


Conquer

by gianabryne1976



Series: Connection [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben is hilariously dirty talking to Rey constantly, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, F/M, Fix-It, Married Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Parents Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 65
Words: 126,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gianabryne1976/pseuds/gianabryne1976
Summary: This is the sequel to my first fanfic, Connection.
Relationships: Finn/Jannah (Star Wars), Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren &Poe, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Zorii Bliss/Poe Dameron
Series: Connection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792003
Comments: 139
Kudos: 55





	1. Bliss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jerseybama99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerseybama99/gifts).



> Ben and Rey are now parents to twin girls! And he's as wrapped as you can imagine!

Part one of Conquer-Bliss

Bliss

The babies are sleeping. Finally.

Ben rolls over and suddenly stops. Don't wake them. Oh God, be still, he smiles.

Driea is right there. He can't help it, he pulls her little body close to him. She is so sweet. He snuggles her to his chest. 

This is heaven, he thinks. She is sleeping so good right now. She had screamed so loud earlier. He thinks his ears are still ringing. She was not happy, her sister was being fed and she wasn't. Ben had learned how to pacify her, letting her suckle his fingertip usually worked but she was smart, she knew the difference. He thought perhaps she was the smartest baby ever. And the most beautiful. 

At first it had worked. She looked up at him, sucking hard on his callused finger. Her eyes were a deep brown, like his. Like his mother's. 

"Shhhh, Mommy is coming, sweet girl. Daddy has you. Shhhh, don't cry baby girl" He smiled as she cooed at him. "That's it, calm down. Mommy can't handle you and your sister. She's worn out. Just give her a second. You are so pretty, you know that? Ahh, yes your Nana would just love you to pieces, you know that?"

"Nana?" Rey asked.

"Yeah, she said she'd like to be called Nana"

"When did she tell you that? When did you see her?"

"Yesterday, I came in the room and she was there watching them. She was so happy Rey"

"I want to see her too, I miss her" 

"I'm so glad I get to see her more often now. I knew she'd appear more now that they are here"

"What about Han? What will we call him?"

Ben sighed, still bouncing Dreia. Rey noticed he had not taken his eyes off of her to even look up. Ben didn't answer.

He's wrapped, Rey thought with a smile, he's going to spoil them rotten.

"I am not" Ben said, hearing her thoughts.

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, okay. You are so smitten"

He cooed back at his daughter. "She's so smart, don't you think? They are so smart. I think they are smarter than other babies this age"

"You are so funny. You can't tell that yet"

"I can. I can tell. Don't you think so?"

Rey unlatched Leiliana from her breast, wiping milk off of her little chin. The baby was passed out, finally. She had screamed even louder than Driea earlier. She had the worst temper, clearly. Like her father. 

She kissed her daughters black hair.

"Yeah, they are very smart" Rey cuddled Leiliana and smiled.

"Here, swap" Rey moved her towards her husband. Ben pulled his pinky finger out of Driea's mouth. She screamed. 

"Okay okay I'm sorry" he laughed "Goodness gracious she's pissed"

Rey quickly took her and Ben swiftly took Leiliana, an expert move he had learned quickly. Swapping them felt like a Jedi move, an advanced one at that. 

"Come on sweetie, shhhh" Rey attached her to her left breast. Dreia preferred that one. She immediately began to eat, still fussing at her Mother for taking too long. 

"Don't say pissed in front of them Ben"

Ben laughed too loudly and Rey shot him a look making him suddenly stop. 

"Sorry" he apologized for almost waking Leiliana.

"Rey they don't understand me yet" he smiled at his wife.

"You don't know that. You just said they are smarter than other babies in the galaxy" 

"Well they are. And prettier too, like their mother" he leaned over and kissed his wife on the head. She smiled. The couple is never alone anymore. Kisses and embraces are stolen moments, between feedings and changings and exhaustion. 

They are both exhausted. 

"They look like you, not me"

Ben looks down at little Leia. That was the nickname he had had given her. Her name sounded like Leia. Plus this one reminded him of his mother. Her feisty temper and dark hair and eyes made him think of her.

"You keep saying that but I don't see it. Just the dark hair. Thank God they don't have my nose" He touched the tip of her little angled nose that looks like her mother's. He had watched carefully to see if they were going to have his ears. He really, really hoped not. Ben was teased incessantly about his ears when he was growing up, begging his mother to let him grow his hair long. Han finally stepped in and allowed him to grow it out long enough to cover them. Leia had always loved his ears but she didn't understand how embarrassed he was.

Rey watched him looking at her and heard his thoughts. "I've already told you that your ears are beautiful. If they have them it will be beautiful on them too"

"You always say that" he said, snuggling Leia to his face.

"Don't wake her up. You need to shave. You're going to leave marks on her again"

"Quit fussing, they love it" he said, turning his daughter to lay on his bare chest and reaching for a blanket. He covered her and laid back in the bed, lifting her to settle under his chin. He patted her back until she burped.

She sighed. He was so cute laying there with their daughter on his chest. Just when she thought she couldn't love him anymore she would watch him with the girls and fall in love with him even more. He was made to be a daddy. 

Driea finally decided she was full and drifted off to sleep, milk-drunk like her sister. Rey burped her and laid back, turning to face her husband. She laid Driea between them. He rolled to his side, laying little Leia next to her sister. They slept better next to each other. 

"I love you Ben Solo" she said with a sigh.

"I love you too. Get some sleep"

Ben reached out and stroked his wife's face. She is so beautiful, he thought. He was amazed by her strength. She always knew what the girls needed. She was a good mother. His thumb lovingly rubbed her cheekbone as she closed her eyes. She was so tired all the time now. 

He reached down to the end of the bed and pulled the blanket up over her.

He fell asleep looking at his little family. He never felt so lucky. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben reunite in passion for the first time after becoming parents....
> 
> I created a playlist for this fic. The theme song for this chapter is "Show Me" by Alina Baraz.

Rey is sitting in the floor changing Driea. Ben has a fussy hungry Leiliana. He gets down in the floor to swap babies so she can nurse Leiliana. 

They hired a nanny because Rey is exhausted. Ben had to go back to work. He was currently building his 17th cottage in the village. He tried to be home as much as he could but she was overwhelmed. 

The nanny takes Driea to put her down for a nap. Ben crawls over to Rey and Leiliana while she nurses her. He lays in front of her and watches. They are too tired to even get out of the floor. 

Ben takes Leiliana and changes her while Rey sits back exhausted and watches. He kisses his baby girls belly over and over after changing her. Rey teases him about having a favorite. Ben says that's not true but he feels a pull towards Leia. He says its because he held her before even Rey did, while Rey delivered Driea. 

They pass Leia to the nanny and they are alone, finally. He places his head in her lap. She plays with his hair, talks about the girls having his hair. She had been told that most babies lose their first hair but they didn't. She laughs saying that their hair is so thick it just stands straight up on their little heads.

They still haven't made love. She's had a bit of a hard time healing. 

His head is in her lap and he thinks about how he misses her. 

She has a mid thigh length black dress on. Nothing sexy, just practical. He thinks she's sexy in anything. His head is on her thigh and he gradually works the dress up her thigh. She doesn't notice yet. Soon his head is on her bare thigh. He rolls to his side and slowly kisses her thigh. 

_I miss her_

She's chattering away about something but he's caught up in how good she smells.

_I need her so bad_

As he gently kisses her thigh, it grabs her attention. He hopes she sees that he's hard as a rock. 

_I need my wife. It's been too long._

"Ben, oh. Wait. Ben. Oh that feels good"

"Babe I miss you" he tells her as he keeps kissing both thighs. He has to hold back and not go further. Yet. 

"But Ben, I don't know" she moans. She wants to grab his hair but she knows better. That will really rile him up. 

"What don't you know?" His voice is muffled as his face is now under her dress. He moves his face up to kiss her belly.

"No Ben wait" she pushes him away slightly and pulls her dress back over her belly. 

He looks up, wondering why she did that. He then realizes that he hasn't even seen her naked since the girls were born. She's been hiding her body from him. 

At night she wears thin long pants and a nursing top to bed. He hasn't even been alone with her at night, the babies sleep with them after the nanny leaves.

"Rey, what's wrong? Talk to me"

"Ben, it's just, it's different now. I'm different"

He slides off of her thigh and lays on his back between her legs looking at her upside down. 

He turns his head sideways and kisses the inside of her thigh again. He kisses it slowly, using his tongue on her skin. She sighs. He's getting to her. 

"How are you different? Still beautiful as ever" 

He knows what she's thinking but she needs to say it. He runs his hand under her dress, touching her belly. She sucks in. 

"Ben, I'm all, flabby now, I'm so fat. My belly is too big. I have stretch marks. I don't think you'll like me now. I don't like me now"

He knew she was thinking that. 

"Rey, let me tell you something"

He reaches further inside her dress, squeezing her belly. His huge hand still completely covers her stomach. 

"I think you are sexier and more beautiful than you were when I first thought about ripping your clothes off with my teeth. Don't you ever think different"

He rolls to his stomach and slowly begins to pull her dress back up. He feels her going to resist.

_Don't push me away. Let me look at you. I want to see you. I miss you. Please don't push me away._

He begins to kiss her belly. He runs his tongue around her belly button. She inhales sharply.

_I want to see this belly that held_ _my beautiful girls. Your belly is sacred to me now because of that. No stretch marks change that._

She begins to relent to him, speaking back. 

_Its not just my stomach Ben. Everything changed._

This intimate conversation continues between them as he goes back down to her thighs.

_I want to taste you like I used to. Let me in Rey. Please._

He reaches around her waist and pulls her down, laying her flat on her back. 

He stays between her thighs, pulling her legs up and open. He kisses the inside of both legs. 

He kisses her through her panties. She groans. He can feel the moist heat coming from her. It makes him grow even harder. 

He goes up to her belly again and looks at it, showering it with kisses.

He speaks out loud, "Rey, you are beautiful. Your belly is gorgeous. Quit worrying. I love you. No matter what. Do you believe me?" 

"Yes Ben, I do. I love you too" she moans at his touch.

He grabs the waistband of her panties with his teeth. 

"I'll stop if you want me to" 

"No Ben, don't stop" she drags the words out with a moan.

"Good cause I was lying"

She smiles with a soft giggle.

He pulls her panties off using his hands and teeth.

He stops to look at her. She's just as amazing to him as before. Even more so. 

"I've missed you so much, you are gorgeous"

His tongue separates her folds. Her taste drives him wild.

He slowly licks her clit and she pushes her groin into his face. He cups her rear with both hands, sinking deeper into her softness. 

She gasps his name and grabs his hair with both hands. 

His erection makes it uncomfortable to lay on his stomach so he lifts up on his elbows then his knees, still with his face between her thighs, making love to her with his mouth. 

She begins to climax. He wraps his arms around her thighs, holding tight while she thrusts against his face. 

This is the most sexy he'sever seen her. He's never been so turned on.

"I-I-I need you Ben. Please" she groans loudly.

He lays her down gently and works up her body, working her dress up as he goes. He pulls it over her head. 

He kisses her deeply. Their tongues have always been a great match. He is lying on top of her. 

He senses discomfort. 

"What's wrong babe?" He whispers in her ear and nibbles it.

"You're squishing me. Put me on the bed. This floor is hard"

"I'm hard as hell myself" he says

He stands and picks her up quickly.

He carries her over to their bed. He lays her down softly and spreads her legs again. He kneels over her, on all fours so she isn't crushed again. 

"Rey, will it hurt bad? I don't want to hurt you"

She looks into his eyes and he is reminded of how much he loves their hazel color.

"You'll take care of me. You always do. I trust you. I belong to you, remember?"

He had missed hearing that.

He stands again and removes his clothing. 

He kneels between her thighs and grabs her hips. Her post-baby body is the most gorgeous he's ever seen it. Her breasts are larger than ever from the milk inside that feeds his children.

He never breaks his stare or his force connect from her. He enters his wife slowly, carefully, growling from her heat on him. This is going to be sweet torture.

She yelps from the pain, digging her nails into his arms. 

He freezes.

_Keep going Ben, don't stop._

She has tears flowing from both eyes. 

_Maybe this isn't a good idea yet_

_No. Don't stop. I will get used to you again_

He is fully embedded inside of her but afraid to move. 

She begins to move her hips slowly, grinding into him. She moans from heavenly pain. 

_You feel amazing, Rey._

He stays on his knees watching her make love to him. He feels her start to tighten. It takes all of his strength not to thrust inside of her.

"Ben! Ben! Ben……I missed you" she groans, trying not to scream. 

She goes faster and harder until she comes. He comes with her, growling her name.

He pulls out and falls next to her, pulling her to him.

That was the hardest thing he's ever done while making love to her. Just being still. He had desperately wanted to pound into her but that will happen eventually. 

Soon. Very very soon, he hopes.

"I love you Rey Solo"

"I love you too" she whispers and falls asleep in his arms.   
  



	3. The Visit

Three years have passed by. The girls are growing and Ben and Rey are much better rested. They've transitioned into parenthood easily. Ben is quite the businessman now. Rey has her hands full but still manages to train daily while the nanny tends to the girls. Rey and Ben have daily meditations, connecting with The Force. 

Supreme Commander of the Resistance, Poe Dameron lands his Xwing on Driea. He's come to see his best friend. He is alone. Finn suddenly had other business to attend to.

Poe has no idea how to find them. It's been four years since he's seen her. They have written to each other the entire time. Poe has been deeply concerned for her happiness. He doesn't trust that asshole Ben or Kylo or whoever the hell he is to be good to her. 

He dreads seeing HIM but he's desperate.

He has to find out where they live. He inquires in the village and is met with hostility. The locals are very protective of Ben and Rey. This was not going to be an easy task for him. 

Poe notices how much it's grown since the last time he was there. Some nice homes have been added.

"You are looking for the builder? If you need him to build for you, he only meets in the cantina"

"No, this man is very tall and ummm, large, with black hair. Scary looking dude. His wife is very petite"

He hates saying that Ben is large and scary looking. _Emo looking thing_ , he says to himself.

"Yeah, that's him alright"

"No, he doesn't build. That's not him"

"Yeah, he does. He built half the houses here"

Poe is shocked. He looks around again at the homes. _The guy is fucking talented. Well shit._

From Supreme Leader to house builder. He'd laugh except he was impressed. Which pissed him off.

"The man you speak of is an important man around here. He contributes a lot of money to the village. So if you are here to start trouble, you'd best go. No one around here will stand for it"

Poe realizes just how much the village has changed. There was only a market and now there's many businesses. 

_Leia's money. That's how they used it. To help grow this._

Poe was not happy about losing that money but at least it was being put to good use. 

Once again, Poe's impressed. Once again, that pisses him off. 

The old man wants the stranger to move on. Especially since he's not buying anything.

"Look, the man you are looking for, I'm not telling you where they live. He's real protective of his family"

"Family??? They don't have kids" 

"See? You don't even know the guy. I don't know who you are. If you did, you'd know more about him"

"Listen, I need to find him. It's really important. Can you get a message to his wife from me? I'll pay you" Poe digs out a handful of coins. 

"Oh, you want to talk to his wife? Nope, hell no. You better get the hell out of here. Ben doesn't want anyone around his wife or girls. Go on, get. I ain't getting my ass kicked again", the man rubs his crooked nose.

"GIRLS??" He practically yells as the man walks away. 

_I can't believe this. Rey is a mother? To more than one kid? Why didn't she tell me?_

He has to sit.

_Of course she didn't tell me. They'd be stupid to let that get out._

He smiles at the thought of Rey being a mom. _I wonder how old they are?_

A small boy approaches him. 

"You want to know where they are? I'll go tell them you are looking for them. That man is scared of him. Mr Ben broke his nose for grabbing Ms Rey one day. But I'm not scared. Mr Ben is my friend" 

His young eyes look down at Poe's hand, still holding the coins

"I'll give you more to take me to them" he says, reaching for more coins.

"No, no, no, Mr Ben will be really mad. But I'll go tell him. You wait here"

Poe sighs. 

"Alright here's one coin. You get the rest when I see them. Tell him that the pilot is here"

He watches the kid run off. He wonders if Ben will even tell Rey he's here. 

_Rey is a mother_ , he thinks. Wow. He can't get used to that.

He looks back at the man with the crooked nose and raises his eyebrows. Well, at least Ben took care of that asshole.

The kid comes back and says follow me. 

He follows the kid a long distance into the forest to a house. 

He finds himself impressed with how nice the house is. Dammit, the guy did a good job. 

Before he even gets 20 feet from the door, it bursts open and his dear friend comes running out.

"Poe!!!!"

She runs into him full force, almost knocking him down.

"Poe! I can't believe it! Look at you! How have you not aged at all?? I'm so happy you came!"

"Rey, you look beautiful. Look at this place. I heard a strange rumor. Ben….he built this? Really?"

She turned to look at her home like it was a castle. She was beaming. Rey had never had a home of her own. She had lived inside an abandoned AT-AT as a child, pretty much homeless on a horrible planet named Jakku. She had then skipped around the galaxy not staying in one place for long. She was obviously very proud of her new home. 

"Oh my gosh yes Poe! Can you believe it? He's very talented. Come inside"

"No Rey, I don't think so. I'll stay out here. I don't really want to see Ben. I'm sure he feels the same way. Oh and by the way, I'm sorry, I'm about to explode to ask you something"

"What? And Ben's not here"

"Rey, you got kids? For real?"

She beamed again. She looked so happy and healthy. He'd never seen her look so pretty. She was wearing a simple blue dress and her hair was down and way longer than he remembered. He'd never even seen her in a dress. She certainly didn't look like the Jedi warrior that defeated the First Order and saved the galaxy. 

He thought she was gorgeous. 

"Yes Poe. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Ben said we just couldn't chance it"

He grabbed her hands. He found himself a bit emotional.

"It's fine Rey. I understand. I would be the same way. I'm glad Ben is so protective of you and your…..girls? Two girls? Wow. How old are they?"

"They are 3 years old"

"Both of them? You mean they are twins?"

"Yes, they are. Come inside please. They are asleep right now. I can't leave. They haven't woken up yet. Ben is gone but I promise he won't be mad. He's changed Poe. He's not like that anymore"

"I guess I will. I swear Rey, I can't deal with him right now if he starts shit. There's too much going on"

"Well now you are scaring me. Come in"

Poe entered her home. It was really nice. Poe found himself jealous. He too had never really had a real home. He lived on a military base now. Not really a home. Not like this. This was, well, a normal life. 

He was very happy for her. At one point he had not thought that badass Rey the Jedi would ever be a simple wife and mother but looking at her now, she just looked like a natural. 

Rey told him to sit and she sat next to him on a long sofa that looked handmade. 

Don't tell me he built this too, he thought, inwardly rolling his eyes. He decided not to ask. It was so weird. 

"Before you tell me why you are here, you have to tell me the latest with Zorri. Did you ever talk to her? Like I told you too? You better say yes or I'm going to kick your ass"

Poe laughed. He had no doubt she could. 

"Yeah, I did"

"And????? Don't leave me hanging Poe"

"Well, she kissed me. She's actually kissed me a few times since then. I think we are together? Hell, I don't know. But I'm happy"

"I told you! Didn't I tell you?? Oh my gosh Poe. I wish I could see her again! Well, actually, I've never seen her, not her face anyways"

"You want to see what she looks like? I have a picture on my data pad"

"Are you kidding me?? Yes! Show me show me" 

Rey was literally bouncing. Poe had been asking Rey for advice about Zorri. Things had gone horribly wrong years ago between them. He had stupidly walked away from her, breaking her heart. Zorri had joined the Resistance after Exegol and they had avoided each other as much as possible. Poe was an idiot and Rey told him that. Rey had only known Zorri for a short time but could see they had great chemistry. Rey wasn't one to leave things alone so she had pestered him for years to right his wrongs. 

Poe pulled out his datapad and tapped in some code. Up popped a picture of a beautiful woman, laughing. She had the most gorgeous sky blue eyes. 

She snatched the device out of his hand. 

"Are you kidding me? Poe! What the actual hell is wrong with you?? She is stunning. Why the hell did you wait so long to go after her?" 

She held up the device next to his face, looking at the picture then at him then at the picture

"Rey, what are you doing?"

"Yep, gorgeous couple. Almost as gorgeous as Ben and I are"

At this, Poe shifted, a bit uncomfortable. He didn't like to think of her and Ben. He never asked her anything about him or her or them. He only talked about himself in their letters to each other. Which lead him to another thought.

"Rey, I'm sorry for being so selfish and not even knowing you have children now"

"Well you couldn't know if I didn't tell you"

"Are they okay? It's getting late" he looks concerned

Rey smiled and patted Poe's hand "We have a rule around here, let them sleep"

Poe laughed and the door opened. 

Poe looked up and kept looking up. 

Great, Poe thought, tall-as-fuck asshole is home.


	4. The News

Surprised was not the word for it.

Here sits his wife, in their home, next to her "best friend", one of his enemies.

Poe was hugging her.

Ben nods. "Poe" he says, like he sees him everyday. He will not show his surprise to this dickhead.

Poe nods back, "Ben"

Rey jumps up, greeting her husband, trying to ignore the instant tension in the room. She's just glad Poe called him Ben.

Gotta grasp at straws here, she thinks.

Rey circles the small table in front of the sofa. She grabs Ben's hand.

"Ben, Poe came for a visit! Isn't that nice?"

"Yeah, nice" he hasn't taken his eyes off of the man.

Ben looks down at his wife "Are they up yet?" he asks.

"No, not yet"

Awful late, isn't it? Are they okay?"

"I'm sure they are"

Then the room is silent.

Poe is very uncomfortable. He stands. This was a bad idea.

"Uh, I'll be going now. I just wanted to say hello"

Rey gets angry, "Oh no you will not! You came for a reason! You told me. Besides, you haven't met my girls. Sit down"

Ben shifts his stance. He instantly knew something was up. Poe came here for a reason?

"Um, yeah, well, maybe it was a mistake" he heads towards the door. Ben wasn't stopping him.

But Rey was.

"SIT!" she says sternly

Poe sits.

Hell, Ben felt the urge to sit too. He was a bit intimidated by his wife. Maybe more than a bit....

"I'll be back" Ben says with a look at Poe.

Ben leaves the room.

"It's not like you to let him get to you" Rey says to Poe.

"Well damn Rey, this is his territory. The last time I saw you was in a garden, not a house that HE built"

"You are impressed, aren't you? Admit it"

"Nope. I'm not admitting shit" he flashed that grin he was known for.

Poe, what's going on?"

"Sit down Rey, no, not here. Sit over there" he motioned across the room.

Rey never realized that she was a natural flirt. She couldn't help it. She could confuse a man easily. Poe had business to attend to. He didn't need to deal with Mr Jealousy right now.

"I don't know if we should wait for Ben" Poe added.

"Poe what the hell is it? Is this about Ben, or me, or what?"

"All of that"

Rey's heart jumped. She had a bad, very bad feeling.

"Spill it. NOW"

"Rey, you know what I'm about to say. You are a Jedi. You haven't felt anything?"

Rey's eyes darted around the room, anxious. She had felt it. She had ignored it.

Who is it? Where are they? Who's in charge?"

"Somehow, someway, it's that idiot. Hux"

Ben appeared.

"What the actual fuck did you say??" Ben was almost yelling.

Truth be told, Ben had felt it too. A rising. He had also pushed it away.

"Ben, sit" Rey said

Rey held a hand up at Poe.

"Before we start, Ben, are they awake?"

"Yeah, they were up already, playing"

"Where are they now?"

"Out back"

Rey looked at Poe, a slightly desperate look in her eyes.

"Poe, are we in danger? I have to know. Right now"

Ben spoke up "I told you I'll take care of my family. No matter what Rey"

Poe looks at Ben Solo. The man's eyes were on fire. For just a second, he doesn't see his enemy. He sees a husband who will do whatever he has to do.

Poe thinks hopefully he did the right thing telling them. He reassures her.

"No Rey, we have no reason to think that Hux knows you two are even alive"

"Do they know anything about this planet? Have they ever charted it?"

"No" Ben says.

Poe sits back. He forgets who he's dealing with. The former Supreme Leader himself and First Knight of the Knights of Ren, Kylo Ren.

Ben would've charted it himself if they knew about it.

If Hux knows about Ben and Rey, he's a dead man, Poe thinks to himself, trying not to be impressed. Again.

Dammit.

Ben continues.

"I never even heard of this planet before Rey brought me here. We would not have stayed if the First Order was familiar with it"

Poe spoke to the both of them but only looked at Rey.

"There is a following building up. Hux has changed. People are actually believing this guy. He is now calling himself the Supreme Leader"

"Of course he is" Ben lights a cigarette, Rey looking on disapprovingly, He adds, "How is the fuck is he even alive?"

No one could answer that.

"So what now Poe?" asked Rey

"I have been all over the galaxy recruiting the best pilots and gunners. During Exegol, Lando gathered everyone he could find. The people were tired of it. They want freedom. They are ready to fight. They aren't going to go back to living in fear. But I need leaders. Experienced ones...."

He left it at that and looked at Rey.

"You came here to bring me back, didn't you Poe?"

Poe was actually afraid to look at Ben. Not because he was Kylo Ren but because he was Ben Solo, Rey's husband and he had come to try to talk this man's wife into leaving their home and fighting the new First Order.

"Rey, we need you...."

"Poe...."

"I figured it didn't hurt to try"

There was a scream from outside, then crying.

The girls were fighting. Again.

Rey stood "I'll be back. You two don't kill each other or I'll kick both of your asses'

Neither man doubted her.

Neither man hesitated to restart the feud.

Ben looks at Poe, pissed as hell. How dare this dickhead come into his home and try to take his wife away?

"I cannot believe you. You come into MY home, trying to take MY wife with you. If I didn't think she'd kick my ass, I'd kick yours"

Poe grins, he can't help but try to piss Ben off.

"Must be emasculating knowing your wife can kick your ass"

Ben takes a long puff of his cigarette and blows out a long stream of smoke, a smirk going across his face.

"Nope. I enjoy every time she does anything to my ass"

Ben looks him straight in the eye, trying to remind him of what he lost.

Poe shifts uncomfortably because he knows Ben remembers his feelings for Rey. He supposed he had walked right in to that one.

That was one picture he did not want in his head.

He'd let Ben win the upper hand, for now.

Poe shook it off and spoke, "Anyways, thank you for taking care of her. At least you got that right"

"Well a fuck you to you too, Dameron. She's my wife. Of course I take care of her"

Poe tried to calm things down.

"I'm not trying to take her away from you. I'm trying to recruit my best fighter pilot. You'd do the same thing if you were in my position. I'm just doing my job"

"You'll never be as good at it as my mom was"

"That's the first thing you've ever said I agree with"

Ben suddenly stands up, towering over Poe. Poe stands up, ready to bounce if needed.

"She's a mother! You are fucked up trying to take her away from them. It's not happening!!"

"You think I want to take her from those girls?? I didn't know she was a mother! For over a year I've held off. I've not said a damn thing to her about it!"

Ben looks at Poe, jaw clenched.

"Yeah, what the fuck have you been saying to my wife in your letters?"

Poe grins at another opportunity to irritate him.

"She doesn't tell you? Interesting. You'd think she would"

He started to add now who's jealous but he wasn't quite that stupid

"This is bullshit. Get out and go run your little army"

"That "little army" was your mom's army. I'm just trying to continue what she started. I'd think you'd give a shit about your Mom's legacy"

Ben leans over Poe and gets eye to eye, fuming.

"Do NOT talk to me about MY mother. You got it, motherfucker?"

Poe was about to ask him how it felt knowing he'd killed both of his parents but there was a voice.

A small voice.

"Papa? You mad?"

Ben stands up quickly and turns quickly to his sweet girl. His entire face changes into a grin.

"No baby, Papa's not mad"

Driea runs up to him, holding her arms up.

"Papa up"

He leans his tall frame over and swoops her up. She's squealing. When her father lifted her straight up, it was like flying.

"Daddy who is that?"

He must put on an act for the benefit of his daughter.

"This is Poe. He is Mama's friend"

She squirms to get down. Ben either has to put her down or get kicked relentlessly.

She walks reluctantly up to Poe, curious.

"You know my Mama? I'm Driea Solo"

Poe hides his amusement at this mini-Rey. She definitely has her mother's spunk. Looks exactly like Rey with black hair. He sees Leia in her eyes.

"Yes I do. I'm Poe Dameron"

"Poe that flies?"

"You know my name?" Poe asked, surprised.

She sets her hand on her hip and cocks her little head sideways, eyeing him. It takes everything in him not to laugh. Yep, Rey all over again.

Driea Solo says "Yep, mama said you fly"

Ben is grinning at his daughter. Poe sees the pride in his eyes. He can't believe someone like Ben is the father to this pretty little girl. Poe had watched him go from nearly raging to calmness at the sound of her voice.

This was not the same man who was known to destroy a room in seconds.

"I do. I flew with your mama"

"And my Nana too"

This startles Poe. She means Leia?

He glances at Ben, who was about to punch him a minute ago. He just laughs.

Ben senses that Poe is speechless so he steps in.

"Yes he did. He was Nana's best pilot, remember? Now, go see what Mama is doing. Shoo!"

Poe's mouth falls open at the compliment

She runs off screaming, "MAMA, PAPA WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!"

Poe flinches at her screaming.

Ben speaks up and says "Yeah she'll interrogate you all day"

The bad choice of words make things more awkward between the two men. Ben looks down at the floor, ashamed of his past life.

"Ben, look, regardless of how I feel about you, I understand you being pissed. She's your wife and you two have this life"

Poe waves his hand around the room, indicating their home and marriage and children

"I'm putting myself in your shoes. I wouldn't let her go either"

Dammit, I will not like this dickhead, Ben thinks.

He forces himself to look pissed again.

"Well I guess you don't know Rey as well as I do, I can't keep her here if she wants to go, she's her own woman and I've not made her stay with me. If she goes I won't stop her"

Suddenly the fear of her possibly leaving hits Ben and terrifies him.

Poe watches this pale man turn even paler. He didn't think that was possible.

Poe balls his fists.

He feels sorry for this bastard. He really doesn't know how to cope without her, Poe realizes. Fuck it all, he loves her.

Poe knows if Rey had become his woman, like he had wanted at one time, he couldn't let her go. He couldn't live without her either.

It had taken Poe a long time, years, to learn to live without Rey in his life.

That's why he had let things stay stagnant between him and Zorri for five fucking years. Rey had broken his heart when she left with Ben. Rey had broken another man's heart also.

She didn't even know the power she had over all three men.

"So, if she goes back to the Resistance, how the fuck do me and you deal with each other?"

"Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours"

"Sounds good to me"

"Yeah and if you could hug my wife a bit LESS I'd appreciate that"

Poe was more comfortable with the tension between them. This was more like it.

"I don't give a fuck what you appreciate"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Priorities

Rey comes back into the room and Ben pulls her to his side in quite the possessive way and glares at Poe

Poe laughs at him a bit.

Rey chastises her husband through their connection.

_"Ben, what's got into you?"_

_"Not a thing babe"_

_"Calm down"_

_"I'm just hugging you"_

" _Sit down Ben"_

Ben obliges his wife, still staring at Poe.

Poe changes the subject.

"Are they identical?"

Ben is confused. "Is who identical?"

"The girls"

"Oh yeah. Yes they are, so far"

"How do you tell them apart?"

Rey laughs. "They may be identical in looks but polar opposites in personality"

Ben smiles, "You got lucky, Driea is the nice one"

Rey looks offended "Both of my daughters are nice!"

Ben laughs "Okay even you know that's not completely true"

Poe watches them argue over their kids.

They seem so natural at this, being parents. Poe felt like shit asking Rey to leave.

Ben hollers "Leiliana, come here!"

Poe realizes Ben, formerly badass Kylo Ren, wants to show off his daughter.

This is wild, he thinks.

Poe could've sworn the same kid he saw earlier ran into the room. But where the first one was shy, this one storms in like she owns the place. Poe could tell the difference.

This little girl looks him up and down.

"Who are you?" She demands.

Yep, little Ben, Poe thinks. Or....

Little Leia Organa.

"I'm Poe. What's your name?"

She steps up to him, eyeing him. She sticks her hand out.

Poe covers his mouth with his hand, looking at a beaming Ben.

Rey noticed Poe didn't look at her but at Ben.

Rey watched a little common glance between the two men.

It's amazing how a child can bring two enemies together, even for a moment.

Poe took her little hand, surprised when she firmly shook it. He couldn't stop the smile on his face.

"My name is Leiliana Solo. I know who you are. What are you here for?"

Poe forced himself to be serious with this little force of power.

"I came to visit your Mama...and Papa" he added, wanting to roll his eyes at the lie he told.

"You are the pilot. You knew my Nana. You were her friend"

Poe tried not to show his emotions. Leia was like a mom to him and he missed her terribly.

"Yes I knew her. You look like her"

"Yes I do. She was a Jedi and a General"

"The best damn general I ever knew" Poe said and covered his mouth. He looked up at Rey.

"Sorry"

Leiliana spoke up again

"It's okay Papa says damn all the time"

"Leiliana!! Don't cuss!" Rey fussed at her daughter, giving a pointed look at Ben clearly blaming him for their daughters mouth.

Ben laughed out loud. He couldn't help it. Leiliana was his pride and joy. Of course Driea was too but this one....there was something about her. She was clearly a mix of Leia Skywalker Organa and Han Solo in a way he never had been.

"Go check on your sister"

She gave Poe another once over and took off, stopping to ask her Mommy "Where's my staff?"

Rey reached over and grabbed a small staff, identical to her old one. She handed it to her daughter.

"Go practice! And NOT ON YOUR SISTER!" she yelled after the running child.

Poe could finally burst out laughing.

"Wow"

"I told you" said Ben

Mini Leia ran out of the room but soon returned.

"Papa!! The ball!! It's in the hole again!!"

Ben grumbled something about fixing the damn hole and walked out behind his little girl.

Rey and Poe met eyes and laughed.

"If you could see all this through my eyes....this is crazy. I leave here last time ready to kill this man and now he's chasing balls and he's got kids and you are a housewife....."

"I know Poe, it's like a dream sometimes. But Poe, do you see it? He's not the same, you see it don't you?"

"Yes Rey I do but you have to realize, I'm still dealing with the repercussions of what he left behind so pardon me if I'm bitter towards him"

Poe rummages around in his bag and pulls out a communicator. He walks over and sits next to Rey. He places the communicator in her hand.

"Just in case you change your mind"

"I won't Poe. I can't"

"I know. I just....if you need anything"

Ben re-enters the room and Rey stands quickly, slipping the communicator under the chair before standing.

Rey looked at her dear friend "Poe, you see what I have here"

"I know Rey. I had no idea. I wouldn't have even asked if I had known. Your priorities are here"

He stands to leave. He looks at Ben.

"Ummm....I don't know what to say. You've done good here. I know this is a sensitive subject but Leia talked to me years ago. This was what she always wanted for you Ben"

Ben just nodded. He wasn't about to show him what those words did to him.

Rey hugged Poe. Poe didn't really hug back.

"Please write to me. I have to know what's happening. With everything. You can do this Poe. You can defeat them again. I know you can"

"Yeah, I hope so" he looked doubtful. How can he do this without Rey?

"Hug Finn from me. Tell him I'm still waiting on his letter"

"I will"

He nodded at Ben and left.

Rey stood, staring at the spot where Poe had been standing. Ben ran his hands down her arms. She turned and buried her face in his chest.

"Rey?"

"Just, hold me"

"Rey, if you want to go....I.....won't stop you...."

_But please don't go, don't leave us._

He blocked her from hearing that last part.

"I know, just hold me."


	6. Yearning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The exhausted parents plan a night alone....
> 
> I created a playlist for this fic. This chapter's theme song is "Army" by Ellie Goulding.

Poe's visit was one month ago.

"Leiliana! Quit teasing your sister!"

"I know, I know Driea, you will be able to lift it soon. Maybe you and Papa can practice alone? Shhhh....calm down" she holds her sensitive girl "Go play, don't let her upset you"

She watches her girls catch minnows in the creek behind their home.

Leiliana's force skills clearly are stronger than her sister's. She is able to lift much bigger rocks much higher than her sister.

Rey isn't sure if one twin possessed more patience to learn or if Ben has been focusing on one daughter over the other.

Rey has tried to train with the girls but being the wife of Ben Solo and the mother of twins, Rey is exhausted. The nanny helps some but Rey is determined to do most. After all, she had dreamed of having her own family one day. She had fought wars, she could handle this.

"Just focus on your own training", Ben had told her. "Let me work with them, it's my only chance to spend time with them one on one. You do enough, babe"

Rey had fallen out of practice over and over in the last four years. Saber practice and her Jedi meditations had fallen by the wayside in place of taking care of her home and her family. She rarely sees Luke anymore. She wonders if he is disappointed in her.

"He's not, Rey" She hears a deep low voice speak from behind her. Ben is home. The sound of him saying her name still gives her goosebumps. She turns around.

"Oh, hello, handsome" Rey stands on her tiptoes to kiss this still sexy, still amazing man she calls her soulmate.

"Hello, gorgeous" he kisses her back, lingering a moment, hugging her to his chest. He pulls away, looking at her.

"He's proud of you. He knows this is your life now. But he misses you too. Why don't you let me take over? Go meditate"

She lays her cheek on his broad chest. He is still so muscular and fit. She is so disappointed in herself. Her body has changed so much. She doesn't feel like herself anymore. It's hard to keep weight off, not training, not spending time on herself.

"I honestly just want to sleep" she sighs into his chest.

"Then go sleep" he pulls her to him and turns his back to the girls. He runs his hands all over her body, from her neck down to her rear. He bends to growl into her ear.

"And I think your body is amazing. I can't wait to get you undressed so I can worship it again"

He lifts her up and gives her a real kiss, slow and seductive. Her body relaxes into him. It had been what? Six days?

 _Try ten_ , Ben speaks into her mind, digging his fingers deeper into her rear. He can feel himself growing hard. _I think I need a "nap" with you._ He growls again while still kissing her. He slowly puts her down but her body slid down his erection, making him harder.

No matter how tired she is, she is never too tired to spend all night making love to Ben Solo. It is still her favorite hobby.

_All night? You forget I'm ten years older than you. I don't think I have it in me anymore babe._

Rey sends a quick glance at the girls to make sure they aren't watching. She slides one hand down and massages him through his trousers. She uses her nails to slowly scrape up and down.

"You can handle it, I'm sure" She watches his face as his eyes roll into the top of his head.

_Yeah, maybe one night........umm......_

He can't even form a coherent thought. She smiles at the power she possesses over him.

Rey continues stroking him, sending images into his mind of what can be accomplished in an all-night tryst. He reciprocates by sending her an image of his face between her thighs.

He raises his eyebrows, smirking sexily at her. She responds by leaning up and biting his earlobe and whispering.

"Maybe Violet will keep them tonight and then I can get as loud as I want. I haven't screamed your name in months, you know"

"Yeah...go....find....out"

Ben whispers back, finding it hard to speak as his wife continues to assault his groin.

She goes to walk away, excited at the thought of having an entire night alone with her husband. Ben grabs her.

_Not yet. You gotta stand there a minute. And don't touch me. Just be still._

She laughs at Ben's predicament. She changes the subject, placing her hands behind her back, putting on an innocent face.

"How was your day?" She is still giggling a bit at him trying to breathe normally.

"You aren't funny" he says, clearly exasperated with the situation she's put him in. Then he smiles. He loves that after all this time, she still has such desire for him. He pushes a curl out of her eyes. She had cut her hair very short recently, tired of the upkeep. He loves it. He went to remove his hand from her face. She captures it with her own much smaller hand. She rubs her cheek into it, feeling his rough calluses on her skin.

"I love you" she kisses his palm, dirty from a days work. She is in love with his hands. Her other hand lies on his chest, sliding down to his stomach.

"I love you more" he backs himself away from her body, leaning in to kiss her once more and turns away from her

_But I don't trust that other hand one bit._

She throws her head back, laughing out loud.

 _Go talk to Violet_ , he throws that inner thought back over his shoulder, going to see his girls

"Hey! Do we have enough to fish with? Let me see! Oh wow! You two did great!"

She watches this huge man stoop down to get eye to eye with their little ones. They push him backwards and both tackle him. He lies on his back grabbing Driea and holding her straight up in the air, her sister squealing in jealousy.

"Me!! Me!! My turn!"

He balances Driea on one hand and lifts Leia with the other, now holding both in the air with hands large enough to cover their entire bodies. Both screaming with joy, feeling secure that he wouldn't drop them.

They think surely he is some kind of invincible hero.

Rey knows he is. How did their lives change so much in just six years?

She smiles, so happy and goes to see her dear friend at the market, the one who was so pivotal during the first two years they resided on Driea. The older lady adores the girls and probably would take them for the night.

The thought of all night with Ben makes her walk much faster.

"Of course I will, I wish you'd ask more often. I love having them over" her sweet friend responds to Rey's question.

Violet has come to mean so much to both of them. She is really their only friend. They can't afford to get too close to people. They had trusted her with the truth of their pasts. Violet is force sensitive.

"Oh thank you!" She hugs her friend.

She runs home to gather their things and bring them back to the market. The girls love playing in Violet's booth. She has been teaching them some beginner sewing and embroidery skills. Rey wants the girls to know as much as they can about everything.

She is determined they have many skills. Women need to be able to provide for themselves. She has even begun to teach them how to repair machinery. Rey still gets a thrill out of climbing under a broken down speeder and repairing it. Ben finds it strangely sexy.

Ben is feeding them a snack when she returned.

Seeing Ben she sends him a sexy wink, answering his question. He comes over, pulled her into the other room and kissing her long and hard, slipping one hand up her skirt, sliding between her thighs. He massages there until she is quite wet.

He whispers into her mouth, "I've got to go check on a project. I'll take them to her. You know how I put that big soaker tub in for you? The one you never use? Be naked and in it when I get back" he whispers, assaulting her neck with kisses and bites.

"Mmm-hmmm" she sighs.

He suddenly stops

She is quite lightheaded, grabbing the wall to steady herself. She pouts.

 _Payback,_ he speaks across their bond, winking and smiling devilishly, walking away.

He still takes her breath away.

She takes her time preparing for his return. She had thought it was so silly, a big tub. She never has time for such luxury. It did prove convenient when it came to bathing twins. Ben constantly reminds her that the gift is for her too.

Rey decides she deserves it this night. She fills it and then remembers a bottle of flowery scented soap he had bought her as yet another gift. He is always giving her things. She sighs at how this man loves her as she fetches the soap. He'll like that.

She lowers herself into the water, moaning. She needs to do this more often. This is heavenly. She sets to work preparing herself for his return, soaping up the washcloth and lathering herself more than usual. She can't wait for tonight. The thought of having him all to herself makes her even more wet and ready. The man is amazing in bed, she thinks, her body flushing.

She sees her legs and flinchs. She has not shaved in a while. The women in her culture don't usually do that but the first time she had, she felt much more sexy. Ben was very aroused by it too, she remembered with yet another wave going through her body. Where is he anyways?

The only razor is his. He also has face cream. She climbs out and finds his shaving kit. She climbs back in and carefully starts on one leg. The razor is newly sharpened so she is a little nervous. Sliced up legs aren't sexy, she thinks.

She feels his return. She always does. Their one soul is constantly in tune. She would get busy with the girls and not feel him as intimately on some days. Most of the time she feels his every emotion and as he approaches closer to her, it is stronger. She senses his excitement.

He comes into the room and watches her. She is finally in the tub he put in for her. He can't believe how beautiful she is.

**Army by Ellie Goulding**

_I know_ _that I've been messed up_  
_You never let me give up_  
_All the nights and the fights_  
_And the blood and the breakups_  
_You always had to call off_  
_I am pain, I'm a child, I'm afraid_  
_Yet you understand_  
_Yeah like no one can_  
_Know that we don't look like much_  
_But no one fucks it up like us_

_Sixteen and you never even judged me_  
_Matter of fact I always thought you were too cool for me_  
_Sitting there in the caravan_  
_All the nights we've been drunk on the floor_  
_Yet you understand_  
_Yeah like no one can_  
_We both know what they say about us_  
_But they don't stand a chance because_

_When I'm with you_  
_When I'm with you_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_When I'm with you_  
_When I'm with you_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_Standing with an army_

_Dark times, you could always find the bright side_  
_I'm amazed by the things that you would sacrifice_  
_Just to be there for me_  
_How you cringe when you sing out of tune_  
_Yet it's everything_  
_So don't change a thing_  
_We both know what they say about us_  
_But they don't stand a chance because_

_When I'm with you_  
_When I'm with you_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_When I'm with you_  
_When I'm with you_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_Standing with an army_

_Standing with an army_  
_Standing with an army_  
_Standing with an army_  
_Standing with an army (ooh I'll be yours)_  
_Standing with an army_  
_Standing with an army_  
_I'm standing with an army_

_Yet you understand_  
_Yeah like no one can_  
_We both know what they say about us_

_When I'm with you (when I'm with you)_  
_When I'm with you (when I'm with you)_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_When I'm with you (when I'm with you)_  
_When I'm with you (when I'm with you)_  
_I'm standing with an army_  
_They don't have a chance either_


	7. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben enjoy their alone time....
> 
> I've created a playlist for this fic. The theme song for this chapter is "Blue Jeans" by Lana Del Rey.

He walks in and sits down on the edge of the tub, watching her shave.

"Let me guess? This turns you on?"

"You have no idea how much," he answered watching his razor glide up her leg.

"Everything turns you on Ben Solo"

"It's your fault, Rey Solo. I mean, hell, look at you"

She slid her leg under the water and lifted the other.

"Let me do it"

"Let you do what? Shave my leg?"

"Yeah, let me"

"Nuh uh, I don't think so, you don't know how. You'll cut me"

He rubbed his half shaven face. "I have to tackle this every day. Besides, you trusted me to keep you alive in a room full of Praetorian Guards. But not to shave your leg?"

He stood and undressed. Her train of thought was gone at the site of Ben Solo, naked.

_Damn........_

_That night in the shower was the first time I heard you think that. You still think that, huh?_

_Oh yes Ben. It's more like DAMN._

He smiled and proceeded to try to climb in with her.

"Um, hun? I think this isn't going to work" Rey shifted everywhere trying not to get squished by his large..... everything.

"Just, here, scoot this way"

She wound up on his thighs, her legs wrapped around his waist.

Ben grinned. "This worked out better than I thought"

"Yeah except I still need to shave my other leg"

He didn't hear her. He was too busy groping her. His fingers were under her ass, digging in, sliding to places that made her forget everything but him.

_Oh Force Rey you are so amazing. I just want to devour you......_

_Ben, oh, this was a good idea, yeah, do that....._

His fingers were inside her, pushing upward, curling inward at a pace that had her nearly screaming in seconds. She ground into his hand almost slipping off his lap. He held onto her, biting and sucking at her neck.

_Come for me Rey. I need to hear you scream._

She did as she was told, screaming his name, letting completely go, knowing he had her. It took every bit of restraint he had not to plunge his cock into her. He just watched her.

_Kriff you are so fucking fine right now...._

He removed his fingers from her, holding her as she shuddered and quaked from the after effects of her orgasm. She heaved into his mouth as he slowly kissed her, biting her lower lip gently.

 _Ben, I need you inside of me. Please_.

_Please what? Say it._

"Fuck me" 

He inhaled sharply.

_I thought you would say the other. Damn woman you must want me to hurt you. You know what that word does to me._

She smiled in a sexy way that made him insane. "Fuck.....me.....now" she growled at him.

He lifted her and thrusted into her with all of the strength he had in him. She screamed but immediately met his thrust.

The water sloshed out everywhere but neither cared. He thrust up over and over as she ground down into him. Her breasts were bouncing in his face and he grabbed one, sucking violently on her nipple as she screamed again and again, his name repeating over and over in his ears. All he could do was speak to her over their Dyad, his mouth consumed with her breasts.

 _Holy Fuck Rey_ _you make me lose my mind....._

Over and over they moved as one, like a machine. They knew what the other needed, instinctively. They both felt it building and building as they climbed together towards an epic orgasm. One that they both desperately needed. She pulled herself into his body, digging her nails into his back, saying his name in desperate gasps. He felt her tighten and clench his cock harder than she had in months. He clamored to hang on, determined to let her reach her climax first. And she did, unable to think, to breathe and she felt him reach places inside her that he hadn't in a long time, too long.

She took a deep shattering breath and screamed her husband's name, dragging it out loud and long, digging her hips into him.

"BENNNNNN!!!!"

 _Reyyyyy_ _, I can't......_

He couldn't hold back. He poured into her, shuddering and jerking and gasping her name out loud. She melted into him, feeling like a puddle, an amazing puddle of ecstasy and passion. He slid down further into the water, her body laying on his. He realized he needed to lock his knees or drown both of them, the water only an inch from their faces.

"I really really like this tub now Ben"

  
"Hmm? Oh yeah, this was kinda what I envisioned when I put it in"

"My legs are going numb"

"Oh, oh" he slid up quickly, realizing her legs were pinned under him. The remaining water sloshed out all over the floor. She lifted up off his chest, laughing.

"You made a huge mess"

"Yeah well, it's your fault woman. You used that _word._ You should've known what would happen"

She pushed his hair back off of his face, grinning.

"What word? Oh you mean _fuck me_ "

"Okay stop, you wore me out"

"Alright but later on can you _fuck me_ again? _Please...."_

She slowly kissed him, pressing her breasts against him, pushing him backwards, giggling a low seductive giggle.

"Get out, get up, you are going to be the death of me woman"

She stood up, over the top of him, water pouring down her nude body. His eyes landed right between her legs, where he could see she was still swollen from the encounter they'd just had. His cock pulsated.

"Like what you see, Jedi?"

He tried to move towards her, intent on burying his face _there._ Suddenly his legs cramped up.

"Move, move, ow, shit, ow, cramp...."

She jumped out, laughing.

He groaned in pain "You..are..mean"

"Oh come on, you big baby" she reached and pulled on him, helping him get out. He sat on the side, stretching out his leg. She rubbed it for him, working her strong fingers into the muscles, undoing the knots she found. He sighed in relief and smiled, reaching for her. She turned and tried to run but he pulled her into his lap, tickling her ribs. She laughed and fought him.

"This is what you get, you tease"

"Stop!! Stop!!" She shrieked in giggles

"Say you're sorry! Say it!" He held her in his lap as she squirmed against him. He felt himself growing hard again as her bare ass rubbed on him. He stopped tickling her and pulled her roughly into him.

She gasped as she felt him against her rear.

"Are you too sore?" He whispered into her neck

"Never too sore for you Ben" she answered, lifting up and taking him inside of her. He groaned and grabbed both of her breasts.

_I'll be still, you do it Rey. I know you are sore._

_Do what Ben? Say it...._

_Fuck me baby, into oblivion...._

She growled and ground her hips into him, almost making him come too fast. She moved slowly, feeling every inch of him. They went on forever until both came together, groaning and moaning, exhausted but so content. She leaned back against him, laying her head on his shoulder.

"This is amazing" she told him

"You are amazing. How the hell did I get you?"

"Sheer luck, Solo. And chasing me all over the galaxy, you stalker" she laughed

"I tried to tell you for months, you stubborn woman"

"And what did I tell you? My way or no way"

"I was the idiot Rey, I know"

She turned in his lap and he held her close, grabbing her towel and wrapping her in it.

"I wanted you so bad. I knew we were meant to be. I longed for you Ben. You weren't an idiot. We've already talked about that. We had everything against us. I just should've told you from the beginning whose hand I wanted"

He let go of her with one hand and took hers in his, his long fingers threading through hers.

"I'm so glad you stabbed me, Rey. Took impalement to wake me up"

"Ewww don't say that anymore, that's creepy" she laughed, sliding off his lap and standing up, wrapping the towel around herself. She leaned over and kissed him.

"I love you. Forever"

"I love you too Rey. Forever"

"Can I please shave my other leg now? And no, Praetorian Guards are not the same as a straight razor. Now get out of here. Go get me some water I'm parched from all this.....love making" she smiled with a wink.

He was too gloriously weak to walk to the kitchen. He made it to the bed and found her glass, still half full from earlier. He took it to her, watching her shave the other leg. She gulped it down and told him to go lie down. He stumbled back to their bed and collapsed face down, falling asleep almost immediately.

She walked to the bed finding this gorgeous man sound asleep. She felt the need to take care of him. She thought of the awful knots in his legs, knowing she didn't get them completely massaged out. She crawled up onto him, starting at his shoulders and working down to his calves, taking time to find each one and massage it out.

"Mmmmm, Rey, you don't have to....."

"Shhhh, relax" she admonished him, giving him a soft slap on his ass cheek, then stopping to massage it too.

"If I wasn't so tired I'd make love to you again you sexy thing" he said with a sigh

"Shhhh I told you, we have all night"

He mumbled something about being too old for this and what was he thinking marrying a woman ten years younger than him before falling asleep again.

She finished and laid next to him, covering them with a blanket and cuddled up next to him, wrapping one leg and one arm around him. She was also asleep within seconds, so happy she had a smile on her face as she slept. She loved him intensely, with all of her being.

They woke up hours later, in the middle of the night and made slow love to each other, eyes locked, speaking intimate words across their Dyad. It was a perfect night, just lost in each other's eyes and one connecting soul. They fell back to sleep, arms and legs intertwining.

Theirs was a love for the ages, nothing could separate them.  
  



	8. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey experience a haunting nightmare....

The children….

No, not the children…..

Rey watched many children screaming, begging, crying…...

Terror was in the air….

Mothers screaming….begging….

Fathers being slashed and shot…..

It was hell alive and breathing…

A flash of red hair….

"Take them all!!!!" He yelled….

The children fought, scrapped, clawed…

The mothers fainted….the fathers fought...and were slain where they stood

Entire families destroyed…

Mothers screaming "COME BACK!!"

Rey woke up screaming. Ben awoke, sweat pouring down his face and body. They immediately reached for each other, hearts racing in tandem. 

"BEN!! NO!!" Rey screamed, unable to breathe, tears pouring, she grabbed for her saber, ready to cut down whoever dared touch these precious children.

Ben grabbed his bride "It was a dream Rey. It was a dream. Shhhhh….." he held her, stroking her back, trying to calm her even though he was shaking all over. 

What was that? He thought to himself, blocking her from hearing his thought.

Their connection was strong and helped regulate their breathing back into sync. Their heartbeats beat slower, together. Always the same rhythm. When his beat, hers beat with it. Always. One heart in two bodies.

"Ben, what happened? I had a horrible dream" she whispered, her face buried in his chest. She was holding onto him with desperation, knowing he would always protect her. 

He held her away from his face, in clear shock, looking for peace in her hazel eyes.

He saw confusion, chaos, like a reflection of his own. 

"So did I Rey. Children? Taken?"

They both had the same dream. At the same time.

"Ben, what does this mean? Was this...the dark side?"

The dark side had ebbed away from them for many years. It knew it had lost. He had finally found peace. He was stronger in the force than he had ever been. But he knew it. He knew it as well as he knew the colors in his wife's eyes.

"Yes, Rey, it was. But don't be afraid. Fear is the worst choice to make when confronted with the dark side. Fear feeds it. I don't know why we both dreamed that, especially at the same time"

Ben was not letting his wife feel what he knew.

There was a deep disturbance. And the force wanted both of them to feel it. 

He would get to the bottom of this but for now, his priority was Rey. He held her until he felt her body settle into him and her breaths become smooth and deep

He laid there, trying to meditate on the force, searching, feeling for any disturbance. His girls were not under his roof so he reached for them. He felt their Force signatures. He saw two peaceful streams, flowing alongside each other. He knew that they were safely asleep. 

He went further out, into the village surrounding his children. It was quiet.

Further out into the surrounding forest and nearby lake. He saw nothing of concern. 

The skies above Driea were at their usual state. No sight of oncoming ships that may cause trouble.

He lifted up into the atmosphere, searching the space around his planet. His home of six years. He had become quite attached to this place. He'd defend it and it's people like he would his own family. He frequently used the force to ensure there were no enemies with ill intent trying to approach. Driea was a haven of peace and he intended to keep it that way.

He found stillness and felt much better.

Wherever, whatever that was they dreamed about, it wasn't nearby.

But it was clearly Hux and the First Order.

As Ben laid there, the reality of what it was hit him.

Hux was stealing children to build his future army of Stormtroopers. He had reignited the old ways. 

Ben drifted back. Back to when he himself was the leader of the most evil army in the galaxy. 

Kylo hated slavery. It was what had destroyed the person who Anakin loved the most in his life. Shmi Skywalker. His own great grandmother. 

Anakin was held as a slave from birth as was Shmi. She died a slave, forever altering everything.

Kylo Ren stood his ground. No more kidnappings. No more brainwashing children. 

There were over a million Stormtroopers in the First Order at the time of Kylo's reign. That was plenty. 

It was a great source of contention between him and the incessant brat that was Hux. He was always complaining that Kylo could not adequately rule while so attached to his ancestors. And that "girl".

He was right about the girl part. Except she wasn't a girl. She was a miracle of a woman. A woman from the deserts of Jakku that had within her the ability to change the course of the galaxy and the man who was destroying it. She was his saving grace. 

He watched the silhouette of her face lying next to him as she seemed to be peacefully resting. He reached into her mind to make sure. He saw two hands. One small and one awkwardly large. Their fingers touched. Rey smiled and sighed in her sleep. 

He kissed her forehead and took her small hand in his, lacing his fingers through hers and tried to sleep. But it never came.

Ben knew a battle was brewing. He felt it. Were six years of peace and happiness enough? He should've known that a man like himself wouldn't be allowed to rest forever, not with the dark side always lurking. It would always look for him. At one point, he thought he could pretend that he wasn't who he was. He tried to change who he was, deny it. It chased him, reminding him that it would just take what he loved. It would take her, unless he learned how to control it. And it almost did. It almost took him and her. But he stood up and became his rightful self. 

He became Ben Solo, son of Leia Organa Skywalker Solo, grandson of Anakin Skywalker. 

He became a true Jedi. No more doubts, no more anger, no more fear. He became strong in the Force.

But aside from whose son he was, whose grandson he was, that wasn't where the bulk of his strength came from. The title that mattered the most were the ones Rey gave him. 

Husband. Father. 

Rey Solo gave him all that he really needed. 

Was it enough? He had now been shown two times that the shift in the force was indeed The First Order regaining strength. It was only a matter of time before it grew and grew, like evil vines reaching and growing. Twisting and turning. Eventually, unmatched, it would reach here, to his home.

Hux knew that there were planets untouched by the First Order. He wanted it all. He and Snoke had discussed going further out into the outer rim. Kylo was never as interested. He wanted solid power over what they had already conquered. He knew the more they tried to control, the easier it would be for rebels to rise up. 

Looking back, he felt good knowing there were certain places untouched by evil. He knew what he was. He knew what Hux was. He especially knew what Snoke was. 

Wanting to leave some planets at peace was something he'd hidden deep deep inside. Snoke would have mocked him for such silliness. 

Ben felt at times perhaps these thoughts were from someone else's past. Not his. 

That life was from another era. Not his own. 

But as he held his wife, his warrior, he knew that life was going to rear its ugly head. Soon. 


	9. Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Space Lovers have a major decision to consider.. ...
> 
> The theme song for this song is "We Are One" by Kelly Sweet.

Ben finally dozed off after deep meditations. Many hours later, he awoke to an empty bed. He could tell by the way the sunlight drifted in that it was near midday.

"Hey sleepyhead"

Rey stood near the end of the bed, casually folding and putting away their clothing. She looked stunning with her hair fixed up. Her lips were a deep red, colored by a lipstick she had mentioned she had always desired. He had acquired it for her by trading work with a villager who knew someone from Canto Bight. She even had her little dangle earrings on that Ben had given her on their third anniversary. He loved doting on her, this former scavenger who never had anything growing up.

Ben had grown up surrounded by women who were used to and expected such treasures. Even his own mother, a twice over princess, was quite used to the finer things. He never tired of seeing Rey's eyes light up at such small things. She always fussed at him, which made him want to do it more. So he did.

She was wearing a thin black robe tied at the waist. It barely covered her rear end, he noticed as she turned away to walk across the room. He loved her in black, his favorite color. He wondered what she was wearing under it. He loved that she had dolled herself up. That lipstick would look great smeared all over her face. He sat up, locking his fingers behind his head and smiling wide.

"Good morning gorgeous, you look amazing"

"Thought I'd get pretty for you" she smiled and walked around the bed to sit next to him.

"There's no improving perfection" he said, kissing her. She crawled into his lap and straddled him. He was disappointed that she had not pulled the sheet off of him first.

"Now, how is it that you used to just screw up every time you spoke to me and now you are so smooth and charming?"

"What do you think happened?" He asked, slowly untying her robe.

"I think that your Dad was a legend when it came to smooth talking. The apple doesn't fall far....."

His hands fell away from the knot she had tied very tightly.

"Why'd you bring my Dad up? That just....now I can't strip you" he pouted  
dramatically.

"Solos are drama queens, you know that?"

She laughed loudly and untied the robe herself, spreading it open with a sexy flourish, tossing her hair around her shoulders.

"There, does that help you get your mind back on track?"

Just as he'd hoped, she was nude underneath.

"Um, yeah.....worked like a charm"

He ran his hands over her full breasts, taking in every inch of her body.

Ben stuttered, "Aren't you tired?"

"Yes, very much so but I figure you aren't since you slept so late. And it won't require much energy on my part to have your head between my legs this morning"

He inhaled sharply. Kriff, the woman had a way with words. He thrusted up at her slightly.

"Um, yeah, wow damn Rey, you just, um...yeah"

She smiled sexily at him and giggled "You speechless there?"

"Damn baby"

She threw her head back and laughed at him. She loved messing with him. He was always so arrogant and she loved that she could deem him speechless from time to time.

_You deem me speechless daily, Rey_

She stroked his chest and threw words back at him.

_Make love to me with that amazing mouth_

He wanted to do it, oh and how. He was torn between making her writhe with pleasure and wondering why she didn't seem to remember the dream they'd both had.

He knew he'd regret his choice.

"Rey, babe, um, yeah, I can do that, oh believe me, I will do that, but um, do you remember last night?"

She laid down on top of him, kissing his chest slowly, wiggling her way up his body.

"Which part? When you were on top? Or when I was? Or when I was bent...."

He groaned and wrapped his arm around her, tossing her to the side. He had to talk to her and damn, if she made it hard to focus. This was one reason he loved her, she could wipe every worry away with a touch of her hand.

"Reyyyyyy.....listen.... I'm being serious"

"Ugh, what is it? I just want to love on you"

She threw her leg over his hip and tried her best to distract him again.

He jumped up to get away from her. She pouted her lip out and he found himself wanting to bite that lip. He instead turned away and grabbed his undershorts, pulling them on and sitting far away from her.

"Rey! Listen! Last night, we both had the same dream. Don't you remember? I hate to make you think about it"

She sat up, pulling her robe closed and rubbing her red lips together.

"No, I guess I don't remember. Why are you so upset? We dream together all the time. What is it about this one.....oh"

"You remember it?"

"Children. There were children Ben. Not ours, thank the force. Screaming. Oh, it was terrible. Ben, yes, I do feel it now"

She jumped up, alarmed.

"Ben, what was that? A shift? The Darkness...oh it's been so long since I felt....I did not miss this at all"

Suddenly, panic in her eyes.

"Ben! The girls!"

He stood and took her in his arms.

"They are okay, I reached out for them last night after I woke up. They are fine"

Relief washed over her face.

"I wish our connection with them was constant, like you and I"

"That's not how it works with them, babe. You and I are a Dyad. We are very lucky. I can't imagine not feeling you constantly....but I can feel their Force signatures.....I guess I'm glad they are force sensitive, for now anyways"

"Ben, something is wrong and we have to do something about it"

This was his struggle all night. He knew she would want to. She was a fixer. Always wanting to fix the wrongs in the galaxy. It was how he came to love her but also the reason she scared the shit out of him. He wished now he had not reminded her of the dream.

"Ben....I would've remembered eventually"

"Rey, I can't.....I can't take the risk. You are all I have. You and Driea and Leiliana. This is our life now. I can't. I'm not strong enough anymore. Before, you weren't completely mine yet. But even then....."

He turned away, exasperated.

"Rey, that's why I came to Exegol. Even though you weren't sure of me, I had to protect you. I wanted to take you out of danger! And I couldn't! And you died Rey! But, here, here we are safe. I cannot let you go back out into the galaxy and put yourself on the line! No!"

She came around and stood in front of him, grabbing his face with both hands and forcing him to look at her.

"First off, I've been completely yours way before Exegol, okay? Secondly, I don't think it's just me that is being called. We both are. Ben, you are a warrior. You are the best fighter pilot in the galaxy and are skilled in everything the Resistance needs to defeat Hux and save those innocent children!"

He looked down at her, looking even older than his 35 years, his arms down by his sides.

"I'm not that man anymore. This is where I want to be. With you, with our children. Not out there. Not fighting. This is where I was always supposed to be. Just a man, just yours, just theirs"

She wrapped her arms around his waist, settling her cheek on his chest.

"Ben, you are so good to me"

He set his chin on top of her head, hugging her tight.

"I will spend my entire life making up to you that first year. I wish you'd not make out like I'm some damn great man. I've been a monster and you try to pretend I haven't. Stop it"

She tried to pull her head out from under his chin to look him in the eye but he anticipated her and squeezed her tighter. She was forced to mumble fiercely at him while buried in his chest

"I'll say what I want. You are mine and I'll say what I want. There's nothing I can say or do to make you see yourself differently"

She twisted her way out of his grip. She tilted her head up to look him in the eye. He couldn't help but smirk at her rebellious nature.

"But right now, today, there are two little girls who think you are perfect and a village full of people who admire you. They wouldn't even tell Poe where you were because they are protective of you. You've done a great thing here. Will it make up for what Kylo did? No. But for today, it's what you've done and you will continue to make peace with yourself"

He knew she had an agenda. He knew her. He looked at her, unmoving.

"I'm not going to go fight with the Resistance. I've told you"

Her eyes went from hazel softness to green fire. She stared at him, arrows flying at him.

"Damn it!! Do you think it will stop at just one or two raids? He WILL come here, eventually. You KNOW what he's in search of! Force sensitive children! And we have two!"

He spun out of her grasp, storming across the room, landing a fist into the wall, busting his hand but not noticing the pain.

"NO REY!! HE WON'T COME HERE! I WILL KILL HIM BEFORE HE TOUCHES THEM!"

She flinched, not from fear, no, she was not afraid of him. He was her protector. Her literal Knight. She flinched from the overwhelming love inside of him, the protective love of those two black headed, beautiful little girls. She knew he'd rip apart whoever, whatever would even dare think of touching them.

This was her Knight. Her warrior. And she was eagerly, desperately in love with him for it.

But she knew, she KNEW. The only one who could stop Hux was his greatest enemy, the former Supreme Leader. Her husband. She knew if, IF, he saw sense and took on this task, she'd be terrified. She also knew he was the best and he wasn't some twisted, sick, egotistical monster anymore. He was a strong man. A Jedi. The last one and the strongest one ever, at least to her.

He was strong in the Force and could overcome the evil that was the rising, rebuilding First Order.

But only he could make that decision.


	10. Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben doesn't want to give up his perfect life....the one he thought he'd never have.

She approached him tentatively, kissing his bare back between his shoulder blades. Her hands gingerly laid on his arms, sliding down to grasp both of his hands. He pulled her arms around himself, sighing. She always knew how to calm him down. 

_Ben….I'm sorry….I love you….you know that right?_

He lifted her hand, still clasped in his, turned it and kissed her knuckles.

_I'm not mad at you Rey._

He turned around, pulling her into his chest, his nose in her hair, breathing her in. She smelled like his safety. His home. She was his home. 

_It's amazing how you think I'm the answer to everything. But I'm not. I'm not the answer Rey. Quit putting me on a pedestal._

"I will always put you on a pedestal" she whispered into his chest.

"We can't fix this Rey, let them do it" he whispered back to her.

"Okay Ben, I'll drop it"

 _For now_ , she thought to herself.

_You forgot to keep me from hearing that Rey_

She looked up, realizing he heard that, only to see him smirking. She kissed his chin.

"What are you smiling at?"

"You"

"Why?"

"Cause you are so cute, with your cunning. Now, let me smear that lipstick, our date night is ending and I need you"

He reached under her black robe and grabbed her bare ass, lifting her. She gripped his hair, pulling it the way he liked as she wrapped her legs around him.

He walked to the wall and put her on it. She slid his shorts down with her hands and he entered her, causing her to let out a sound, half in pain and half in lust for him. She wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for days. 

He intended on going slowly until she spoke. 

"Harder Ben, please" she begged, biting his neck roughly. He gasped.

"Kriff Rey, you will leave marks on me"

"Good, those women in the village look at you too much. I'll remind them you are MINE"

 _Her jealousy is so fucking sexy,_ he thought as he drove into her harder. She screamed out his name.

 _You forgot to keep me from hearing you,_ she spoke into his mind

"You like that? Me being jealous?" she gasped the words into his ear. 

"I do. Force yes I do" he spoke low and long, pulling back and thrusting again, eliciting another scream from her.

She bit down on his neck, sucking hard, ensuring another mark. She used her nails to leave claw marks on his shoulders.

_Make sure they see this too. Let them know I'm the only one who gets to kiss you, to touch you, to fuck you._

"Reyyyyy…..you are going to make me come talking like that and I want to make you come baby"

He continued to pound into her, relishing her teeth and nails sinking into his skin.

She held onto him, unable to talk over the amazing feeling of him grinding into her.

_You made me come three times last night with that mouth of yours, remember? Remember me coming in your mouth? Did you like that?_

"Reyyyyyy....." He groaned at the memory of it.

He drove into her over and over as she dug and clawed and bit and sucked, speaking into his mind how he was hers and hers only, how she wanted the women to see that she had marked him and possessed him. It drove him over the edge and he came in her, gasping her name. 

They slid down the wall. She loved that even though he was spent, he never dropped her, lowering her gently to the floor. He kneeled over her, kissing her deeply and fully. 

"Think you made your point? Kriff woman, I think I'm bleeding"

"Good, you deserve it, you can't seem to keep your shirt on, ever. So now they can see my marks while they lust all over you"

He laughed at her. "Well damn baby I'm hot on top of those houses"

She stayed wrapped around him, not wanting their alone time to end yet.

"I get hot too, maybe I should go topless in public also" she said, smiling up at him.

"All the men would love that and then I'd have to kill them all" he said, suddenly falling back to dodge her attacking him. 

"You are so frustrating!" she mocked anger, trying to hurt him. He grabbed both wrists, pulling her with him. She landed on top of him and they both laid there, just happy to be together. She lifted her head, her chin on his chest, smiling. 

"Well, it was nice while it lasted, huh babe?"

He rubbed her back, enjoying the uninterrupted time with her. 

"Yeah, I think we should do this more often, do you think she'd mind?"

"No, she loves them to pieces. I'll talk to her"

She rolled off of him, standing up then sitting down quickly on the bed.

"Ow" she said, feeling the muscles inside her throb.

He stood, looking concerned.

"I'm sorry"

"Most men would be proud to make their woman sore"

"Well I'm not most men, will a bath help?"

"Come to think of it, yeah, it would"

_Don't argue with me Rey, I'm carrying you._

He swooped her up and walked to the tub. She laughed at his sweetness then relaxed into his chest. This man was too good to her. 

He settled her into the tub and used the force to turn the water on, walking away quickly.

_Now I'm leaving before I get back in there with you._

She laughed, throwing her robe off before the water could reach it. She settled into the tub, sighing, remembering the night they just shared, minus the argument.

She took her time soaking and then got out, wrapping a towel around herself. She would have to take something for the pain. 

But it was so worth it.

After taking the medication, she sat and contemplated the dream, as much as she hated to. She had felt such a pull to DO something. 

She walked to her hiding spot and pulled out Poe's communicator. She held it, knowing once she spoke to Poe, things would change. Ben would be so angry. Beyond kisses-would-calm-him angry. 

She clicked the comlink several times before hearing a familiar voice.

"Rey, are you okay?"

"Yes Poe, is it safe to talk?"

"Yes, I encrypted these comlinks only to each other"

"You mean to tell me you carry a special one around just for me?"

"All the time Rey. You are my best friend. I told you I'd be there if you needed me. Are you sure you are okay?"

She smiled. Poe was always so kind to her. 

"Yes Poe I'm okay. Poe, I felt something, the force gave me a dream. Children?"

"Yes Rey, children"

"How many?"

"We are trying to get the numbers but we know at least 150 so far, maybe more"

She couldn't breathe.

"Poe….did you say…."

"Yes Rey, 150. Listen, I've got to go. Are you thinking of helping?"

"Poe, you need him, not me"

"Why?? No Rey"

"Yes Poe!! He knows how this works!! You can't have both of us. You need him more. You know I'm right"

"Just come here. Bring him too, I guess"

"You know we both can't come and you know why"

"Rey, it's safe here"

"For now! It's safer here! Look, just listen to me. You know who's more skilled. You know I'm right"

"He wants to?" Poe sounded like he doubted that

"Well, not exactly….I'm working on that"

"I've got to go Rey. Let me know if you want to come"

"I will Poe. I'll contact you soon. I miss you. And everyone"

"I miss you too. We all do. Oh guess what?

Guess who's together?"

"Oh oh who?" Rey loved gossip.

"Finn and Jannah"

"Finally!! I knew she was right for him. She understands him. How's Zorri?"

"You mean my fiance?"

Rey jumped up, squealing.

"REALLY??? REALLY?? You proposed?? How?? Where??"

She heard Poe laughing.

"I sent you a holovid. It should be there soon"

"Oh wow!! When is the wedding!! I've got to be there!"

"We don't know yet. I hope you'll be here before that. I really gotta go"

"Okay Poe. Hug everyone"

"I will"

And he was gone.

She was smiling from the good news but soon it was gone. 150 kids, taken.

She knew the Force wanted them to do something about it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. Rey of Jakku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey ponders her decision....

Rey's dilemma rips through the bond.

 _Spill it,_ she feels him say.

 _You know,_ she replies back, _you always know._

She hears him sigh.

 _When are you leaving?_ he asks, his thoughts coming through, shaking.

_I'm not going without you._

_And we aren't going because we aren't exposing them to that life._

That last response is spoken so firmly she knows he spoke it out loud.

_I know Ben. I know._

She pulls her thoughts away from him, needing space alone inside herself.

Now she's the one shaking. Anger overcomes her as she screams at the Force, demanding peace, demanding to know why, why them, why now.

"TELL ME!!!" she bellows, collapsing to the floor, shaking, sobbing.

She cannot bear to be apart from Ben Solo. She also knows why she must go.

_"Don't leave me!!!!" a child screams, arms being pulled by a massive creature,_ _Unkar_ _Plutt._

_"C'mon you little brat!!" he yells, no mercy for this child._

_"Come back!!!" she pleads, watching the ship grow smaller in the blue, unrelenting sky._

_Days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years. The child is held prisoner by Plutt. She could leave, yes, but Plutt feeds her, as long as she works, scavenges inside the machines. Where would she go, anyways? There's nothing, nowhere. She's nothing, no one. She's just a slave, fallen victim to her captor. Trapped._

She thinks of her girls, her beautiful girls, looking so much like her love, her Ben. They are free. They don't have the fear, the hopelessness she had. They don't have to toil just to eat. They are free. They have a mother and a father. Two parents to fiercely protect and nurture them. She sees them in her mind, running, jumping, climbing. They spend their days learning anything, everything, no holds barred. Rey and Ben place no limits on them. They learn to read, unlike most females. They hunt, fish, learn to shoot and skin an animal. They also learn to sew, to cook, to tend to their dolls, to braid hair and wear mommy's lipsticks.

Everything Rey dreamed of as a child, her girls have.

But out there, somewhere, children's dreams are shattered. They scream like Rey did, begging for their parents. They will never know peace. Not anymore. Their lives just became about slavery, brain washing, torture.

Rey remembers the cries of the mothers, knowing they will not see their children again. The children they carried in their wombs. Now they only have the memories.

Rey cannot imagine watching her children ripped from her arms.

Rey cries. She cries for the children, knowing their fear. She cries for the mothers, imagining their pain.

Many of these women are now widows, their husbands slain before their eyes, the only crime committed was trying to rescue their very own children.

Rey knows that she would also be a widow, she knows that her husband, baring any force powers or weapons, would be slain trying to save his children.

Almost like the thought of him called him into existence, she looks up to see him. Her Knight. Her love.

Ben had felt Rey's cries, her anger. He ran home and found his Rey sobbing on the floor, overcome by visions.

He gathers her up into his arms and sits holding her as she cries.

He knows why she cries. He knows why she feels the pull to go. He knows she will go.

He holds back his tears, his immense fear of living without her trying to swallow him whole.

When her tears slows, she sighs into his massive chest, burrowing her face into his shirt. Her fingers pushing into his stomach, feeling his muscles. She always feels so safe here. She rarely thinks of when she didn't, all those years ago, when she was alone and Ben Solo was just an unnamed whisper in her mind, pushing her forward.

She feels Ben's thoughts.

_You were in me too. An unnamed whisper telling me I wasn't completely lost. Telling me you were coming, one day._

"What did Poe say earlier?" he says in that much deeper voice that he uses when emotional.

She sits up in his lap.

"You know?"

"Yes my dear, I know. He told me"

"When? I was here. He snuck it to me. You weren't in the room. I saw you say goodbye to him right here"

"He sent me a message. He felt guilty leaving a comlink in my home like that. That guys going to get on my good side yet, dammit"

He grins that grin that she loves so much.

"Poe told me 150 children are missing. The Resistance is gathering names. There may be more"

She lowers her chin and sniffs, suddenly the weight of the situation on her shoulders.

He is holding tight to her and doesn't want to let go. He lowers his head to hers and nudges her to look up at him.

There it is. In her eyes. That fire.

"Wow, there she is. Rey of Jakku. I haven't seen you since Kef Bir"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

He smiles at her.

"That fire. I haven't seen that fire in your eyes since you said ' _Give It To Me'_ Do you remember that?"

She smiles and nods.

"This little woman looking up at me like she's a giant, hell bent on kicking my ass, saying ' _Give It To Me'_ with her sexy lips, in a deep sexy voice. She wasn't the least bit afraid. Green burning in eyes that kept me up at night. Skin sweating in anger, that same skin I wanted to touch and kiss. You were pissed, shaking all over, fucking my mind up. I never told you what those damn words did to me. It was just a good thing I had that damn tunic on. My hard on would've scared the shit out of you"

She bursts out laughing at him, head falling back. He always had a way of making her laugh, usually with his inappropriate sense of humor.

"Ben!! No, I didn't know that! I swear, everything I did turned you on. That was the last thing on my mind"

Then she smirks at him.

He narrows his eyes at her, playing right along with her.

_Liar. You knew what you were doing to me._

"Hey, all's fair in love and war" she winks.

"Well I won that war, I got you" he sighs and pulls her closer.

"I think we both won" she smiles.

"Rey, I'll miss you so much"

She sits up in his lap, alarmed.

"No Ben, I'm not going"

He takes her face in his hand and turns her to look at him.

"My sweet Rey. My sweet Jakuu Rey. My love who was held as a child slave. You've been called. The force calls you to go save those children. You know it. I know it. This is your calling"

She jumps up, shaking again, moving away from him, angry at his words.

"No!! No Ben!! It's not me! You are better than me at this! You are stronger and more experienced and you are a better fighter, pilot and saber! I won't go! I'm not....I can't....."

"Let me ask you this, Rey. If you had not ever left Jakku, if you were still there and the First Order came and took dozens of children, would you go hide? I know you wouldn't. My Rey, my sweet, sexy, funny, feisty Rey would fight. She'd use that quarterstaff....which I never got to see by the way....I'm kinda mad about that....that would turn me on so much.....I should have one made....."

Rey is laughing again at him as he smirks at her inappropriately. Then he's serious again.

"I won't make you stay. I won't make you go. I'll support you however you want. I wish I could go with you but we have other priorities. The Resistance doesn't want me, you know that. It would be hell between me and Poe. You know that. Rey...."

She turned to look at him.

"This is closer to you than to me. This is your calling"

She wraps her arms around herself, the green shining in her hazel eyes.

_You are my calling_

He goes to her, holding her, pressing his forehead against hers.

_This doesn't change that, Rey. This is just, what you need to do, for now. I'm still yours. I'm still your lover._

Her love for him is so overwhelming. This man, her former enemy, now her entire life, he saved her. In so many ways. She can't imagine being without him even one night.

_I can't be without you, my lover._

He presses a kiss on her head.

_We are never without each other Rey. I'm only a breath away. You breathe and I'm there. I never let go. I'm your Dyad._

"The children? How do I leave them? What do I tell them?"

"You tell them that Mama is going to go help some children who lost their mamas and papas and you will be back soon'

"But I don't want to be like.....you know....leaving my children for some 'great cause'. They are my great cause. I don't want to repeat history"

"Hey, listen, look at me Rey'"

He wraps his hand around her chin and locks eyes with her.

"You are not like that. You, you are so amazing. I love my mother, I do. But, you are heads above her. I'm not trying to say she didn't love me. I see it now but let's face it, she didn't listen, didn't see me. You SEE them. You've thrown everything you are into them. Hell, I'm jealous sometimes"

She kisses the palm of his hand, taking it in hers.

"You kick Han Solo's ass at fathering. They never wonder where you are. You've spoiled them. I told you that you would. You are so good with them"

He pulls her back into his chest, his breath hitching. Damn, he never used to cry.

I'm going to miss your face, Rey


	12. We Are One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey leaves her family behind to go back to The Resistance....
> 
> I have created a playlist for this fic. This chapter's theme song is "Like I'm Gonna Lose You" by Jasmine Thompson

"BenBenBenBen....." She pants.

_Rey....._

_Only you Ben...only you touch me like this...you own me...._

_Rey....._

_I belong to you Ben...You possess me...._

_Rey....._

_Please....take me there....in the way only you can...._

"BEN!!!"

Her climax is like his drug..her body...it belongs to him and only him....the way she screams his name...clawing at him...wrapping herself around him...not just her body but her very soul....her fingers....intersect between his....their hands above her head as they make love.

He loves being inside of her as she melts around him, her ankles locked behind his back as he slowly moves with her, in her, against her.....he bites and sucks down her collarbone, hearing her gasp again.

He brings her up into the heavens then back down, still not ready to stop. He determines to take her there again.

_I can't Ben, I'm so weak, what you do to me....I can't again..._

He smiles into her skin, whispering into her ear, sucking on her earlobe.

"Yes you can and you will, my exotic desert princess, come for me again"

"Ben....." she moans.

He lets go of her hands, sliding down her sweat drenched body, taking her nipple into his mouth, gently biting it between his teeth, rolling into her again and again, grabbing her thigh and pulling her gorgeous leg up, around his neck, going up on his knees, biting her calf, thrusting deeper into her.

He watches her face as her eyes roll into the back of her head, her mouth making sounds only he gets to hear.

_Are you mine? Are you mine Rey? Say it out loud...._

"YES!"

_Say it, say it all..._

"I'M YOURS BEN"

_I'm yours too baby_

His hand runs down her thigh. His fingers separate her soaking wet folds to find her clit and he strokes it, watching her as she bucks her hips up, her hands digging into the sheets as her back arches and she comes again. He can't hold back this time and he fills her with his seed, gasping her name, letting loose of her leg and collapsing onto his wife, catching himself with his elbows.

"Rey...." he breathes her name, catching her lips with his own, lovingly kissing her, rolling to his side, pulling her with him. She is limp, spent, exhausted in the best way.

_How do I sleep without you Ben?_

_How do I wake up without you Rey?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _Last night was amazing_ , she sighs, the ship now on auto pilot and she settles into the pilot's seat. She's so tired from their on and off love making all night. She needs a nap. Poe is asleep in the bunk somewhere in the back of the ship that he flew to come get her. She dozes on and off.

Saying goodbye to her husband was an all night affair, exquisite.

Leaving him earlier was sheer hell. She has not been apart from him in years. She had to use force powers not to break down and cry. He had to do the same.

Violet had come to be with her that morning, promising that she would help Ben as much as he'd let her.

Rey had spent hours with her girls, trying to explain why she was leaving. They were strong one minute, crying the next. But they were excited about spending time with their Papa. He promised that they could come work with him. He enjoyed teaching them carpentry skills along with guiding them in their meditations, leading them in their Force skills. He told Rey that he would focus on growing Driea's abilities. He was aware that they were strong in the Force and he was fascinated with what they could be capable of.

Violet took them with her, allowing Ben and Rey one last night together before she left. It was even better than the last time they were alone all night. Ben prepared Rey's favorite meal and they enjoyed it together at their waterfall. He had insisted on training with her for a while. He wanted to reassure himself that she wasn't too rusty. They sparred and parried together, sabers moving like an orchestra, a dance that began many years before. It was a dance that only they understood.

_I missed this, you biting that lip, concentrating so hard. Show me that fire in those eyes._

He pushed her back with his moves, making her angry.

_There it is, green fire. Wow, this brings back memories....Kef Bir...._

_Stop it...._

_Ahhhh, I saw that....so I looked hot walking out of that wave?_

She stumbles back and lands on her ass. He was over her, lightsabers clashing, her using all of her strength to hold him back.

"Damn it Ben! Stop reading me!"

He laughs, watching her face glow in the light of their sabers. He can't help it, he pushes her harder, leaning over her.

"Say it, say I looked hot"

"No!! Get off of me!!"

"Not till you say it"

She pushes with everything in her. Her brute strength not enough to overcome him. But with the Force....

She threw him back with just a thought. Then he was on his ass, laughing.

"Cheater!!"

Both disengage their sabers and she attacks him, determined to hurt him. She manages to bite his neck, HARD.

"Ow!!!! Mean woman!!"

He rolls, taking her with him, pinning her to the ground, digging his face into her hair, searching for her neck to seek revenge.

"This is NOT why we came out here!!" she screams at him, fighting him.

He is unsuccessful at his revenge and rolls back, still hanging onto her. Then she is sprawled on top of him and he possessively holds her, both gasping from their wrestling match.

"Yes" she gasps, wrapping her arms around his body, relaxing into him, feeling him, already missing him.

"Yes what?" he pulls her further up, his face in her hair.

"Yes you were hot walking out of that damn water, are you happy now?"

"Maybe we should go back and recreate that"

"Hell no, that was too damn scary and next time I might lose you in those waves. What the hell were we thinking? That was incredibly dangerous"

"We are dangerous Rey, that's just who we are"

She feels tears coming.

"Shhhh....don't cry baby. I told you, I'm always with you. Just a thought away, always"

"Hold me tighter Ben"

_Force, help me......_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rey stirs, waking up in the pilot's chair. Poe had asked her why she was so tired. She didn't dare tell him why she hadn't slept much. Hell, he'd know soon enough, he'd be married.

Poe shifts quietly next to her.

"Oh, damn, I dozed off. Sorry"

"Go take a nap, sleepyhead. I got it"

"No, just swap with me. I haven't seen you. Talk to me. Tell me about the proposal. I guess the holovid didn't make it to me in time. Where did you do it?"

"You know that cliff? The one overlooking the trees? There"

"Oh yes! It's so pretty there! Good place. What did you say?"

"Oh, hell, I don't know, some romantic stuff that Jannah helped me come up with. It's weird, I'm all smooth and shit most of the time, then with her I'm just a fucking mess"

Rey laughs.

"Yeah, I saw that for myself on Kimjii. She's the one huh? Wow Poe. I'm so happy for you'

He walks into the galley and returns with fresh caf for them both.

"Aw you remembered how I like my caf"

"Rey, are you going to be okay? I'm asking as your general and your friend. I need you but I care about you too. If you get there and can't stay, I won't be mad. I just want to say that"

She sighs. She was trying to keep the conversation off of herself.

"Poe...just.... it's.....hey, I'm here, okay? Just, I'm trying not to think about it"

"Rey.....don't do this for me"

"It's not for you! I can't, I can't bear NOT doing anything...you know? I mean, I know what it's like to be ripped from my parents arms Poe"

She can't say anything else. Not without falling apart.

"I'm sorry Rey. You know I'd never upset you on purpose"

She takes a deep shuddering breath.

"I haven't gone one day without him in six years Poe. I know you don't understand"

He reaches over and grabs her knee.

"Hey, I know you and him have something that I don't get but I know what it's like to be away from the person you love. I didn't see Zorri for years"

"I can do this Poe. I can. I'll miss the girls too. But I can do this"

"If I thought you couldn't, I wouldn't have bugged the shit out of you to help me. I mean, I'm no massive brick wall of a tree looking thing you married but I'm here if you need me"

She laughs. Poe flashes his signature smile at her.

"He's not a tree! Well, yeah, I guess he is, kinda. The girls certainly think so"

"The man's a freak of nature Rey, I mean, damn. What is he? 6'2?"

"6'3"

"Damn, where the fuck did he get that from?"

"His grandfather"

"Oh, that's lovely, Darth-fucking-Vader's grandson, The Tree, is married to my best friend. Lovely"

She laughs again at her crazy friend.

He winks at her, turning towards the controls.


	13. General Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe rekindle their friendship.

Poe and Rey were quiet for a while. Rey would let out little sighs and fidget even more than usual. Poe stole sideways glances at her, worried. 

"Listen, I wanted to tell you, I'm promoting you. Your official title is General Solo"

Her mouth fell open. He must be crazy.

"What the? No, Poe. I haven't done shit to earn that. I haven't even been there!"

"The hell you haven't. You saved us all, remember? And no, you haven't been there but why is that a problem? You were on sabbatical"

"Sabbatical?? Is that what you told everyone? That's hilarious. More like I ran off with our number one enemy to go have his babies! Oh shit! Do they know???"

"No"

"POE!!!!"

"Well, what did you want me to do?? I thought it was 'classified' information!"

"Shit! So I'm just supposed to waltz up in there and say 'Hi I'm General Solo! Yes, as in GENERAL MRS BEN SOLO' as in I MARRIED OUR WORST ENEMY and now I'm your new boss?"

"Yep, something like that"

Poe turned to her. 

"Look, you let me deal with it. You just do what I need you to do. I'll cover for you. I need you to be taken seriously. I also DON'T need them to make you some mystical Jedi, our-secret-weapon, like last time. That pressure was ridiculous"

"First off, you are right. It WAS fucking hard to be "The Last Jedi with the power to save us all". That's partly why I ran to Ben. He understood me. Not that you didn't Poe. It's just…...yeah….I can't handle that pressure again"

She then balled her fists.

"Secondly, NO. You will NOT 'cover for me' with everyone. You are NOT explaining the last six years of my life for me. I will. If people have a problem with me marrying Ben, they can fuck off"

With that, her emotions rolled up. Anger became tears. 

Poe placed his hands on her knees.

"You okay there sport?" He asked gently.

"Yeah, just tired. And I miss my family"

He leaned back, smiling.

"What? Why are you smiling?"

"Look at you. When I met you, you were alone. Had no one. Now you have a family. 

Listen, I meant nothing against Ben. Dammit, I can't believe I'm saying this but I am proud of his tree-looking-ass. He's made you happy and he's helping your little planet and he's a good father" he points at Rey, "don't you DARE tell him I said that"

Rey smiled at her friend. She was so overwhelmed by all of this. It never occurred to her the repercussions she might face from marrying THE Kylo Ren. 

She missed him already. Ben, Kylo, either way, he was her life. Her galaxy. She'd never be ashamed of him. 

"We have a lot of new recruits that don't know you Rey. They know of you. I need them to know from day one that you are in charge. I need them to respect you. That's one reason I am giving you that rank. Also because I want me, you and Finn to be co-generals. I need leadership. I don't know how the fuck Leia did this"

Her opinions of her mother in law ran in and out of her head. Poe didn't need to hear how Rey sometimes felt about how Leia "did this".

Because in running the Resistance, her son was cast to the side. 

Poe added new information.

"Rey….I don't know if I should say this. I can see how anxious you are so I may have good news. Please don't get pissed at me later on if I'm wrong, K?"

"What now?"

"I anticipate that this mission may be very short lived. If I'm right, you could be back home in a month"

"Really Poe?"

"Right before I left, we got word of where the children are being kept. I assumed the kids were being kept on the only star destroyer that remains"

"I thought all of the destroyers were at Exegol"

"No, one never made it there. This we've seen for ourselves. It's been six years, I'm sure there's at least one new ship by now. So, two Destroyers. Maybe more. As our fleet grows, we can reconnaissance out and know for sure"

"So the children have been located?"

"We have allies on an outer rim planet that sent word of at least 50 children being kept on a compound"

"How did they look? Did they say?"

"They seemed to be well taken care of but not allowed to leave, not like a school, you know? The children are not coming and going. They definitely are required to stay there. No one seems to be coming to visit either, like you'd see at a boarding school. My allies had to observe for quite some time before they put two and two together. That's why I was just told. Matter of fact, it was right as I was leaving to come to Driea"

"At least they aren't being starved. Or beaten. Ben will be glad to know that, he was always against slavery. Snoke or Hux neither one cared what Ben, um, Kylo thought. He hated it because of his grandfather being a slave" She continued,

"He found out I had been Plutt's slave before. Kylo was going to go kill Plutt for me, Poe, to try to win me over. This was when I was on Ahch-To. He was going but Snoke caught him"

"Wow Rey"

"I know"

"Don't send him any messages about this, it's classified, someone could see it"

"Poe…." she gave him a look.

"Oh. Yeah. That psychic thing you two have, I guess that's okay"

She rolled her eyes "Force connect"

"Yeah, that"

"Poe, why didn't you ask Ben to come?"

He blinked in confusion "Um, why do you think I should?"

"Poe! He's the best fighter pilot!"

He leaned back, crossing his arms, smirking at her in amusement.

"I thought you said I was the best"

"Stop it! You are so jealous. You AND Ben are the best. Equally"

Still smirking, teasing her he added "You mean that? I bet you think he's better" 

"Well, I'm kinda partial….sorry"

"Shut up already, I can't even have that? Now he's the best fighter pilot TOO?"

"Poe! You need him! He was the best in the First Order. Plus, trained by the great Han Solo AND he's a great saber fighter"

She added that last part and sighed. Poe rolled his eyes.

"Quit gushing already! Damn! What is he NOT good at? I bet you can't name anything" he added, laughing.

"He's a complete idiot" she said, rolling her eyes. 

At this, Poe doubled over, laughing.

"What? How?"

"He's so…..ugh!! He's always saying the wrong thing! He sticks his foot in his mouth, all the time. He leaves messes everywhere! He drives me nuts. He really does"

Poe is still laughing, "Me and him may have more in common than I realize"

"Poe, seriously, you need him. He's good. And he knows how Hux thinks. Ben wants to see the First Order shut down"

"Wait, what now? He said that to you?" 

"But he wants to see us shut down too Poe"

"Why?"

"He thinks each planet should govern themselves, he doesn't agree with one inter-planetary government. You forget, he comes from a family of politicians. It's in his blood"

"I'd love to sit and talk with him about it"

Rey beams "Maybe you could ask him to come help?"

"So, both of you would be there? What about Driea and Leiliana?"

"I'd have to go home, we agreed to keep their lives as normal as possible. Ben was never in one spot for very long as a child. He lived... everywhere but nowhere"

"I can't give you up for him Rey. I mean, I know you are right. He's good. If he hadn't been, we wouldn't have run from him for years. But you….I know you. I know how you fly, how you fight. Besides, do you really think Ben could answer to me? Really Rey? You think former Kylo Ren could take orders from Poe Dameron?"

He leaned over and took Rey's hand 

"Listen, I know you love him. I've had to realize that. You are an even better person now. You were great before, don't get me wrong. But now, you are happier. You didn't have your sense of purpose before. Hell, sweetheart, you didn't even have a last name. Before you were a 19 year old young woman who had no stability, ever. Now you are…..you glow now, Rey"

He looked at the floor, shaking his head, not wanting to admit what he was about to say. He looked up 

"It's because of him. All that shit before," he waves his hand up over his head, then grabs her hand again, "I think was all a big misunderstanding that fortunately worked out"

He sighed, "You should've went with him after he killed Snoke"

She smiled and a tear went down her cheek. She closed her eyes, remembering.

"Yes I should have, I didn't know what he meant when he wanted me to go with him. He finally told me after we were together. He just wanted me to help him end the first order"

Poe wiped her tears away with one hand then patted her knee "But he fucked the words up, didn't he?"

She opened her eyes to see that classic Poe grin.

"Oh, you have no idea"

He turned and looked ahead, setting the next hyperjump. 

"Yep, you are right, complete idiot. Well, you married him. Good luck with that"

Rey threw her head back, laughing at her best friend. She had missed him. 


	14. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is back on base after seven life-changing years....

Arriving on Anja Kloss stirred up so many emotions. The last time she was here she had just defeated the galaxy's enemy. Her own grandfather. And she was harboring the love of her life in a cave. She had been giddy, exhausted, happy, overwhelmed, full of relief and full of the unknown. 

The unknown being a future with the man she had flown here with. 

She glanced around, seeing the memories…...

 _Climbing out of the X wing that she had hidden, hoping that in the excitement no one had spotted it._

_"Ben, you need to go hide, okay?" she explained with one hand on his chest. He had stared down at her hand, not even hearing her. She thought he was in shock from everything they had endured._

_"Ben, look at me"_

_He looked up, his eyes glazed over. She became worried about him. She reached up and took his face in her hands. He seemed to snap out of it, now his eyes going wide._

_"Did you hear me? Go hide. I've got to go talk to everyone. You have to stay out of sight. I'm going to tell them what you did but I don't know how they will feel. And then there's a place I'll fly to. I've heard of it and I've saved the coordinates for years. I've got to do this first"_

_He nodded and she was gone. She got a little aways and felt such sadness come from him. Probably because of Leia._

Rey looked towards the trees that they had landed amongst. Now she knew the source of his sadness was because he thought she wasn't coming back. 

_She felt his sadness growing the entire time she was with her friends. It tapered off for a short time then grew again, getting stronger. She tried to reach out but she was beyond exhausted and just couldn't manage it along with the overwhelming response to her story. The news that Kylo Ren himself had helped save them was met with mixed emotions. The emotions hit her like waves due to how deep she had just been in the force. Coupled with Ben's sadness, she was dizzy._

_But he needed her, so she left her dear friends and went to him._

_She ran to him as fast as she could, knowing exactly where'd she'd find him and why he was there. She was worried that being so near the place Leia had died was too much for him. But as soon as she saw him, wrapped in a blanket, all she could do was kiss him again and then his sadness was gone._

And then her life began.

She turned from those trees and looked at the base.

There stood Finn. 

She ran, tears coming quickly. She grabbed him and hugged him fiercely.

"Rey! Don't cry! Oh wow, it's really you!"

She wiped her face then hugged him again.

"It's you! I missed you so much! I'm so happy to see you!"

He held her back, looking at her. She looked so different. 

"Wow Rey, look at you. You look so happy. I missed you too"

"Finn, I don't understand why you never would write me"

"I'm sorry Rey, it's just, there's so much to do here. I'm sorry for ignoring you"

"I know you've been busy with other things too" she smiled at him "and other people"

Finn turned and motioned for someone. The beautiful woman from Kef Bir came walking towards them. 

"Rey, do you remember Jannah? I think you two never really met"

She reached out her hand to her and Rey accepted it, embarrassed. 

"Yes! I owe you an apology. You wanted to help me and I was rather rude to you. I'm sorry about that. It was just," Rey took a deep breath, remembering, "I had to do that. It couldn't wait"

"I understand. I'm just glad you are okay. It was a really strange day"

Rey closed her eyes, sinking back in her mind.

"You have no idea. Jannah, you were there during the most important day of my life and I'm thankful to you for it"

Jannah was taken aback at the emotions she felt coming from this woman she'd actually just met. The first time didn't really count. 

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean but you are welcome"

Rey sighed, grasping Jannah's hand in both of hers. 

"Maybe one day I'll tell you. I understand that you and Finn are together now? I'm so happy for you both"

Finn watched this whole exchange with a slight bit of confusion. His friend Rey seemed like a different person now. He felt like he didn't know this person. 

Of course, he had ignored her for years out of anger and hurt from the choices she had made. 

Rey gave him a look, one that told him they had much to discuss. He knew her well enough to know that she was also hurt by his choice to ignore her. 

Suddenly she heard a voice behind her. 

"Rey!"

Her friend Rose had called out to her from afar. The friends ran and hugged. 

"Rose! Oh my gosh! I missed you!"

"I missed you too! I just received your letter this morning! Poe told us yesterday that you were coming. I'm so glad you are here! Six years! It doesn't seem like it"

She smiled, holding her dear friends hand. 

"A lot has happened to me in six years so I'd have to say, it feels like a lifetime since I left here"

By now Finn and Jannah had walked up.

"I wanted to ask so badly about it but Poe said I couldn't. Rey, you have children!" 

Rose's question was more of a statement, a revelation that could finally be spoken about. 

Rey beamed from her pride of her sweet girls. She pulled out a holovid that she had watched several times on the way here. She held it up and turned it on. 

The girls had put on a play for her and Ben. Driea was the princess and Leiliana the prince. They danced together at the end, swirling and twirling, laughing. Then running to Ben's lap and climbing up, both hugging him as he kissed and tickled them. Driea wanted her father to dance with her so he scooped her up and dipped her upside down, Leiliana climbing up his back, jealous as usual.

"Driea is in the dress. Leiliana has the saber. They are four years old"

Rose was smiling from ear to ear. 

"Rey! Look at them! They are beautiful. Oh my gosh look at Ben. I haven't ever really seen him, you know? He's....large"

Rey laughed. "Yes, yes he is"

Jannah was leaning on Finn's arm. "That's the man from that day? I mean, I know it is. I know you married him. I'm sorry, it's just…."

"It must be strange to see two people trying to kill each other and then find out they are married now. I'm sorry...I'm just used to it, you know? I forget how strange it looks to others"

Jannah reached out and placed her hand on Rey's arm. 

"Don't apologize. That's your life. I'm glad that….um….you two made up? Is that weird to say?"

Finn huffed, "Yes, it's weird to say"   
and walked away.

Rey looked at Jannah, confused. "What was that? Finn!! Come back!"

Rey went after her friend. Rose and Jannah looked at each other. Rose shook her head. "You knew he'd get pissed when she brought him up. I wasn't expecting a holovid though. The whole thing is just….crazy"

"I don't know what else to say to him, Rose. I told him this was going to be hard. It's not like she's going to hide it from him. He's her husband. But I understand why he's upset. Rey needs to understand too"

"They'll work it out, somehow" Rose assured, unsure herself. 

Finn stopped walking and turned to Rey, looking down at his feet.

"Finn, I'm sorry. I didn't think about you seeing Ben again. I just wanted you to see the girls"

Finn suddenly embraced her.

"I'm so glad you are here" he said, letting go of her. He took her hand. 

"They....they are beautiful Rey. They look like you, in the face. I'm really happy to see you have the family you deserve. He's nice to you? I just….I worry. I've seen how he can be. I just tell myself how tough you are. But he's….good to you?"

She wraps both hands around his, squeezing.

"Finn, he's not always nice. He's still temperamental. Guess what? So am I. But we balance each other out. He's a different man…..don't roll your eyes Finn. One day when you feel like it, I'll tell you everything. But Finn, you knew something was happening and you chose to ignore it. I had to bring him back. If I had not went after him, we'd all be dead. I told you that"

"Yeah okay. I'm glad he turned back, for Leia. For all of us. I understand that. I just don't understand how you expect us to just accept him"

"I expect people not to harass me about my life choices. That's all I expect Finn. Can we please just be happy to see each other?" Rey decided to change the subject, "Finn…. she's beautiful. Are you happy?"

Finn smiled, looking at Jannah. 

"She's gorgeous. How the hell I got her to notice me, I don't know. She's really sweet and kind and smart"

"I'm really happy for you. I'm glad we are both happy Finn. We deserve it"


	15. Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reconnects with old friends and encounters new ones....

Rey had found herself happy to be there. Happy to see her old friends, meet new friends, become friends with acquaintances she had not been able to get to know before. 

Jannah and Rose had tried to acquire her new quarters but there were none. It was not a loss to her. The Falcon had plenty of room and was like her long lost home, familiar. Chewie had his quarters, the same he had held for decades. There was another room for her to sleep in. She was content there, somehow feeling Ben's presence stronger. 

Her first night she reached for him. Not far. He was never far. Her heart beat with his, their thread always humming with a warm strum. 

_Guess what?_

His breath caught. Force he missed her already. 

_Hello my love._

_I'm staying on the Falcon_.

 _Oh_ , he sent back, not knowing how he felt about that. 

_I thought you'd like to know. You don't like it?_

_It's not that. I know you love the Falcon._

_I do. It reminds me of you. Chewie said these were your quarters, growing up. I swear I FEEL you here. Oh I wish you could be here. This is strange, knowing you've slept here but you aren't here now. It's like something is missing. Like she misses you._

He smiled. Her ways of thinking always were, so bright. Her light always showing. 

_The ship misses me? Are you sure that's not you my sweet girl?_

_Ben, my heart hurts from how much I miss you. To think, the last time I was here, I didn't have any idea you'd be my Ben the next time I slept here._

His heart sung with his love for her, his utter obsession for her. 

_You could just fly it home, you know. I'd not think twice to climb on there and take you right there in my old bed._

She sighed, cuddling her pillow, wishing it was him. She should've stolen his pillow instead of bringing her own.

_I'd let you Ben. I'd so let you._

Ben didn't know it was possible for her to think in a growling voice. 

_Quit torturing me woman. Go to sleep and dream with me. I'm sure I know what we will dream about together. I haven't had a Rey sex dream in years._

_Hmmm, I'll see you there, lover._

She giggled her little giggle that always aroused him. Low in her throat, filled with lust.

They did dream a good hot sex dream together and it was amazing. 

~*~

The next morning she made her way to the mess hall, her arm laced through Chewie's.

<Rey, he is good to you?>

"Oh yes Chewie. You'd be so proud of him. He's a new man. He's kind and loving. He is very good to us"

<Sounds like the boy I knew, so not a new man. Just the one he used to be. He was always very respectful to girls>

"Were there….girls?" she asked, finding it interesting but a little strange that it made her feel...a bit jealous. _Hell, Rey, you would've only been a toddler then, hush up being silly,_ she told herself.

<He was only 15 when he left. Once he hit about 13, girls were always flirting with him. He was already tall and looked older. But no, not anyone he was interested in. He was never rude to them though>

"Oh" she said with a sigh, which made Chewie smile.

<Rey, I don't know if I will get to see this new Ben. You have to know how I feel about him. I was very worried about you when you went to him in the shuttle. I will always love him but…..>

Rey stopped and patted her friends large paw.

"Chewie, I don't expect you to forget or even forgive. I was there too. I just hope maybe one day you can speak with him. See him. Like I do. I've seen what it's done to him. He took me there in his mind, that day. With Han. Maybe he can show you too, what I saw. He was brainwashed, Chewie. I won't try to convince you, I know there is no convincing and how you feel is how you feel. But he misses you"

<I miss my boy Ben. But not Ren. Never Ren>

"Well then it's a good thing Ren is dead"

Chewie pulled her into a hug, burying her in his fur. Rey wanted so bad to connect with Ben and let him see but she knew better. Ben was already apprehensive about her sleeping on the Falcon. Seeing Chewie hug her would just chug up old wounds. 

She HAD to reunite these two, somehow, someday. 

~*~

"Rey!"

She looked up from her breakfast seeing an unfamiliar, beautiful woman who seemed to be very excited to see her. 

"Oh, hello, oh!! I do know you! Hello Zorii"

"Oh I forgot, I never removed my helmet on Kimjii. Yes, it's me. In the flesh"

"It's so good to see you. Literally!" Rey said with a smile. The woman was….stunning, Rey thought.

"Yes, I feel like we are good friends even though we only knew each other for a short time. Poe talks about you all the time"

"Yes, I feel the same about you. It's literally all he ever talked about when he wrote to me. Zorii, Zorii, Zorii"

"How are you? I cannot believe you are a mother now. Poe came home shocked. Seems those two gave him quite the impression"

Rey laughed proudly "Oh yes, it was adorable. Leiliana put her hand on her hip and threw her head back at him. She read him right away. And he was a goner. Driea too. They had him wrapped so fast. He impressed them too. They are still talking about Uncle Poe. Which gloriously drives my husband nuts"

"So, this husband. This is THE same man that ran the First Order? The same man who terrified all of us?"

Rey felt heat rush into her face. She'd never had anyone confront her about Ben. Well, Finn and Poe but she could handle them. They were her people. She'd rode that wave with them and knew what to say. 

But this….this was different. This was essentially a stranger. 

"I... I….um...yes" she found herself sit up straight. She was never going to defend him. He didn't defend himself. Ben knew what he had done. He'd still never come to terms with it. She knew if it wasn't for what they had, he probably would've flung himself off a cliff somewhere. 

She settled into herself, still holding Zorii's eyes. 

"I don't know what to say"

"He's changed?" Zorii's eyes were defiant. Bold. She wanted to know. 

"Yes Zorii. That's all I know to say. There's….way more to it….more than I can tell you here….in the mess hall. And it's that simple yet way way more complicated than that. Ben was the victim of an abuser...yet…he made choices he won't ever forget. If you want to, I can try to explain but you have to understand how the force works. Are you force sensitive?"

"No"

"Well, I….he….WE don't have any secrets to hide. Ben can't talk about it as easily as I can….as far as... explaining"

"You've never had to, have you?"

"Um...no. I haven't. I mean, I have with Poe and Finn, a bit. But even then…. there's a lot that I have discovered from Ben over the years. Things he's told me over time. I mean, if you would want to hear about it"

Zorii laid her hand on Rey's.

"Do you see what I just did to you? Did you see how flustered you got? You've got to stop. Rey, I know what happened to Ben. Poe told me. But you are going to encounter those that don't know and don't care. Do you love your man? Yes. You do. So don't get yourself flustered. Own it. Own him. Own your marriage. Be prepared and don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be with that man"

Rey was beyond confused "Wait, this was a test? Poe defended Ben? What did Poe tell you?"

"Yes and yes. Poe told me that Snoke invaded Ben as a child, possibly before and twisted his mind and forced him to kill and torture. That his parents and the great Luke, maybe not-so-great, didn't see what was happening and didn't try to help the boy. That Ben Solo was brainwashed from birth to destroy the galaxy"

Rey's mouth was left open. Zorii closed it for her, touching her chin like they were long lost sisters. 

Rey hugged her. 

"Zorii, that was the best description. I've never had to explain. I guess we've been in a type of isolation. No one knows us, except my friend Violet. Poe told you that?"

"No, I told him after he explained what he had heard"

"I knew he wouldn't talk about Leia that way. He adored her. We all did"

"Sounds like she should've done better by her son"

Rey swallowed, looking down at her hands, trying to remember that she too had battled these thoughts.

"I loved Leia. She was only 'mom' I've ever really had. But now that I'm a mother, I have to say, I agree"

Rey decided to change the subject. This was a bit too uncomfortable, discussing her family with someone she barely knew. 

"I'm so happy for you and Poe. I can't believe that the Poe Dameron is getting married. I saw the obvious tension between you two on Kimjii"

The beautiful woman tossed her head back, laughing loudly. Rey jumped. She wasn't used to such loudness from another woman. Rey had not known many other females. She had been surrounded by men for most of her life. Rey considered herself to be rather quiet, which was funny considering she's a Jedi, accustomed to battles and saber fighting. She was only her true self around Ben. 

Zorii noticed her jump. 

"Oh, you are a shy thing! Aren't you the same woman who pulled a saber on me?"

"Well, yeah….I don't do much saber pulling these days"

"That'll all change when we go save those kids, right?"

Rey realized something. She was not prepared for this, mentally or physically. Her life had become about caring for her family. She was painfully out of practice.

"Zorii, will you help me train? My regular training partner isn't here to help me. He's at home" she said that last part with a sigh. 

Zorii took Rey's hand again. She squeezed it. 

"I'd love to. Chin up hun. I'm sure he misses you too"

Rey found herself a bit emotional but before she was a basket of tears, Jannah and Rose walked up. 

"We leave you with her for five minutes and you've got her crying over that hunky husband she left at home!"

Zorii let go of her hand and held it up in the air. 

"Wait! Hold up! Hunky? Ohhhh, we like talking about hot men. Show me, show me. I wanna see Rey, where's a holovid? You know you got one! I never saw him on Kimjii. I heard he had a helmet anyways. Whew, was it a hot looking helmet?"

Rey blushed, overwhelmed by the questions.

"Oh no girl, you better stop with all that shyness. You single handedly converted the enemy of the universe into a stay at home dad. So I know somewhere under all that blushing is a outspoken powerful sexy woman! Come on now. Don't be embarrassed"

Rey smiled a bit "Well, yeah, he's good looking"

"Good looking huh?" Zorii winked.

Jannah spoke up *Oh I saw him. He's more than good looking. I was scared shitless of him but even I noticed"

Rey smiled a bit more "Okay, yes, he's hot"

Zorii cackled again. Rey didn't jump this time. 

"Girl you better SHOW me that holovid!"  
  



	16. Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Zorii workout while Ben learns how to use the bond in a new....fun way....

"Come on Rey, just a little further"

"Hold on" Rey stops to catch her breath. This is ridiculous. She can use the force to leap over large crevices but she can't run 5 miles without her heart trying to give out.

Her Force skills are still on point but she is determined to get back in the physical shape she was in just a few years ago. 

Zorii is the epitome of fit. Her new friend is in perfect shape and it's maddening. She is also a drill sergeant when it comes to exercise. Rey looks up to see her friend still jogging in place. 

Hell, no wonder Poe is so damn happy. LOOK at her. She shakes her head. 

"What?" Zorii asks.

"Nothing. It's just, damn Zorii, I wish I looked like you"

"You can't whine if you won't work harder"

"Yeah, well, screw you" giving Zorii a rude hand gesture. 

Zorii laughed and takes off running again.

"Come on Jedi girl!! Kick ass!!"

"Yeah yeah, where's my saber when I need it?" she mutters as she starts running again. 

"I HEARD THAT!!"

"GOOD!!"

Afterwards they are chugging water. Rey's entire body hurts. 

"Rey, you are beautiful, quit beating yourself up. You've still got it, you've just got to find it again. You'll pay me back when we train with the staff"

"I plan to. Thanks for the compliment though"

"I know you wish there was a way to train with the saber. But I don't need to lose an arm. Or a head. So there's only two sabers now? Yours and his? I thought you had to build your own saber"

"Kyber crystals are nearly impossible to find now. One day Ben and I plan to go hunting for all the crystals. They are mostly hidden away in trading posts. We plan to locate them all. Then I can build my own and he can build a new one"

"Oh yes, that's right. The infamous Kylo Ren saber. Where is it?"

"He tossed it in the ocean when he decided to come after me"

Rey smiles slightly. That revelation had shook her to her core back when he told her. He tossed Kylo and Kylo's saber. For her. 

"Damn girl. Don't you ever talk at me with no confidence in who you are. You are the bitch. You fucked that man all up"

Rey stammers at this. 

"Yes, I guess I see your point. I did fuck him up" she turns red again and then laughs. 

Zorii tips her water bottle at Rey, shooting her a side eye.

"Fucked him up and then just plain fucked him"

"ZORII!!!" Rey yells, throwing her empty water bottle at her new friend.

Zorii winks "You better get used to me girl. Fucking is my favorite subject and you better get used to telling me all your secrets. Me and the squad love sex secrets"

Rey burys her red face in her hands, laughing so hard she can't breathe. She'd never had girlfriends. Her only friends up until now were men. This is vastly different. This is fun. 

"So, enough about that. Finish your saber story. So you and Ben use old sabers?"

"Well actually it's Luke's and Leia's sabers"

"Wait. WAIT. You have whose saber?"

"Luke's. Ben has his mother's"

"You use THE Luke Skywalker's saber?"

"Yes. Actually it was his father's saber"

"THE FUCK? WHAT? YOU USE VADER'S SABER??"

"We prefer to refer to him as Anakin. Vader turned at the end of his life"

"Oh yeah, I was taught the stories growing up. But the stories I was taught are your family. This is wild. I'm friends with the granddaughter of Vad…. I mean Anakin Skywalker"

"I'm just Rey of Jakku" she says, shifting uncomfortably. 

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable"

"It's alright. I don't like the attention. I'm just a person Zorii"

"I know. I'm just….you are so kind and sweet. I thought you'd be…."

"I literally discovered that I had the Force overnight"

"So….you were captured by Kylo and that's how it started?"

"I guess I'll tell you….it feels like so long ago"

Rey tells her everything. The interrogation….watching Han die….then fighting...Ben. Kylo. It's so strange talking about it. This is their love story. Or something like that. 

Zorii speaks up "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. He watched you sleep? Then he just, climbed into your brain and that's how it started? It sounds kinda sweet. He had not been like that with the others. Rey, he was taken with you. But you don't think you are beautiful do you? You certainly encaptured the First Knight of Ren, girl. You changed him. That was before the connection, the bond, Dyad, whatever. Do you realize that?"

She smiles just a bit.

"I suppose so"

"Has he told you that? That he was encompassed by you? Little Rey of Jakku?"

"Yeah" she says shyly.

"It's really amazing Rey. Sweetest thing ever. You changed that man. Not the Force"

_She's right. I like this lady._

Rey beams at the sound of her love's voice in her soul.

 _Eavesdropper,_ she whispers back across their dyad.

_You projected. You know I can't stop myself when you glow like that. I never could. I can't wait to touch you again._

Zorii is still talking when she notices Rey giggling and blushing.

"What are you doing?" she asks Rey, her brows furrowed.

Rey giggles again, not hearing her friend over the whispers that Ben is speaking. Whispers of how much touching he is going to do to her when he sees her again. 

Zorii watches her friend turn red.

"Hello?" Zorri waves in her friend's face. 

Rey snaps out of her trance. 

"Oh! Ben stop!" she didn't mean to speak it out loud, slapping her hand over her mouth.

Zorii smiles. 

"Ohhhhh is he talking to you? Should I….leave? This is weird"

Rey waves her hands, laughing. 

"No! Ugh, yes he is. Sorry. He felt me and started listening"

Zorii fairly beams at this revelation, crossing her arms.

"So, wait. Is he like, always listening to you? Like, a ghost? Can he see us? You gotta tell me, especially since me and you are hanging out. I need to know if I can't talk about….stuff. Like, if I'm talking about sex or something"

"NO!! Oh no, it's not like that. He can only hear and see me. And only if we 'agree'. Like, he doesn't just spy on me. I mean, he could but he stopped that years ago. He can't see or hear you. He feels what I feel so sometimes if he feels me happy, he'll peek. He says he can't help it but I know better, isn't that right Ben?"

She hears Ben laugh. _Well when my girl is happy thinking about me, I want to know why._

_Shoo, you are creeping her out._

_Well, have fun talking about us. Don't tell all my secrets. Oh and you are more beautiful than her._

_Oh you heard that? You can't even see her._

_I don't have to. YOU are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. Quit dissing my wife's body. It's an exquisite creation and I can't wait to kiss and lick and nibble and suck every inch of it._

Rey giggles again. 

"Okay, there's something creepy here. Imma go now. You continue your little….sex chat with him. I don't know what he's saying but you are ten shades of red. Go talk to his hot looking self"

"Zorii! Don't go!"

Zorii waves her hand, already 20 feet away.

_You ran her off! You are so bad!_

_Hmmmm…..yes I am. Anyways, back to what I'm going to do to that amazing body of yours as I run my tongue down your sexy belly going lower and lower…._

_Ben!!!_

_Yeah you can holler like that. It's fine with me……_

She watches him smirk and nearly melts inside. He knows what he does to her. 

She also knows the power she holds over him.

Grinning she whispers things she could do to him with her tongue.

_Damn Rey…..like….damn baby….._

She grins _. So you like when I swirl my tongue around the end of your….._

_Okay! You win!_

She laughs so hard she almost falls off of the rock she is sitting on. 

_Damn woman, I've got baths to give. Now I need to jump in the cold fresher before I can._

_Don't start something you can't finish, Solo._

Kriff, she misses him. Not just his body but his soul, his sinfully wicked sense of humor, his heart. He makes her happier than any other person in the universe for he is the only one who truly understands her.

Rey walks up to Zorii in the corridor.

"I'm sorry Zorii" she says with a grin. 

Zorri smiles back "Girl, no you're not and you better not be. You go talk dirty to that man anytime you want to. It's cute that after, what, five years, you can still be that in love. Gives me hope for Poe and I"

"Six years. I think you and Poe will be in love for a long time. I'm happy for both of you. I'm glad that you are my new friend Zorii"  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rescue mission is a go.....

The mission to go rescue the children is a go. Rey is prepared to leave the next morning, arrive at the "school" and hopefully no one will die in this rescue. 

_I'm so nervous Ben…..what if they kill the children?_

_It's a possibility Rey. They don't care. I just want YOU safe. I wish I was there….._

_Ben, I can do this….have some faith in me…..after all, you trained me…._

_Your master has faith...your husband has concerns….you aren't just my student….._

_You are my life….my love…._

His baritone voice echoing in her soul was enough to soothe her asleep. 

~*~

The plan was Jannah's baby. She had gone to General Poe weeks ago determined to be put in charge of the aftercare of the recovered children. She had collected supplies from everywhere in the galaxy. Food, blankets, pillows, clothes, etc etc. 

Jannah had some slight memory of being terrified. Flashes of panic. _Where are they_? She remembered thinking. Now she knows who "they" were. Her parents or guardians or whoever had her before. She knows that whoever it was, was kind and good. If they had not been there would be no question of Where are they?

The first real solid memories, she thinks, were around age 8. No friends, no comforts. Only work, mind-conditioning was a constant, work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Stopping was not an option and was usually not seen past age 9. She had seen kids beat, spit on, hair pulled. Not every leader was so cruel. Some were a bit kinder, opting to only keep food away for shorter times, instead of days at a time. 

She'd always been a rebel but learned early on how to and when to resist. She kept quiet her individual thoughts, careful not to become attached to people. She had not ever needed to be reconditioned. 

Then, at 15, she was sent on her first mission. To an outer rim planet whose name she couldn't remember. She was terrified along with several others her age. The older ones were mentally gone, accustomed to the violence, the thriving, the killing. 

They were ordered to blast on a group of innocents. The older troopers did but Jannah and others did not. They were just, frozen. Phasma came barrelling at them, ordering reconditioning as she marched towards them. One took off running and she followed, blaster bolts flying all around them. Others also ran behind her. They managed to steal a ship and leave the planet, finding their way to Kef Bir. Of all places, the moon where the old Death star had crashed. 

Then her whole world was turned upside down again when the last Jedi and her friends had arrived. She had watched the new Supreme Leader vs Last Jedi try not to kill each other. Then she wound up at Exegol, helping to save the galaxy. Now she's working for the Resistance. 

Life is wild, she thought, shaking her head and preparing the transport ships for the children they would hopefully be bringing back here. Hopefully. 

~*~

Rey landed her ship far beyond the lights of the compound. She knew that she would have to find a way to infiltrate the building at night. Slowly she and her gang, the only ones she had trained to carry out the mission, made their way through the forest. It was ink dark so they wore night vision goggles. Rey was accustomed to goggles, having worn them on Jakku to keep from losing her eyeballs to sand particles. But if the others didn't stop whining…

"Ugh, these things are heavy" whined Finn.

"Shhhh!!" whispered Zorri. 

Of course the men were the worst. Zorii, Jannah and Rose were silent behind her. 

"This way" whispered Rey, motioning to her friends. 

"How do you know?" Poe asked.

"The Force, Poe" Jannah whispered "I feel it too"

Rey stopped "Jannah, you feel it?" 

"Yeah"

"Remind me to talk to you later"

Rey knew she felt Jannah's force signature, along with Finn's. She had felt both of them stronger since she had returned. They were force sensitive. She remembered feeling Finn's back before, everything. Before Exegol. She had been too preoccupied with, you know, saving the galaxy. Oh and fighting with Ben. Kylo. He was Kylo then. Everything revolved around Kylo back then. Her every waking thought. And her dreams even but at least in her dreams she was happily his. Only Ben knew that she would dream of being in his arms every night. She had kept that a secret from her comrades back then. That every time she slept, she was his and he was hers. It was the only thing that kept her sane enough to do what she had to do. 

But now she could focus on other things. Like knowing that she had force sensitive friends. 

They snuck along in the dark forest, using the force to search. Search for the children. She felt their Force signatures also. Not all of the children had it. But most did. That's why they were taken. How did Hux know? Rey had not ever met Hux but surely Ben would've felt it. And he had not. Ben told her over and over that Hux could not know. Ben knew something was off. Only a force sensitive knew other force sensitives. There had to be someone else. Someone with Hux. That knew. Rey knew that her husband was clamoring to come to Anja Kloss, he knew something Rey didn't. Rey felt him battling the urge to come. She wished he just would. She needed him. They could protect their girls. She needed them too. She needed her family together.

"There it is" Rose pointed. 

There were lights ahead. A tall fence stood between them and the building. They all climbed it with ease, landing on the other side. No security was in sight, which made Rey nervous. 

"Be ready guys, there's no way this is going to be easy" Rey spoke, her hand pulling out her saber, ready to activate yet knowing once she lit the bright saber it would literally give them away. The thing needs a dimmer switch, she thought with a smile. 

_Yeah, that would be nice, came her soulmate's whisper._

_There you are,_ she threw back at him. 

_You think I can sleep with you out there in danger?_

_I'm okay Ben._

_Stay that way. Damn it all I'd give anything to at least be able to see more than you. At least see around you. I should be there._

_You'd just worry the shit out of me, she shot back, joking. She wished he was there too._

_Yeah but you'd be safe. I can promise you that. Besides I miss kicking ass with you._

_You just want me to grab your thigh again._

_Hmmmmm……stop distracting me. Pay attention._

She felt his presence wrap around her and it was like a shield. He couldn't protect her but just knowing he was there in her mind gave her strength. The force hummed with discontent. Rey and Ben Solo were not meant to be apart. The fact that they were went against the Dyad. The longer she was away from him the more they both knew that. She suddenly had a bad feeling. She shoved it away. 

They found a door. Rey used the Force to search for any life forms on the other side. She felt none and used her powers to slowly unlock it. They entered carefully, one at a time. 

They searched the corridor. It was too quiet. Rey knew the children were sleeping. They came upon a large room of cots, each one holding a child. The plan was for Rose and Jannah to sneak as many children out as they could while the others stood guard. 

She sought out the one with the strongest signature. A blond child. Boy or girl, she couldn't tell. She waved her hand over the child, whispering into the child's mind. 

_You will wake up calmly and find me standing over you. You will not panic_. 

The child opened her eyes, calmly looking at her. 

_I am a friend. My name is Rey. I will not hurt you. I need your help waking the others. Can you hear me?_

The child nodded, wide eyed. Rey smiled.

_You can hear me inside your mind?_

The child nodded again.

_Try to think something._

Rey heard the child's whisper. _You are pretty._

_Why thank you sweet child. We are here to help. Will you trust us?_

The child nodded again. At this point, she had nothing to lose.

Rey had thought long and hard about this. Discussed it with Ben only because he knew force sensitives. Rey's motherly instinct was to rescue the smaller ones first. Ben had told her the mission would go awry fast unless the older ones went first. The more force sensitive older ones. Ben had reminded her that even though their own girls were the same age, Driea always followed Leiliana. Little Leia was stronger in the force. Rey had not wanted to accept that and they fought about it. Ben had finally made his wife accept it. The weaker force sensitives would always follow the stronger. Rey wanted to see her girls as equal in everything but Ben was realistic about it. Ben made her see that she had to seek out the stronger force sensitive children inside the compound and use them to guide the others. Or the children would panic. 

Rey had found the leader pretty quickly. Ben was proud of her, deep in his meditation from light years away. He smiled, watching, feeling. _That's_ _my girl. I knew you could do it. Now hurry._

Rey watched as the girl stood. _What's_ _your name? Rey_ asked her, reaching to touch the child's face. 

_Aja_

The fact that she knew her name told Rey that the reconditioning had not progressed so far that she had been forced to forget it. Eventually they would be forced to forget their names. They would be assigned numbers. Knowing their names would make it easier to find their parents.

_I need you to wake up the older children._

_Aja, stay with me. I know you are the leader._

_How? How did you know?_

_I am a Jedi. The force showed me._

The child's eyes grew wide. _You are the Jedi. The woman that I've heard about._

_Yes I am. Do you know that you're force-sensitive?_

_Yes I do know. My parents told me. Will you take me to them? I miss them._

_I will try but we have to rescue the others. Tell the older children to wake the younger. The younger children do you think that they will be quiet?_

_They will do whatever I tell them to do._

Aja did as she was told, waking up and whispering to some of the others.

Slowly, quietly the children followed Rose and Jannah out of the door into the corridor. 

_We must hurry. Where are the guards?_

_They are outside the door_. Aja pointed at another door. 

_Hurry, we must be quick and quiet._

Ray counted as 23 children went out the door. Aja was right they did listen to her. She hurried them out.

Suddenly the other door came open. Two guards came into the room. 

"HEY!!!"

The largest guard shouted for back up. 

"THE CHILDREN ARE ESCAPING!!"

Rey groaned. This was it. The fight was on and not nearly enough children had gotten out of the room. 

_Go Aja! Now! Run!_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Unanswered

Rey ignites her saber. 

The men fire straight at her because they are fools. She easily deflects the bolts back into them, killing them instantly. 

She knows there will be more. She's right. In that short time she counts….24…..25…..26…..27…..28….

Then more First Order troops appear. 

Finn and Poe quickly strike them down.

29….30….31….32….

The children are unbelievably calm as they run. The only shouting comes from Jannah. 

"HURRY HURRY RUN GO!!!" 

Rey reaches with the force. Outside is calm. Too calm. 

33..….34..….35…...36…...37…...38…..

"FINN! POE! GO OUT THERE!"

Both men refuse to move. Rey spins and screams at them.

"ITS TOO EASY!!! GO!!"

39….40…..41….42…. 

The men exchange looks and Finn is gone. 

She looks back at Poe, knowing one would stay. She knew it when she screamed. She had learned long ago to compromise with these two so she told both to go and then let them decide.

"There's more Poe. There has to be"

They realize the room was empty. The children are gone. 

"42?? That's all that were here. Where are the rest??" Poe yells.

"C'mon!" Rey yells, running out of the room, further into the compound. 

"No Rey, wait!!" Poe yells protectively, not knowing what is out there. 

They enter an empty corridor, looking left then right. It's too quiet. 

Rey reaches out a hand, feeling with the force. 

There.

Her hand stops at a door. She points and slides her finger to the right, opening the door. Children stand, wide eyed. 

Rey holds her finger to her lips as they enter. 

Guards are passing the children through to the roof. Fortunately they have not spotted the two Resistance fighters.

She gestures to the children gawking at her saber to go out of the door. They listen and sneak out in quiet order. 

Rey walks to the bottom of the rope ladder hanging from the ceiling. She sweeps her saber at the ropes, cutting them in two. Poe stands next to her, blaster trained at the hole in the ceiling. 

As soon as the ladder hits the ground the guards reappear. Poe doesn't hesitate to kill all three. 

Rey and Poe jump back, ready for more guards to reappear but none do. The sound of the hatch closing on the above transport tells them all they need to know. They both take off out the door, no kids in sight. Poe covers her back, running backwards in case more guards appear from within the compound. 

They make it outside in time to help hoist the children over the fence and then climb over. The sun is peeking above the horizon, providing enough light to no longer need the night vision goggles. 

Everyone makes it back to the transport ships. All are accounted for, minus the children who were swept up into the First Order ship. The ship is long gone. 

Rey collapses into the bench inside the ship, more overcome from stress than exhaustion. She can hear her heart pounding but not just her own heart. Ben's heart rate has accelerated faster than her own, pulling her heart rate up to match his. 

_Breathe Ben, I'm okay. You are making it hard for me to breathe sweetheart._

_Oh Gods Rey, I'm trying. This is hell._

_Yeah, try being here._

_If I was there I'd be calmer. You can't do this to me anymore. All I can see is you so I don't know what happened. What the hell happened??_

_What happened is your padawan/wife did exactly what I came to do you sweet man. I'm fine. Calm down._

_You got them all? All?? That easily?_

_Almost. There weren't as many guards as we thought. They clearly didn't anticipate us finding them. They weren't ready for us at all. They just ran. There was a ship. Some were taken again. We don't know the numbers._

_Oh….thank the Force….then that's it? You can come home??_

Rey doesn't answer him. 

_Rey? Rey! You better answer me Solo._

She smiles. She loves it when he calls her Solo. She slowly pushes him away. His anger intensifies as she feels him push towards her. 

_Later Ben, we will talk later._

She vaguely hears him break something and curse. She winces, not looking forward to later. 

~*~

The children are well off physically, the First Order has fed them adequately. They are clean and do not appear to have been hurt. This is surprising. 

Mentally though, the poor things are traumatized and terrified. Their emotions are more than Rey could handle. She has to put up her shields to them lest they overwhelm her. Her maternal instinct takes over as she goes to Aja. 

"Honey, are you okay?" she whispers to her new little friend. The preteen girl is a beautiful thing. Golden hair and sky blue eyes. Rey wonders why the First Order took this one. They normally slayed the older children, according to what Ben told her. Him explaining the way it worked was a very hard conversation. Rey found herself angry at Ben. It had resulted in a terrible moment between them, her lashing out at him and him just taking it, knowing he deserves it. Ben (Kylo) had stopped all child slavery as soon as he became Supreme Leader but he was the one Rey took her anger out on. He simply let her scream at him until she was sobbing then when he tried to hold her, she pushed him away, going to sleep with the girls. Ben stayed awake all night, unable to sleep without his dyad. 

Rey knows deep down that Aja was probably taken for more nefarious reasons. She is going to be a gorgeous young woman. Aja probably would've been sold or used by some higher up in the First Order. Possibly Hux himself. She wants to be sick. 

She pulls the young girl into her arms. Aja finally breaks, sobbing.

"Will you please take me home?"

"I will take you there myself as soon as we locate your family. Do you have siblings here?"

"No….I'm an only child"

An only child? Rey thought. Oh Gods at what her mother must be going through right now…..Rey lets a few tears slip. 

She pulls Aja's face up with both hands looking at her with motherly eyes. 

"You are a hero young lady, do you know that? You kept the younger ones calm. If not for you, there's no telling what would've happened. You are going to be okay. Did anyone hurt you?"

Aja looks away. 

Everything in Rey screams. So help the force if anyone took advantage of this child...she will blow up the First Order single-handedly. 

Jannah is in charge of caring for the children and has appointed Rose and Finn to assist. They seem to have everything under control so Rey takes Aja's hand and leads her away into a med bay room to have the child assessed by the med team. Aja is fine according to the med droid, which Aja has never seen before. She practically climbs into Rey's lap at the sight of the droid. 

"It's okay Aja, have you not ever played with a droid?"

"No ma'am"

"Ah, well they are here to help. I have a droid myself. His name is D-O. He's very small. You will like him. He loves children"

Right about that time, D-O makes his appearance. 

"You-you-you said my name"

"Here he is now. Aja meet D-O. D-O this is Aja"

Aja smiles a bit through her tears. D-O runs circles around Aja, asking ten questions back to back. 

"D-O slow down, don't scare her"

"You-you-you are sc-sc-scared? I've also been scared. I-I-I don't like it"

Aja sits in the floor, no longer noticing the med droid still checking her over. D-O makes a laughing sound which makes Aja laugh with him. Rey is glad she brought D-O. She didn't have much choice though. D-O had cried when she went to leave without him. He had apparently been traumatized by Rey being away from him for so long. Finn had taken ownership of him but he still had been looking for her. She felt so guilty when she found out. She should've had Poe send the droid to her years ago. He would be returning home with her to Driea. The girls will love him immensely. 

Soon Aja is hungry and Rey orders her a meal. The child eats ravenously and is obviously exhausted. She panicks when Rey tells her to sleep. Rey has to curl up next to her so she will sleep. 

_Don't be mad_ …..she whispers out into the bond. 

_Do not do that again._ Rey flinches. She rarely made Ben angry and she'd not been afraid of him in a long time. His growl is always loud but he never ever bites. At least not outside of the bed, she thinks, throwing that thought at him. His face turns red. 

_Quit distracting me, woman. I don't do that to you._

_What? Shut me out or bite me?_ She smiles coyly.

_You drive me insane. Nuts. Crazy. Are you still okay?_

_Yes Ben I'm okay._

_Are you coming home?_

She sighs, looking at this sleeping child next to her. She can't leave her. She doesn't have anybody. Rey has to find a way to get her home. Ben is not going to like this at all.

_There's been a development…._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	19. Aja

Ben sighs. There's no point in trying to talk her out of it. She's…..Rey. She's never been talked out of anything. Once she sets her heart on something she goes 100%.

He should know. He was the _something_ she set her heart on and everyone else be damned she got him. Not that he fought her, at all. He set to have her before she even knew it. 

This, whatever this was, was personal. Ben knew immediately. A lost girl….searching for her family….alone in the universe. Yeah, he saw it. 

He'd pissed her off well and good when he asked her what about her girls. Her own girls. 

_Have you forgotten that you have your own daughters?_

Oh, he knew that look. That was her "Starkiller Base" look. He'd unleashed "Starkiller" Rey. Shit. She didn't even speak and he was apologizing. 

_Okay! I'm sorry! Damn stop shooting blasters at me with your eyes! You are right._

_I didn't say anything Ben…..what am I right about?_

_The girl needs you until she's back with her family. I get it. I get what you're doing…._

Oh shit. Why can't he just shut up? 

_WHAT am I doing, exactly?_

_Well….what I meant was…you know? She's searching for her family…...like you did. You are trying to fix what happened to you._

_I am not. I'm not seeing myself in her. I'm just staying a bit longer until we can find her family. I'm not making this about me…._

He throws his hands up. 

_Okay okay, fine. Stay there. We are good. The girls learned to jump the crevice today._

Rey almost broke her neck snatching her head up. 

_YOU LET THEM JUMP THE CREVICE??_

Well fuck….he thought. 

_Excuse me weren't you_ _scavaging_ _inside huge as hell starships, ALONE at 5 years old?? C'mon Rey, give me some credit. I can grab them with the force if I need to. They are so proud of themselves right now._

Now he's mumbling to himself out loud

"Tells ME to chill then gets all pissy about them jumping a crevice knowing DAMN WELL I can protect them. I swear she never trusts me….."

_I_ _can still hear you._

_Good._

_I'm sorry._

_You should be._

_I love you. Good night Ben._

_Yeah yeah, love you too._

He senses that she's too exhausted to keep up the connection and she fades away. 

He's actually very moved by her sensitive heart for the girl. He just hopes she can find the girls family soon. His arms ache from how much he misses holding her. He doesn't get to spend much time missing her for he hears little feet entering the room. 

"Yes you can sleep with Papa, c'mon" he lifts both half asleep yawning girls into the bed. 

He sends Rey one quick vision of the three of them before he falls asleep. He knows it makes her happy. 

~*~

Rey has grown quite fond of the young Aja. She considered moving the girl into her quarters but she remembers her late night conversations with Ben. Rey doesn't want Aja to wonder why she is talking (giggling, blushing, sighing) to the air. She misses Ben terribly and sometimes their conversations turn quite…. _heated._ Ben has become quite good at talking dirty. It's their only way of connecting... passionately. Force knows she misses that man in several ways. 

Aja has perplexed her. They haven't had any luck locating her family but Aja hasn't gotten as upset as Rey thought she'd be. The girl is becoming too attached to Rey. 

"Are you sure your family is still on the planet?" Rey asks her one morning in the mess hall. 

"Oh yes, they wouldn't leave, not without me"

"Aja, are you sure? We've found so many other parents as of now. I'm growing concerned"

"Just keep looking. I'm sure they will be found soon" Aja answers, shoveling food in her mouth. 

"Aja, slow down. You are going to get yourself sick"

"How old are your children?"

"Um...they are four years old. Why do you ask?"

"Oh they are twins?"

"Yes, both girls"

"What are their names?"

D-O comes flying up to them. He is quite taken with Aja. Rey is surprised. D-O is usually very shy, not speaking to many humans. 

"Hello D-O!" Aja reaches down and pets him. Even though he's a droid, he reacts strongly to touch. Rey and Finn also pet him. He's such a sweet thing. Rey was so taken by him when she found him. She loves BB8 but D-O is closer to her heart. Perhaps because of the abuse he endured. Rey can relate. 

"I'm so glad you have a new friend. Have you made any other friends?" Rey asks.

"No. I don't have a need for friends" Aja snaps back. 

Rey is taken aback by her sudden defenses. A young girl has no need for friends?

"Do you have friends back home?" 

"No. Like I said, no need"

"A young girl like you needs friends"

Aja reverts her eyes. Obviously this is a sensitive subject.

"Friends become... liabilities"

Rey ponders this answer. Aja reminds her so much of herself at this age. There's something so familiar….

Then, just like that, Aja picks up her tray and leaves. Rey calls after her but Aja ignores her. 

Something strange indeed. 

~*~

"So, we are going to blow up the galaxy to look for ten kids?" Poe asks.

"Poe, that's ten families torn apart…." Rey explains.

"Or maybe one family with ten kids?"

"That doesn't make it better"

"Having kids changed you"

"YES IT DID! Until you have your own, Dameron, you don't GET IT! That could be my girls!"

"Okay, okay, don't get all Dameron on me, Solo, I didn't say no. I just don't know what to do, where to go. Plus the finances to fund this. You just don't understand the logistics. I have to figure this out"

He takes a deep breath. "How's the girl? We still have no word on her family. How's she holding up?"

Rey sighs. "She seems...okay. She's a tough one. She's not upset. It's strange"

Poe sits across from Rey, sliding back in his chair and crossing his hands over his chest. 

"Rey, have you considered that she might be lying?"

Rey rubs her hand over her forehead, sighing louder. 

"Yeah, especially after this morning. She said friends are liabilities. That struck a chord. Poe, she's an orphan. You should see her eat. She shovels it in….like…."

"Like someone else I once knew. Like a scavenger I used to know"

"Yes. Yes, that's it. It was painful to watch"

Poe touches Rey's knee, causing her to look up at him.

"It was painful for me to watch too. I just wanted to give you my food. And take everyone else's and give it to you too"

"You sound like Ben"

Poe slaps himself in the chest, grinning that kilowatt smile. "Ow, that hurt"

She punches him. "Shut up, Dameron"

"Is it weird that I'm glad that you've gained weight?"

"Well, I did have twins you know"

"Looks good on you" he wiggles his brows.

"Stop!!" Rey blushes, hitting him again. 

"Sorry, I can't help it Rey. I'll always care about you. I hope you know that. I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable"

At one time Rey thought maybe she had a crush on Poe. Well, to be honest, she did. Then _he_ happened. As much as she liked Poe, it didn't come close to comparing to how she felt about Ben. Actually, Kylo back then. She would always care about Poe but in no way did she harbour those types of feelings now. Poe would always be a flirt. He was right, he couldn't help it. All the reason to keep him and Ben way apart. Worlds apart. 

"No Poe, I'm used to you by now" 

He winks at her and then changes the subject.

"So what are you going to do about Aja? She needs to tell the truth. We are using resources that we can't afford to search. If there's no one to search for, we could try to find her a home"

"She could stay here? She could train to join the Resistance. She's strong and smart. I'll work with her"

"Rey, she needs a mother and father"

"Well, I can't be that to her. Can you imagine Ben? He's already swimming in daughters"

"And he's good at it. I think he could handle it"

Rey beams. "You mean that Poe? You think he's a good father?"

"Hell, I was only with them for a few hours. I had to take a nap on the ship back"

Rey laughs out loud. "Oh they aren't that bad!"

"Little Leia and Little Rey? I don't know how he does it. And then you leave him all alone!"

Rey's mood shifts. She looks down, eyes watering. 

"Hey," Poe grasps her shoulder "you'll be home soon"

"I want them here Poe. Does that make me awful? Ben thinks it's irresponsible to bring them here. But I'm okay with it. Plus, he'd be an asset. He's a great pilot"

"Yeah I remember" Poe concedes with a grunt.

"Then ask him Poe! It would mean a lot to me. He'd be great. He'd be the best…."

Poe raises one eyebrow. Rey rolls her eyes.

"Stop it!! You are just as good as he is! I can't help it. I'm partial"

"Well, I used to be jealous that I lost you to him but I'm over that. You could at least let me keep the 'best pilot' title in your mind"

"You are…. difficult. Still!"

The two friends had missed the constant ribbing. Poe would always be in complete awe of her. He'd never saw anyone overcome what Rey had overcome. Orphan slave to The Last Jedi. He was so proud to call her his comrade. Humbled to call her his best friend. 

"Rey, thank you"

Her brows furrowed. "For what?"

"For coming back. You are giving up a lot coming here just because I asked. So yeah, I owe you. I'll ask him"

She jumps up and grabs him, pulling him into an embrace.

"Thank you! He probably still won't come but thank you"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…just don't tell him I said you look good. I don't need my ass whooped by a tree. I've got a Resistance to run"


	20. Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's becoming too hard to do this without her Dyad....
> 
> The theme song for this chapter is "Forever Bound" by Von Grey. 
> 
> Seriously one of my favorite Reylo songs

Lying in her quarters, she is so lonely. She misses him. How did she ever live without him? Why, oh why did she fight and resist him? That Rey, that girl Rey, had no idea what beheld her. That beautiful man, he was the everything she'd ever needed. If she ever had a doubt over the last six years, which she had _not,_ thank you very much, being apart from him for this short….long…..time, would have erased it all. 

She misses her girls. Those sweet little balls of fire born out of a desperate love. 

Her darling Driea, full of kindness and compassion. Her heart is like an open book, which touches and terrifies Rey at the same time. She will love deeply when she loves. Just like her Mama loves her Papa, Leia loved Han and Padme' loved Anakin. Though Force help the man when that day comes. Rey smiles at the thought of Ben Solo handling that. 

Then there's her feisty take-on-the-galaxy Leiliana. Fire burns in her bones. Fierce and passionate. She will right the wrongs, defend the weak, fix the injustices. In some ways, much like her father. Yes he had spent the first thirty years of his life reeking havoc. Then he saved a scavenger from Jakuu. After that, he became a man who sought to make things better for others. Leiliana will pick up that legacy one day. Ben was right to nickname her Leia. Rey has a suspicion that her daughter will follow in her grandmother's footsteps. 

She wishes she were home. Her beautiful little home that he built. Her first real home. Her sanctuary that Ben made for her and she in turn for him. She can't wait to return there. 

She sighs and whispers...

_Ben...._

He hears her instantly.

_My love….._

Tears cloud her vision at the sight of his face.

_Hello….._

She feels large fingers wiping her tears, his forehead leaning in to touch her own. 

_What is it my sweet Rey?_

_I miss you…._

_I miss you too…._

_Where are they?_

_Asleep, in their room._

_For now..._

_Yes, for now…._

_They still come in there every night?_

_Yes. It's okay, I like them nearby. I sleep better._

_You're a good Papa…._

_You're a good Mama…._

She feels his hand cup her face. She grabs it with her own and rolls to her side, holding his hand under her cheek. She can feel it but not the warmth that it would hold if he were actually here.

_"Not right now I'm not, Ben I want to come home"_

_"First off, you are a wonderful mother. Secondly, come home. Please"_

_"They need me here. This is important Ben. Don't make me feel worse"_

She sits up in her bed. He pulls his hand away and sits up too, facing her. He gently rubs her knees.

_"I know Rey. I know. I'm sorry"_

_"Ben I wish you were here, you are such a good pilot. The best I know. Don't you dare tell Poe I said that"_

He laughs _"I can't not tell him"_

_"Please come help us"_

_"Rey, stop. We promised ourselves that one of us would stay with the girls, I won't, I can't have them living on a base"_

_"Ben, it's not permanent"_

_"That's what they said! They always told me 'it's just for now, not forever' but nothing was forever. It was always temporary"_

_"I know, I know'_

Not wanting to fight during their alone time, he changes the subject to one that is much more pleasant. 

_"What are you wearing under that sheet?"_

_"Wouldn't you like to know?"_

_"Yup, show me, Mrs. Solo"_

She drops the sheet and he sees his shirt. It swallows her beautiful frame. Kriff, he misses her body. Something about his clothing on her makes him feel possessive. Like he wraps her up, _owns_ her.

She smiles and his heart skips. _"I stole it. It smells like you"_

"Our bed smells like you. Take it off"

" _I'm not having force sex with you Ben"_

 _"Please...."_ he whines, _"I miss you"_

_"It's not going to be the same"_

_"You felt my touch on_ _Ahch_ _-To, you can now"_

She feels a pull on the shirt as it lifts over her head. He groans at the appearance of her bare chest.

She feels his large hands on her breasts and falls backwards in her bed, moaning his name. She feels the rough skin of his thumbs move over her nipples, his palms cupping her. His lips trace over her throat, moving lower. She gasps as his mouth settles on her breast.

She _melts_ as he explores her body. His fingers move lower. She spreads her thighs as he whispers how much he loves watching her come, how badly he needs to see her writhe and moan and pant his name. He tells her how powerful she makes him feel when he sees her climax, knowing only he can take her there. This is his.

"It's like you are my kingdom Rey" he speaks out loud, then resumes ravishing her breasts with his mouth.

"Oh Ben I love your mouth on me, don't stop, please don't stop"

She feels his proud grin against her skin and thrusts her hips into his hand. He quickly is reminded that she too can make him groan.

She feels the pressure from his fingers inside of her, his thumb circling her clit. He takes his time, feeling for that perfect spot inside and stroking until she is nearly screaming his name, grinding wildly against his hand. Somehow in the midst of her passion she manages to wrap her fist around his cock and brings him into the wave with her. They both come together, his mouth sucking lavishly on her nipple. They come down off the high of each other slowly, panting and gasping. Rey hopes the walls are sound proof. 

This is amazing. She didn't even know it was possible. Even still….she can't feel the heat from his skin. She can't kiss him or wrap her legs around him as he lay on her. She can't bury her face in his neck and bite down as she comes, marking him as hers. 

All she can do is lay there, fulfilled physically but still lacking the intimacy. She is right, it's not the same. 

He watches her until his eyes close. He wants to smell her hair, feel her breath against his chest all night long. He falls asleep thinking, I can't do this anymore. She needs me and I need her, he thinks, I need her to come home. 

They dream together.

Their dreams are wild, passionate, like in the beginning, in that one room suite, when they first discovered each other physically. Then their dreams become long and soft and slow, burning like a steady bonfire. Then they are laughing, joking, building their home together. Then they are sparring, training, learning together how to be stronger, quicker, smarter. 

There are glimpses of their vows, on the lake, just them two, promising forever. 

Exegol. He runs to her, desperate to save her. She finally knows. She finally sees Ben. Her Ben. The man she wanted. He's here.

Their dreams never seem to be about that horrifying moment when he found her, gone, ripped away. They do dream of that moment they finally, finally embrace and kiss. She never knew he could be so beautiful as he smiled. He actually smiled. 

Then they are clashing, waves roaring. At the time it had been a battle. But now, now it's a passion play. Intimate in a way only they could be. Instead of their bodies crashing together, it was their sabers. They've both admitted how turned on they were by each other that day. It's a strange thing no one else would understand. 

They fight together in the throne room, united against a common enemy. He is enthralled by her. He feels her hand grab him as they dance a lethal dance. 

The shuttle when he saw her inside, her hair spilling down, catching him unaware as her eyes watched him. Then the turbolift. He watches her lips, dying inside to finally kiss her. 

There is a hut. Two hands touching. The fire grows….

She dreams of catching him shirtless, raising up feelings she'd fought so hard to hide. He dreams of feeling her lips on every inch of his bare chest. 

She watches his face as he sees her call the saber. The saber in the snow. He is amazed, enraptured. 

It is you….

He watches her sleep, hell-bent on finding the map in her head. But… he has never saw such beauty, such fire. She never thought under that helmet was such a handsome man. Lost yet beautiful. A fire was lit that is still burning, only hotter, bigger, stronger...

_What girl?_

They twist and tumble together in their dreams. Grasping each other, trying to hold on. Finally grabbing hold, finally. Remembering together all those glorious moments they experienced. Their dreams get them through their current aching for each other. 

They wake up alone, like all those years ago.

 _"Ben?"_ she whispers into her pillow as the sun rises.

_"I'm here Rey, I_ _never_ _left"_

_"Hold me, don't let go"_

_"I never will let go"_

_"I miss you"_

_"I miss you too"_

Each yearning for the other, desperate to get to the next night, when they will dream together again. 


	21. Tension

Rey and Zorii are eating breakfast in the mess hall. Aja is out somewhere with Poe. She's taken quite the interest in seeing how things run around here. Rey cannot get her to admit that there is no family. She's asked Poe to show her around, give her some type of training. Rey knows the girl will likely never leave the Resistance, so getting her some entry training will allow her to blossom and grow here. Today Poe is training new pilots. The girl showed some excitement over possibly flying one day. The maternal instinct in Rey is quite proud of Aja. She's a joy to watch and quite good at picking up on new skills. 

"So, are you going home soon?" Zorii asks.

"I don't know. I feel like, I'm not done here"

"You mean with Aja?" 

"Well, yes but not just that. The threat isn't over. Hux is still out there. And something…." Rey pauses.

"Something….what?"

"I can't quite explain. The force….it's like...an alarm... something's not right. A disturbance, that's what Luke used to call it"

"But you don't know what it is?"

"Whatever it is, it's bad….I can't go until it's settled"

"How does Ben feel about you staying?"

The mention of him causes her to quit eating. She pushes her tray away. 

Zorii looks concerned. "Rey, I couldn't help but notice... I mean, I am with you a lot now. You don't finish your meals. You are losing weight and girl, you don't need to. Why aren't you eating more?"

"I'm just not hungry, Zorii. I grew up not eating much. It's fine. I don't require much"

Rey stands and walks away. Zorii watches her friend, her concern growing. She finishes her meal and leaves the mess hall to find Rey. They are supposed to be sparring together. 

She finds Rey sitting on a boulder. This seems to be a spot she likes, Zorii having found her here often. She sits next to Rey, not saying anything. She can tell when words are not sufficient. She waits.

"This is harder than I ever thought it would be" 

Zorii reaches over and takes her friend's hand. She has no words of advice. 

"Harder than seven years ago?"

Rey sighs and digs the toe of her boot into the dirt, kicking a small rock away. 

"Much harder"

Zorii continues to look far off. She knows that Rey is much guarded. She doesn't open up. Poe had told her that much. 

"Girl, I don't know. The journey that you traveled, it's pretty much legend in the galaxy now. Jedi from Jakku defeats Emperor of the Siths with the help of the Jedi Killer, Supreme Leader of the First Order _after_ impaling him _with_ his own saber, healing him and turning him around _at the same time_ after denying her love for him for a year. But that's a walk in the park compared to being away from said Supreme Leader for what, two months?"

Rey smiles at their joined hands. "Well, when you put it like that….."

"If _this_ is harder than that, all I can say is he _must_ be damn good in bed girl"

Rey lets out a small squeak and throws her head back in laughter so suddenly that she slides off the back of the boulder and hits her head on the tree behind them.

Zorii simply watches Rey struggle like a turtle flipped over on its shell while laughing like an insane person.

Rey goes from laughing to hollering for help to laughing to giving up and laying there, helpless. The resigned look on her face makes Zorii bend over, unable to breathe, gasping between bouts of laughter. 

Poe and Aja are walking nearby and hear the commotion. They follow the sound only to come upon Rey stuck behind this massive rock, only her feet showing.

"What in the galaxy?" Poe hollers over the top of his fiancee's cackling.

He pulls Rey up, looking back and forth at the women. Aja is stifling her own laughter, not even sure what is happening. 

"Thank...you….Poe….your...woman...is….crazy…." Rey stammers out between giggles.

Zorii is gasping, calming herself, wiping tears away. 

"That was great! She's like, _the_ most powerful woman in the universe….stuck between a rock and a tree!!!"

Poe's eyebrow is almost touching his hair line, a smirk across his lips. "And what exactly caused her to get stuck there?"

"I simply said if missing Ben was harder than trying to kill him seven years ago he must be damn good in……"

Rey covers her friends mouth quickly.

"SHUT UP ZORII!!!"

Poe facepalms, shaking his head and walking away, grabbing Aja's arm. 

"Come on Aja, clearly these women are a _bad influence_ today"

"Wait a minute! Damn good in what?? I wanna know!" Aja hollers out as Poe continues to drag the girl away. 

The two women burst out laughing again.

Zorri grabs her arm. "C'mon Rey, you are going to finish your breakfast if I have to feed it to you. I will not be answering to your husband if you get yourself too skinny being lovesick over missing him. And then after that I'm kicking your ass with my new quarterstaff"

They are still laughing on their way back to the mess hall when suddenly they hear arguing. 

"Stop! Just go away!"

It is Finn and Jannah. They are fighting. 

Rey's eyes go quickly to Zorii. Rey doesn't know what to do. 

They watch as Finn reaches out to Jannah, only to be rejected. He is furious and walks away, throwing his hands in the air. He never saw the women watching. 

Rey starts after Finn, desperate to fix the situation.

Zorii grabs her arm "No Rey, leave him alone. Look, I know he's a very dear friend but to be honest, he's a dick"

Rey does not like hearing this. To her, Finn is an amazing person. 

"Zorii, don't say that. Finn is sweet and kind"

She turns to look at Rey. 

"Rey, he's already hurt Rose. That girl was crazy about him. Then Jannah comes here after Exegol. Think about it. Jannah and Finn have way more in common. Both former troopers who defected and ran. Poor Rose didn't stand a chance. He broke her heart. He wasn't very kind about it and immediately started seeing Jannah. He didn't even give Rose time to cope with it. He was all over the base, holding Jannah's hand, his arm around her. It was so sad to watch Rose see it. I know you think he's great but I don't. Even Poe has been angry at him"

Before Rey could react to this information, Jannah is walking towards them, sniffling, her hand over her brow, looking down. She is obviously humiliated that there were witnesses.

Zorii steps out towards her. Jannah throws her other hand up, continuing to walk.

"Don't" Jannah says to Zorii "just, don't, not now"

Rey takes the opportunity to slip away and go find Finn. She finds him standing near the trees, hand on hip, fingers rubbing his closed eyes. She walks up carefully and lays her hand on his arm. He jumps. Obviously his force abilities are overridden by his stress. 

"I'm sorry, I thought you'd sense my approach"

He bends at the waist, hands on his knees. 

"No Rey, I don't really sense much anymore. I'm too busy for all that now"

"Finn, are you okay?"

"No Rey, I'm not okay, just go. Don't worry about me. I'm fine"

Rey furrows her brow, hurt by Finn's coldness. This is not normal for him. Granted, she has not spent much time around him in a long while but this is not the Finn she remembers.

"Um, okay. I'll go"

Finn looks up, sighing at himself.

"No, Rey, stop. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be that way. I just, it's complicated. I shouldn't take it out on you though"

"It's fine. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just need a minute. She needs a minute. It'll all work out. It always does"

"Finn, I miss talking to you. You haven't said much to me since I've been here. I guess things are different now but I still care about you. Don't push me away"

He stands straighter, his eyes becoming softer, then harder again. He opens and closes his fists.

"I'm not, Rey. I'm just busy, is all. Besides, you've been spending so much time with Zorii and Poe and that girl, I just figured they were what you needed"

"Her name is Aja and just because I spend time with them doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you. You are my best friend Finn. You and Poe"

"I was, Rey. Things have changed. That was years ago. You are a different person now"

She cocks her head to one side. "What? No I'm not. I'm still Rey"

"Rey, don't do this. I knew Rey of Jakku. Not Rey... _Solo_ "

The way he said her last name was like a word that left a bad taste in his mouth. The tone that he took, the look in his eye, the sudden tension, it reveals so much. He is angry. Angry at her. And that makes her angry at him. 

She turns and walks away. He doesn't stop her. 

She walks up to Zorii, eyes narrowed. She grabs her friend by the arm. 

"I need to spar. Fuck eating"


	22. Arguments

"Swing up like this but when you do, you must remember your stance, Zorii. Keep your feet planted but don't lock your knees. And watch your elbows, remember? Never lock them into place. Your opponent's hit should be felt in your muscles, never your elbows, okay?"

"Alright, alright, let's go again"

Rey swings upward, striking hard then bends to strike down.

"Good! Much better. Whew, hold on"

She reaches for her water, sitting down. Sweat pours off of her face. Zorii grabs a cloth and tosses it. 

"Should you go check on Jannah?"

"Yeah, I guess I should. Those two wear me out"

"So this is a normal thing? Them fighting?"

"Oh yeah, honestly I don't understand why they stay together. I don't know why two people would exhaust so much energy"

Rey smiles.

Zorii watches her smile, perplexed.

"What?" She asks Rey "what?"

Rey looks down, her smile growing, "It's, um, complicated. I get it. It's like, the energy is….redirected. Like, it's a passion play. He makes her so angry but the anger rolls into….passion. Fire. Then it rolls into...perplexity. Then love. Like, a fire that grows hotter then deeper….I don't know...like I said….complicated"

Zorii looks off past Rey's shoulder.

"Yes, I get that. Maker knows Poe and I fought horribly. But _then_ there's the making up" she adds with a grin, wiggling her brows.

Rey laughs at her friend. "You really do talk about sex constantly!!"

"Yeah and I'm noticing you blush less and less when I do! I'll get your secrets yet Rey Solo!"

"No no, I don't kiss and tell." Rey smiles.

"I don't want to hear about kissing I want to hear about the rest!" Zorri winks. 

"Oh you!" Rey does blush this time."Get up and let me kick your ass!"

~*~

Rey sits across from Poe, tears welling in her eyes.

"More? So we took those back and he just snatches more to replace them? Oh no Poe. What about the parents? Did he kill them?"

"I'm afraid many bodies were found, Rey. No way to know if the bodies are the parents. I suspect so, though"

Rey can't stop herself. She covers her face and weeps.

A warmth wraps around her. 

_Go back to your quarters….I'll be there…._

Rey stands up. "I need to be alone Poe. We will talk strategy tomorrow, okay?"

Poe stands and hugs her gently. "I understand. Give some thought to it, okay?"

She nods and turns. Right as she gets to his door Poe calls out to her. She looks over her shoulder. 

"Tell 'the tree' to take good care of you, alright?" Poe adds with a wink. 

"I will." She smiles sadly.

Rey enters her room and sees Ben waiting, sitting on her bed, wearing only his sleeping pants, his legs stretched out. She immediately starts crying. He pats his thigh and she crawls across her bed into his lap. She feels his strong arms envelop her and she buries her face in his neck. She pulls her knees into her chest so he can swallow her small frame up with his much larger frame. He rests his chin on her head and holds her very tight. She feels completely cocooned in him, even though he isn't really here with her.

"Shh, I got you. Breathe…." He whispers over and over. 

If she tries very hard she can feel his warmth, smell his masculine scent. That part is using her imagination. She has to push away how much she mourns his absence from her reality. 

"This is only the beginning, isn't it Ben? Hux won't stop, will he? Not until he has thousands"

"I'm afraid so, sweetheart. I'm afraid so"

She sits up, stretching her legs but staying in his lap. "I don't understand, how can he control that many? Something is off. How can he know who is force sensitive?"

"I told you, there's got to be a force sensitive with him." Ben has rolled this over in his mind for weeks. He can feel, _something_. It's like the force is pulling at him. But for what? What is he missing? Who could be helping Hux?

"Ben, can you help me?"

"How?"

"Meditate with me. Connect to the force with me. Maybe the force will show us"

"Ugh, I hate meditation…."

"Just try it"

He grunts but consents, reluctantly. Meditating requires being still, not his forte'. And right at this moment it requires him to let go of his lover, also not his forte'.

She climbs from his lap and he crosses his legs. She does the same and their knees touch. Both close their eyes and sink into the force. 

They attempt to focus but find themselves in a struggle. The force is fighting them, obviously discontent that they are so far apart. 

Rey sighs, speaking the words that Ben knows to be the truth. "The force is not happy. You know why"

"Yes Rey, I know"

"It's not angry like before....It's….sad."

"Before?" Ben knows but he wants to hear her say it.

"Before...when we were Kylo Ren and Rey, enemies. It was angry with us. The force wanted us together"

Ben smiles, reaching over and pulling his wife back into his lap, nuzzling her neck with his nose. "And remember when we got together? How the force hummed with content? I'd never felt it like that. It was like, fireworks going off"

"I think the fireworks were _us_ , just us." She giggles, wrapping her arms around his waist.

She stays that way for several minutes and then pushes back from him. "Ben, I can't cuddle right now, I have work to do. Are you going to help me?"

"No, I'm going to hold you. Clock out and let me. It's late there. I can tell. You need rest. Poe doesn't expect you to stay up all night solving this." He pulls her back to his chest. "Now, sleep. I'll stay until the girls come to me"

"But Ben, those kids need me to help them"

"Those kids _need_ you take care of yourself so you can figure out how to rescue them"

He runs his hands over her back. "And **_why_** do I feel your ribs?" He sandwiches her waist between his hands. He pulls her away from him, his eyes wide as he looks at his thumbs touching at her belly button. His fingers also touch at her back. 

"Take your tunic off"

He pushes her out of his lap.

"Ben, I'm not having Force sex with you"

"I mean it! Off!" He points up.

"Well, I guess I'll change into my nightshirt" She concedes without admitting she's giving into him.

When he sees her naked body his eyes narrow. "You aren't eating. Again. Why??"

"I'm fine Ben." She pulls his shirt over her head and lies down next to him. She starts to pull the front of his pants down. 

He grabs her hand, onto her distraction method. "Nope. Not falling for it." He grabs and pulls up the hem of his shirt on her body. "Rey! How much weight have you lost??"

"I needed to lose weight." She squirms to get away from his hands as he squeezes her ribcage. 

"No you did not! Why aren't you eating? You promised me!"

"I am eating!"

He crosses his arms, staring at her. "What did you eat today?"

"Well, a protein bar at breakfast and an apple for lunch"

"And dinner…..?"

"You told me to come here to see you!"

"Noooo, don't do that. That was after dinnertime"

"I was meeting with Poe at dinnertime'

"Well hell I know he ate dinner! I knew you'd do this. You always do this when you stress. And when I'm not with you! You aren't on Jakku! You can eat now!"

He shakes his head. "I knew you'd do this. As soon as you left, I knew it"

"I told you, I'm not used to eating much"

"You told me that SIX YEARS AGO! You aren't scavaging now!"

"If you are going to yell at me, you can leave"

"Fine, I will! Go EAT!"

Right as he starts fading away he yells out. "Dammit Rey, I love you!"

"Dammit Ben, I know!!" She yells back at him, watching as he disappears.

She opens her cabinet, grabbing another protein bar and a piece of fruit, falling into her chair and pulling her legs up. 

_Are you happy now??_

_Yes._

Both feel the force tremble with frustration.


	23. Meeting

78

That's the new number.

78 children stolen. 54 parents dead.

Rey sits in Poe's office, stirring the drink he'd mixed for her. Rey is not a drinker except for certain reasons. And this is a good reason to drink. 

But she sets it aside, changing her mind. She needs to think, not escape. She needs to plan. 

"Poe, we can't just return the children to widows. Do you realize it is a death sentence on some of these planets? A widow with children barely stood a chance on Jakku. Even if we find them, even if we return them, their lives could end soon after"

Poe keeps his back to her, sighing.

"I know Rey. I know"

Finn and Jannah enter the room. Rey tenses up, not even looking over her shoulder at Finn. Jannah sits next to her. 

"Hello Jannah, how are you?"

Jannah nods, Finn crosses his arms and stands with feet spread behind his recently acquired significant other. Rey feels that possessive nature that she's seen in him. The same possessiveness he used to have over her. Rey isn't jealous, per se. She never felt any romantic feelings for Finn. But she does miss his friendship and his protective ways were one thing that made her feel safe with him. She always knew he had her back. She can't help but feel he no longer cares for her, even as a friend. Clearly he feels betrayed by her. This creates mixed emotions. Part of her feels guilty for hurting him. She also feels anger that he refuses to see that she loves Ben Solo. She didn't fall in love with Ben to hurt Finn. Her heart led and she followed. He will just have to learn to accept that. 

"Hello Finn" she looks up at him, not sure what else to say. Poe looks back and forth at the two, clearly frustrated with the tension. 

"Hey Rey" Finn says back, not even looking at her.

Poe shakes his head, not even hiding his frustration. "Okay guys, here's where we are. I was contacted by someone sympathetic to our mission. Someone from the First Order"

"Are you serious?" Jannah asks.

"Yes, apparently there is a First Order general who is not in agreement with child slavery being reinstated. He's a younger general. I'm not sure if Ben might know him." Poe directs this last sentence at Rey. "We will discuss it later, perhaps Ben might be willing to give me his opinion?" 

"I'm positive he will. He was very vocal about his opposition to the program. That was his first act as new Supreme Leader, ending all abductions of children by the First Order"

Finn shoved his hands further into his sides. "But all current Stormtroopers were still held against their will"

Rey cut her eyes to him. "He was only Supreme Leader for a short time before he defected"

"Oh yes, that short time was spent chasing _you_ , no, _us_ , around the galaxy. He wanted his woman, that much is _obvious_ now"

Rey stands. Jannah hangs her head, studying her hands. Poe glares at Finn. 

"Jannah, do you mind giving us a minute?" Poe speaks through clenched teeth, still staring at Finn. 

"Uh, no, General Dameron" 

Jannah quickly leaves the room.

"Sit down, General" Poe tells him. 

Finn stares back, unmoving.

" _NOW_ "

Finn sits. 

Poe's eyes turn to Rey, softening. "Please sit, General Solo"

Rey recognizes Poe's attempt to remind Finn that they are _leadership_. 

"Finn, remember when we found out? When she told us?"

"Like yesterday, _sir_ "

"Shut up, Finn" Poe pointedly calls out Finn's sarcasm. 

"Remember what you said to me later? When I asked you why you didn't slug Ben?" 

"Uh…" Finn stammers, clearly not wanting to be reminded.

"Finn"

He sighs, looking at his hands, sliding down a bit in his seat. "Yeah"

"Why don't you repeat what you said to me? Because as I recall, you were the supportive one. I was the hothead, not supporting Rey that day. What did you tell me?"

Finn mumbles.

"What was that General? I couldn't hear you." Poe had taken on an authoritative tone. He is done with Finn's attitude.

"I told you it was clear to me how happy Rey was"

" _And_???"

Finn shifts uncomfortably. "I told you that the force showed me Ben's thoughts"

"Go on, Finn" Poe speaks in a gentler tone.

"That Ben loved Rey, really loved her. And that he felt deep remorse and grief for everything he'd done to her. And everyone"

"You said Ben was deeply committed to Rey. Very protective of her. Also very committed to righting his wrongs"

Rey's eyes water at the words that she hears. She had no idea that Finn had said that. She's torn between gratitude and confusion. If Finn felt like that back _then_ , why is he so angry _now_?

"My next question is as your friend, not your boss. Then what the _exact_ _actual_ _FUCK is your fucking problem_? You've got _our_ Rey nearly in tears over here! Any other man, I'd beat the living SHIT out of for upsetting her! You KNOW what she's sacrificed being here!! I'll be DAMNED if you make things harder on her, you asshole!" Poe finishes with a fist slammed into his desk. Rey flinches, her lip quivering harder. Finn hangs his head.

She cannot deal with this. She stands and runs from the room. 

Both men jump up, chasing after her. 

"Rey!! Stop!! Dammit Finn!!" Poe yells.

"I'm not the one who started yelling Poe! You upset her even more!" Finn yells back. 

"I'm just sick of your attitude lately! You are miserable and now you are taking it out on Rey!"

"I'M NOT MISERABLE!!"

"YES YOU ARE AND YOU'RE MAKING US MISERABLE DEALING WITH YOU!!"

Rey had come to a stop around the corner and is listening to these two men, who she loves dearly scream at each other. She reappears, seeking to stop their bickering. 

"Stop"

They both turn and come at her. She instinctively reaches for both while helplessly breaking down in tears. They both wrap her up. She is reminded of all the times she has found herself in the embrace of these two men. Her brothers. 

"I'm sorry Rey" Poe whispers into her hair.

Finn didn't speak but she hears him sniffle, obviously emotional. This is the Finn she knows. A bumbling sweet tender man.

She pulls away, taking Finn's face in her hands, like sisters are prone to do at times.

"Finn, I'm sorry"

Tears escape Finn's eyes. He looks at her, stunned.

"You're sorry, for what?"

She lets go of his face and steps back an inch or two. She feels an uptick in the force and knows her complicated husband is nearby, alerted by her sudden burst of emotions. She knows how he is. The last thing she needs is a _third_ emotional male to contend with. 

"Finn, I'm sorry for hurting you. I know that starting a relationship with Ben Solo hurt you. I know Ben hurt you. I know you felt betrayed by me. I promise I didn't set out to hurt you. I'm sorry. If you cannot be my friend now, I understand. I respect that"

"I could never not be your friend Rey" Finn reaches up and cups her chin in his dark hand. She smiles then feels a slight surge of anger from the bond. She pushes her total commitment at Ben along with a slight push of anger back at him for being difficult. 

"Good. Because I love you, you stubborn man. I've missed you. We have so much to talk about. I'm hurt that you never wrote me"

Rey suddenly realizes the time and that Aja is waiting to eat lunch with her. She steps backwards. 

"I've got to go. Aja is waiting for me. Finn, I mean it. We need to talk"

She turns to go. Just as she goes around the corner she hears Poe. "You didn't apologize for your asshole behavior"

"She left Poe! Didn't you just see her leave?"

"You are stubborn"

"No more than you are!"

"Well at least I didn't make her cry!"

Rey smiles, shakes her head and continues on, focusing on her husband, now aggravated at him.

_Ben….._

_Yeah Yeah Yeah….but did you have to say I love you to him?_

_Yes. Yes I did. Now, shut up._

_Well at least I'm the only one who gets to see you naked…._

_Ben!_

... _gets_ _to bend you over..naked..and make sweet love to you.... repeatedly...._

_BEN!!! You wicked wicked man!_

She stops walking because she is laughing.. He loves to do that to her, throw that wicked sense of humor at her. He still shocks her even after all these years. 

_What? At least you are laughing and not crying. Tell them stop making my wife cry before I come kick their asses._

_Well if that's what it takes to get you here…._

_That'll do it, for sure...also you...naked...bent over your bed tonight... that'll get me there too…._

_**BEN!!!!** _   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	24. Disruption

The plan is to infiltrate the dreadnought, somehow snatch away the children and take away the chance of a new army forming. Stop it before it starts. The new general, the one who had contacted them, seemed to have quite the influence. He assured them that many were on his side, sickened by the sight of the children being held prisoner. 

In Ben's own words, things have changed. With the outright decimation of the First Order back at Exegol, most of the "new" First Order consists of young generals, men who obviously had a different way of seeing things. They, whoever they were, are not in agreement with their Supreme Leader. 

It's still not clear how Armitage Hux had survived. He was not present at Exegol, that much was clear. The last anyone had seen him, he had admitted to being a spy. This revelation had rocked Ben. He had not believed it. Poe, Finn and Chewie's lives had been spared by Hux. _Hux._ Finn had recounted the last words of the ginger headed general, saying that he had turned on Kylo. Just Kylo. Not the First Order. It all made little sense. Ben knew Hux hated him. They had once been civil with each other but Snoke had turned them on each other. All these years later, Ben could admit to himself how he hated that. He hated that at one point, Hux could've even been his friend. His only friend. He suspects now that Snoke was jealous, afraid that if these men had been allowed, they together could've turned on Snoke. Both men had endured strenuous, sickening torture by Snoke. Ben often wondered how Hux had survived, being that he was not Force equipped. Some strange part of him found himself in admiration that Hux had endured all of it. He partially wishes that he could have somehow went to rescue Hux, instead of running away from everything. Running with the woman who had come to consume his every thought and desire. Ben knew he had made the only decision he could have made. But still….if he had gone to save Hux, would this still be happening today? Why had Hux gone from turning his back on the First Order to _leading_ its return? 

So, now his bride is back battling his enemy. Alone, while he stays on this remote planet, caring for the two tiny girls who were his _everything_ . He'd keep them safe, above all. _Above All._

Rey is recognizable, her face having been broadcasted across the galaxy. Somehow Hux knew she had survived, along with Poe Dameron. Kylo Ren was believed to be dead. Finn was a mystery, assumed to be dead but not known to be. No one seemed to know what happened to Kylo, last having been seen fleeing the First Order. He had not told anyone that he was going to Kef Bir. He had to keep that secret, to protect Rey. To protect his obsession. Ben suspects that Hux knew that the _girl_ was all he wanted by that point. Hux knew, he knew that Kylo Ren was only Supreme Leader in title. He knew that Kylo had come to only care about acquiring the _girl_ , though he did not understand _why_. But now Kylo Ren is dead, according to Hux. Which was all Hux ever wanted. 

Rey could not let her face be seen. Neither could Poe. But being the leader of the Resistance, he could not venture into these missions. It was killing him. He was a man of _action_. He wanted to go oh so badly. 

"You can't. You know that" said Rey. 

"I can't stay here, Rey. I can't sit on my ass. I went with you before"

"That was different. We weren't breaking onto a First Order dreadnought"

"I don't care. I need to go"

"You're not going with us, Poe"

_He should go_ , Rey hears Ben whisper into the bond. 

_No he shouldn't, your mother didn't go. She had to stay behind to lead the mission, give orders._

_My mother was an old woman. It was different. Poe needs to go._

_Your mother was never an old woman. She could kick-ass. You know she could. I bet she could've taken you down with one hand tied behind her back._

_You'll get no argument from me on that. Poe needs to go. He'll keep you safe._

_Ohhhh, so that's what it is? I'll keep myself safe thank you very much…._

"What's he saying?" 

Rey looks at Poe. "You can tell now, can't you? You can tell when he is speaking to me?"

"Only because of that look you get"

*What look?"

Zorii speaks, "The same one I get when he walks in the room." She gestures at Poe with a wink. 

Finn grumbles. "Can we get on with this?"

Poe shoots a look at Finn then back at Rey. "What does Ben think?"

She rolls her eyes. "That you should go. But he forgets that his mother stayed on base to lead the missions. Apparently that was _different_ "

_Quit speaking for me._

_Then get your ass here and help us._

She hears her husband growl and laughs.

"What?" Poe asks. 

"He told me to quit speaking for him" 

"Then tell him to get his ass here and help"

Ben sees the _I told you so_ look on her face and ends their conversation, cutting off his thoughts from Rey. 

"He's gone" she says, a rather sad look in her eye. 

"Good." Finn says.

"Shut up Finn" says Poe. At the same time Jannah whispers "Finn! Stop!"

Casting a disgusted look at Finn, he turns and looks to the women in the room. 

"Rey, Jannah, Zorii, Rose, you all and Finn will need to wear uniforms. The spy has assured me that he will make sure the hangar is clear of any troopers or personnel when you arrive. Uniforms will be waiting. You will change and appear to be First Order officers."

"What's his name?" Finn asks, seeming to have gotten control of his anger with Ben being present through the Force. 

"Who?" Poe asks. 

"This general. What's his name?"

"Rothbert. That's what he told me. I don't know if that's his real name though"

"Just like putting a name to all this. Do you have a face to go with it?"

"Yes"

Poe flicks on a holovid. The young general is a dark skinned man, like Finn. Young, handsome.

"Wow, so young." Rose says. 

"They all are. Some even younger than us"

"Rey can't show her face" Finn says. "They know her. They may know mine but she cannot show her face. I won't let her be exposed"

"Good point Finn. So what to do about that?"

"No trooper gear" 

That comment came from Jannah. 

"The kids, they won't trust us with trooper gear on. Plus I won't wear it. It's my only demand, is that okay General Dameron?"

Poe smiles slightly. He has not gotten to know Jannah very well. He knows her story and greatly admires her strength. Plus she deeply loves Finn and has put up with his antics. He knows she is strong. 

"Call me Poe, Jannah. You can call me Poe. You too Rose. I'm still not comfortable with the title. I see its necessity outside these four walls but in here, just call me Poe. We are all equal here"

"Yes sir... Poe…" she stammers "I hope I'm not being difficult...I just...I can't wear the trooper gear. Not ever again"

Finn reaches and takes his girlfriend's hand in his. She looks at him lovingly. 

"Me neither" Finn is looking at Jannah but speaking to everyone else. 

Rey looks on, trying not to glance over at Rose. She needs to know more about what has occured between these three in her absence. Last she saw, Finn looked at Rose with those eyes. She senses no jealousy from Rose though. There was definitely a story here. She'd ask Zorii later. 

"What can we do to disguise Rey? Or just leave her here?" 

_Yes…._

Ben's back. 

_No….._ Rey says to him. _But don't leave….I need you here._

Ben sighs, frustrated. 

"I'm going" Rey says out loud "Let me think it over. I'll figure out a disguise"

"So," Poe interjects "First Order officers uniforms for everyone but Rey, that's decided. Now, General Rothbert assures me that he will make sure we can get _to_ the children. There will be caretaker droids in the room with the children. No officers are around the children, this I know"

"Keeps them isolated" Jannah adds. "That way they don't form attachments"

"Thank you for that Jannah" Poe adds. "They will be easy to take out and Rothbert says any alarms from them being destroyed will not sound. He will deal with that. So then the children will be moved to our ship"

"Why do we need Rey there?" Finn asks. "We can do this without her"

_I swear if I keep agreeing with this dude…_

_Hush…._ Rey makes a face at Ben.

"We need a force sensitive, Finn. You know that. These children need her presence. She can quell any fears they have through the Force. You've already seen it"

Poe turns to Rey "Maybe Aja?"

"NO" Rey says forcefully "she's a child Poe"

"She's tough. She's going to be a warrior one day. You need to start training her Rey"

"I'm not a Master, Poe, you know that"

_Yes you are Rey...you can be._

"Ben is still teaching me"

Rose speaks up. "Wait, Ben's your Master?"

"In more ways than one" says Zorii, wiggling her brows at Rey. 

"Zorii!" literally everyone in the room hollers at her at once. 

_I really really like her…._ Ben speaks mischievously.

_You can go now…._

_Nah, I'm good…._

"ANYWAYS" speaks Poe, shooting a look at his girlfriend. Zorii just smiles back. 

"Ummm...yes..technically I'm still his Padawan. I haven't finished my training. He's much stronger in the Force than I am"

_Bullshit...I now declare you graduated...go...kick ass my Padawan. I just kept training you so I could keep fucking you under the waterfall._

Rey had chose the wrong time to drink water. She snorted and water shot out of her nose. The others reached out, confused.

That wicked grin was right in her line of sight.

_That rock in the alcove...perfect for perching your pretty naked ass on…._

"Oh Kriff, Ben stop!!" She hollers out loud. 

"What?" hollered out everyone but Zorii. She knew Ben loved to fluster his poor wife with dirty talk at the worst possible times. 

Rey, busy wiping her now bright red face just shook her head. "Apparently I just graduated from Jedi training"

Poe looks at her strangely "This is _so weird._ I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Tell him just get his ass here. We'll help with your girls. He's got to stop doing this. He's too disruptive."

"You act like he's better behaved in person." Rey tells Poe. 

"Well, at least he's got a good sense of humor!" Zorii adds. 

"I can't work with him" 

That came from Finn. Poe looks at him pointedly. Before he can say anything, Rose speaks.

"Grow up Finn, you are a traitor to the First Order just like Ben is. You were a mere stormtrooper. He was the fucking LEADER of the whole shitstorm. Your immaturity is astounding. This has more to do with Ben being your old boss and you know it. It also has more to do with him almost killing you. Just grow the fuck up. We need him and you are just being a complete dickhead"

With that, Rose walks out, leaving everyone with mouths hanging open. Poe finally speaks after gathering himself. 

"Well, that was what needed to be said" 

Finn walks out, slamming his fist into the wall out in the corridor. 

"Thanks for waiting till you left my office!" Poe calls out to him. 

Rey squirms. She hates this. Ben seems to have left the room also. 

Poe sits next to Rey. "I meant what I said. Ben needs to be here. I'm not just asking as your friend. I'm asking as the Leader of the Resistance. I need his insight and abilities. Tell him I'll protect your girls like they are mine. They will become the first priority of The Resistance. The granddaughters of our former leader, Leia. We need the entire Solo family here. It just, seems right. Your family is the roots. It will be okay"

Rey smiles "My family is the roots"

"Yes, your family. The family you deserved. You were born to be a Skywalker. A Solo. Leia's so proud to have you as her daughter. I saw it back then and I feel it now. Kriff, I miss her so much"

"She's so proud of you Poe"

"I hope so. I think of her every day. Talk to Ben, okay?"

"I'll try"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	25. Disguise

The mission is today.

Rey fidgets. She's always nervous but today especially. It doesn't help that she couldn't spend time with Ben last night. Driea had a bellyache and Ben couldn't spare any time. Apparently only Papa rubbing her belly nonstop helped. She did sigh while watching him tend to their sweet girl though. Every time she sees him with their girls she falls more and more in love with him. He's a good Papa.

Rey would be worried except she strongly suspects that her daughter just needed attention. Still, she feels guilty that she's not there. One day she can explain to them why Mama had to go. She misses her babies so bad it hurts physically at this point. 

The mission team meets one last time right before departure. 

"So, we are clear? Everyone knows what to do?" Poe asks. 

He knows they do. He's quite nervous this time. After all this is 100% enemy territory. Nowhere to run or hide except back on their own ship. 

Now Poe wishes Ben was here. He knows the dreadnoughts like the back of his hand, having been in charge of several. Rey had tried to talk him into coming but he will not even consider it. But she feels him struggling to stay away. It's been over 3 months since Rey left. It wasn't supposed to be this long. 

They board the transport. Finn and Rose are piloting the ship. Rey fought to be the pilot but it remains crucial that she not be seen. Landing the transport inside the massive dreadnought may not be the best way to keep her face hidden.

Rey and Zorii had come up with quite the disguise for Rey. Zorii's smuggler's outfit and helmet. Rey is convinced that there's no way she could fit into it well.

"Zorii, no. I don't have your…umm... _curves_

or _boobs_. There's no way that will fit right on me."

"Put the thing on already"

"I think we can find something else. Surely. Anything else. Anything at all"

"Well, a trooper uniform won't work Rey. Why would First Order officers be escorting a Trooper?? Put the _damn thing on._ "

Rey did it just to shut her friend up.

"Holy shit Rey, look at you! I knew you had the tits! Those hips too! Wow girl look at your ass!"

Rey turned in front of the mirror. It'll do, she guesses. 

"Ugh, my hips are so damn wide now. Twins…."

"I'm sure your husband isn't complaining. I thought you said you wanted more curves when you were younger. Damn women, we always want what we don't have. We get it and still complain…"

"Yeah, that's true. So it's not bad?" Rey asked, turning in the mirror.

"Rey...you look hot"

"As hot as you do in it?"

"As hot as I look in it."

"I wish I had your confidence"

"Yeah, well, it's a gift. You have the force. We all have gifts" Zorii adds with a wink. 

Rey has to practice with the helmet. She needs to be proficient at putting it on and removing it, in case she needs to. 

"That's it. You got it. You can handle this"

"Maker, Zorii, how do you deal with this? This is heavy"

"That's why I have arms like a man." Zorii adds with a laugh.

"If I have to fight, you'll have to grab this thing. No way I can fight in this"

"You'll get used to it but you know I'll have your back. I'll be right next to you"

_Rey?_

Zorii instantly recognizes that _look_ on Rey's face. She leaves the room quickly. She has the feeling that Rey will need to be alone for this conversation. 

_Yessss…….?_

Ben's eyes are wide, his chin practically laying on his chest. He closes his mouth and swallows, slowly. He reaches his hand out then stops. He's _shaking._

_Holy Fuck. HOLY FUCK. Rey, seriously, are you trying to kill me? Maker above what are you wearing? And please oh please can you bring it home?_

_Ben….you are crazy….this belongs to Zorii. You like it?_

_That's your disguise? Are you sure this is a good idea? Every man on the whole damn dreadnought is going to be_ **_staring_ ** _at you!_

_Damn…. Holy shit. Rey….I am so hard right now looking at you. Damn woman...just look at yourself. Can you see yourself?_

_Yes….there's a mirror in front of me._

_Turn around…_

Rey turns, tossing one hip out. She loves how sexy Ben makes her feel. She doesn't get why he thinks she's sexy but she enjoys his attention.

_Maker….your ass…..I'm mentally calculating how long it would take me to get there….damn...your hips…_

_Ben?_

_Ben…..._

_Ben….I have to go to the transport now…_

_Huh? Oh yeah….shit! Baby, please be careful….damn I wish I was there!_ (Rey hears his fist land on something) _Of course, I'd probably be no fucking good use right now staring at my wife while drooling….please be careful. I'm here. I'm watching._

_I wish you were really here Ben. I can't do this much longer without you. I need you._

_I love you Rey Solo_

_I love you too_

Zorii sticks her head in the door. "Ready?"

"Yeah, let's do this"

Rey walks out and Poe turns around, a slight one sided grin coming across his face. 

Zorii just looks at him. "Don't you need to be somewhere else, General?"

"Yes ma'am." He turns to go, his fiancee just shaking her head. 

Finn arrives alone and stops. He looks at Rey and then Zorii and then Rey, who has since removed the helmet. 

His eyes freeze on Rey the second time as he realizes exactly what Rey is wearing. He looks down to her boots then back up to her face, slowly. Too slowly. 

"Finn, where's Jannah?"

"Umm, she stopped back by our quarters for something she will be here"

_Has he stopped staring yet?_

_Ben…..stop….._

_That's what I thought…._

Zorii spoke up. "Finn, the pre flight check needs to be completed. Now."

Finn looks at Zorri. "Excuse me, what?"

"Pre Flight. Now."

"Oh yeah, I'll do that. You okay Rey?"

"Yes Finn, I'm fine. Go do the check, okay?"

_Asshole….go do the check….quit staring at my wife…._

_Ben….stop….. how'd you even know what he was doing?_

_Because I am staring at you right now and he's a man just like me. I'm not stupid. Did Poe stare too?_

_I'm ignoring you now….._

Soon Jannah and Rose arrive. Jannah stares at Rey for a few seconds and then walks past, boarding the ship. 

Rose walks by mumbling. "Damn Rey, you sure you had twins? Wish I could have twins and look like that" 

"Maker, you guys, Zorii wears this all the time you all don't say a word"

Zorii smiles. "I told you that you looked good. Ben agrees."

"How do you know Ben agrees?" Rey asks. 

_Ben agrees. Ben agrees wholeheartedly…_

_You…..._

"Am I wrong?" Zorii asks.

The blush that sweeps over Rey's cheeks answers her question. The blush could also be from everything Ben just whispered in her mind. 

**_Ben!!! Stop!!!_ **

_I love you Rey Solo…._

She slips the helmet on so the others won't see the wide smile on her face. 

~*~

They approach the dreadnought. So far so good. None of the tie fighters guarding the main ship have even approached. This is a good sign. 

"Permission to land" comms Finn. 

"Permission granted" states the voice of a droid. Another good sign. No one inside the ship is watching. 

They land in an empty hanger. "Step one, done" states Finn. Now to locate the crate of supplies left by the rogue general. There's only one stack of crates in the hangar. "That must be it" says Zorii. She is wearing stormtrooper armor, Finn's to be precise. She will fetch the crate on top and carry it inside the transporter so Finn, Jannah and Rose can change into their disguises.

They all emerge, ready to transport their "prisoner", Rey. She is cuffed in the front with the cuffs that she has practiced removing with the force, if need be. Ben has taken much time with his wife, through force connections, teaching her how to focus on their removal. He only hopes she will be successful as he watches now, so thankful for their Bond. He cannot imagine idly waiting by for word. He can only see her but he knows even if he could see everything, he'd never take his eyes off of the most important person in his world. All thoughts of her in that amazing disguise fall to the side as he watches, anxious. 

_I got this,_ she reassures him. 

_I know, focus. Ignore me._

_Never._

"Two doors then a right" whispers Finn, walking behind Jannah and Rose. They hold Rey by the arms, appearing to drag her along. It's all a show, of course but Rose is fiesty and pulls a bit hard. 

"Hey, Rose, chill" whispers Rey. 

"Sorry" she whispers back. 

Zorii walks behind Rey, blaster pointed at her back. The safety is on but her hand hides that fact. Accidentally blasting her friend is a concern she'd expressed. 

They take the right as a group of officers walk by. They all nod. 

"Wow look at her" one of the men express a little too loudly. "Damn, where is _she_ going to be held? I may have to pay her a visit"

Rey hears Ben growl. 

"Fuck off" says Finn, a little too sternly. 

"What did you say?" Hollers the actual First Order officer. 

"No, no, no, no" whispers Zorii. 

"All I said was first cellblock, man" stammers Finn, aware that he needs to calm his temper. 

_Remind me to thank that asshole later._

Rey ignores him but smiles inside her helmet. 

"Where to, hothead?" whispers Rose.

"Just a little further, fourth door to the left. Sorry"

"No need to apologise" whispers Rey.

They enter the room. It's very large and very dark, row after row of cots. When the doors shut, they go to work. Just as planned, the children are sleeping and the droids are in sleep mode, charging in preparation for the next day. 

First thing is to remove Rey's cuffs. That's Rose's job. Rey goes to work, waving her hand across the room, sending each child into a deep force sleep. This is also something Ben and Rey had to train together on, for it requires a lot to knock out so many at once. She begins to feel for the child that has the strongest force signature. She prays to the Maker that the child is older, like Aja. 

A boy. Over there. Rey quietly makes her way across the dark room. She waves her hand over him. He darts up and she very lightly silences him with the force. He looks to be about 14. 

"You will stay calm and listen"

"I will stay calm and listen"

She looks him in the eyes and tries to establish some kind of trust within him.

"My name is Rey. What's your name?"

"Tyrest"

"Tyrest, you have the force?"

His eyes widen "How do you know that?"

She smiles. He's a handsome young man. 

"Because I have it too. The other children listen to you?"

"It's a secret, that I have it. Yes they do as I say. Are you a Jedi?"

"Yes I am. I'm here to help. I have friends here, they are dressed in first order uniforms and one friend is dressed as a trooper. Can you sense them? That they are friendly?"

"Yes. Remove your helmet"

Rey hesitates.

_Do it Rey. He won't trust you fully._

She lifts her helmet, tucking it under her arm. 

"It's you. The Last Jedi."

"I'm not the last, but yes, it's me"

"Why are you here?" Tyrest looks confused.

"Tyrest, we are with the Resistance and are here to rescue you and the other children. I need you to help me guide the children to our transport ship. Can you help me?"

"I'll try." He looks uncertain.

"I've put them into a force sleep. I will wake them one at a time if you can quickly tell them to go. We will have to move quickly. They need to understand that even though my friends look bad, they aren't, okay?"

"I can hypotize them. I do that. Do you do that?"

_What did he just say?_ Ben is very loud in her head. 

"Wow, Tyrest that's impressive. That's advanced for your age."

_Ben, I don't know if it's safe. That's almost dark-sider. Some of these younglings could be damaged._

_I'm getting nervous Rey, this is taking too long. Go. Hurry. Do it. Just go!_

"Go Tyrest. Do it"

"Call me Ty" he tells her and he's quickly working. Rey follows, bringing the children out as Ty looks them in the eye "These people are our friends. You will follow them"

Each child repeats his words in a trance-like chant and follows out the door. Rose takes the first group and is gone. The First Order general has managed to clear out the corridor using a combination of tactics. One includes changing the camera feeds to a constant loop of footage showing the corridor and hangar empty. 

_How long do you think they will stay hypnotized?_ Rey asks Ben. 

_I don't know, I never stayed around long enough to find out. They are young. It will either be long or short. Please hurry sweetheart._

Jannah leaves with the second group. So far so good. 

Zorii removes her helmet long enough to usher her group out. She then slips into the corridor and pops it back on. 

_The hypnosis was a brilliant idea. They are obeying._ Rey tells Ben across their bond. 

_Smart kid. He's really advanced. Amazing._

Ty and Rey round up the third group. Rey looks at Finn. "Go Finn"

"That wasn't the plan Rey. You go fourth. I told you I'm not leaving you alone."

"Finn…." 

But she knows that look. 

_Don't argue with him. Go!_

Rey gives Finn one last look and leaves with the third group. As she gets about halfway, she hears a shout. 

"Stop!!! Who are you!! Halt"

Whoever it is has spotted Finn. 

More shouting from unfamiliar voices. 

"Hey!! I know him! It's that trooper, the defector! FN something!! He's taking the children!"

"Shit!" Rey hollers. 

_What??? What Rey??_

_They know Finn's face!!_

_SHIT!!! GO BABY! RUN!_

She has to help Finn. She runs back towards the room. Finn is running towards her, pulling Ty with him. Rey pushes some of the children towards the transport and shouts over her shoulder.

"ZORRI! ROSE! JANNAH! GO!"

"NOT WITHOUT YOU BITCH!!" 

That would be Zorii Bliss screaming at Rey, firing TWO blasters, one in each hand, while running backwards. 

Rey loves her so fucking much. 

Finn has Tyrest in his arms, somehow dodging the bolts. Rey screams at him. 

"FINN!!"

She tosses her saber at him so he can deflect the bolts coming at him from all directions. Troopers are pouring out from everywhere. 

Rey feels Ben's panic at her being unarmed. Rey pulls out her staff, the one that unfolds. She turns to look ahead just in time to see Rose and Jannah pull the last kids aboard their transport. She looks behind and stops, prepared to fight. And to grab Ty, who is staring at her with panic in his eyes. 

"ONE MORE JANNAH!!" Rey yells.

"COME ON!!" Jannah holds the door to the transport open.

Finn is deflecting the bolts magnificently. The bolts plummet back into the Troopers, killing them instantly. She knows he hates killing Troopers. This will haunt him later. 

Rey arrives at the shuttle, Finn running about 20 feet back, still dragging Ty and using the saber rather well. 

Then suddenly, Ty slips out of his arms and falls. Finn's momentum keeps him moving ahead. 

"NO!!! TY!!!!' Rey screams, attempting to run to him. Zorii and Jannah grab her and pull her back, towards the transport. 

Finn stops and turns to see. He panics and begins back towards their new friend. 

Before he can reach him, several troopers grab the boy and drag him into a side room, the door closing. 

"NO!!!!" Finn screams. 

Most of the troopers are dead but more will be arriving in a matter of semi-seconds. They are endless here. 

"FINN!!!" Jannah screams after the man she loves. "PLEASE! COME ON!"

Finn twists back and forth, torn. 

They then hear the doors to the hangar begin to close. They have to go. 

Rey's eyes turn towards the doors. Ben sees what she sees and panics. 

_USE THE FORCE REY!! NOW!!_

Rey holds the doors open as she climbs on board. Finn finally relents and runs into the transport, shaking. He runs into Jannah's arms. Rose and Zorii take the transport ship out of the hangar and into the blackness of space. 

Tie fighters are quickly approaching but the pilots throw the transport into hyperspace and they escape. All of the children are onboard, safe from the clutches of The First Order.

All except one. 

"Ty…." Rey moans as she removes the kriffing helmet and throws it, violently. 

"DAMN IT!!!!!" She screams. Then she cries. 

Her husband's arms embrace her from behind as Finn and Jannah stand just feet away, also hugging and shedding tears. 

Rey feels Ben's weight against her but that's it. 

"We have to help him. We have to go back" Rey cries. 

_No Rey, please don't. You will all die._

"WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM BEN!!" She shouts out loud. 

Finn walks over to her. 

"Ben's right Rey"

_There's a first._

Rey sits in the floor, leans against a wall and pulls her knees up. She sobs. 

She sobs for the boy she just left behind, the tiny four year old girls that she misses and the husband that she needs. 

"I want to go home" she sobs. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	26. Here Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey misses Ben so bad it physically hurts.
> 
> She calls out to him, desperate. 
> 
> The song I listened to on repeat for this chapter is Three Doors Down's "Here Without You"

Her thoughts tumble as she lies in bed, thinking of the young boy she left behind. 

_ He trusted me, Ben. What will they do to him?  _

_ I know sweetheart, I know……. _

_ I have to go get him…... _

_ Just breathe, Rey. Breathe my sweet girl... _

She curls herself into a ball, sobs wracking her body. She feels Ben's hand on her head, smoothing her hair back. 

Her bed sinks as he lies down behind her. She feels his arms around her. But it's not the same. It's not the same, dammit!

Eventually the bond fades and she's left alone, missing him so much she actually feels like she's going to be sick.

She stumbles to the fresher where she vomits.

It's getting harder, not easier. The force struggles in itself, unsettled. The force doesn't like them apart. It never has. 

Today marks her 99th day on Anja Kloss.

It was only supposed to be 2 weeks.

Ben really underestimated his old comrade, Rey thinks to herself. Hux is smarter, sneakier than before. Also more ruthless. So far hundreds have died at his hands, hundreds of children taken, yet they are no closer to finding him, no closer to understanding  _ how _ he's been capable of finding so many force sensitive children.

She fumbles her way back to her bed, glad to be home, at least.

Her eyes fly open at that last thought. 

"Home? No! This isn't home! Don't do that Rey! Don't call it home! Home is Dreia. Beautiful, secluded Dreia. That cabin in the woods, that is home. The one with trees all around and a waterfall 100 yards away"

The girls still have not been to it. Ben and Rey have kept it their secret. 

She falls asleep, dreaming of when they discovered it….

They were saber practicing. The sabers were loud things, zipping and whooshing through the air. Ben had the upper hand at the moment, backing her up further and further. He had a smirk on his face as he always did when he was besting her. 

Rey loves that smirk, except when she was losing. 

She was too out of breath to say it aloud so she said it in his mind. 

_ Stop smiling! _

_ Then stop losing…. _

The lines around his mouth grow deeper with an actual smile. He pushes her even further into the woods. She ducks under a tree limb behind her. 

"I would if you'd start taking this serious!" She yells out.

She turns and leaps over a crevice that is probably 20 feet wide. He gasps and is tempted to force grab and push her over it. But he trusts her abilities and she handles it, plus she got really pissed the last time he did that.

He is impressed. He  _ really _ likes training her.

He also leaps over it. 

She has her back turned and he takes advantage. He charges at her, saber raised. She spins at the last second and blocks him. He is standing over her, saber inches from her face. She holds him back, like he knew she would.

"Hey, I'm winning so you seem to be the one that's not serious" 

He winks.

He loves that her angry, beautiful face glows with a mixture of blue and green light from Luke and Leia's sabers. Sweat pours down her face as she pushes him backwards, growling at him, teeth bared.

_ You are so beautiful right now. _

She turns her saber off.

His saber flicks off. He stares at it, realizing she used the force to disable it. 

He grins again, wickedly. 

"You have to take this more serious Ben! Quit thinking I'm pretty! We are supposed to fight like enemies! Like we  _ used _ to fight!! How else will I learn?!" 

"I didn't say you were pretty, I said you were beautiful" he launches himself at her and she slips away, jumping up and reigniting Leia's saber. He laughs loudly.

She almost grins then forces herself to stop. 

"Ughhhhhhhh, stop it!! You are supposed to be training me! Not flirting with me!"

He walks towards her.

"I can't help it. You're my girlfriend and I  _ really  _ like you"

She stops and turns her saber off. 

"What did you call me?" 

He grabs her with one arm, pulling her close. His hand squeezes her rear, the other starting to make its way up the back of her tunic.

"I called you my girlfriend, is that okay?"

All she can think is when he touches her like this, anything is okay.

"I'm your girlfriend?" Her eyes go to his amazing mouth. She tries not to think about all the ways he uses that mouth on her body. 

He hears her thoughts and his eyes turn almost black with lust.

"If that's okay with you." He still can't believe she's really his. He had  _ ached _ for her for  _ so long _ .

"Yes, it's okay. And yes, I am really yours" 

She clips the saber in her hand to her side. She pulls him down so she can taste that mouth of his, running her fingers into his hair, whispering across their bond. 

_ I ached for you too, Ben. Kiss me like you always wanted to. Like you wanted to on Kef Bir….like you wanted to in my hut... _

She grinds her hips into his hardening length, pulling a deep groan from inside of him. 

She suddenly pulls her mouth from his, turning her head.

"Wait Ben, listen. It's water. Do you hear it?"

"Mmm-hmm" he murmurs, kissing down her neck, headed downwards to her chest.

She unwraps herself from his grasp and turns to go investigate, ignoring him when he starts pouting. 

She walks away, not saying a word to him.

He follows her, sulking.

As they walk the water becomes louder. They come upon a small waterfall, cascading into a creek.

She beams.

"Ben, look!! Oh wow, it's amazing, let's go look"

"Rey be careful"

She waves at him to follow, ignoring his warning. She approaches the edge and looks down into the creek. It is quite deep in spots and clear as glass. The waterfall is beautiful. There seems to be an alcove behind it. 

"Ben!! Look at it!"

As much as he is amazed by the waterfall and creek, he is enthralled with her reaction to it. This was the stuff she dreamed of as a child, growing up in the desert. She deserves every bit of it and more. 

"Ben, let's get in" she says, kicking her boots off.

"Rey, it's bound to be freezing. Besides, what will we do? Get in wearing our clothes?"

She answers him by becoming topless, wearing no breast band under her tunic., her eyes locked into his.

He gulps, his brain frozen. His cock the  _ opposite _ of frozen.

She drops her leggings. She had not worn panties. He is instantly unable to breathe. 

"Um….ugh….yeah…. that'll...ummm... that'll...work"

This was even better than the fantasies he used to have of her. 

She slowly walks to him, her eyes turning a bright green. 

"Here I'll help you." She says, pulling his shirt up. He kneels down and lets her pull it over his head. When he stands, he cups her rear and lifts her up into his arms, sinking his tongue deep in her mouth. 

_ I'm completely addicted to you Rey....You are my drug…..  _

She just moans, digging her hands into his hair, wrapping her tongue around his, pressing her breasts into his bare chest. 

_ Put me down Ben….. _

_ No…. _

_ I'll make it worth your while…. _

His curiosity wins. She turns and walks into the water, letting her hair down. He watches her naked rear swaying, beckoning him. He hurriedly undresses and follows her. 

_ Don't be cold….. _

He watches her breasts bob up and down in the water.

_ Oh  _ **_please_ ** _ don't be cold…. _

The water isn't cold.

He thanks every deity he has ever heard of.

She stands under the waterfall, her eyes closed, her arms lifted as she wets her hair. He watches her and mentally kicks his own ass for not running away with her when he first saw her. He cannot remember what the hell possessed him to fight this for an entire year. 

Feeling like surely he'd had a fantasy of her  _ just like this,  _ he joins her, the water flowing down both of their bodies. He pulls her into the alcove, his cock throbbing painfully under the warm water. He pushes her against the moss covered stone wall of the alcove. 

He lifts her up and she wraps her legs around him. He thrusts into her roughly. She cries out, gasping his name. He  _ loves _ that she likes it rough. Because he's not a gentle man. 

"Do you know what you do to me? You are my fantasy come true. You possess me. You overwhelm me Rey. I  _ love _ it when you tease me. You are  _ mine _ " 

He thrusts harder and faster than usual as she hollers his name, digging her nails into his shoulders, kissing and biting his neck. Yes, she  _ likes _ that he sometimes takes her rough and hard. She  _ likes _ being his possession. She  _ loves _ feeling wanted and desired and needed. She  _ loves _ this man, deeply, possessively, desperately.

_ I am yours, Ben…..Take me….I need you to take me….. _

He moans as he lifts her up and grinds into her over and over, going deeper into her body and her mind. Every time he makes love to her he is more possessed by her. He  _ loves _ belonging to her. He  _ dreamed  _ of being her lover. 

_ I love you Rey. I love you so damn much. _

She feels him on a deeper level every time he touches her. She'd give it up all over again. She could never live without him again. She falls deeper in love with him every day. 

Just the thought of having him forever, finally able to make love to him anytime she wants pushes over the edge. He fells her silken walls throb around him. Her body quivers and vibrates. She looks into his eyes.

"Ben I'm coming....BenBenBenBen…."

"That's it Rey….let me watch you….I  _ love _ watching you come on my cock…."

He feels himself meeting her, his body not able to hold back. He buries his face in her neck, thrusting viscously. He fills her, groaning and marking her neck with his mouth, hearing her holler his name over and over, in quick breaths. Then they flow back down, together, gasping. He begins to caress her back, kissing her gently as their heart rates slow down. He pulls his mouth away, pressing his forehead against hers.

"You are my everything, Rey. I am so in love with you. I never want to be without you again"

She wakes up. 

She is crying. She misses him so much. 

Instantly he is there with her. He had felt her deep sorrow. Her back is to his chest and he wraps his arm and leg around her.

"Rey, what is it? Shhhh….did you have a nightmare?"

"No, it was a good dream. When we found the waterfall"

"Then why are you crying?"

She rolls over, her face going into his neck. It's like she's trying to merge with him as she pushes herself against him, fisting his undershirt.

She can't feel his body heat or smell him. Too close is not close enough. She  _ needs  _ his heat, his scent. It's her drug. The force bond is  _ not _ enough. Maybe it used to be. Before she  _ knew _ him, knew his body, knew his kiss, his arms, knew what it felt like to run her fingers through his dark hair. Knew what it felt like to be completely, physically wrapped up in him. 

Touching hands was enough back then. Not anymore. Now she needs all of him, all the time. 

She needs her lover, her Ben.

"Ben...Ben...I...miss...you….this...is...too…hard." She sobs between each word. He wipes her tears with his hand that is as big as her entire face. 

"Shhhh….I know…..this is fucking hell. Go back to sleep and dream good dreams again. You are exhausted. I'll stay connected to you as long as I can"

"You promise?"

"I promise. You need sleep"

"Okay, I love you"

"I love you too, Rey"

He listens as her breathing slows and becomes deeper. He feels her become heavier against him.

Ben watches her. She is in his arms. Except she's not. She is light years away. 

Force connecting is better than not seeing each other at all but in some ways it is worse. He can see her and touch her but he can't really feel her. He supposes they can make love but he knows it wouldn't be nearly as fulfilling. Oh and burying his face between her thighs was  _ definitely _ not be the same. He'd tried it. 

He misses the heat of her skin under his lips. He misses the way she smells. He even misses the smell of her sweat after they spar. He misses the tickle of her hair on his face when he kisses her amazing neck and shoulders. 

He is only a few inches from her face but he can't feel her breath. 

For a year, this was enough for him. The force connects were all he needed. 

Well actually, they weren't all he needed. He had nearly ruined the galaxy to get to her. He should feel more guilty about that, he supposes. He'd do it again if he had to. 

Now he has been touching her, tasting her, feeling her for six amazing years.

This isn't enough, damn it!! He misses her so badly it hurts. Not just her body either.

His home isn't complete without her in it. He misses hearing her laugh from the other room. He misses seeing her fix the girl's unruly hair. He misses eating with her late after the kids are sleeping. He misses walking with her in the forest, listening to her worries and her dreams. 

The Force is not content. The steady hum has now been replaced with a constant chant of  _ now,now,now.  _

_ Go now. Go to her  _ **_now_ ** …..He hears it in his very soul. 

She completes him. And now she is half a galaxy away. Sobbing herself to sleep at night.

Her tear streaked face fades from view as he falls asleep. He breathes in and realizes his sheets don't have her smell anymore. 

His very last thought is that enough is enough. 

He has to be with her. The Force won't allow any other choice.  _ He _ won't allow any other choice.

_ I'm coming Rey. I'm coming to you. Now. _

  
  


**Here Without You by Three Doors Down**

A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don't think I can look at this the same.

All the miles that separate

Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face.

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind.

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl, it's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind.

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight, it's only you and me.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go,

It gets hard but it won't take away my love.

And when the last one falls, when its all said and done.

It gets hard but it won't take away my love.

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind.

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight, it's only you and me.

Three Doors Down

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	27. Anja Kloss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hubby Ben has had ENOUGH

He is going to her.

It has been 100 days since he touched her, kissed her or held her.

100 days since their children have felt her embrace. They need her as bad as he does. They are strapped in, ready to go on an adventure.

He is going to her.

She is going to kill him. 

"Papa! Where are we going? Papa! You going to fly us? Papa! Where's Mama? Papa! Can we go see Mama now? Papa?"

He's seriously considering changing his name and not telling them. 

They have simply worn him out. 

He thinks to himself, here I am, apparently the strongest Jedi in the galaxy. I have ran an army. I've conquered worlds. I've fought the Knights of Ren and won. 

But two little girls have completely kicked my ass. 

They never stop. Never stop running, climbing, playing or talking. They want to eat constantly. They fight non stop, especially over him. Leia is unwilling to share her Daddy with her twin. 

They are a handful. He loves it. But he's exhausted.

He spends almost all night one in each arm. He puts them in their bed but they always come looking for him, one crawls up one side and one the other side. 

Then he's pinned.

They need their mother, he needs his wife and to be able to sleep all night.

"Shhhh…..Papa has to think, okay? What did we talk about? Talk amongst each other. No fighting! You could also take a nap?" He asked, in a small hopeful plea.

He wonders if Rey would know if he put them into a force sleep. 

She would. She knows everything. 

He'd wrestled with trying to send word of his arrival but there are many reasons he hadn't. He is afraid of the message being intercepted by the wrong person on the way there. It would mean he couldn't leave until it was received and confirmed. Rey would find out and force connect so fast his head would spin. But none of that mattered because he didn't know how to. Rey contacted Poe and he never asked how. Why would he ever need to know? 

Now that the love of his life was so far away from him, all he had to do was close his eyes and see her. He was lucky as hell. 

On approach to Anja Kloss, he received a transmission to identify himself, like he knew he would. He refused to give his name. He only asked for Dameron. Repeatedly. The guy on the other end refused.

"Here's the deal. Either you get Dameron or I promise you, your ass is grass. Not by me but someone there will kick your ass if you are the reason I can't land. She's kicked mine before. You won't like it"

Silence. 

Then two little girls wake up. 

_ Oh shit. _

"Why won't he get Uncle Poe? We want to see Uncle Poe"

Ben cringes at not only the name the girls have given Dameron but the fact that someone might've heard them. He does not want any enemies dropping in and hearing there are kids on this ship. 

"Excuse me, did they just say Uncle Poe?" the asshole asks. 

Ben is trying so hard not to explode. He really is going to have to force connect with Rey. This dick is not going to cooperate. 

Ben speaks through clenched teeth "Yes, NOW will you go get Dameron?"

The idiot doesn't turn off the line on his end. 

"Tell General Dameron that there's some little kid asking for him, claims she's his niece"

Ben is flabbergasted. That's all it took. He just prayed no one outside of asshole heard it. 

Poe comes on the line, breathing heavy. Obviously he had been running. 

He only had one word to say.

"Really?!?!?"

"Yes, really. So are you going to let me land or what? And for fucks sake, don't say anything to anyone! Tell asshole he better be quiet!"

"Papa!! That's a bad word!"

"Ughhhhhhhh. Get me off this ship Dameron. I'll owe you big time"

"Yeah, let him land so I can kick his ass" Ben hears him tell whoever was holding him up.

Ben lands and climbs out of the cockpit, reaching for Driea first. 

"Papa get me first!" Leiliana screams out. 

"Shhhh, hush already. No whining!" 

Ben is exhausted but he senses that Rey is closer and his heart rate jumps. 

Immediately he throws up a wall between them so she doesn't sense his presence. She'd know he was here. 

Poe comes jogging up. 

"You ass!! You should've contacted us first. That was stupid as fuck Ben. We have to know who is coming here"

There's a tug at his shirt. He looks down to see black haired Driea at his feet looking just like her grandmother. 

"Mama said don't say that Uncle Poe. That's a bad word"

Poe forgets he's pissed at Ben. He swoops her up. 

"Look at you! Oh my gosh, you've grown! Where's your sister?" 

There's a small cry from the cockpit above. Leiliana thinks she was forgotten. 

"Shit! Hold on Leia I'm coming"

"Papa don't say bad words!"

"Ughhhh" Ben throws his hands in the air.

"That's it baby girl you fuss at Papa" Poe tells Driea, throwing her straight up in the air. She squeals. 

Ben fumes."She's not your baby girl" 

Ben climbs down with a still crying Leia in his arms. 

"Shhhh... it's okay I didn't forget you"

"Dameron, where is she? She's going to kick my a…..I mean tail for bringing them here but they need her. Where is she?"

"Well lucky for your as…..I mean tail, she's out flying right now, she practicing maneuvers"

Leia is now falling asleep in his arms. He goes to take Driea. 

"No, I got her. It's okay"

"Oh well thanks" Ben says awkwardly. He feels a bit possessive. He's never seen another man hold his daughter before. 

"Dameron, she doesn't know we are here"

"Well I figured that, there's no way she would've gone on a mission if she knew"

"I want to surprise her, okay? Tell that dic...that guy not to tell anyone we are here" 

Driea eyes him looking all for the galaxy like her Mama when she's pissed at him.

"What? I didn't say it" Ben reasons with his four year old. 

Poe bursts out laughing. 

"What are you laughing at?" 

"I just realized you have three Rey's, I kinda feel sorry for you." He keeps laughing.

"You have no idea Poe, no idea" 

Ben had just called him Poe instead of Dameron.

Ben hears a familiar sound. He stops. 

It's Chewie. 

He hasn't seen Chewie in twenty years. He actually wants to hide from his uncle. 

Chewie is about the only living creature that Ben is intimidated by. 

Chewie walks around the corner, looking for Poe. 

Ben and Chewie just stare at each other. 

"Poe, will you take Leia"

It's not really a question. Poe sets Driea down, asking her to be still and quiet and takes a sleeping Leiliana into his arms. 

He walks up to his Uncle. Chewie is several inches taller than Ben, making him a good bit more intimidated. 

Ben looks up at him, "Do you know who I am?" 

Chewie is silent. Ben takes that as a yes. 

"Chewie, I don't know what to say to you. I'm sorry"

Ben hangs his head. Chewie is still silent. 

"Yeah, well, I don't blame you for not speaking to me. I'll leave you alone"

Chewie asks one question. 

Ben looks up, surprised that he knows. Well of course he knows. His wife told him. 

"Yeah Chewie, that's them. That's my girls"

Chewie was always emotional. He is literally a big walking teddy bear. Tears flow from his eyes. He asks another question. 

Ben smiles a bit. Those girls are healing in so many ways. Ben is so incredibly proud of them. 

"Of course you can meet them Chewie. You don't have to ask me"

<I will always ask. You are their father>

Ben has to turn away. It was like a knife has just went through his heart. This wookie has seen him kill his own father yet he still shows respect towards him as a father. 

Ben turns to look at Chewie. There will not be a mention of Han or Leia or what had transpired. With those words, Ben felt a strong wave of emotion between him and his uncle. Ben always thought Chewie may have some force powers. When he was a child he was more impressed by his Uncle Chewie than his own blood Uncle. To him, Chewie was more powerful and wise than a Jedi.

"Thank you Chewie, you don't know…."

He can't stop. He turns away from Poe. He has cried many times in the arms of this wookie. Even when he was a teenage boy. Ben had always been wide open with Chewie. Except about the voices in his head. He should've told him about it.

Tears flow down his cheeks. Chewie looks at Poe and tells him to watch the girls. Poe has no choice. It wasn't like he'd say no. 

Chewie tells him to go sit down on a boulder around the corner. A crying Ben obeys. 

Chewie gently places his enormous hand on Ben's head. 

<I never gave up hope, Ben. They didn't either>

"Chewie, I wish you had killed me that day. I wish you had hit me with that blaster"

Chewie speaks to Ben in a way that very few understand. Ben was taught from birth the wookie language. 

<Ben look at me>

Ben looks up, tears still streaming.

Chewie nods to the girls. 

<I missed on purpose. You came back and you've done good by Rey. She loves you. I knew she loved you before she knew. Before you knew. She told me to put her in that shuttle, that she had to go to you. That's when I knew.>

"She's more than I ever deserved."

<She was the miracle we hoped for.>

"I love her Uncle Chewie. She's my everything. I had to come here. She needs me."

<You are a good husband. And a good father. They are beautiful. They look like their grandparents. Are they going to be afraid of me?>

Ben smiles. "Not if they have Solo blood in them. Come here Driea" he calls his daughter to him. 

Driea's mouth had not closed since the wookie appeared. She walks over to Ben slowly. Chewie is lucky it is this one he encounters first, Driea has a tender heart, like Rey. Leia will be the more guarded one, like me, Ben thinks. 

Never one to mince words she remarks, "He's bigger than you, Papa. I thought no one was bigger than you."

Ben smiles, kissing her little black head.

"Does that scare you?"

"No, I like big. And he's furry"

"He'd like to meet you Driea. He's my Uncle. His name is Chewie. He helped raise me"

Chewie says hello to her. Driea looks at Ben.

"What did he say Daddy? I don't understand him"

"He said hello. I'll teach you how to understand him"

"Like you taught me to float rocks?"

Chewie looks at Ben.

"Yeah, Chewie, they are both force-sensitive. I'm training them."

Chewie cries again. Driea walks over to him and touches his knee. 

"Don't cry Chewie"

Chewie asks Ben a question. 

"Driea, Chewie wants to hug you. He wants me to ask you if it's okay"

She doesn't answer him. She just climbs up in Chewie's lap. She literally disappears behind Chewie's hand. He's still crying. 

<Leia's eyes. Rey's heart>

"Yes, I agree."

Ben looks up and Poe is gone. Ben jumps up, his heart racing.

"Where's Leiliana?" 

<Calm down Ben he went inside the hangar with her, he won't let anything happen to her>

Still, he needs to go find her. 

He finds Poe in a chair holding his daughter. Both of them are asleep. 

  
  
  
  



	28. 100 Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that he's there, he must find her. Can they resist a make out session?

  
  


He knew he should let them see her first. 

He planned to. 

Until he felt her.

She is near, her presence is overwhelming him. 

He turns from a sleeping Poe and Leiliana.

He goes to Chewie and Driea. 

"Chewie, can you help me? I know I shouldn't ask you anything but…"

<Ben, go. I'll watch them>

"Thank you Uncle Chewie. I can still call you that?"

Chewie nods. "Of course"

"Driea come here" 

She won't leave Chewie's side. Instant connection. Ben smiled. Just like when he was four. 

He walks over and gets down on one knee.

"Will you be afraid if you stay here with my uncle?"

"No, I like him. Papa, are you going to find my Mama?"

"Yes, Driea, I am"

"Will you bring her back to me?"

He lets a tear fall. It had been so hard to see them miss her so much.

"Yeah baby, I will"

She looks up with eyes that contain Rey, Leia and Han. She reaches up her tiny hand and touches his tear. She is his little Rey, sweet and compassionate. 

"Papa, don't cry. Mama will kiss you. I know she will"

He grabs her and holds her. He never forgets for even one second that he doesn't deserve her. Or her sister. Or her Mama. 

"Yeah, I hope she will. Listen, your sister is going to wake up and she might be afraid. Will you tell her where I went and introduce her to my uncle? Tell her I said do not be mean to him. Poe can understand Chewie so you can ask him what he's saying. And make sure you beat Poe up really good. He deserves it, okay?"

"Okay Papa, I'll make Leia be nice. Can you please bring Mama soon? I miss her"

"Only after she kisses me five times, okay? Be a big girl. If you are hungry tell Poe. He will take care of you. He is in charge here, along with Mama"

Ben sends her back to Chewie. He looks in on Mr. Badass General Poe Dameron holding his daughter, both still asleep.

He can't help but laugh that yet again, Dameron is wrapped up in another Leia Solo. 

He stops and breathes in the presence that is Rey Solo. He gets goosebumps. 

It's been 100 days. 

100 fucking days. 

He knows where she is. 

He walks at first, then he runs. He still keeps the wall up. 

He stops when he senses her closeness.

Then he sees her.

He gasps.

Her hair is longer. He likes it. She's lost weight. He doesn't like that. He knows she probably isn't eating enough. He always had to make her eat. Except for sweets. She loves sweets. 

She has on a white skirt and top. He loves her in white. It's a pretty outfit, fits her perfectly. 

Maker above, she's beautiful

He keeps the guard up. She's finally alone. He walks up behind her, about twenty paces away.

Then he lets the wall fall. 

She still has her back to him, cleaning his mother's saber. 

Her head flies up.

Saber falls to the ground. 

She inhales sharply, loudly. 

_ Turn around. _

She turns slowly. She covers her mouth with the back of her hand, unable to speak.

_ Ben…... _

She is afraid it's not real.

"It's real" 

He can't move. The sheer beauty of her has frozen him.

She takes three steps, still covering her mouth. She runs. 

She lands in his arms with full force. Her arms circle his neck, his arms around her waist, lifting her. He sighs at her touch. She gasps at his.

100 fucking days. 

She's crying, speechless. His hands come up to her face, pulling her to look at him. He needs her eyes. His head leans down to rest against hers. His large thumbs swipe away her tears.

"Are you real? Really? You are here? Are you going to fade away like last night?"

"No, I'll never fade away again Rey"

"How? How are you here?"

"Last night….I couldn't anymore….I had to…. it's you... it's you Rey"

"Never again, Ben, no matter what….never again….kiss me Ben"

She doesn't have to ask twice

It was the best kiss since the first kiss. He lifts her up to him, feeling her body against him. It is tender, sweet. Then it becomes deeper, hotter. His tongue sweeps in to meet hers and they kiss until they have to stop or pass out. 

Her hands are all over his face, in his hair, back to his face. 

He is actually lightheaded. He has to put her down. She is weak in the knees so he holds her steady.

"Ben, Ben, Ben…" she keeps whispering his name. 

He wants to hear her say it forever. 

"Rey, 100 days. Never again. Not even one day...okay?"

He dives back into her mouth, possessing her again. 

His hands are everywhere. Her back, her waist, her ass. He doesn't care who sees. He doesn't even look away from her face to see if anyone is around. She's the only person on the planet, far as he cares.

Her hands are also roaming. His arms, his waist, she also grabs his ass when he grabs hers. She instantly feels him grow hard and giggles.

"Whoa" she whispers. "Is it awful that I've really missed your cock?"

He growls and kisses her again. 

"Damn woman....This is what you do to me, Rey"

"There's a tree over there, we can go sit against it" 

They walk over to it, arms still wrapped around each other. He sits, pulling her down into his lap. Her head goes to his shoulder. She pulls her knees up to her chest. He wraps his arms completely around her entire body. She suddenly begins to cry. 

He holds her, whispering to her how much he loves her, how he needs her, how he'll never let her go again, how he'll follow her anywhere. That she belongs to him and that he belongs to her forever, that he'd burn the galaxy down for her. 

She smells his scent, feeling his warmth. She knows this is real, only because of that. 

"I'll never leave you again Ben. Our connection is too strong. It hurt to not see you, touch you, smell you. You are so warm" 

She pulls her head out from under his chin. They kiss again. His hand slips up her skirt to grasp her thigh. He groans. 

"I need you, Rey. Tonight. I need you all night"

"I know Ben. I need you inside of me"

She thinks of a night in his arms and sighs. 

Only one little thing….well, two. Two little black haired things.

She stops kissing him. He knows what is is coming, he'd heard her thoughts. 

She sits up quickly. 

"Where are they? I know you brought them. I feel them Ben, where are they?"

"They are with Poe and Chewie. Are you mad at me for bringing them? That's one reason I didn't tell you. Please don't be mad at me. I know it's not as safe but I'll protect them. I'll do whatever I have to do"

"No Ben, I'm not mad. Poe says he will protect them too"

"I will protect them. They are _mine_ to protect. I don't need his help."

"We need all the help we can get"

Ben rolls his eyes. 

"Poe is currently asleep in a chair, holding Leia"

"He's asleep?? How's he watching them if he's asleep??"

"Chewie is there"

"Wait!! Ben! You saw Chewie! My head is spinning. I totally missed that. You haven't seen Chewie since…."

"Since I left for the Academy"

"What happened? Tell me"

So he did. She turns and is soon straddling his thighs, slowly stroking his face and hair with her hands, smiling with happiness for him. Other than her and the girls, Chewie is the only family he has left. 

He tells her all about what transpired between him and Chewie.

Her knees are digging into the hard ground so she shifts, wiggling her hips into his groin. 

He stops talking mid-sentence.

He grabs her thighs and stops her moving. 

"Okay, get up. Get up. You are killing me. I really don't want to make love to you out here but now you've got me hard as a rock. Which is weird cause I'm trying to talk to you about my uncle. You are killing me. You don't even try to turn me on and still you get me all fucked up"

She laughs and leans in to kiss him, pressing her breasts into his chest.

"Don't kiss me! I swear I'm going to take you right here"

She laughs harder as she stands. He stands and towers over her, smiling the smile he reserves only for her and his girls. She is so happy. He pulls her to his chest.

"Okay now kiss me three more times"

"Why? Why three?"

"I told Driea you had to kiss me 5 times and then she could see you and I have gotten two already."

She gives him three quick pecks. 

He grabs her again. 

"Now I'm not stupid enough to come between a Mother Bear and her cubs but I'm going to need just one more real kiss. I don't know when I'll get you alone again" 

She kisses him so hard and so deep he actually has to lean against the tree, pulling her with him. She giggles at the power she has over this man then she sighs at the power he has over her. 

"Tonight Ben, I promise. Tonight. Somehow. And when I get done with you, you'll need more than that to lean against"

He smiles lustfully, his hands slipping beneath her waistband and cupping her ass. She can't stop herself as she jumps up and wraps her legs around his waist. He groans again. Teasing him is her favorite hobby. 

"Well, when I'm done with you, you'll need to take a few days off because you aren't going to be able to walk. Did you get a new implant? I know it was time"

She nods.

"Good cause if you didn't you would definitely be pregnant by daylight." He says with a wicked grin.

He sets her down and she mopes then runs her hands around his waist and inside the back of his shirt, dragging her nails down his skin, teasing him again. He groans. 

"We'll be alone later, you gorgeous sexy minx. Now get away from me before I combust." he smiles, planting a kiss on her forehead.

They both straighten up. Time to switch to parenting mode. 

He holds her hand as they walk back. He can't not touch her. 

"This has been the greatest but most exhausting three months. Rey I don't know how you do it. They are wild"

She throws her head back laughing. He needed to spend this time with them. She listened as he told her about the transmission and how if it hadn't been for the girls, he'd still be floating above the planet. 

"Dameron was so pissed he was cursing and then Driea fussed at him and he melted"

"I would've loved to see that"

"Then Leia had him wrapped"

"Well her name is Leia"

They are coming close. Rey is shaking. She's missed them so much.

Ben stops her. "Wait right here and surprise them"

He walks up to quite a scene. 

Adventurous Leiliana is on Chewie's back. Dreia has a stick trying to "saber" fight Dameron. Chewie has unlimited energy for kids but Dameron is exhausted. 

Poe looks at him, breathing hard. "Man no wonder you came here. How did you do this for three months?"

"I'm a bit crazy now from it"

Ben scoops up one girl under his arm and then the other. 

"Thanks you two. I really appreciate it"

Poe explains that dinner will be in an hour so the girls can eat then. 

Ben inquires about seperate quarters for the girls.

"Oh I assumed they'd stay with you and Rey."

Then Poe realizes a married couple probably needs privacy and things get awkward. Ben says he's sure Rey can figure it out. 

Poe leaves quickly to find something to do, trying not to think about Rey, a woman he once was very attracted to, sleeping in the same bed as one of his worst enemies.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	29. Her Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mama Tiger needs her baby tigers, the girls meet D-O and Ben is confronted for the first time.

Ben stands the girls up on the grass and knelt down so he could be eye to eye with them. 

"Driea, was Leiliana nice to Chewie?"

"Yes, Papa. Well, kinda. She said he looks like a big walking rug"

Ben throws his head back and laughs.

That's Leia, all right. Poor Chewie will age another 100 years with this one.

He faked seriousness. 

"Leiliana Solo, do not be mean to Uncle Chewie. Papa already put him through hell. Be nicer"

"Don't say hell Papa!"

" _ Leliana Solo… _ ."

Slowly but quietly, Rey sneaks up behind the wall surrounding the little courtyard her family is in. She listens to this conversation, sighing softly. 

She missed seeing the three of them together. She, of course, loves her daughters but Ben has a deeper bond with them. He sees his mother and father in them. He couldn't fix everything between him and his parents but he can take care of their granddaughters. 

Rey communicates with Leia's force ghost. She has seen Leia watch them. One day she'll be able to communicate with them too, when their force abilities grow stronger.

He also never thought he'd be a father. He just understands them. And they absolutely adore him. He is completely wrapped around their little fingers and he is fine with that. 

She stands around the corner listening to Leia ask her Papa a thousand questions about Chewie.

She sneaks up behind her husband's tall figure. 

She peeks her head around him.

"Where's my girls?" 

They squeal.

"Mama!!!!!"

She is knocked clear off of her feet, Ben catching her. All four wind up on the ground. 

Ben scoots back and just watches them. 

They are telling her all of the new things they've learned since she has been gone, including new Jedi skills their Papa has taught them.

Not only are they his daughters, they are his first Padawans. It made an interesting combination. 

Even if there was another Jedi master to train them, there is no way in hell he'd send them off. 

They are the next generation of Jedi. 

Ben hears a strange voice. A droid.

Rey's droid, D-O comes rolling up, asking many questions. 

"R-R-Rey, I could not find you"

Rey pats him and introduces him to her family.

"This is D-O. He is my droid. I found him on Ochi's ship"

"She fixed my squeaky wheel, I squeaked but Rey fixed it. She is my friend" D-O chimes in, running circles around his owner, whom he adores. 

He rolls up to the girls.

"H-H-Hello, I am D-O. I belong to Rey Solo"

Driea beams and Leia giggles. The girls have never had a droid. 

"Hello D-O I am Leiliana Solo. This is my sister, Driea Solo. Rey Solo is our Mama"

"Y-Y-You belong to Rey Solo too?"

The girls laugh and say yes.

D-O rolls over to Ben.

"H-H-Hello my name is D-O, I belong to Rey Solo"

Ben has never really liked droids. But this one is different. 

"Rey, he speaks human? Not droid speak?"

"Yeah he was like that when I found him. He was in terrible shape. He had been abused. He was very timid at first but he's come around. I missed him" he rolls over to her and she pats him. He bumps her foot repeatedly as a show of gratitude. 

He rolls back over to Ben. 

"Y-Y-You belong to Rey Solo?" he asked Ben.

Ben laughs a bit. 

"Yes I do. I belong to Rey Solo"

Ben looks up at his wife and nods, "I do" 

He winks at her. 

Rey feels her heart skip, like when they first became a couple. Ben Solo can still make my heart race, she thinks.

He feels her heart race and hears her little gasp. He speaks again in the way only she could hear.

_ I can't wait to be alone with you later. _

She blushes like a new bride, her girls in her lap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Girls, this is Aja. She is a new friend of mine that is very special to me"

Aja sits on her bunk, rather surprised. 

The girls are being shy. Rey knows that they are very tired. Their bellies are full and they've had baths. Poe and Zorii are staying with them tonight. 

"Aja this is Driea and Leiliana. My daughters"

Aja doesn't know what to say. 

"Aja, come out here with me, okay? Girls, you two can share the bottom bunk. I know you don't want to sleep separately tonight. Uncle Poe is coming with his girlfriend, okay? Stay right here. Papa will be here in just a second"

Rey takes Aja's hand and leads her into the corridor. 

"Aja, is something upsetting you?"

Aja looks at the wall behind Rey.

"I found out that your family was here. You didn't tell me they were coming"

"I didn't know. My husband surprised me. Does it bother you that they are here?"

"What happens to me now?"

Rey is confused. "Aja, what do you mean what happens to you now? Why would what we have change….oh….wait. You think I'm going to ignore you now? Aja, sweetheart, I'd never do that. You are my friend. I'm going to help you find your family"

Aja looks at the floor, blinking back tears.

Rey decides this is the moment to pry for the truth. 

Ben steps around the corner. He pauses and steps back, listening. 

Rey places her fingertips under Aja's chin, lifting her face up to look at her.

"Aja, do you have parents?"

Aja whispers, "I used to" and the tears flow.

"Sweetie, did they leave you?"

Aja crumbles and Rey catches her. Ben starts to approach and Rey holds up a hand.

_ Not yet. Give me a minute. _

_ I want to help.  _

_ Ben, you will scare her. You are massive. You're quite scary. Just, hold on.  _

The father in Ben, his heart breaks. Another girl, all alone. Like Rey. He watches his wife comfort the girl. This is what she's made for, he thinks. 

Finally Aja stands, her eyes quickly dart to Ben. 

"Aja, come here. Let's sit" she guides the girl to a bench in the corridor. 

"W-w-who's he?"

"That's Ben. My husband"

"He used to be Kylo Ren"

Rey stops, shocked. Ben pauses, hearing this and almost runs. He wasn't prepared. 

"Um...how do you know that?" Rey asks.

"People here told me. I heard about him when I was little."

"What did you hear?"

"He's a horrible man"

Rey looks at Ben. She feels him panicking. 

_ Don't run Ben. We have to face this. We have to show people. We will start with her. She's young. She's not made her mind up.  _

Rey looks back at Aja. "Will it upset you if he walks over here? He can stand, sit, leave, whatever you want. Aja," Rey takes her hands and looks her in the eye."Do you trust me?"

"Yes, Rey. I do. He can sit."

"Aja, he's my husband. You know me. Do you think I'd marry an evil man?"

"No, was I wrong? He's not Kylo Ren?"

Ben flinches just as he sits next to Rey. It's like daggers being thrown at him. He'd much prefer fighting with Poe over his old life than this. This….hurts. 

"Yes, Aja. He is Kylo Ren. But he's now Ben Solo. He did some bad things and then he realized he was wrong. I fell in love with him back when he was Kylo…"

Ben slips his arm around Rey. He'll never deserve her, he knows that. Hearing her defend him is painful, yet makes him love her so much more. 

Aja's brow crinkles. "You loved Kylo Ren? How?"

Rey looks back at Ben behind her then back at Aja. 

"Because I saw inside of him and I knew that he wanted to be a good person. He was being hurt by a much worse man. A man who took him away when he was a child and convinced him to hurt people"

Then Ben interrupted.

"Then Rey came and took me back"

Rey looks over her shoulder at her Dyad. She thinks that in this moment, this moment right here, she's never loved Ben Solo this much. 

_ I love you so much Ben. We can do this. _

_ Thank you for taking me back.  _

They stare at each other until they hear a voice. 

"Um, so what's your real name?"

Ben realizes the girl is talking to him. 

"My real name is Ben."

"I like that better than Kylo"

He looks at Rey and says, "I like this kid" and when he says that, he sounds and looks just like Han Solo. Rey smiles at the memory. 

Rey changes the subject. 

"Aja, listen to me. Just because my family is here doesn't mean I'm going to ignore you. Actually Ben can help me train you. And, sweetie, I knew the truth about your parents. Where are you from?"

"Jakku"

Rey's head spins and she grabs Ben's leg just as he grabs her. 

"Oh...oh...maker...Aja...that's where I'm from."

_ Oh my Gods Ben what if she had to sell herself? _

_ Rey, she's not that old. Should I leave so you can ask her? _

_ No, don't leave me. _

"Aja, baby, who owned you? I know someone did"

"Plutt"

_ I should've killed him years ago, Rey.  _

"Did you scavage for him?"

"I did and I was damn good at it. I heard I was as good as you were"

Rey gasps. "You know about me?"

"Yes, everyone does. Plutt gets mad when someone talks about you"

Ben actually Iaughs. He circles his arms around his wife. He feels her exhaustion. She leans back against him. 

"Aja, we will talk more about this. Listen, I've been sending you to spend time with General Dameron because you are going to stay here. You are going to learn everything you can and want to learn. You're never going back to Jakku"

"Really?" 

"Really"

She hugs Rey and her arms go around Ben when she does. She stands up and looks at him.

"I can tell you are a good man. The force showed me"

Ben looks at this child, too old for her years, like another scavenger he knew. 

"The force is strong in you. Do you want to train to be a Jedi?"

"Do I get a lightsaber?" She grins.

"Yes, you do. You build your own. But that's a long ways off"

"Cool. Rey, can I go? I need to use the fresher"

"Yes, sweetie. Are you okay with my girls bunking with you?"

"Eh, I guess? Do they cry a lot?"

Ben laughs. "I really really like this kid" he whispers in Rey's ear.

"Um...not a lot"

Then she's gone.

Rey leans her head back against Ben's shoulder and sighs. 

"Wow that came out of nowhere"

"You are amazing" he whispers, bending his head down into her neck, kissing her. 

"And you smell amazing" he kisses her neck again. "And you taste amazing"

He pulls her into his lap and kisses her, slow and long.

They don't even hear Poe approach until he clears his throat. Rey starts to scramble out of her husband's lap. 

_ Don't move. I have a raging hard on. Stay.right.there. _

Rey blushes and giggles like a schoolgirl caught by the principal. 

"Um….hi Poe…. where's, where's Zorii?"

He rolls his eyes. "She's coming. Can I go in now?"

"Yeah….they may be sleeping by now"

Ben buries his face in the back of Rey's hair. She slaps his hand, blushing harder. 

"Could you not accost my general right out here in the corridor?"

"Nope. I'll accost if I want"

Poe looks at Rey. "It's really not a good thing for people to see"

"I agree Poe. You are right. But right now I can't stand up"

Rey starts giggling and Ben hides his face again. 

"Why not….oh….well shit. Imma go now…."

He turns and opens the girls door. Screams erupt into the corridor. Not only are the girls  _ not _ asleep, it seems that Aja has hyped them up by starting a pillow fight. Poe immediately comms Zorii. 

"WHERE ARE YOU??"

Zorii's voice blasts out of his comm. 

"I'm almost there!"

"Well hurry!"

He shuts his comm off and looks at the blushing Solos. 

"Maker help me. Go you two"

Ben and Rey stand and run. 

"Thank you!!!" Rey shouts over her shoulder.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	30. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey are finally alone and there's LOTS of making up to do! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
> 
> The song for this chapter is Def Leppard's "Hysteria", their official song for this fic. One of my favorite songs. I just think the words sound like a force connect.

  
  


Before the door completely slides shut, they are on each other. 

Quicker than she can think, he pulls her top off, along with her breast band and has her nipple in his mouth.. She almost shouts as he backs her into the wall. 

She force grabs her music player, turning on their playlist. She turns it up.

He is undoing the back of her skirt and teasing her nipple with his mouth..

_ Why are you turning it up so loud? _

_ So no one hears me scream your name _

Hearing her say that he rips her skirt tearing it down the back seam. He unfastens each of her boots, sliding them off, never taking his mouth off of her nipple. He yanks her panties down and grabs her ass with both hands. He travels down her soft belly and sinks his tongue between her folds, finding her clit, tossing one leg over his shoulder. 

"BEN!" 

_ Fuck you taste so damn good baby. _

All she can do is gasp for oxygen and grab his hair with both hands. Her knees buckle. He wraps one arm under her ass. He loves the feeling of her bare ass on his skin. 

"Oh! Ben! Ohhhh...Ben..I….oh….I missed you...ahhh…not just this though..Ohhhh...I missed  _ all of you... _ not...just……"

He reaches up without looking and puts one finger over her mouth. He knew what she meant. He just wants her to  _ enjoy.  _

She takes his finger into her mouth and sucks, circling the tip with her tongue. He gasps as his cock throbs harder at the feel of her tongue, then her mouth sucking then her teeth nibbling. She knows  _ just  _ how to get to him. 

He slides his fingers inside of her and she immediately thrusts at his hand. 

_ Oh I missed your fingers so much.  _

_ I missed your cunt so much Rey. Damn Rey you're so fucking tight and wet for me. _

He strokes with his tongue and thrusts with his fingers until he feels the beginnings of her climax. Then he stops, dragging his tongue back up her body, stopping to suck on her skin along the way in several spots.

She sulks.

He knows she feels teased and whispers.

"Not yet Rey, not yet..I  _ need  _ to feel you come on my cock"

"Oh I miss your cock inside of me  _ so much _ Ben. Fuck me. Now."

He growls and stands, lifting her. She knows what he wants. She wraps her legs around him. He turns and lays her on the bed. He quickly stands over her and strips while she watches. 

"Rey, You look so damn good baby"

As much as he needs to be inside of her, he wants to take his time, just  _ relish  _ in her. He wants to explore her first. 

He lays next to her, running his hands all over her body, trying to slow his instincts to take her. He wants this to last.

"But you said I'm too skinny" 

He kisses her neck, right behind her ear.

"Now, you know why I said that, I just want you to eat"

He runs his hand down the side of her body, sliding it under her ass. He pinches it. 

"Not too skinny here, I love your ass...I missed your  _ ass _ "

She leans up and bites his shoulder. He yelps then growls.

"Don't make fun and don't pinch me. I'll eat more I promise. I just don't feel hungry lately. Too stressed without you here"

"I just want you to be okay. Besides it takes a lot of stamina to keep up with me"

"Oh you are so full of yourself" 

"Yes and I'd like you full of myself too" 

She punches him. They proceed to wrestle each other. He eventually overcomes her and pins her down. 

He looks down at her, serious again. 

"Rey I love you so much. Don't ever forget that. I want to touch and kiss and suck and bite and lick every inch of your body and I want to fuck you until you scream"

"Yes, do that. All of that…."

He leans down and catches her lips with his teeth. She suddenly rolls him over. Now she is on top. She reaches into her hair and slowly unties it, seductively shaking it loose.

_ It's longer _ , he spoke through their dyad _ , I love it _ .

She lays her body on him, all of her touching all of him. 

He is entranced, enthralled and captured. She is amazing to him. He had missed her so much. She kisses his neck slowly and for what feels like forever. He runs his hands all over her. He can't get enough of her. 

She relishes in his touch. His hands are so rough and large. He lights fire under her skin. She has needed his hands on her for three months. 

"Never again" she whispers.

"Never again what?" He knows but he needs to hear it out loud.

"I can't go without your hands on me ever again, not even one day"

"I want to go slow in you Rey but I don't know how long it will last. It's been so long"

"Well then it's a good thing we have all night" she smiles into his neck.

"Woman you are killing me"

She sits up, straddling him. She places her hands on his abs, rises up and sinks onto his cock, pushing him as deep as he can go. She moans loudly. 

"Ben……."

His fists slam into the mattress as he is overwhelmed by her.

He almost comes right then but somehow stops himself. He has not had to use this much restraint since that first time he was inside of her.

"Reyyy….Rey….oh fuck… baby I missed you...don't move..not yet. I can't hold back"

She listens for maybe 5 seconds. Then she slowly grinds him, running her hands all over his chest and abs. 

He can't watch her. He knew he'd come apart in her right away if he did. She likes to put on a show for him and he loves her little shows. 

He really wants to stroke her clit and watch her go wild. But he just holds her thighs. Her amazing thighs. He moves his hands from her thighs to her hips then back down. He secretly loves how her hips were made rounder from carrying his children. He feels how lithe her thighs are now from all the extra training. Even after all these years he still can't believe she lets him  _ touch  _ her like this. 

After several amazing minutes, he makes the mistake of looking at her. Her eyes are closed, head back, her breasts are bouncing with every move she makes. He is torn between grabbing them and just watching them  _ bounce.  _ He chooses the latter, watching her nipples harden. His mouth waters to taste them. Her body is glistening with sweat as she moves lustfully on top of him, in complete abandonment 

The gutteral, filthy sounds she is making are killing him, moans and growls as she drags his name out. Force he loves it when she growls his name. 

"Ben…" 

In her mind she is throwing words at him.

_ I missed you so much. I missed your body. I missed how you make me feel. You are the only man I've ever wanted. You feel so good inside of me. I love how your cock feels inside of me.  _

He can't hold back anymore. 

He leans up, grabs her body and rolls, pulling out of her. She whimpers, missing him inside of her. He grins at her missing him. 

He is on top now. He has a question.

"Are you still mine? Do you still belong to me Rey?"

"I'm yours Ben. You own me. Do I own you?"

"Kriff Rey, yes, yes you own me"

He slams his mouth onto hers, his tongue taking over her mouth. He is over the top of her, both hands above her head. He pulls his mouth away to ask her another question. 

"Will you take my hand?"

She slides both hands up his back, his shoulders then up his arms and runs them above her head, grabbing both of his hands, intertwining her fingers with his. 

Her hands felt like fire going up his body.

"Yes"

"I love you Rey"

"Make love to me Ben, make me scream"

"Damn Rey" 

He thrusts into her as hard as he ever has. He needs to claim her again. 

She rides with him, hollering his name, wrapping her legs around him, clenching him as hard as she can.

He goes up on his knees and grabs one leg and brings it up to his neck, needing to go deeper inside of her. He kisses down her calf, running his hands up and down her thighs. Her hands grasp her breasts, fondling herself. She knows he likes that. He smiles wickedly at her, thrusting harder. 

"Holy Fuck Rey….you are so fucking fine right now. I'm going to make love to you but right now I just need to fuck you"

"Fuck me, Ben Solo"

She finds herself growling with exquisite pain. She can handle it. She can always handle him. She was born to handle him. 

He feels her heat and wetness build. He feels throbbing as she begins to clench him. He knows she is close. He doesnt know how he can keep going. He lets go of her leg, feeling it wrap around him again. He goes down on her body and grabs her nipple with his mouth, sucking furiously.

And then she's gone, over the edge. She grabs his hair, pulling, gasping, arching her back, barely able to breathe or think. Only he does this to her. Only Ben.

They come together, moaning, gasping, groaning and growling. 

Neither of them can breathe, much less speak. 

He has to throw himself to the side to keep from falling onto her. 

She has taken all the strength he had left but he still manages to grab her and pull her body to his. He can't believe how sweaty they both are. That was  _ intense.  _

He can't talk yet so he speaks through their bond.

_ Have I told you I missed you? _

_ About 87 times, _ she whispered into his mind.

_ Make that 88 then.  _ He kisses her forehead, tasting her sweat. He loves how he had made her sweat. 

_ Let's do that 99 more times, once for every day we were apart _

_ Woman I always wondered if you were trying to kill me with your body, now I know you are _

_ Foolproof plan, isn't that what you used to think? A hell of a way to go?  _

She smiles with a wink.

"Oh you heard that back then?" 

She leans up over his chest, tracing her fingertips across his skin.

"Yes and it drove me wild that you thought I was that sexy"

"You were my sexy scavenger desert queen. You still are. Kriff Rey, I think you've pretty much fulfilled every fantasy I've ever had of you. You are  _ better  _ than any fantasy I've ever had of you. " He kisses her again, pulling her closer to his face. 

He rolls to his side and places his forehead against hers, allowing her to rest her head on his strong bicep. He slowly runs his hand up and down her back, causing her to sigh out loud. She had missed his hands badly. He made her feel so protected. 

"I'm so relaxed Ben. It's like I'm complete now. Without you half of me is missing"

"I'm here now my love. You go to sleep. I'll probably wake you up later" 

He smirks.

"Oh please do. Please please do"

She tilts her chin up and kisses him, running her hands into his hair. She has wanted to feel his hair in her hands again. 

Her fingernails caress his scalp and he moans. He always liked that. He thought about the first time she did that. In the shower that first night. She had come after him that night, deciding it was time to consummate their relationship. Deciding they had waited long enough to touch each other. She wasn't even nervous as she walked up behind him, naked, running her hands around his body, changing him forever. He loved that night and how she went from the girl he had fought for a year, fantasized about for a year, to the woman who made that fantasy become true. She was no longer his enemy but his lover. He had thought of her lustfully for months, dying to touch her, to possess her. He died that night, only to be reborn as her lover. She had made his fantasies shrink in comparison to what she did to his body. 

The thought of that moment in the shower renews his strength. He needs her again. He grows hard against her belly. He makes eye contact with her.

"Sorry, I know you are tired" he says to her

"Ben, I'm not that tired" she whispers, touching her tongue to his lips. 

She traces his gorgeous mouth with the tip of her tongue. Tracing her tongue around and around. She especially likes his bottom lip so she sucks on it. 

He grunts and pulls her roughly against his body, so he can feel her breasts against him.

"Make love to me, Ben"

He obliges, rolling over on her, sliding his hand under her ass, lifting her. He never takes his mouth off of hers as he slides up inside of her slowly. She moans from the pain from how rough they were a few minutes ago. He senses she is sore but she keeps moving her hips up at him, needing him again. 

He goes slow, which was something he can rarely do but he wants this to last. He needs it. She is still his drug.

As he slowly moves against her, she locks eyes with him. She runs her fingertips over his face, whispering into his mind how much she loves him, needs him and wants him. She wants to touch all of him so she does. His face, his neck, his shoulders, his arms, his back. Her fingers caress all of him, slowly. He's completely under her spell.

They are together again and the force  _ hums  _ with pleasure.

He has never felt this with her. Deep deep love like a well. The more she stares at him, the more he falls into her eyes. She is making love to him on a different level. It isn't like all the other times. He's not thinking of how wet and hot she is, how incredibly sexy she is. He is thinking of her soul. How it is twisted up, entangled with his. He has been through literal hell with her, for her. He thinks about how he was so lost before her. How the words "There's a girl" changed him forever. How he saw her in the forest that day and he was caught by her. 

He'd do it all again but this time, as soon as she took over his mind, instead of trying to manipulate her, he'd release her from those binders and carry her to the closest tie fighter and leave it all behind. 

He had wanted to do it back then. 

He would run away from everything with her. He should have. He had been a fool.

But now he was the luckiest damn fool in the galaxy. Somehow, some way, she'd fallen in love with him and he's never forgot for one minute how lucky he is.

Like a slow burning fire, their bodies move together. It is the best sex they've ever had, not even going fast or being wild and loud. Just slow, staring at each other, lost in each other's minds. 

The heat inside her slowly builds until every muscle inside of her starts contracting. She lets out a slow low moan. She's never climaxed like this. It is deeper, more powerful. She lifts her head up and buries her face into his neck, clutching her body around him. He slides his hands under her, hugging her to him, still using his elbows to hold himself up. 

Usually he'll feel her clench around him and start pounding her wildly but he actually is so drunk with whatever this was, he pushes deep in and out of her slowly. And he  _ loves _ it. 

She made sounds he'd never heard her make. She's then convulsing against him, like an earthquake. Her fingernails dig into him. 

He's never felt her body do this. Her arms and legs are tightly wrapped around him. It is mind shattering. He can't even think. He doesn't even know how he has not come yet. 

She collapses backwards onto the bed with a loud shout, completely spent, tears spilling down her cheeks.

He thrusts slowly once, twice, three times and comes in her, growling her name slowly.

He stays above her, speechless, looking at her exhausted face. He searches her mind and finds that she can't even form a thought. What was that? Can we make it happen again? That was….soul binding.

She feels heavier and heavier in his arms as she falls asleep.

He watches her mouth slowly come open, her chest rise and fall slowly, sleeping deeply, under his body. 

He doesn't want to get off of her. He doesn't want this feeling to end. He moves to lay down next to her, rolling her to her side, not even pulling out of her. He just can't break that physical connection. He pulls her up to his chest and covers them both with her favorite blanket, the one that smells like her.

His last thought is, yes, I'd burn down the galaxy for her.

  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	31. Morning Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after finds Ben and Rey talking over their love, their past and Ben's desire to right the wrongs he committed in his past.

He hears her sigh, content. She burrows herself closer, her head tucked securely under his chin. She pushes herself more and more into him, turning her face up to kiss his long neck, breathing his scent.

"Keep going you'll be under me." He whispers, tilting his chin up, enjoying the feel of her plush lips on his skin, her naked body pressed against his. His fingers casually run through her long tresses.

"Mmmmm….that's an idea." She slowly scratches his back, feeling the muscles move under his skin. Her fingertips move to each beauty mark, absentmindedly counting each one. She knows where each one marks him, without even looking.

"I missed your body" Rey fairly moans.

"Using me for sex….I knew it"

"Of course…." Rey kisses his cheek, nuzzling him with her nose.

"Keep it up…..." He reaches and kisses her firmly, smiling widely. 

He is slowly realizing how much he truly missed her. Home is wherever she is. He now realizes he'd follow her anywhere, even if he had two little princesses in tow with him. 

"Did I mention never again?" He whispers, lifting his long leg and hooking it around hers, leaving her thigh to settle against his length, which is now semi-hard. The night has left his body wrought with exhaustion. The good kind. The kind that leaves one completely relaxed and subdued. 

"Yes, over and over. And over. Like other things you did last night. During the  _ things _ you did to me last night" She grins against his chest, planting kisses all along. She simply wants to kiss every inch of him, smell his sweat and vistages of his soap. Just…. _ him.  _ His smell. She had missed it so much. 

"I mean it, I don't think the force liked it either"

She pulled back, looking into his eyes.

"Yes, I think so too. It was an... unsettlement….a sadness….a…."

"Grieving." They both say.

"Almost like…." She adds.

"Back then." He finishes.

She goes back to work kissing his chest.

"Nothing could feel as bad as back then" she sighs, turning her head to press her ear against his chest, listening to his heart beat. 

"But we didn't know why it felt so bad" he lays his large hand on her cheek. "At least, not for a long time"

The warmth of his chest coupled with his hand is like a cocoon. She feels so safe. So protected.

"You are. I'll always protect you Rey. That's all I ever want to do with the rest of my life. Protect you and my girls. Take care of you and Driea and Leia. I wish I could fix more but…."

She pulls away from him, cupping his face. "Fix more what?" 

She knows but he needs to say it. 

"Fix...everything Rey. Make amends….somehow. I ran away. What Aja said last night…that I was a horrible man. It's like I was under a spell or something. Was that really me? Did I really do all that? It doesn't seem real now. Like a nightmare.

And then I just ran away from the mess I made"

"You didn't run. I took you away Ben. I  _ took _ you. You were so confused. I could see you were. Everything happened so fast and you weren't even sure of who you were. I had to get you away from everything. I  _ had _ to. Everything in me had to. I wanted you all to myself. For once. For fucking once, I wanted  _ something _ ,  _ someone _ to call  _ mine _ . And not just that. I told you on Kef Bir. I wanted  _ Ben.  _ My Ben. I wanted your heart and your soul. I'm the reason you left it all. And I had to keep you safe. I was not going to live without you. Not anymore."

Ben roughly pulls her up his body and crashes his mouth into hers. The kiss is fire, hot and burning wildly, consuming both of them. One hand is possessively running over her back and her rear and her thigh. The other is caught up in her hair. He covers her with his frame. In the past he worried about crushing her but after several years he's learned that she likes it when he does this. She feels owned, possessed. And she loves being owned by him. 

Their kisses don't allow for breath, much less speech.

_ Kriff, woman, how did I ever deserve you? You are my saving grace, Rey. You are beyond beautiful and I'll never let you go again, do you hear me? I can't be without you next to me…... _

_ I love you Ben……. _

His hand finds its way between her thighs. He needs her heat on his fingers. He needs to watch her come one more time. But as his finger slides inside, he feels across the bond how sore she is. He withdraws.

_ I'm sorry my sweet girl. I think we may have overdone it…. _

"Oh no Ben Solo, don't you ever feel guilty for making me sore. I love it. But maybe we should've stopped after round number eight….."

His eyes widen.. "We did it  _ nine _ times last night? Damn, no wonder I'm exhausted"

She giggles that little giggle that's just for him.

"But then again, number nine was  _ amazing _ "

They'd simply lost count of the kisses, the moans and the orgasms. They'd fallen into each other again and again, desperate to overcome the feeling of being alone, being lonely. Yes the force bonds had been,  _ nice.  _ Fun, even. But nothing like the fire they experienced when they touched. When they embraced, skin on skin, melting together. The bond was humming now, content, happy, even. They weren't to be apart, it seemed. The force willed it. 

He turns her naked form away, bringing her back to his chest. It was a way to quell the temptation. Her body needed time. Hell, his did too, if he was honest. They needed sustenance. But just a moment more, he thought, pulling her closer. He thought about what she had said a moment ago.

"It wasn't your job to keep me safe"

She sits up, sliding up her bed,  _ their  _ bed and settles her back against the wall. He turns his face up to her, wrapping his arm around her thighs, burying his face into her waist.

"Like hell it wasn't. You belonged to  _ me.  _ You were  _ mine.  _ You were supposed to be mine from the beginning but  _ he  _ took you. He took you from Leia and Han. He took you from me too."

_ I wasn't supposed to be scavenging in the desert. I was supposed to be with  _ **_you._ **

She sniffles and tears escape her eyes. He sits up and pulls her to him, reaching to her face and catching her tears, wiping them away.

"I would've come to you." He whispers into her hair. "I would've found you and saved you from that kriffing place. I would've saved you from Plutt, who I  _ still _ plan to meet one day, by the way. You would have been fed and safe and had a real bed and everything"

She smiles and her eyes smile with her, causing him to gasp inside. He still cannot believe this creature smiles at him. This burn-bright thing. 

"You are nine years older than me. I can just see this teenage boy dragging my five year old self out of my AT-AT. Then what? They raise me as your baby sister?"

"No, Rey. It would've all been like it is now. I don't know how. But it would've been. You would've been safe, kept from harm. Raised like you deserved. A home. A family. And somehow you would've still wound up in my arms. I know it. The Force willed us together. Just like this"

"I love you so much, Ben. So so much"

"I love you more my Rey"

She stands to go to the 'fresher, her knees a bit wobbly. She smiles. 

"Kriff Ben, you wore me out. My legs won't even work right"

"You need to eat. Tell me how to get to the mess hall. I need to check on the girls anyways, make sure they've eaten"

"Zorii and Poe have them. Believe me, he will give them whatever they demand." She adds with a laugh. "He's fallen, deep"

"Yeah, don't remind me"

Her eyebrows raise as she walks away. "Ben Solo, are you  _ jealous _ over your baby girls and Poe? Really?"

"He called Leiliana Baby Girl last night" Ben says with clenched teeth. 

She throws her head back with a loud laugh. "Ohhhhh, shame on him"

"It's not funny"

"You gotta learn to share, you jealous oaf"

"She's  _ my  _ baby girl."

Rey walks over to her husband and stands on her tiptoes, kissing him.

"You are so funny. But go, fetch me some food. I'm starving. Get. Cause this jealous Papa thing is extremely sexy and I'm sure if I make love to you again right now I'll be useless for  _ days _ "

"You're starving? Finally"

He throws his clothes on. "Oh wait, tell me what Zorii looks like. I have a feeling meeting her is going to be interesting"

"Easy, the most gorgeous woman on the base, can't miss her"

At that, Rey turns to walk to the 'fresher. Ben watches her bare rear end and calls out to her.

"The most gorgeous woman on the base is in this room and has the sexiest ass I've ever seen! Now, don't forget that Rey Solo!"

  
  
  
  
  
  



	32. Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben feeds Rey, we see adorable jealous Papa Ben and Rey finds out just how LOUD Ben was the night before!

Ben returns with more food than Rey can eat in one day. He places it on her small table after pushing aside her many many manuals and her Jedi texts. She just stares at him.

"Don't look at me that way. Eat it. The kitchen was closed and I don't think they like me very much. I had to mention your name or starve. I have a feeling that will be normal around here."

She sits and takes a few bites of some meat, making a face and pushing it away. 

"Ughhhh….I'm not that hungry"

"I swear I'll hold you down"

She wiggles her eyebrows. "Promise?"

"AND FORCE-FEED YOU"

She snaps her fingers. "Dammit"

"I did manage to find a treat for you. All I did was say this is for Rey and wallah, air cake….seems your sweet tooth hasn't suffered…."

Her eyes are like saucers as she jumps up to grab it. "Air Cake!"

He snatches it away. "At least eat the fruit"

Rey stands and slides her arms around him. "Only if you feed me…."

He looks down at her, holding the cake above his head "Dammit woman I missed you"

~*~

Zorii and Poe soon return with the girls.

"Mama! Papa!" Leiliana comes running, climbing into Rey's lap, who is in Ben's lap.

"Papa, you are feeding Mama again? Like at home?"

Leia grabs the bread from Ben's fingers with her mouth. He snatches his hand back, untrusting of those sharp teeth. 

"Yes and now apparently you too, silly girl, let Mama up before you kick her"

"No it's okay Ben, I missed her so much she can stay right here"

"Cake!" Leia immediately grabs it.

"No Leia that's for Mama…." Ben scolds.

"It's alright Ben. Leia share with your sister"

"Yet another reason she doesn't eat" points out Zorii, who is holding a squirmy Driea as she struggles to get to the cake. 

"Yes it is" sighs Ben. "You must be Zorii"

"I am. You must be Ben. Well, I see where their hair comes from. They have beautiful hair"

"Try brushing it" murmurs Rey, running her fingers through both girls hair and getting into tangles almost immediately. "See?"

"Oh, I think Auntie Zorii can take care of that. Bring them to me later"

Ben smirks."Finally, I don't have to deal with it"

"Awww poor Papa, worn out" Rey jokes, smoothing Ben's hair back out of his eyes. 

Poe shifts uncomfortably. 

Ben notices. "Thanks Poe. For helping with them" 

"Umm, yeah. Well I gotta go. I've been away too long" He points to Zorii. "Meeting at 1400?"

"I'll be there. Is Rey supposed to be there?" 

Poe looks at Rey and quickly looks away. Rey could swear she saw a bit of color on Poe's cheeks. 

"Uh, yeah. You too Rey"

He turns to go and Driea proceeds to cry. 

She runs at him, wrapping her arms around his knees. Rey smiles and covers her mouth with her hand, looking at Zorri.

"No Uncle Poe! Don't leave! You said you'd play horsie again!"

Rey glances down at a sulking mass of Papa Ben. She quickly hides her smile and stands, lifting Leia and placing her in Ben's lap.

"Give Papa hugs, he needs it"

Ben glares at her and Rey bites her smile with her teeth. 

"C'mon someone needs a nap, sounds to me like, come lay down with me and sister and Papa in my bed. Uncle Poe won't forget. The poor man is exhausted. He probably needs a nap too"

She settles Driea on her hip and smiles at Poe. He still won't look at her but he does mumble. "Caf is definitely in order. Meeting this afternoon. I want all of you there. You too Ben"

Zorii reaches to kiss Driea's tears on her cheek and then Rey has to pry her daughter's hands off of Zorii. She whispers. "What's his deal?" and nods at Poe, who is leaving rather quickly.

"We'll talk about it at training"

Rey sighs. "Oh no! Training! Zorii I've got to get her down….."

Ben takes his still-crying-for-Uncle-Poe daughter from Rey. "Go on, I've got her"

"You sure?"

"Yes, go" 

Rey kisses Driea then Leiliana (managing to steal the rest of the air-cake while doing it) then her pouting husband. 

"You didn't eat enough"

"I will at lunchtime, I promise"

Rey turns to go out the door just in time to hear Ben say "I can play horsie. I'm a better horsie than Uncle Poe, aren't I?"

_ Ben…….be nice…... _ Rey whispers through their bond.

_ Well I am a better horsie. I'm bigger.  _

_ ~*~ _

Rey and Zorii work on quarter staff maneuvers and pause for a break, sitting on the training room floor. Zorii tells her all about their night filled with horsie and coloring and hair braiding and trying to wrestle two four year olds to sleep. Seems that the hair braiding was performed on Uncle Poe by Driea and Leiliana. 

"Poe cannot wait to tease Ben about the braids he apparently sports on a daily basis. He stopped them from weaving ribbon in. So you are telling me that your big hunk of husband is walking around with ribbons weaved in his hair?"

"I have holovids." Rey tells her, smiling.

"Ohhh you could totally sell that and make tons!! Former Supreme Leader in braids!!"

Rey and Zorii can no longer breathe from laughing so hard.

Finally calming down, Rey gets serious.

"What was Poe's deal? I thought he was getting more comfortable with Ben"

"Umm, you  _ do _ know your quarters are next to his? Poe went to his room during the night and came back positively red. He said he's going to have to move his room!" 

Rey's face causes Zorii to almost hurt herself laughing.

"Oh, oh Force Zorii!"

"There's a reason we don't sleep in his room Rey!"

Her face literally burns with embarrassment. 

"I'll never be able to look at him again. Ohhh I should've been quieter"

"Well apparently, you weren't the one who was  _ loud _ at that moment. I'm so damn proud of you, my sweet little Rey. Taking care of her man…..got him hollering out your name" She grins a purely wicked grin. 

Rey leans forward on the floor, mortified. 

"Oh noooo." Rey hides her face in her arms.

"I think he'll recover. So I take it things went well last night? He better have made you scream too. You deserve it"

"Oh Kriff Zorii  _ shut up _ "

Zorii just crosses her arms and stares. 

"Yes, okay? Yes." Rey's eyes sparkle.

"OHHHHHHHH….I  _ see _ it in your  _ eyes  _ now! Oh girl you are glowing!!" Zorii grins even more "And you didn't tell me how  _ tall  _ he is….climb that man like a tree girl. Like a damn tree"

Rey sits up, recovering. She's learning how to go back at Zorii. She wiggles her brows.

"Ohhh, I did. Positively _ climbed _ "

Zorii fell out laughing on the floor "Look at you, coming out of your shell! I'm so fucking  _ proud _ right now!"

"Repeatedly Zorii. Re.peat.ed.ly"

"I love you Rey. I fucking love you. Wait….how many times is repeatedly??"

Rey holds up nine fingers.

" _ Are you fucking serious?" _

Rey grins, mimicking Zorii's wicked grin. 

"I bow before you. NINE?? With HIM?? How are you even,  _ veritical  _ right now? I mean, from what I was told, it was quite  _ exuberant _ in there"

"I'm fine and can we  _ please  _ not talk about what Poe heard? Oh Kriff, I am so embarrassed"

"Damn Rey. Here I'm thinking you are this sweet demure little thing.  _ Nine??  _ NINE?? I need a minute…." Zorii fans herself "Must be a Force thing. Ohhhh you use the Force don't you??"

Rey reaches over and shoves her friend.

"Stop it! You are a nut! We have work to do. Oh, I haven't even thanked you for watching them last night. That was so great of you"

"Oh, they are precious Rey. Little sweethearts"

"Wait, did you watch my kids? Cause precious is not quite the word…"

"Oh you leave them baby girls alone"

"Oh, oh. Get this. Poe called Leia Baby Girl when Ben was listening and he got  _ jealous _ "

"Now that is adorable. You call her Leia?"

"Ben does, mostly"

"Awww, girl. I know so many people are not liking Ben being here but I think he's a good man. Jealous over another man calling his daughter baby girl? Nicknaming his daughter after his Mama? Giving my best friend numerous orgasms in one night? I love this man. Redeemed in my eyes. Completely redeemed. Plus I've been told he has basically rebuilt your village? You didn't tell me that"

Rey finds herself overcome with emotion. "I'm your best friend?"

"Oh girl. Yes. I've never known anyone like you. I've never had a friend I am so in awe of. You are so strong and beautiful and funny. You are an amazing person"

Rey now has tears flowing.

"You are my first female friend ever"

"What about Rose? You've known her longer"

"I mean, yeah but we've not spent much time together. Not like me and you"

"Well, I feel privileged. Thank you for letting me be your first girlfriend. You need women in your life Rey. Us women need each other. Me and you and Jannah and Rose, we need each other"

"Yes, I see that now. I love Poe and Finn but with them, I'm Rey of Jakku. Jedi Rey. With you I am Rey Solo. Ben's wife. I can talk about him and my girls and be who I've become. Those two, they aren't seeing  _ me.  _ Also, they are so over protective and I'm nervous. Ben's here now. The tension is  _ thick.  _ I don't know how to handle this"

"We will figure it out. I'll deal with Poe"

Rey sighs. "Can I say something I've  _ never  _ said to anyone?"

"Of course, always"

" **_MEN!!!_ ** "

Zorii and Rey both fall backwards onto the training mat, laughing hysterically. 

  
  
  
  



	33. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first meeting involving Ben leads to much tension.

Poe informs everyone of the status of the children and plans to locate the families. It's a huge project that Jannah runs.

"She's been amazing, returning most of the children home. Unfortunately there are children who were already orphaned, namely from Jakuu. Rey, I think Hux went there knowing there would be many orphans, struggling like you did. My thought is that he figured they would come willingly"

"Well at least they won't have to scavage like Rey did," says Ben. 

"Or sell themselves. I was lucky," says Rey. 

Only Rey feels anger surge through Ben. Plutt's reckoning is never too far from his mind lately. He wonders how he could get away to Jakuu. What she didn't know….

Rey looks back to Poe. "What are your thoughts on those children?"

"For now, keep them here. It's not so many that we can't care for them. They can learn any skills they are interested in. Piloting, mechanics, technology, etc"

"But will they be allowed to leave eventually? Or made to fight for you?" Ben asks. His words are rather sharp. 

"What do you mean by that?" Poe asks, leaning across his desk.

"Will they be slaves here? I thought the point was to give them freedom."

"Slaves? The fuck, Ben?"

Rey intervenes. "Poe, you need to remember, Ben...well, Kylo, back then….was doing his best to  _ overturn _ child slavery. He's just concerned that the children will feel obligated to stay here"

Finn speaks up. "When did you suddenly become opposed to child slavery? You didn't say shit before you killed Snoke"

"He wasn't  _ allowed _ to say shit Finn! You act like he had a  _ voice. _ He was basically held prisoner…."

"Stop Rey. Stop speaking for me"

He turns to Finn, sitting close enough that when he does, his height causes his knees to almost touch Finn's. He leans forward.

"I've never called you Finn, have I? No. Well Finn, I don't know what you want me to say. I had opinions. My grandfather was a child slave. But mostly, Rey was. The woman I love was. I loved her a year ago and I love her now. I implemented change for children like her. I couldn't help her, my stupid mistakes kept me from knowing about her until she was an adult. But the least I could do was try to create change for the future. And maybe try to lure her to the First Order in the process. Thank the Maker she was too smart for that. But I don't owe you enough to explain that to you. I never cared for the stormtrooper program either. I wanted clones or droids but no one gave a shit what I wanted. I do owe you an apology but there's no point,  _ Finn.  _ No fucking point. You won't change. And that's some sad shit because that means I could do something you aren't capable of, which is to stop hating. It'll kill you if you keep hating me but go ahead, I'll just watch."

Rey has her hand on Ben's arm. "Stop. Both of you. Please. For me."

Ben never takes his eyes off of Finn's as he sits back, reaches up and laces his fingers through Rey's, nodding, not taking his eyes off of Finn's. 

"Alright, sweetheart, I'll stop. For you."

Rey sits back down next to Ben but doesn't let go of his hand. He pulls her hand possessively into his lap, just needing to feel her skin against his. 

_ I loved that Ben. I love you.  _

He nods. He's trying to control his emotions at the moment, not something he's excelled at for long. 

_ If he didn't mean so much to you Rey… _

_ I know. Something's changed about him. _

"Ben" Poe speaks.

Ben looks at him. 

"The children can leave as soon as they are old enough to take care of themselves. Maybe by then the Resistance won't be needed anymore? Maybe by then…."

"The galaxy will be at peace. Finally." says Rey. 

Ben shakes his head. "I love my wife's optimism but that will never happen. Where there is light, there will always be darkness. I would know."

No one responds. They know it's true. 

"What about Ty?" 

This comes from Finn. Rey smiles. That's the Finn she knows. The tender hearted Finn. 

Poe sits. "That was my next discussion. He's with Rothbert."

"Who?" asks Ben. 

"Rey, you were supposed to update him on all that last night"

"Ummmm…..oh yeah" Rey responds, blushing. Her blush causes Poe to blush and Zorii to smile.

"I told you she would forget, Poe. You expect too much." Zorii says to her fiance.

Poe is not looking at Ben as he responds. "The First Order general who helped us"

"He didn't help  _ enough _ . My wife could've been killed."

"You don't think I know that? She's important to all of us Ben!"

"She's not just Rey now! She's my wife! And a mother! You won't just go  _ throwing  _ her out there Dameron! Not anymore."

Zorii reaches out to touch Ben's hand. "I was there too Ben. We all were. He was scared for me too."

"Not enough that he went with you! Dammit!" 

Rey reaches and rubs Ben's neck, hoping it will calm him. He takes a deep breath. 

"Ben, you know why Poe didn't go….we talked about it"

Ben sighs. "I don't know him, this Rothbert guy. He must be new."

Everyone settles back down. Poe just stares at Ben. He decides they need to talk one on one. Away from everyone else. 

"So, he has Ty? He's keeping him safe?" asks Rey. 

"He's using the cover that the boy is now his apprentice."

"Hux will figure it out. Roth, whatever his name is, better watch his ass," Ben says. 

"He's come up with an escape plan. We will help him if we need to."

"He is underestimating Hux. Go after Ty."

"Will you help if we do?"

"I'm only in this meeting because you asked me to come. I have no interest in this."

"But Ben, you know what he's capable of."

Rey says to Ben, causing a silent conversation to ensue. 

_ Why are you fighting me? Is that why you wanted me here? _

_ No! I wanted you here because you are my husband but I want peace Ben and you can help. _

_ Do me a favor and quit fighting me  _ **_here_ ** _. You know they don't want me here. Can we do this later? Privately? _

_ You are right, I'm sorry. _

The group watches this wordless argument between the couple, not sure what to do. 

Rey looks around the room. "I support Ben if he doesn't want to be a part of the Resistance, just as he supports me because I do"

Finn stands, "I knew it. He just comes here and is  _ useless _ , knowing what we are up against!!"

Rey jumps up, "Dammit Finn!"

Ben stands and faces Finn. "Rey, sit down. I came here for her. Only her. I didn't even ask to be in this meeting"

He walks towards the door. 

"Ben, we need your help," Poe says, reluctantly. 

"I can't help you"

"Ben", Finn calls out. "We both know that's bullshit. If I know what I know, I can't imagine what you know. You can fool everyone, even your  _ wife  _ but you and I both know that you can tell us things about the First Order that none of us know. You know I'm right."

He turns to look at everyone. "Rey, I'm going to see the girls"

He walks out. Everyone looks at Rey. 

"Don't. Don't ask me anything"

"Dammit Rey. You are really going to make me say it, aren't you?" Poe stands with his fists on his desk, bent over. "He's the best pilot here. I swear if you tell him I said that I'll never babysit again. He's the best. I need him on missions. And I need his advice. He knows Hux. He knows how he thinks"

"Just….let it go for today, okay?"

"Alright, for today"

They all realize that it's almost dinner and they all have duties to tend to. Everyone leaves but Rey. She stands to leave. 

"Hey", Poe calls out. "I didn't mean that"

Rey turns. "Which part?"

"I said first priority and I meant it. I'll babysit anytime. Besides, it's nice being Uncle Poe."

"They adore you. Aja does too."

"Yeah, well, I have that affect on women."

Rey just shakes her head and smiles. 

Poe looks up at Rey. "Aja needs to stay here. Zorii and her, they are becoming closer. She needs to stay with us. I don't like the thought of her leaving"

"Where would she go?"

"I thought she would leave with you when you go home"

"What? I had not even considered that. Poe, I have my hands full enough. I care for her but I can't give her what she needs"

"Really? I just assumed…"

"Poe? Are you getting all Papa-ish over her? You make me think of Ben, who by the way is insanely jealous of you with the girls. It's so damn adorable"

Poe smiles at that revelation.

"I don't know Rey. She's a good kid. She doesn't take my shit."

"She doesn't take Ben's either. She straight up confronted him. Told him he had been a horrible man."

Poe sits and tries to hide his smile. "Oh shit. How'd he take that?"

"It made him think."

"That's Aja alright, she makes you think."

Rey leans against the doorframe, looking down at the floor. 

"Poe?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. You know, you are hiding it well, how you really feel about Ben."

Poe stares at her for a moment. 

"He's growing on me. Don't tell him I said that. I've got a reputation to uphold, you know. You're happy though, right?

"I am Poe."

"He's protective. I watch him watch you. He does love you."

He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his quickly silvering curly locks. 

"What?" She asks. 

"It's just crazy. He talks about me sending you into danger.  _ He _ was the one trying to hurt you back then. It's like he doesn't remember."

"Poe, he never tried to hurt me. He was solely in defense mode every time. Remember, I stabbed him. With his own saber, no less. No, he never tried to kill me."

"He never interrogated you. Not like he did me."

"Talk to him Poe. Please. This won't work if you two don't talk about it. I want him to tell you everything. I can't tell you. It's….not mine to tell and it's too sacred for me to tell you. He has to tell you. But Poe, if he doesn't stay….."

"You will leave with him…."

"Just as Zorii would with you. Marriage is a promise Poe. She will be your first priority."

"She already is."

"Then you understand."

"He's different, Rey. I can see it. He's, not evil anymore. Not....haunted"

"No, he's not. He's my Ben. He's who I saw back then. Under all that….mess"

"You changed him Rey, you are good for him"

"No, I held up the mirror. He changed himself. And he's the best thing that ever happened to me. He's my home."


	34. First Priority

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Driea and Leiliana Solo have taken the base by storm, Finn wrestles with his anger and Rey decides nothing is as important as her marriage.

The first priority of the Resistance. 

That's what Poe had promised.

They certainly were and had everyone wrapped. 

"Girls, this is Uncle Finn. He is so very special to me. He was the very first friend that Mama ever had"

"In the desert Mama?" asked Driea. 

"Yes, he met me in the desert and we flew the Falcon together"

"Papa Han's ship?" asked Leiliana. 

"Yes, the one you went on yesterday"

She turns to Finn, who is rather speechless at the moment. His eyes are a bit misty, which doesn't surprise Rey. She knew he'd be emotional. That's how he is. 

"Finn, this is Driea. And this is Leiliana"

"Papa calls me Leia. He says I look like my Nana. And I act like her too. She was a Princess"

Finn stoops down and gets eye to eye with this pint sized fireball. 

"You do look like her. I knew her. She was my friend. She was a great lady"

Driea's eyes grow wide. 

" _ You _ knew my Nana?"

Finn looks down and sniffs, clearly already taken. 

"Yes I did. And you, little lady, look like your Mama"

"That's what everyone says"

Finn looks up at Rey, who is beaming with pride. 

"Wow Rey, just….wow"

"They are something" she says, holding both girls to her legs. 

"They are…. gorgeous Rey. Wow"

Ben walks up. He's been in a meeting with Poe and hasn't seen the girls since that morning. 

"PAPA!!!" they yell and charge right at him, full strength. He's quite used to their full on attacks and manages to catch one in each arm, lifting them onto his hips. They both kiss him on the cheeks, their little hands all over his face and in his hair. 

For the first time, Finn sees Ben  _ smile. _ Laughter soons follows and Finn is speechless. 

"Where were you Papa??? We looked for you!" Leia full out yells into his ear. He flinches.

"I was meeting with Uncle Poe. Want to go see the Falcon with me? Chewie's there. You can help Papa fix stuff. I'll teach you to play Dejarik, like when I was your age. I'll show you my old bunk"

"YES!!" they both yell. Ben bounces off, the girls chatting his head off. He just says "Uh-huh, Uh-huh" in response. He's quite a pro at this now. 

Finn watches all of this, his mouth forming a small O.

"You look surprised" Rey inquires. 

"It's just….well...that's an interesting sight to behold"

"What? The former Supreme Leader brought down by two little girls?"

"It seems like he considers it a step up, Rey. I've never seen him smile"

She lays her hand on his arm and he looks at her. "Finn, this is my life now. And I'm happy. I'm oh so very happy. That's my entire galaxy right there. I never thought I'd have a family"

"He seems...so good at it. Like, a natural"

"They absolutely adore him Finn. They kriffing  _ fight _ over him. Leia especially. She gets so jealous over him. Even with me. She doesn't want to share him at all"

"It definitely makes me see him a bit different"

"I hope so Finn. I hope you two can be friends, maybe? Maybe?" she asks. 

"I don't know Rey"

She slides her arm through his, pulling him down the corridor. "Have lunch with me Finn, please? I would like to talk with you. Tell me about Jannah. I haven't spoken with her much. Tell me about this amazing woman you are obviously in love with. She's quite beautiful"

Finn smiles. "Yes, she is. She's amazing"

~*~

Poe and Zorii arrive on the Falcon just in time. The girls are screaming, running in circles through the corridor. Poe almost gets plowed down. He scoops up Driea and halts Leia with the other hand. 

"Woah, woah, woah….slow down. I'm not Papa. I can't catch two blaster bolts at one time"

"That's cause you aren't  _ big _ like Papa! He's got more muscles than you"

Ben snorts, rather loudly. 

"Yeah kid, thanks for the obvious. Not every man is a kriffing giant like your Papa"

"Don't say kriffing Uncle Poe!!"

Ben is really not hiding his obvious enjoyment of this at all. "Yeah, don't say kriffing" he chastises. "They are pure  _ tattletales _ , they will get Rey on you so damn fast"

"PAPA I'M TELLING MAMA YOU SAID DAMN!!!" 

"See?? I can't get away with shit now"

"PAPA!!!" Driea screams, kicking Poe as she leaps out of his arms and runs. 

"Go 'help' Uncle Chewie!! He needs 'help'!!"

They take off in a blur. Zorii is positively tickled at this exchange she just watched. 

"I think I want twins, Poe"

He just looks at his fiance, speechless. 

"NO"

Zorii doubles over, laughing loudly. 

~*~

"Things are just, shaky" 

Finn and Rey sit across from each other, discussing Finn's love life.

"I love her Rey. She's amazing. She gets me. It's just, so much. I guess we didn't take time out to deal with our former lives. And I'm a jackass"

"Why? You were never like that around me"

"If you think about it, I was. I was constantly pushing you. Asking questions, wanting to get you to talk to me and getting angry when you didn't"

"You knew something was going on with me"

"Yes I did." He admits. "I never thought it was Ren though. Never. I thought you hated him."

"Ben"

"Huh?"

"His name is Ben. And no, I never hated him. Never."

"That's bullshit Rey. You saw him kill…."

She looks at him pointedly. "Yes, I did."

"How do you go past that?"

She stares at him, not knowing what to say. Her defenses are rising. 

"Because I have been in his mind and I saw the before, the during and the after. I saw what pushed him to do it. I saw how he was being tortured with force lightening every day that he didn't do it. I've seen the burn scars all over his body. I've seen the nerve damage it caused. I saw him after he did it, thinking the pain would stop. It didn't. Nothing stopped the pain until he lost the first person he ever loved, his mother. And unless you see it, you don't know!!"

"It wasn't easy Finn. And I don't know how to explain it. The force helped. Knowing and  _ seeing _ what Snoke did helped. Finn, you just don't know what he endured. Constantly being tortured. He's covered in scars.  _ Covered _ . Burn marks, huge gashes. That was the physical part. I  _ heard _ what Snoke whispered  _ constantly _ in his mind. It never stopped"

"His face scar is gone"

"It disappeared after I used my life force to keep him alive. I guess because I inflicted it on him, I made it disappear. But even it was still there, I'd still love him"

"To hear you say that, you love him. One of the last things you said to me back then was that you saw yourself and him on the Sith Throne. What was that? You were terrified at the thought of being with him"

Rey shook her head, a small smile forming. "No Finn, you misunderstood. I wasn't afraid of being with Ben. I was afraid of him turning me. I wanted to be with Ben. I was going to take his hand and leave with him after he killed Snoke for me"

Finn's head drops. He begins shaking his head furiously. He lets out a snort. He looks up at Rey, turning his body to stand. 

"Well then it's a good thing Holdo did what she did or we'd all be dead. But at least the last Jedi got her man"

Finn begins to walk away as Rey feels the tears coming. She cannot believe what he just said. She doesn't know if she failed to explain it adequately or if Finn just refuses to see the truth. 

Because he's wrong, she thinks. He's completely wrong. 

"What did he do now?" She looks up to see Rose. 

Rey takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes. "Nothing, it's nothing"

"It's always something with Finn. Always."

Rose sits and takes Rey's hands in her own. "Why do you think I'm not heartbroken? Look, you and Finn have been through so much together. I get that. But hun, he's a different person now. It's too much for you to bear. You've just moved your family here. You cannot fix Finn."

"I just want my old friend back"

"I'm sorry hun, I think he's gone"

"My best friend hates my husband and my husband is contemplating beating the shit out of my best friend"

"Finn isn't your best friend, Rey. Ben is."

Rey lifted her eyes to connect with the eyes of this woman. This beautiful and intelligent creature who has spoken a truth straight to her core. 

"Y-y-yes. Yes Rose. You are right. Ben is my best friend. He's my best friend, my Dyad, my lover and my soulmate. Thank you Rose"

"And you know what? Even though Ben is the man who used to make all of us terrified, I see him. He's a new man. And you helped him find himself. And if Finn can't accept that, tell him to fuck off"

With that, the petite woman stood and left. 

Rey sat there. Yes. Rose is right, she believes. Ben and Leiliana and Driea Solo are her family. Her everything.  _ She _ is Ben's wife. He belongs to her and fuck everyone else who refuses to respect that. Fuck all of them. 

~*~

Ben is visiting with the girls in their bunk. Rey is exhausted. It's been a trying day. She has already said good night to the girls so she decides she needs a long hot shower. 

She comes out to a still-empty room and it hits her. 

She doesn't have to sleep alone tonight. 

He's here. She can finally cuddle up to him and possibly sleep soundly. Every night for months she'd lie awake, reaching for him, trying to convince herself that the bond was enough. It wasn't and it never would be again. Because now he's here and she won't be alone. 

She digs around in her drawer, searching. 

There it is. She slips it on, rolling the sleeves up one, two, three, four,  _ five _ times.

She loves wearing it. 

She snuggles herself into bed, picking up her datapad, intending on reading the notes about the new pilots expected soon. 

_ Fuck it _ .

She finds the story she's been reading. A romance, as usual. She sighs into it, settling into her pillows. 

Ben slips into their quarters to find his wife sound asleep, datapad next to her. He pauses. 

_ She's wearing it.  _

The sweater, the one with the hole she refuses to sew up. 

It's simply his favorite thing to see her in. 

_ Thank you, whoever, whatever, sent her to me.  _

Everything. All of their history. All of it is summed up in one piece of clothing. 

He carefully slides her blanket out from under her and moves her datapad. He arranges her pillows just like she likes and covers her. She's exhausted from the day and, he thinks with just a bit of masculine pride, the sleepless amazing night before. 

He strips down and crawls in next to her. His whole body hurts in a way that feels great because she's the cause of it. He wouldn't even think of making love to her tonight. She's too exhausted. He doesn't think he'd ever be too exhausted to make love to her but as soon as he pulls her back up to his chest, tucks his legs under hers and buries his face into her hair, he's gone. 

He had never slept all night, not even one night in his life, until he had her in his bed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	35. Duties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Jealous Rey ahead!

He feels her stretch like a loth cat against him and turn over. She peppers his neck with soft kisses. Not the kind that suggest anything, just tender and sweet. 

"How did you sleep?" She whispers in her groggy morning voice. 

"Much much better next to you," he whispers "I love you in that shirt."

"It's my favorite. You're my favorite."

"Let's just stay here all day"

"I'm still tired from the night before last. Gloriously tired but tired."

"Believe it or not Rey I wasn't referring to sex. I just want you close. We can talk and eat and just be together. You can read your little romance book."

"I love you"

"I love you too. I know you have new recruits coming though so oh well…."

"What will you do?"

"Poe asked me to help work on some things."

"Oh my gosh Ben" she sits up, the sleeves of "her" shirt tumbling down her arms as she quickly pushes them back up "your meeting with Poe, how did that go?"

He smiles at her, stifling a laugh. 

"What?"

"Your hair and my shirt. You're so funny. It's sticking up everywhere. You're so cute in the mornings."

She hits him, laughing. 

"You should see your hair!"

He smoothes it back. "Yeah, this Skywalker hair. I should cut it." He narrows his eyes at her, knowing what's coming. 

"See, now I'm not speaking to you. You think you're so funny."

She jumps up to go to the fresher and he groans at the fact that she doesn't have panties on. But he'll restrain himself. She needs a break but damn she doesn't make it easy. 

She comes out with shorts on, her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, fussing about him teasing that he's going to cut his hair. He can't understand most of what she's saying as she hunts for her hairbrush. He's mourning the loss of seeing her bare ass. She disappears back into the fresher and reemerges with her hair tamed. 

"Did the meeting go well?"

"Off and on. He told me he has talked to the others about helping us with the girls. That made me feel better. He's got it all lined up. Jannah, Rose, Zorii and Chewie and someone named Kaydel will be taking turns with them when we are working."

"Kay was your mom's assistant."

"Oh great. She probably hates me already. That won't be awkward."

"No Ben," she cuddles up next to him again, grabbing her datapad. "Your mom didn't talk about you. She only talked to me. Kay is really sweet. I don't think she could hate anyone."

"Poe asked me to go in his place on the future missions."

"Kriff! Ben, that's huge. He trusts you. Do you trust him?"

"I'm trying. I keep telling myself that my mom always knew a good leader. She hand-picked him. He does feel like shit for not going last time. Finn's face is known now. Plus I don't think he quite trusts Finn. Babe, he's a bit unstable. And that's pretty bad coming from me."

"You are stable. Now. I don't know what's wrong with Finn."

"He's pissed about me being here. Really really pissed. I can't work with him. He upset you yesterday."

"How did you….oh yeah. You felt it."

"Can you just, not talk about us or me with him? You keep trying to explain us. I don't know how to feel about that. Part of me is proud of you for defending me but babe, I'm a man. It's just….you trying to explain to another man why you are with me. It's like you are trying to justify….us….to a man you know had feelings for you."

"Yeah, I wouldn't like that either...now that you say it that way. I guess like Zorii told me, if they don't like us, or you, or me being with you, fuck them"

Ben laughs, pulling Rey closer. 

"I knew I liked her. Yeah, fuck them."

She is glad she isn't looking at him for her next question.

"Ben, will you tell Poe any First Order info he needs? To help us? To help find Hux? Or Ty? Or any other…."

He cuts her off, knowing she has this habit where she keeps talking when she's afraid to hear his answer.

"I'll do my best. My info is old. But I do know how Hux thinks."

She turns over in his arms, squealing. "Oh thank you!" And she kisses him. The kiss becomes deeper and he can't stop himself as he slides his hand down to cup her ass. Her hands sink into his hair and that's it...he's gone for her again. 

"I can feel you getting hard Ben. I thought you were too tired."

He moans as he grinds into her hip. It doesn't help that her leg is around his waist.

"You can't help it can you Rey? You're just sexy without even trying to be."

She pushes him back and slides down his body. Her hands free his throbbing cock. 

"I'm just a tease. I'll make it up to you."

He can't help but slam his fist into the mattress as her lips slip over the tip. 

Yep, it's a great morning, he thinks. 

~*~

  
  


New fighter pilots are due to arrive today.

Rey stands in position, ready to greet them and assign them to their squadrons.

General Poe introduces himself

"I'm General Poe Dameron. Welcome to Anja Kloss. This is General Finn and General Rey Solo, also in command here. Today you will be introduced to your new home. You will be taken to your quarters and will meet your new roommates. First, General Solo will assign you to your squadron"

Rey walks down the line. She is not as formal as her friend Poe. 

"Hello my name is Rey, what's your name? Where are you from? I don't believe I've been to that planet. I'd love to hear all about it"

She speaks to every new pilot. Poe is frustrated and ready to move to the next step. Finn just leans against some equipment and crosses his arms. 

"You mine as well go sit down, you knew she'd do this" he smirks at Poe.

"Ugh, I've got shit to do, c'mon Rey"

Rey walks up to a beautiful taller woman. She certainly doesn't look like a pilot.

"Hello I'm Rey Solo, what is your name?"

She's not as friendly or nervous as the others. Matter of fact, she looks irritated. 

She tilts her head down towards Rey. "I'm Katlit Rymeas, Rey Solo" snapping out Rey's name rather rudely.

Rey feels a bit disrespected by her response but she moves on. 

I'll have to watch that one, she thinks to herself. 

After assigning the pilots to their squadrons, Rey goes to perform her other duties. Ben also has duties to perform. He is somewhere on base. 

Later that night, after dinner with their daughters, Rey wants to go to the party welcoming the new arrivals.

Ben would rather stay in their quarters and be alone with his wife.

"Ben I'm expected to be there"

"You can go, I'll stay here. I'm tired."

"Okay, I'll miss you"

Rey steps into the shower room to get ready. Later she emerges in a new royal blue dress. It fits her like a glove. Not inappropriate but perfect for the party. Her hair is twisted up into a side bun, little curls already escaping, framing her face. 

Ben's mouth slightly falls open. 

Damn, he thinks. 

"Do you like it? Is it too short? Ben, what are you doing?"

"Going to the damn party" he says, pulling his boots on. He stands and walks to her. 

"I thought you didnt want…." She's interrupted by his sudden kiss.

"I'll go as long as you promise me I get to take this dress off of you later"

"Ben, you better not rip it. Remember the green one? You ruined it."

"I promise I won't rip it" he grins.

"I don't believe you" she grabs his hand and hurries to the door before he kisses her again.

Ben hates social functions.

People talk too much, he thinks. He finds a corner at the makeshift bar and stays there, watching his wife flit about the room. She makes everyone smile. Including me, he thinks. 

He knew those two friends of hers would react to her dress the same way he did. 

Yep, there they are, yep, they see her, he thinks to himself.

Close your mouths, boys.

And of course she hugs both of them, he thinks.

Finn's eyes quickly meet Ben's and he turns his back and walks to the other side of the room to find Jannah. 

Did you forget you have a girlfriend for a second there? Ben thinks to himself. 

He becomes aware that a woman is watching him. Ben has never seen her before. 

As soon as he makes eye contact with her she begins to salter his way. 

Shit, he thinks.

"Hey there sweetie, what's your name?" she purrs

Ben stands there, a bit uncomfortable with this woman's glare. 

Ben never seems to notice other women watching him. He didn't even realize women back home were watching him until Rey told him.

Those women never disrespected Rey by approaching him. They all saw his love for her.

Rey pointed out later those woman did take notice of the slight marks on her neck, the ones that resemble teeth marks. He made sure to leave them high enough that they would see them. He wanted all of to know he only wants one woman. 

And it sure as hell isn't this woman.

This one doesn't know about Rey. Or doesn't care.

Her eyes go up and down his body. She licks her lips as she walks around him, taking time to look at his ass. 

Rey senses her husband's unease and looks towards him. 

That  _ woman _ , Katlit, is talking to him. She is clearly flirting with him. 

Rey is standing no less than 10 paces away, speechless. He's wearing his wedding ring, for fuck's sake. 

She watches Katlit walk around her husband, fetching her drink from behind him. Her eyes go straight to his ass. She looks like a loth cat in heat.

Rey's cheeks turn a deep red.

She is not even hiding it, her wanton lust for him.

Rey is completely aware that women are attracted to Ben. She'd seen the women on Driea gawk at him. Most stopped when they saw his ring. 

Regardless of the fact that Katlit doesn't know whose husband he is, it doesn't matter. He's someone's husband. She can plainly see that. She even looks at his hand and then back up, still smiling.

And then she touches his arm.

Oh  **_hell_ ** no.

She walks towards Ben, intending on claiming her property. She even smoothes her hair back as Katlit sees her so that the woman can see her wedding ring. 

The woman steps between them. 

Rey thinks to herself, what the fuck?

She resists the urge to grab her by the throat.

Ben is slightly enjoying this but he's not so stupid as to show it. 

After all, she does have Force choking on her mind and he's smart enough to be scared of her.

He covers his smirk with his hand. The hand with his wedding band on it. 

"Oh, I see you are married"

"Yes I am" says Ben "And that woman you just stepped in front of, that's my wife." He looks around Katlit at Rey. 

"Hello sweetheart." He says, looking around Katlit. 

She turns and looks Rey square in the eye, not even a bit ashamed. 

"Oh, hello again. Didn't you say your name is Rey?"

"My name is General Solo"

"Oh I thought you told the others to just call you Rey"

"I did tell the others that"

Katlit is still standing between Rey and her husband.

Rey pushes past Katlit and stands next to Ben.

She wraps one arm around her husband's waist and pulls him to her. 

Ben keeps rubbing his mouth with one hand, trying not to smile. 

This is an interesting turn of events, Ben thinks.

Ben grabs his wife and pulls her tight to his side

"Hello Katlit, I'm Ben"

Katlit looks at them with a slight grin, nods and walks out of the hangar.

Ben turns and pulls Rey to him with both arms, looking down at her with the smirk he had hid from the other woman. 

Grinning like an idiot, he leans down to kiss her, she bites his lip and stomps on his foot, trying to pull away from him. 

"Ow! My lip!" 

He leans in again and whispers,

" _ Do it again _ " 

He grins.

"Let me go!" she whispers back, so the people around don't hear her. 

So he does. Rey spins on one foot and stomps out. He chases her. 

"Wait babe! Rey! Stop!"

She walks up to a half wall. There is a beautiful view from here, overlooking the lake.

He comes up behind her and pulls her backwards into his chest with one arm.

He begins to kiss her neck and goes down her bare shoulder, nibbling and sucking her skin. 

"Well I just learned something I didn't know"

"What?" She says forcefully at him.

"That jealousy makes you even sexier"

He drives me nuts, she thinks.

"Well then, Fuck you"

He whispers in her ear "Okay I'll fuck you" and bites down on her shoulder.

Ben spins her around and kisses her hard, sinking his tongue deep into her mouth. He slides his hands down her back and cups her ass with both hands. 

_ Don't be mad at me, I didn't flirt back. You are the only woman in the entire galaxy that I ever even look at. _

She melts into him, succumbing.

_ You think I'm jealous? _

He backs her against the pillar attached to the half wall. He doesn't care who sees them. 

_ Yep. But then, so am I. _

She pulls away from his lips and looks up, whispering.

"I sure as hell am, you are  _ mine _ . Take me to bed."

He doesn't even think twice.


	36. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets drunk and takes advantage of her husband, much to Ben's delight. Ben receives his mother's things.

Rey wasn't sure where Ben was on base.. She felt for his presence, searching. 

_I'm in the training room, my dear._

She followed the corridor around and pressed her palm on the door pad. It slid open. 

What she saw shocked her. 

Ben. Training. With Poe. 

He stood with a practice saber in hand, Poe facing him, holding his own practice saber. 

"What are you two doing?"

"Bonding" Ben says with a smirk. 

"Poe since when are you a Jedi?"

"I'm not! It actually started off with hand to hand combat training."

He points at Ben with the saber. 

"He's a fucking brick wall. I mean, what the fuck?? That only lasted about five seconds."

"Nah, I can kick his ass." Rey says, crinkling her nose with a confident nod. 

"Well, I'd say I want to see that but I don't trust you two. I still can't sleep in my room"

Rey turns beet red and Ben looks too damn proud. 

"Yeah, you do make a good point there Dameron." He looks at Rey and _winks_ at her. 

"I'm done. Too much testosterone in here."

"Ben, you still have the girls?" Rey asks.

"Yes, dear" he says, swinging towards Poe. Poe meets him and holds him back. 

"Ugh, stop with the 'dear', it makes us sound like an old married couple"

Ben shoves hard and Poe falls back, cursing the whole way. 

"I told you, don't lock your knees, Dameron"

Ben walks over and kisses her. "Sorry. Yes, my gorgeous piece of ass. Is that better?" He reaches around and grabs her rear. She giggles and kisses his neck quickly. 

"Hey!! I'm still in the room folks!"

"Shut up, Dameron. You can make out with Zorii next time I'm in the room. I'll even bring the nachos. Make it a show."

Ben bends over and bites Rey's neck lightly. "You ladies behave tonight"

Rey hits the door panel, causing it to slide open. She wiggles her finger at both men. 

"Nobody gets injured, ya hear?" 

"Was that for me?" Poe asks, "Cause I feel like that was for me. Hey! Don't worry about me! I got this covered!"

She just throws her hands in the air and backs out slowly.

Rey leaves with a joy and happiness that exceeded anything she'd felt in a long time. Not like what Ben brought her, no, there was no comparison to the happiness he brought her. But this was different. To see Ben and Poe maybe, possibly, becoming actual _friends_. She never anticipated this. It would be amazing if her adopted family accepted and cared about Ben. It was something she'd never dared wish for. 

~*~

Rey came in late. Her and the other ladies had started talking after her and Zorii trained. She had been enjoying herself so much. She slipped away to see the girls, bathe them and kiss them good night. Ben had reached out, through their bond. 

_Go, have fun. You need it. I'm talking with Poe then I'm going to bed._

Afterwards when she was a little tipsy from some wine Rose had found, she went to her room and found Ben trying to sleep. 

She went to him, whispering in his ear.

"I should've not stayed out. I was afraid you wouldn't sleep"

He rolled over to his back, looking up at her. She kisses him slowly.

"I'm fine. I taste wine?"

"Yup" she giggles.

"Rey Solo are you drunk?"

"Yup. Come shower with me. Then fuck me."

"Well damn baby..."

She pulls him up. Well actually, he stands up but she's pulling on him. She's not exactly able to pull him up, even if she was sober. Which she's not. She lures him to the shower and while he uses the excuse that he has to make sure she doesn't fall, he certainly enjoys what occurs _in_ the shower. It seems that his wife is drunk _and_ horny. Her loose tongue admitting that most of the night was spent talking about sex. It's a good thing she was drunk so maybe she won't remember the lurid details of her friend's sex lives. And tell him about it. 

Ben wonders what exactly she might've told _them_ about her own sex life. He hopes none of her girlfriends, "squad" as she drunkenly refers to them, remember any lurid details about _him._

He'd be upset with her but her hands and mouth and body soon make him forget everything else. Drunk Rey was _quite_ open minded, even more than usual. It seems that she'd learned a few new _tricks_ and wanted to show him. It was a good thing the base had a large hot water tank because that was probably the longest shower he'd ever taken. And he'd enjoyed every second of it. 

He'd have to get his wife drunk more often, he thought wickedly. 

He pretty much carried her to bed. She was asleep by the time he pulled his black sweater over her head and covered her. 

He wondered if hungover Rey might be hell on wheels. That should be interesting. 

~*~

"Whoa…….."

Ben turns in the chair, looking at her. 

"You alright?"

"Shhhh…..and quit smiling."

"Here," he rises, bringing her caf, "drink this."

She puts it to her mouth and pulls it away, her nose crinkling. 

"The fuck? What did you do to it?"

"My mom's concoction. It's a mixture of herbs. It'll help. I'm sure you saw her drink."

"Drink all of us under the table."

He laughs then she hushes him.

"Yep, the only one in the galaxy who could outdrink Han Solo. And still walk away sober. She created this for him, after their drinking contests."

"I would've loved to have seen that. Can I die now?"

"No, you have duties today."

She groans and slides under the covers.

"Tell Poe I died. That's my plan, anyways."

"How many glasses did you have?"

"I dunno, three? Four?"

Ben covers his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud. 

"My sweet little lightweight. Oh babe, you and I must never drink together. I am Leia all over again."

"I vaguely remember being very pleased when I came in. You took very good care of me. I hope that was you, anyways."

He feigns shock. 

"It sure as fuck better had been me, you minx."

"Oh Ben, I'd know your naked body anywhere. No other man could handle me."

"Shhhh….before you find yourself naked again."

"You wicked man. Don't take advantage of me. I'm sick."

"No, you are hungover."

She takes a gulp of the monotrosity that he'd created, realizing that it was indeed helping. She looks up and spots a large chest sitting on the table.

"What's that?"

He goes to fetch it, sitting it at her feet. 

"This...is my mom's….things"

She sits all the way up, sitting her mug on the nightstand. 

"What?? From where??"

"Poe's had it this whole time. He packed away mom's things. Him and Zorii and Finn. He gave it to me last night when we met."

She grabs his hand, worried now. 

"Ben, are you okay? I...I didn't know. He never told me. I can't believe he didn't tell me."

"He said he actually forgot. It's been so long ago now. He remembered yesterday and pulled it out of his office."

"Did you look at it?"

"No, I was waiting for you."

"You didn't have to."

"I need you here."

She stands and he grips her waist, steadying her. She's still a bit wobbly. He opens it. 

Inside are her journals and some holovids. Blankets and books. Beautiful hairpieces. And a smaller box. 

Ben is shaking. Rey slips both arms around him, pulling him closer.

"It's okay," whispers Rey, "I'm here."

"Thank you" he says, kissing her head.

He opens the smaller box. It's her jewelry. 

"I wonder if…."

He digs around and finds it. 

Her ring. Her Alderaanian ring.

"That's it. That's the one…" Ben is whispering.

"The one what, Ben? Babe are you okay?"

Ben smiles at the ring.

"Yeah," he whispers. "This is yours now."

"What? No. What? Ben?"

"I was supposed to propose with this. It was supposed to be passed to my wife. It's traditional on Alderaan, the royal wedding ring. It was Padme's. Then mom's, because Luke never married. Dad proposed with a different ring, he didn't know. But mom loved his ring so much, she put this up for her son to propose with. Me. But it was here and I couldn't come get it."

Rey looks down at the ring. It is a rose gold filgree band with diamonds scattered about within. Right in the center is the most beautiful stone Rey had ever imagined. She'd never seen a real jemstone. Jakuu didn't hold such treasures. As he turned it in his fingers, it changed colors. First blue then green then dark purple. It was quite fitting, given the family's history. Dark yet light. 

Rey gasps. 

"No, no Ben. Let's give it to the girls."

"Rey, it's yours. I need you to wear it. Do you know how badly it hurt that I couldn't put this on you back then? Wear it. For me."

She looks at her own ring. It's a twist of gold with tiny diamonds placed around the band. 

"But Ben, I love my ring. Don't make me take it off. I love it because _you_ picked it out for me. _You_ put it on me. This is….this is my _us_ ring. It represents us."

"But it's so small and my family was so rich. Royalty. My mother and both grandmother's, they had jewels."

He reaches into the box, holding up a handful of jewelry. Necklaces, bracelets. There are more rings.

"These can be for you and the girls...my wife and daughter's. You are my Queen and they are my princesses. You deserve it."

She wraps her arms around him, kissing him soundly and deeply, standing on her tiptoes.

"I deserved you. And whatever you gave me. And you gave me this." 

She holds her hand up higher, admiring her ring more. 

"Oh….okay…."

Rey is surprised to see her husband look, well, sad. 

"But you know what? I have nine other fingers. How about," she holds her hands out, "you pick a different finger? Any finger."

He smiles and slips it on the ring finger of her right hand. It fits perfect. 

"Padme' was a small lady. Petite. Like you. Beautiful like you too." says Ben. 

"I love it, Ben. I do."

She touches the contents of the chest lightly, lifting a light blue blanket with 'Ben' embroidered on it.

"Your baby blanket"

"Yes. And the white one was Mom and Dad's blanket. Someone gave it to them at their wedding. It stayed on their bed. And this," he holds up a red ribbon, "was their joining ribbon."

Rey lets it flow through her fingers. "One for each of our girls…" she whispers.

Ben smiles, tears in his eyes. 

Rey runs her fingers through his hair, cupping his face. 

"You okay?"

"Yes, I'm just glad to have everything. I never thought I'd see it again."

"You deserve it Ben."

"No. No I don't…." his eyes are looking down. 

"Hey," she cups both hands on his cheeks. "let the past die, remember? Leia came to you, remember?"

"Dad…" Ben lets his tears fall, a small sob escaping. 

She wipes them away with her thumbs. 

"He came to you too. Don't forget. He brought you back. He brought you to me. He's here. He's in Driea's eyes and Leiliana's smile and he'll always be there, in them."

"I'd give anything to see him with them, Rey. He'd be amazing" Ben whispers.

"He would. He'd be exhausted but he would. You'll see him again, one day. Talk to him. He's listening. He's so damn proud of you. You look like him more now, the older you get. I see him in your eyes, your laugh. Maker knows that's his cockiness in your sense of humor. Chewie sees it too."

"He told you that?"

"Yes, he said you love me like he loved her."

"More, Rey. More."

He sits on the edge of the bed, laying his ear to her chest as she holds him and he cries. It's not long, it never is. But it's enough. Just a bit more healing, Rey thinks. After she feels him more at peace, she reaches her hand around and picks up several flat items. 

"What are the holovids?" She asks him. 

"Oh I imagine my baby holovids. Maybe their wedding. Seems like I saw a holovid of their wedding."

"Wait. Baby holovids??? Are you like, naked in the tub? Oh oh let's watch."

"I think I'm late for my duties."

He's out the door without even saying goodbye as she tries to grab him. 

"Nooo!!! Liar!! You don't have duties till later!"

She sits on the bed, laughing. She turns on the holovid. 

Up pops an image on a black headed naked baby boy. Oh, he's a boy for sure. 

"Yep, he's naked all right. Ohhhh look at my baby Ben!"

Padme', Leia and now Rey's Ring:

  
  
  



	37. Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey have an unexpected worry....

Ben came into their quarters, tried to sneak up, intending on grabbing her ass. 

She spoke without turning around. 

"Ben, you're my Dyad. You can't sneak up on me"

"Dammit" he grabs her anyways, nuzzling his face into her neck. Her hair is freshly washed and dried. It smells like fruit. 

She doesn't immediately relax like she usually does. Something is up.

"What is it? No sense in hiding it, sweet Dyad"

"Ben, I think I'm pregnant"

He tightens his hold on her.

"Really?"

"I don't know yet, I'm afraid to go find out"

His hand slides to her belly. He doesn't sense life like he had before. 

"It's probably too early, Ben. I don't sense anything either but I'm three weeks late"

He turns her, looking down at her face. She is looking down. He lays his forehead on top of her head, reaching up to stroke her cheeks with his thumbs.

"You are upset?" 

"You aren't?" 

"Rey, I know we agreed not to have anymore but I wouldn't be upset. I love my girls. I love you. I loved when you were pregnant, waddling around in my shirts because yours were too small."

The memory brings a huge grin to his face. 

"I did not waddle!" She tries to pull her arms out to hit him but he holds her tight.

"You were my little pregnant duck" 

"I was not!" 

He kisses her to stop her protests.

He pulls away and she lays her cheek on his broad chest.

"I thought I couldn't get pregnant but I guess nothing is 100 percent. Ben this is not a good idea. I can't help the Resistance if I'm pregnant. I can't fight or pilot...I guess...."

"Ummm.....no. Hell no"

"I just can't be happy about this right now. I mean, what if I lose it, like before?"

Ben had been through horrible things but the loss of his child was the worst. Not only losing the baby but watching his wife deliver knowing there was not a baby to hold. Only holding Rey's lifeless body was as bad as that day. 

"I know Rey but if you are, you are. And I'll be very happy. If you aren't, then it is what it is. I love you and looking at those girls makes me love you even more. Another little girl running around would be great"

"You are so sure? What if it is a boy?"

Ben had not allowed his mind to go there. He's already had a son and had to say goodbye to him. 

She read his thoughts and reached up to push his hair out of his face. 

"I'm sorry Ben, I shouldn't have said that"

"He'd be five now...." he whispers.

"Yeah"

It was something she tried not to think about. 

She pulls his face down to hers. "I love you" she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his lips. He kissed her back, holding her to him.

"We will just wait and see. But I don't want you doing saber combat training, okay?"

"But..." 

He places one finger on her lips, quieting her. She kisses it like she always does.

"For me? Please? You can still fly"

Rey knows there will be stipulations to that. 

"And? You know there's more"

"They have to be more careful around you, I see what they do"

"We have to train aggressively Ben. You aren't up there. You don't understand"

"Ummm, you act like I've never been in space warfare. I've flown in combat"

"I know and you were the best in the First Order"

He grins at her compliment and pulls her close, placing his face to hers.

"And how would you know? You weren't ever in combat with me"

"I heard you were the best and I believed it" she unbuttons the top button of his shirt. She doesn't like it when he buttons it all the way up. She likes seeing a bit of his chest. 

"You got a plan there, woman?" He looks down at her hands, raising one eyebrow mischievously.

"A plan to get you to fly with me" she leans up and kisses the hollow of his neck

"Let's just say I did...." this causes her to let out a little squeal of excitement. "No, hold on, calm down, let's just say if I did, I'm not your co pilot. I get my own ship"

"I don't want you on my ship either" she says smartly. "But seriously Ben, we need you. You are the best. Don't tell Poe I said that"

"I already told him you said that"

She laughs. "You need to quit teasing him"

"He started it"

"You two drive me crazy"

Rey has watched Poe and Ben in this weird awkward thing they do. It's like a love/hate relationship. They egg each other on. 

She'd also overheard Ben lecture a pilot for not taking Poe's advice on flying. She had walked up on it and when she heard Ben say it, she eavesdropped.

The new pilot was talented but very stubborn. Ben pulled him to the side.

"Listen buddy, I see how you disrespect his advice. General Dameron is good. He's one of the best. You need to listen to him. Also, he's your general. I'd hate to see us lose a good pilot because of pride. He's about to ship you out of here. Straighten your ass out, you hear me?"

"Y-yes sir, Mr Solo" the pilot had stammered out

Ben isn't in the air with them but they know he is the son of the legendary pilot Han Solo. Ben was gaining respect on that alone.

Rey had nearly cried hearing Ben say "us" about the Resistance. He is coming around. She feels it. 

Now to get him up there with them. 

"Ben, will you think about it? Please?"

"I've already been thinking about it"

Her eyes grew wide with excitement.

"And??????" 

"I'll keep thinking about it"

She kisses him again. He slides his hands down and grips her rear end. It has been a few days. 

"Ben, the girls are waiting......" she reminds him as he moves his kisses to her neck. 

He stops and releases a sigh. Parenting is hard.

He lets go of her ass, dropping his forehead to her shoulder.

"Dammittttttt......"

She laughs and pulls him out the door by one hand, him sulking behind her. 

She deliberately waits until they are in the corridor and people are around. 

_ A shower later sounds amazing, don't you think? _

_ Tease…. _

_ The walls are thicker, I can scream all I want.... _

He gives her a look, scrowling, because he can't do anything out here. 

The people walk on. She purrs at him, winks and takes off running, knowing he would grab her if she didn't. 

He still manages to slap her ass. She lets out a squeal and keeps running.


	38. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben encounters the Dark Side

It has been far too long, he thinks as he spins, looping the X wing upside down, grinning.

Too long.

"Hey! Black Three! Back in formation!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give a guy a break, Dameron. It's been awhile."

"Alright, I'll give you a moment. But hurry."

The days went by and Ben went stir crazy with nothing to do. He didn't even get much time with the girls. Everyone wants to see them. He's trying to deal with it. He doesn't deal well with people around his girls. All three of them. And they are quite popular. 

Poe asked him for the 47th time to join his squadron of pilots. He finally had to admit, he missed flying. He missed the adrenaline rush. The sight of the stars shooting by. The thrill of hyperjump. It was exhilarating. Almost as good as sex. Almost. 

Well, not really, as his wife zipped by him in her own X Wing. He grins. 

"Come in Black Two...I was just wondering...what are you wearing?"

"Hey!! Quit coming on to my pilot!" yells Poe. 

"Well, Black Three, why don't you meet me in my quarters later and find out?"

"I give up. I'm muting you two."

Rey laughs just as Poe mutters, "Every damn time…."

"I love torturing him." Ben says with a grin.

"You two have like a bro love thing happening and it's so cute."

"I'll show you cute."

He spins over the top of her and she whips right. He's fast on her tail. 

"Almost as good as sex, huh? That's not what you said last night" She teases. 

"I gotta stop projecting so much"

They whip and loop around each other. Neither one gets nervous because they anticipate each other's moves. 

"You know, you aren't too bad Black Two. Your husband should be impressed."

"You'd think….he barely pays me any mind"

"Well, I may just have to snatch you away from him…."

Suddenly a strong surge of the Force overwhelms him. He looks left then right. Far off in the distance, something. It's a strong pull. 

_ What is that? Ben? _

_ Go back Rey. Now.  _

_ No, I'm not leaving you.  _

_ Rey….go….now….please.  _

She takes a wide loop and is gone. Their bond is still connected but there's a presence. Something…..

_ Dark. It's dark Ben. Please. Don't stay. _

_ Just….hold on.  _

He feels for it, reaching out. It's... familiar. 

He sees it. A ship. It's small. Possibly a tie fighter. 

He isn't afraid or worried. Now that Rey isn't nearby. No one else from the squadron is approaching. Poe must be actually listening for once. 

He reaches out again, using every bit of power that he has to create a wall with the force. He builds it higher and wider than any wall he's ever built. He's blocking it from reading not only him but all of them. Sort of like a cloak, is how he sees it in his mind. He must keep it from finding the base and his family. It's exhausting. He reserves just a bit of strength so he can stay conscious.

_ Keep them back Rey.  _

_ Please come back Ben. You're scaring me. I feel the darkness.  _

He knew any minute Dameron would bust over the comm. He didn't know if the incription would be enough. He couldn't chance it. He was very aware that whatever it was, it was dark. Dangerous. Not to him but to others he'd grown to care for. 

He searched a second longer then looped around, zig zagging up and back. He'd take the long route back, hoping that it, he, she, whatever, wouldn't be able to track him. He couldn't let his family, his friends be compromised. 

Shit, he just realized. He'd called them friends. 

Thankfully the bond stayed quiet but he knew she'd heard his thoughts. She was latched onto him like a magnet.

Rey is not one easily afraid. She never had been. She'd grown up on one of the roughest planets in the galaxy, all alone until the age of 19. Nothing shook her. Until Kylo Ren literally charged into her life. And even then, she'd charged right back. Now she was his and he was hers. 

And what was hers was a little too close to danger right now. Her heart hammered. She felt for him through the Force driven bond that connected her lover to her. 

_ Ben….. _

_ Rey…..It's okay…..Everything is going to be okay…. _

~*~

"What was it?" Rey asked him as he climbed out of the ship. He is stone silent. He charges past her. She follows, reaching for him. He pulls away from her. 

"Ben….stop"

"Just…..don't follow me Rey…."

"What? Why?"

"Rey! Just listen. Listen to me for fucking once!"

She stops, confused. She gives him space, sensing alarm. Sensing…. something.

_ I'm not mad, Rey. Just let me think…. _

He marches on. And on. He walks until he's deep into the forest surrounding the base. 

He paces. It was familiar. It was force sensitive. He knew that immediately. It knew him. He'd felt that too. He'd felt that force signature before. Now that he was home, no not home. Back. Now that he was back, he could focus. His energy is drained from cloaking the squadron.

He feels for it, the lingering dark signature. 

It was a woman. But who? Who did he know that was a force sensitive female? A dark force sensitive female?

He stops. 

No……

It couldn't be….

His mind goes back….years ago….

He was running, falling, desperate. Rey needed him. She was in danger. Even more so than before. She's not strong enough to do this alone. Neither is he. But together….

The Knights. They had turned on him. He only had a blaster. But still he ran. The Force was swelling up in him as he reached for it, chasing his dark side away. The more he ran towards her, towards the light, the further he ran from the dark. He felt like a new person. He'd examine that later, after she was safe. 

One is behind him. He shoots without looking. Then he's surrounded. 

He never counted. Hell, how could he? It was all so fast. His mind was focused on her. Rey. That's all that mattered was Rey. She was in the fight of her life. He knew she'd decided to succumb. To give herself to the dark side. But he knew she didn't want that. And suddenly, he didn't either. He wanted, no _ , needed _ her light. He wanted her for who she was. She was his light and he would be damned if she was going to give herself to something she didn't want. Something that would change the essence of who she is. Because her essence, that's who he'd fallen in love with. He needed her to stay his Rey. 

So, no, he didn't count. He assumed they were all there. But he was wrong. 

He explodes. There was no saber on his hip to use to destroy. That would change. 

He rips the trees from the ground by use of his force energy. They go flying. He can't think. Just react. Boulders rise off the ground, tossed by his anger. 

Is anger good? According to Luke, no. But in this moment, Ben is not a Jedi. He is something else, something in between the dark and the light. He is angry. He finally has something worth protecting and a threat has risen against it. 

She wants revenge. She wants him. She wants what's his. Everything that is his. 

Gensha Ren is alive. 

~*~

"Are you sure?" asks Poe. 

"Yeah, I'd sure as hell tell you if we needed to evacuate, Dameron."

"I'm just not always sure of this force magic stuff"

"She couldn't get through it, I'm telling you."

"Well I sure as fuck don't want to run if we don't have to."

Rey sits in silence, in shock. 

"Ben," she asks quietly, "what does she want?"

"Me….dead. Or Kylo….next to her. She always had a thing for me."

Well that certainly got Rey's attention. 

Her eyebrows raise. "Um, well okay then. Just go straight to it Ben. She wants to either fuck you or kill you?"

She grins. She loves this wicked sense of humor he now possesses.

"Yeah that's about the gist of it."

Poe cocks his brow. "Well, we can just serve you up on a silver platter. Save me a lot of trouble."

"Sounds good to me." Rey adds with a wink at Poe. 

"Hey! Wait a minute here!" Ben jokingly protests. 

"You all are crazy" whispers Finn, shaking his head. 

Ben gets serious. 

"She has always been unstable. And that's saying a lot, coming from me."

The guys nod their heads in agreement with Ben's assessment of his former personality while Rey reaches for his hand to assure him that he's no longer that man. 

"She was always ruthlessly violent, gaining too much pleasure from it all. She always went a step further. I'm sure she's pissed about me defecting. Jealous that I didn't want her. Wants my power to accomplish whatever it is she's up to. It's simple, she wants to establish herself as Supreme Leader and now that she's realized I'm alive, I'm a threat. Plus you all took her future army. So yeah, it's complicated."

"What should we do?" Finn asks, looking around the room. 

Everyone is silent, contemplating. Ben speaks again.

"Keep our guard up, be aware. She hasn't provoked us. She's just feeling around. Until she does something, that's all we can do. Train. Get ready." 

Poe nods, agreeing. "Ben's right. That's all we can do. Rey, you'll help me with the pilots. We will do three training drills a day. Finn, you prepare the rest of our people, make sure they understand their jobs, get them lined up to be ready to go at a moment's notice. Rose will make sure the computer systems are in order. I'll get Jannah on supplies."

He leans forward, stronger as their leader. 

"Ben, can you help me with checking the ships? Making sure each one is running smoothly and ready to go? I'd usually get our other Solo on that but I don't want to overload either one of you. Our first priority is the girls. Keeping them taken care of. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it."

Ben nods. As a father, he respects Poe for watching out for his family. 

_ Dammit, the guy's growing on me _ .

Rey smiles. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	39. X Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey spend some time alone working on an X Wing 🔥🔥🔥

He found her in the second hangar. Her grease smeared rear end was sticking out from under an older model X wing. She was muttering a long string of rather impressive curse words.

He thought to himself that perhaps it was the cutest he'd ever seen her delicious ass.

"The girls should be here. Then they could tattle on  _ you _ for once"

The low booming of his voice echoing in the almost empty hangar startled her. She sat up, hitting her head. Another long string of curses fell from her mouth. 

"What the kriffing hell? Ben Solo don't sneak up!"

He is looking down at the most adorable grease smeared face, her hair halfway out of her bun, strands sticking out wildly. Maker, he loves this woman. 

"I'm your Dyad. I can't sneak up on you"

"Yeah, yeah. Get down here. I can't reach the stupid wrench. It slid all the way over  _ there _ and my arms wouldn't reach. Then I tried using the force and it got stuck."

"You just use me for my height. All the time" he jokes, laying on his front, reaching the wrench easily. He rolls over, now looking up at her face. She wipes sweat away, leaving even more streaks of grease. 

"Well, you are a  _ tree,  _ from what I've been told over and over"

"One you climb 're.peat.ed.ly' from what I recall you telling Zorii"

"You need to quit eavesdropping" she remarks with a smile. 

"Whenever you start bragging on your amazing sex life, I'm  _ always _ going to be right there, grinning like a madman. Like,  _ how are you even vertical _ ?"

She punches his arm and he pulls her down to him, kissing her quiet. 

She squirms, shimming away. "Are you going to help me or not? You take up all the room under here"

He gets serious, looking around. "What are you working on?"

"There's a damaged valve in the cooling module. I can't quite get to it. My arms are too short and I can't see it to use the force."

Ben tries to reach inside to feel for it. 

"Well here's another problem. My arm is long enough but it's too big to fit in there"

"Are you telling me that because of your muscles, you can't get your arm in there?"

"Yup"

Rey laughs loudly. "I never thought your muscles would  _ ever _ pose any problem for me."

"I thought you'd laugh at that. Okay so I can feel it with my fingertips but I can't get my arm any further. Can you envision it? You know what it looks like?"

"Yes….."

"Use the bond to picture my fingers touching it then use the force to envision it coming loose. Then pass it to my hand."

"Like on Exegol. I couldn't see your hand behind your back but since I had become quite obsessed with your huge hands, I could easily picture your hand wrapping around mine."

Ben just stares at her. 

"How the fuck do you do that?"

"What?"

"How do you make the craziest things so damn sexy? You just turned us trying to survive on Exegol into something hot as fuck."

"Well, it was hot. I just couldn't appreciate it in the moment. I always loved your hands."

She reaches, takes his other hand, lifts it to her cheek and kisses his palm. Then his cheek. 

"Damn, baby."

"Quit flirting. Help me do this." She fusses. 

"Me?? You're the one flirting!"

"Well you started it. Show me how to do this."

Ben's not sure exactly how he started it but he moves on. His hand is up inside the engine and Rey focuses. Ben feels the valve fly into his hand and slowly removes it. She hands him the new one and they reverse the process. 

"Well, that should work. Thank you my lovely assistant." she says, rolling into her side, laying her head on his shoulder.

"So, should we go?" He asks.

"Nah, we got time. Finn has them"

"I'd say I'm worried about his well-being but I'm really not. I hope they kick his ass"

Rey laughs out loud. "No! I need all the babysitters we can find!"

"Well then, since we have time Mrs. Solo, how about you kiss me some more?"

He rolls onto his side, sliding her head back to rest on his bicep, sweeping his other arm to pull her into an embrace. 

"I'm covered in grease and sweat. Let's go to our room and jump in the shower"

"I think you are about the cutest sexiest mechanic I've ever seen. Keep the grease and sweat. It's a huge turn on"

He proceeds to kiss her, sliding his tongue between her lips and teeth, wrapping it around hers. She moans into his mouth. He's instantly aroused, his length pressing into her belly. Her hands slide into the back of his shirt so she can feel the muscles.

His mouth goes down to her neck, finding its way to the hollow at the base of her throat. He sucks there, causing the heat inside of her to build. She feels herself grow instantly wet for him. 

"Mmmm….that was quick" he moans into her skin, his mouth sinking lower, using his chin to force apart the fabric at her chest. His tongue slips into her cleavage. She gasps out loud. 

"Oh I like that. Keep doing that." She groans. 

"What do you want Rey? Tell me" 

"Your fingers…." She moans.

He quickly pulls back the fabric, shoving her breast band down, groaning as her breast pops out, nipple hard. He grabs it with his teeth. She yelps, fisting the hair at the nape of his neck. 

"Shhhhh my wanton girl. You can't be loud here" he whispers, his breath causing her nipple to grow even harder. 

"I'll try. You know I get loud" she gasps as he lavishes her breast with his mouth. 

"I know. And I  _ love _ it" 

He wipes the grease on his fingers off on her pants. He pulls the front waistband open, working his large hand in. He cups her, filling her wetness seep out between his fingers. 

"Damn Rey. Damn baby" he growls. 

"Wet all the damn time for you Ben" she pants as he uses the heel of his hand to grind into her clit. She has to bite her lip to stay quiet. 

He slides two fingers up inside of her, causing her body to clench around him.

"Don't come yet, not yet Rey" he whispers, coming back up to catch her groans with his mouth. He crooks his fingers to find that spot. That amazing trigger inside of her. He doesn't fail in finding it. She emits a low sound into his mouth, thrusting into his hand. 

_ That's it baby, fuck my fingers. I love the way you move against my hand.  _

The thoughts in her head are jumbled. Not even making sense to him. He loves it. 

_ You like this?  _

His mouth cannot leave hers. He muffles her sounds with his lips and tongue. He feels the muscles in her walls begin to spasm, wetness pouring out. His grinds the heel of his hand harder into her clit. 

_ Come for me Rey. Please. I'm addicted to your orgasms. I swear, it's like a drug. Fuck, you are so tight.  _

She pure hollers into his mouth as she comes, shaking and pushing her body into his, like she wants to climb inside of him. 

He pulls his mouth away so he can get just a glimpse of her face as she falls into her climax. Only he does this to her. He's the only one who gets to see her lose herself in her orgasm. 

"Ben! Ben!" She whispers, trying her best to be quiet. Her body quakes all over.

Her little gasps and harsh breathing and panting is almost enough to make him lose control of himself. He doesn't. He has plans for that. 

He slides his hand out of her clothing as she is slowly returning. He kisses her long and soft, sending thoughts into her mind. 

_ You are so damn beautiful Rey. I love you so much.  _

She's trying to talk, her mouth weak and unable to function. 

"That….woah….wow….yeah...that was….woah….but you are….still hard…."

"Of course I am, look at you"

"Let's...go to the….room….you can make love to me" she gasps, her heart still racing. 

"Let's fuck right here" he whispers into her ear.

Her eyes fly open. "There isn't enough room under here"

He lets go, shimmying his way out. He bends down, pulling her out by her hands.

They stand and he looks around. No one is there but them. 

She's still rather drunk from her orgasm. He grabs her waistband, beginning to pull her clothing down. She starts to holler out and he silences her with a kiss.

_ No one is here. Fuck me. Now. Here. Please.  _

She nods her head slightly. He leans down and slips one boot off of her foot. He removes one pants leg, ripping the side seam of her panties. She reaches for his belt, undoing it and unfastening his pants, like a pro. His cock is exposed and she wraps her fist around it, causing him to holler out.

"Shhhh" she whispers.

"Damn Rey" he groans long and low. 

He lifts her and backs her into the side of the X wing. Her hand is released and she wraps her thighs around his waist. He immediately enters her, roughly. No time for slow love making. This is fast, the threat of being caught making them wild for each other. 

~*~ 

Zorii and Poe are walking down the corridor. They walk hand in hand, discussing their day so far. 

"I need to grab a wrench from the hangar" Poe tells her. "There's a plumbing issue in one of the fresher's, I think I need to replace the piping"

As they approach the door, Zorii turns the handle. She catches a slight moan. The voice is familiar. She remembers that Rey had some repairs to work on. 

"Wait" she says to Poe "that can….wait"

He goes to push past her. She immediately grabs him by the collar, pulling him over to the wall, kissing him soundly. She runs her tongue around his lips, the way she knows always gets him going. He moans but then pulls away from her, looking confused. 

"What are you doing?" He asks.

She whispers "Do you realize it's been five days since you made love to me? Five days, Poe Dameron. You promised no more than three" 

"Baby, slow down. I've been so busy, I didn't mean…."

"Do you know how incredibly  _ wet _ I am right now? I swear I'm clenching just thinking about you. I love your cock, Poe"

He groans, forgetting everything. Forgetting the plumbing, the wrench, the corridor, his name. Everything but this sexy woman in his arms. 

"Zorii. Fuck. You are...so damn sexy baby"

For good measure she reaches down and strokes his hardness through his trousers. He kisses down her neck, biting and sucking all the way. He doesn't even care who sees. 

"Go back to my room, Poe.  _ Now _ " she growls. 

"What? Where are you going?" He slightly whimpers as she grips him harder.

"Do what I said.  _ Go _ . Get naked. I'll bend over for you when I get there. I promise. I'll bend over and you can fuck my brains out"

"Going. I'm going" 

He walks quickly away. She sighs and leans against the door, crossing her ankles.

~*~

He's inside of her and thrusting hard, pushing her up the side of the ship. She's biting her lip as hard as she can, trying not to scream. 

The threat of getting caught has unleashed something in him. 

She suddenly thinks of someone walking in on them and uses the force to lock both doors. 

"Ben……...oh.....Ben....harder….deeper…. _please_ ….yes… just like that….just….like…that…."

"Fuck….fuck….Rey...damn baby you are so tight"

"That's it Ben"

They both come together, marvelously. It's a whole different thrill, the threat, the danger of getting caught. It's amazing and made for incredible sex. 

He lowers her down, sliding all the way to the ground. He uses the force to snatch a pile of folded tarps over to them, setting them down behind them just in time to lay Rey back against them.

"Wow, you are...good" she sighs.

"With what? The tarps or your body?" He grins, kissing her sweetly on the lips. 

"Oh both, definitely both"

"That was…. woah" he says, kissing her forehead and then nose. "I didn't think of locking the doors. Good choice"

They hear a slight knock on the door and scramble to get dressed, laughing like two young teenagers, caught by their parents. 

Rey hollers out "Who is it?"

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR REY. I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE TOO BEN!!"

Ben turns positively red as Rey stifles her laughter. 

"Well if we are busted I'd rather it be her" Rey adds. 

"COME OUT ALREADY FORCE HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON???"

"Go shut her up before the whole base hears her!" Ben tells her. 

Rey runs to the door and unlocks it. Before she can open it Zorii charges in. 

"You two!! You have damn quarters are you crazy!?"

Rey looks her dead in the eye and Zorii loses it. They both laugh out loud. 

Ben is still leaned against the tarps, speechless. Zorii spots his awkwardness and hoans in on it. 

"Poe was with me! I had to send him to my room with a raging hard on and promise to be there ASAP! He's naked right now and I'm tired of waiting on you two!"

Rey didn't realize Ben could get even redder. She thinks he's not breathing. 

"That's your payback for hollering out that your wife is coming right through his damn wall!! He  _ still _ can't look you in the eye!"

Ben just leans his face into his hands, shaking his head. 

Rey cannot stop cackling. Now she can't breathe. She's never seen Ben like this and it's the funniest thing she's ever seen. 

Then she accidentally gets a mental image of what Zorii said about Poe. 

"Go!! Oh my Gods Zorii I didn't need to know that!! Get! You are  _ awful _ . He's like my brother!!"

Zorii runs off laughing loudly.

Rey goes to Ben falling on her knees laughing, pulling his still covered face into her shoulder. 

"That's what we get. That's what we get" he keeps saying into his hands. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	40. Branded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Ben rages

Finn and Jannah are babysitting the girls while Ben and Rey complete their duties for the day.

Rey arrives to relieve them after she finishes a motor she's rebuilding with Rose. Jannah has a mission the next morning to return more of the children to their parents. 

"Rey, would you like to go?"

"I would but I have to meet with the new pilots. Maybe next time?"

"I'd love for you to go with me. It's amazing to watch. I love it."

"You are so good at this, Jannah."

"I guess it's my calling. Although I hope not for long. Almost all are home now."

"Are we still hanging out in a few nights? I hope you can join us."

"Yes, I can't wait."

Jannah leaves and Finn looks confused. 

"What's happening in a few nights?" 

"Oh just me, Jannah, Zorri and Rose hanging out. She's so sweet Finn. And  _ so  _ pretty."

He grins, "Yes she is."

Driea runs up to Finn. "Uncle Finn, play with us again?"

He sighs. "Sorry girls, Uncle Finn is worn out"

"Okay", she says, sulking away with a pout.

Rey smiles. "They are wearing you out, huh?"

He grins. "They are something else, Rey. So sweet but woah"

She laughs. "Yes. Woah is the perfect word"

Finn and Rey laugh loudly. She grabs Finn's arm and squeezes, laying her head on his shoulder. She has missed her friend. 

Ben walks in. 

Ben immediately tenses at the sight of his wife with her head on this man's shoulder.

This man who has not hid his feelings for her. 

Rey sits up, feeling Ben become angry. She walks up and hugs him, trying to kill the tension. 

When she leans in, he grabs her tightly, giving her a quick but deep kiss. A little much, is what Rey thinks. He pulls her to his side, not letting go then glares at Finn. 

_ Ow, stop it. You are being silly. _

_ What  _ **_was_ ** _ that Rey? _

She pulls away, trying not to be obvious. She diverts her attention to the girls.

"C'mon girls, who wants a snack?"

"Me!! Me!!" They both holler.

She glances up at Ben.

_ Be nice. Please. _

He ignores her as she leaves.

Finn is looking straight at him. Ben makes eye contact.

"What was that about Finn?"

Finn walks right up to him.

"Ben, shut up already, there's nothing between us"

"Damn fucking straight."

Finn is pissed. This conversation has been long coming. 

"Look asshole, me and Rey were friends way before you came along and took her from us. If she didn't want me in her life, I'd respect that. I respect her. I don't give a fuck how you feel. I actually care about her"

"When you say 'took her from us' you really mean took her from you. And are you saying I don't care about her?" Ben says through clenched teeth

"I'm saying you are lucky as hell that for some damn reason the force chose to bond her to you."

"You don't know shit"

Finn realizes this will upset Rey deeply if it continues. He has to back down. One of them has to care how about Rey feels. He throws his hands up and steps back. 

"Look man, I'm not doing this with you. You got her, okay? You WIN, alright? Just take care of her cause if you don't...."

Ben walks straight up to Finn, looking down at him. Finn doesn't budge.

"Or WHAT? What Finn? You gonna snatch her away? You think she wants you?"

"Rey wants who she wants. And right now that's your emo-looking tree-looking ass. But if you think for one minute I wouldn't be there for her if you broke her heart, you can kiss my ass, motherfucker, get out of my way"

If he didn't think Rey Solo could and would kick his ass he would punch him.

Ben looks down at him, "Be damn glad what she thinks means so much to me. If it didn't, you'd be on that floor"

"Fuck you,  _ Ren _ "

"If you think calling me that is going to piss me off, it won't. I know you see me as Kylo. Good thing I don't give a fuck what you see"

~*~

Ben returns to their quarters. He plans to shower and then go eat with his girls and wife in the girls quarters.

Rey is already there. Ben comes in and removes his shirt, trying to cool off. He sits and removes his boots.

His wife doesn't speak. 

He stands and walks up behind her, slipping his arms around her small waist. He nuzzles her neck, kissing her.

"I heard what you said to him, Ben"

He stands straight, letting go of her. She keeps her back to him. 

"You eavesdropped, huh? You don't trust me?" 

She is steadily folding her clothing so she can put it away. 

"Nope"

"Did you hear everything? Did you hear what he said?"

She turns and puts her hands on her hips. 

"Yes I did and I  _ will  _ deal with it. I also heard the names you called him, asked him if he thought he could take me from you. I can't believe you!"

"Well, I walk in the room and your head is on his shoulder"

"So what Ben?? So fucking what?? Would you do this to a brother, if I had one?? He's like my brother Ben"

"You may think of him as a brother but he sure as hell doesn't see you as a sister, I can promise you that!"

"Then how does he see me Ben?? Since you know so much??"

"You think that man doesn't want you? How can you not see it?"

"He's got a girlfriend Ben!!"

"That doesn't mean shit, Rey!"

"Ben, he knows I'm married!"

"Yeah, that's another thing. It's bad enough that he can't hide his feelings for my woman but you aren't just my woman, you are my wife! He can't respect our marriage. Even though he hates me, he should at LEAST respect that I'm your HUSBAND! I'm the father of your children!"

"How do you know that he wants me?" she walks straight up to him, looking up into his face. "Why are you so hell-bent that he still has feelings for me? Did he tell you that?"

"He doesn't have to Rey! I see how he looks at you! I can see what he wants from you!"

"See what? What do you see? What do you think he wants from me, Ben??"

Ben grabs her by the waist, hauling her into his chest.

"This"

He pulls her to him. He puts his lips to hers, parts them and buries his tongue deep inside her mouth. Her arms hang at her sides but she doesn't push him away. He kisses her deeply and fully until she is lightheaded. 

He pulls away, his lips so close it tickles her lips when he whispers to her. "He wants you, Rey. He wants your body. He wants your lips. He wants your legs wrapped around his waist. He wants you to touch him like you touch me. He thinks about what I get to do to your body. It kills him. I don't blame him. It would kill me if another man was making love to you. I feel bad for the guy to be honest. But you are  **MINE** " 

With that last word he possessively yanks her to him.

He uses his tongue to trace around her parted lips, causing her to moan. She is limp in his arms. 

"Put your arms around me Rey"

She is angry but she can't push him away. He feels so good. He always does. 

"No! I'm mad at you!" She looks down at his bare chest but pushes away the temptation. 

"I'm mad at you too. Let's make love anyways, I love touching you when we are angry. It's like fire"

"Why? So you can take possession of me? Cause I'm your possession?" 

He kisses her again. His hands go from her waist to her ass. 

"No, because I am  **_yours_ ** "

He lifts her straight up, sliding her up his body, pulling her legs apart, forcing her to wrap them around his waist. He puts his mouth up to her ear, whispering his intentions. 

"And you  _ are  _ mine. I'm going to make you scream my name. I'm going to mark you so everyone knows, you belong to  _ me. _ "

She doesn't know what he intends to do but she doesn't care. He makes her so angry being so possessive and jealous but his hands and his arms and his lips soon wash her anger away. Soon she can't remember why she is mad. She loves this crazy jealous man. He's the only one she wants in the whole galaxy. She knows he will make her scream his name and she knows she will love it.

He carries her into the shower and turns the water on with the force. Hot water cascades down on them, soaking their clothing. He sets her down and looks down at her chest as the water wets her white clothing. He can see her dark nipples through her top. He immediately pulls it straight up and over her head, dropping to his knees and takes one nipple into his mouth. She runs her fingers into his wet black hair. 

He yanks her leggings off violently, along with her panties, grabbing her breast with one hand and her crotch with the other, possessing what is his. His long fingers quickly find their way into her, thrusting roughly. 

Her hips grind into his hand. She moans his name over and over. 

His fingers work inside of her until he feels the heat build and the muscles inside her begin to throb, traveling his mouth from one breast to the other. 

He pulls his fingers out quickly and stands. She is lightheaded from it all so he wraps one arm around her and yanks his pants down, kicking them off. He sucks and bites at her shoulders and collarbone, across the front of her neck. 

She wonders why he's being so rough on her skin with his mouth but soons drowns again into his body.

He spins her around, her back to his chest. One arm around her waist and the other hand between her legs, stroking her clit. 

"I belong to you Rey. You own me. You own my heart and my mind. You own my body. Do you belong to me? I want to own you like you own me."

She is gasping for air as he continues to stroke her heat. She feels the throbbing began inside of her. She wants him to feel it too. She needs him to be inside of her. Only he can make her feel this way.

_ I've always belonged to you Ben Solo. Always. And it will always be you. _

He leans her forward, slides his body down her back and then thrusts up inside of her roughly, his arm wrapped around her waist. She screams his name out as he pushes her into the wall, steam enveloping them from the hot water. She knows he won't let her fall so she just enjoys it fully while he pounds into her, still rubbing her clit with his gloriously callused fingers.

He feels her clench him tightly as he gasps her name. He kisses and sucks her neck, not too hard but hard enough to leave marks.

His possessive thoughts overwhelm him.

_ They will know she is mine. They will see that I've branded her body as mine. There will be no doubt she belongs to me. _

He also ensures that she will walk unsteadily for several days.

She comes on him violently, screaming out. He continues to pound into her until he senses her exhaustion then he climaxes into her, his entire body shaking. Both gasping under the hot water, too overwhelmed to even talk through their bond. He slides her back down the wall, holding her carefully. She rolls her head back on to his chest, collapsing into him. He just holds her, lightly kissing the brands he just left on her. She will not be happy about this later and will have to wear her hair down for a week. 

"Do you need me to bathe you?" He whispers into her neck. 

"Mmm-hmm" she mumbles, weak in his arms. 

Ben grabs the soap bar and rubs it all over her body, using just his rough hands to scrub her, whispering "I love you. I love you so much. You are my everything, I'm so damn lucky to be with you" into her ear. 

She sighs, thinking of how tender he is.

"I love you too Ben. You are the only man for me, you big jealous oaf. I'm going to kill you later...."

He rubs the soap over both breasts, teasing her nipples with his fingers. She stops talking and sighs. 

He turns her around and takes time to wash her hair, his forehead pressed against hers as he kisses every freckle on her face.

He scoops her up and carries her to bed, drying her off and rolling her over to brush the tangles from her hair. He massages her back and legs, placing kisses all over her nude body as she moans her gratitude. He covers her and returns to the shower.

He comes out to find her asleep in their bed, still completely nude, lying on her side. 

He worries about her being hungry later but he will bring something back for her. 

He dresses and goes to see his girls. 

They see him and scream "Papa!!!!" running to him. He just kneels to the floor rather than be pushed down, again. How two little girls can knock down a 6'3 man is beyond him. 

He scoops both of them up as they say, "Where's Mama???"

"Mama fell asleep, let's eat and then you can go see her"


	41. Hysteria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey dance at a party to their song.
> 
> The song is Def Leppard's Hysteria, one of my favorite songs. 
> 
> This is one of my favorite chapters!

  
  


Another damn party. Well at least this one is for Jannah, his newfound friend. She had confronted him about his past. After a very long conversation and tears from them both, they have actually become friends. Jannah has actually become quite the advocate for Ben, her empathic personality understanding how Ben was used and manipulated by his former master.

That's one of the only reasons he is here. The other is his Dyad. She is beautiful tonight in a short white dress with black boots. Her new sassy short haircut swinging as she walks.

He sits alone in the corner, dressed completely in black, watching her talk and laugh with one of her many friends. He hates these social gatherings but she likes having him there. He loves watching her have fun. 

Her eyes glance to the dance floor. Her other friends are dancing, in a big group, like women do. They are laughing, giggling, having fun. She clearly wants to dance. 

He wants her to enjoy herself and quit being so self conscious. He decides to tempt her with a song she loves, their song. 

He goes over and enters the song into the music system. 

She looks up at him from across the room.

_ What are you doing? _

_ Playing our song _

_ Ben....here? _

_ Dance with them _

He nods to her girlfriends dancing in the middle of the room.

_ Ben....not here _

_ I see you watching them. You know you want to. Do it. For me _

_ I thought you were jealous. People will see me. _

_ You mean men will see you? That's fine with me. They know you're mine _ .

_ Ben! _

He sees her face turn red.

_ Do it _ , He nods to the women _ , I dare you _

She grins at him mischievously.

She never could say no to a dare and he knows it. 

_ Okay, but I'm turning my back to you _

_ In that dress? All the better _

Rey shoots him a look that makes his pulse race. 

_ You know what that look does to me, Rey _

She walks out to her friends and starts moving along with them.

He leans back in his chair, sipping his drink, tuning everyone out but her. It was like he had tunnel vision. 

She's being shy, as usual. Only Ben gets to see her wild and free spirit.

Her friends encourage her, moving with her, teasing her to move more freely. 

"C'mon Rey! Girl, move them hips!" 

He feels her blush all over as she closes her eyes, raising her hands above her head, moving, swaying.

He blocks his thoughts so she might forget that he's staring at her.

She is now lost in the music, laughing with her friends, moving with more confidence.

There are at least ten beautiful women around her. 

He only sees Rey.

He takes a moment to glance around. The men have definitely noticed. 

_ Look all you want but she'll be in my bed tonight _

She is intoxicating all of them.

He watches her ass. Along with the other men. 

He watches their mouths drop. 

_ Yeah, she does that to me too,  _ he thinks to himself.

He sees Katlit notice him alone. She starts in his direction, blocking his view of his wife. He is fed up with this and with her for ruining the moment. 

So he decides to make himself a new moment.

It was time to send her a notice. Rey is the only woman for him. 

He stands, unfolding himself from the chair.

He walks right past Katlit, ignoring her.

He walks up behind Rey, slowly grabbing her from behind, his fingers spreading over her hips. She gasps. She doesn't have to open her eyes. She'd know his touch from across the galaxy.

Her friends are immediately quiet.

_ Don't speak, just move baby. _

She smiles, her eyes still closed.

He moves with her. She didn't know he knew how to. He's never danced with her before. He's always just watched, usually from their bed as she entertained him with his own personal show, which usually lead to a lap dance. He leans over her and very lightly grazes his lips down her neck, whispering her name where only she can hear. 

Her heart rate leaps and she gasps again. This man always takes her breath away.

_ Damn. This is my man,  _ she thinks, grinding her ass into him, because she can. 

She opens her eyes to peek around her. The women are still moving but their mouths are slightly ajar. 

She knows they all think he's hot.

_ Look all you want, ladies but he'll be in my bed tonight. _

The whole room watches them. The men jealous of Ben and the women jealous of Rey. 

She reaches up behind her with one hand and slides her fingers around his neck up into his black hair. She leans back into him, moving with him to the music. His face is buried in her neck.

The women instantly wish they could play with his gorgeous hair too.

He slides one hand to her stomach and the other to her bare thigh. He pulls her ass back up to him possessively, delivering the message. She belongs to him and he belongs to her. 

Rey glances up and Katlit makes eye contact with her. The woman gives her a smirk and leaves the party. Rey smiles, knowing she understands who Ben belongs to.

_ Forget about her,  _ Ben whispers through their dyad

He turns her roughly and pulls her to his body. She wraps her arms around his neck, both hands disappearing into his hair. She pulls him down aggressively, placing his forehead against hers, looking him eye to eye. 

The song was approaching its end and he whispers in her ear.

"You are mine", Ben declares.

"I am. And you are mine" 

"I sure as hell am." He agrees.

"I think they are all envious of us" 

"They should be"

"You ready to go?"

"Yes, Ben, take me to bed" 

She leads him by the hand out of the room.

He follows her like she is his Queen. 

Because she is.

After they are out of the room she turns to him laughing.

"What was that?" She asks, kissing him.

"Just showing them we belong only to each other" 

Ben pulls her closer, still swaying with her. He kisses her deeply, lifting her up off the floor. 

He dared not tell her about Katlit approaching him. He didn't want to distract her.

Then he takes her hand and they start back to their quarters.

"It didn't make you jealous, other men seeing me dance like that?"

Ben slightly growls "No, it made me want you. Walk faster."


	42. Confront

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension between Ben and Finn comes to a head and Rey steps in.

Ben holds Rey's hand. The doctor comes in the room. 

"It's negative, Rey. You aren't pregnant."

Rey is quiet. Ben slips his arm around her waist. 

"The implant is still there and still functioning. Chances are, it's the extra stress you've been under. You will start eventually."

Rey looks at a spot on the wall, unsure how to feel. Ben and the Doctor watch her. 

"Babe, you alright?"

She snaps to and looks at Ben. 

"Yeah," she leans into him "I'm fine. I'm glad. Are you glad?"

"Rey, I told you how I feel."

The doctor speaks up. 

"Rey, Ben, the implant can be removed at anytime. You could get pregnant quickly. But as a doctor, I don't advise this lifestyle as healthy for a pregnant woman. Accidents are common here. The stress is too much. But it's up to you."

"Thanks," Ben says, "we will let you know if we decide that."

The doctor leaves. They both look at the floor, holding each other.

"You okay Ben?"

"I'll get over it. I just…."

"Yeah, me too."

~*~

Ben is in the training room. He needs to punch something. 

Finn follows him in there.

"You need to stay away from me right now."

Ben follows this with a hard punch to the punching bag. Finn laughs. 

"You trying to send me a message?"

"I've been sending you a message for weeks Finn!"

"I've caught ALL of your subtle messages Ben. ALL of them."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Finn just glares at him.

"Oh...that," Ben laughs. "You are ridiculous. You know, you got a woman too. And whatever you and her do behind closed doors, I promise no one is noticing."

Finn begins sparring with a sparring stick. 

"You got her walking around here, having to wear her hair down….I don't have to leave marks on Jannah to show the other men she's my woman. You're embarrassing her."

Ben's face turns red, not out of embarrassment but anger. He wraps his fists with tape to keep from busting his knuckles on whatever he hits next. 

"Do me a favor and keep your head out of our bedroom Finn. I can't help what you think I'm doing to her. But I can promise you this.  _ Whatever _ I'm doing, she  _ loves _ it."

Each man glares. They clearly hate each other. Finn speaks. 

"You know, everything was good until you came and stole her from us. We needed her here."

Finn holds his stick in an attack stance.

"You wanna do this thing or what?" 

Ben laughs. "You want to spar with me? Didn't you learn your lesson the last time?"

"You mean when you called me a traitor?"

"Yep, so when you say I took her from 'us', you mean you?"

"Whatever Ben. Take it how you want"

"What I don't get with you, is while you are lusting after my wife, you are leading Jannah along. Jannah is my friend, Finn. We are cool with each other. That makes me think you are a sorry piece of shit"

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Ben charged at him, sparring stick in hand.

Finn blocked him, feeling like a brick wall hit him. 

"Think you are a badass don't you?" Ben breathes heavy, bearing down on Finn. Not from exertion but from anger. 

"No, I just know a liar when I see one."

Finn shoves Ben off. 

"What exactly am I lying about?" Ben asks, shaking it off, twirling his saber. 

"You got everyone around here thinking you are redeemed. I'm just waiting for the fallout when you expose yourself. You really think I believe that other Knight shit? If there was one, we'd be under attack by now."

Ben laughs, shaking his head. "Like you said, I don't give a fuck what you think."

Ben walks out of the training room only to run right into his wife. He had been so angry plus the confusion he felt over Rey not being pregnant, his emotions are a mess. 

He immediately embraces her. 

"Hey babe, you okay?"

She tilts her head, pulling her hair back.

"You did this on purpose?"

"Yeah, I did. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"I was upset but I remembered I did it to you too. Back home. But I told you when I did it. Just….check with me first, okay?"

She kisses him and whispers, "I won't say no." 

She pulls back and winks. He moves to grab her again. 

"Hold up there. I've got to talk to him. I heard everything."

He sees fire flash in her eyes and backs off.

She walks by, her head held high. Ben grins. 

"Good luck Finn. Better you than me."

~*~

  
  


"Finn"

Finn doesn't look up. He picks up a heavy satchel and slings it over his shoulder.

"Hey Rey" he says quickly and turns to go. He's got work to do. 

"Finn. Stop"

"Why Rey? So your husband can come claim you again?"

"Finn, don't do this. Don't talk to me that way" 

She looks at her feet, her eyes brimming with tears.

Finn sighs.

_ I've got to get over her. Her coming back here was not a good thing for me.  _

He sits, swinging the satchel down to the floor in frustration. 

"Rey, be honest. What is he saying to you about me? Is he telling you to stay away from me?"

"What? No! Ben's not going to do that Finn! You have him all wrong! You…."

"Me what?"

"You are the one making things hard Finn!!" 

A single tear going down her cheek, she angrily wipes it away. 

Finn is torn between feeling guilty for making her cry and feeling angry at her words. He went with the latter. 

"Me???? See...you are just so caught up in him you just believe everything he says"

"HE DIDN'T SAY THAT I DID!!"

Finn steps back. Rey has never hollered at him. 

Rey calms herself, still angry but actually more hurt than angry. She looks at the floor again.

"And even if he did, yes, I believe everything he says because..."

She looks up, making eye contact with her friend. 

"He...is...my...HUSBAND"

Finn almost rolls his eyes but stops himself. She sees it. 

"Oh. I see. I see now. Wow…"

She clenches her fists. Now her tears are angry. 

"I see what you did there Finn. Is my marriage a joke to you?"

"No Rey! It's not a joke! I just don't see how you can't see what he's doing"

She takes a few steps back from him.

"Ben was right. He said you don't have any respect for me if you don't respect my marriage"

He steps towards her.

"Rey! I do respect you! I don't respect him!"

She holds her hand up.

"That's not good enough for me"

"What are you saying Rey? I can't respect the guy. I'm sorry. I've seen too much. I seen what he put you through"

"Finn that was years ago!"

"It was. But I still saw it. I don't know what you want from me"

She knows what she wants. An answer.

She sits.

"Finn, sit there" she motions across from her.

"I can't sit next to you?"

She's tired of his maximum emotions.

"No Finn, you can't"

He sits and looks irritated.

"Finn, I have a question. And don't lie. Don't lie to me. I'll know. I swear I'll know"

"Okay, what is it?"

"Are you in love with me?"

Finn stands and walks a few feet away.

"Finn?" 

"Yeah" 

Rey hangs her head. She knew. She had known for years. But still, hearing it….

"Finn. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry. I didn't know back then"

"Did Ben tell you that I was? Is that how you knew?"

"Yeah"

"I never had a chance, did I?"

She stands and walks behind him. She touches his shoulder. He jerks away from her. 

"Don't Rey! Don't touch me! If you do I'm going to kiss you. I know I will. At least I'll try"

She steps back. She never realized his feelings were still so strong. 

"I would try. I'm not afraid of him. But I can't do that. I can't disrespect you that way. Rey, just tell me he's good to you."

"He is. He's amazing."

"Okay Rey, if you say so. I gotta go. I've got stuff to do"

She really did not want to end the conversation. They needed to come to some kind of peace. 

"Ben and I lost a baby"

Finn was walking away and stopped. He turned and looked at her. She drops her chin to her chest and wraps her arms around herself. 

"What? When?"

"Four years ago"

"I'm so sorry Rey. You don't have to talk about it"

She keeps talking.

"We were so happy. This was right after we got married. He built our house, did you know that?"

She didn't wait for his answer

"He built it for me. By himself. I wanted a home. I'd never had a home of my own. I needed a home. I asked him to do it and he did. No experience he just did it. For me. Then we found out about the baby. Everything was fine. I felt fine. He wouldn't let me do anything. He worried constantly, even before I got pregnant"

She is talking to Finn's shoes. She can't look up. She has not talked about their son to anyone but Ben. Her husband still can't talk about it easily, not even to her.

"He had horrible nightmares about me being taken by The First Order. Nightmares that I had to atone for what he had done. So the pregnancy didn't help. Then one day….the pain…."

She is crying. Finn wants to hold her. She holds her hand up at him. 

"No Finn, I'm okay"

"Rey…. don't talk about it"

She looks up, tears streaming down her face. 

"I want you to know! I want you to listen!

I screamed. I screamed for him. He was not home. But our dyad, he heard me. He came running as fast as he could. He thought someone was hurting me. He came in the room with his saber lit. He scooped me up and got me help. He held me. The midwife said most men don't even stay in the room. But he did. He wouldn't let her touch me. He cried the entire time. He didn't let go of me until it was over. It was his nightmare come true. He couldn't save him. Then he carried me home and took care of me for weeks. He thought I was asleep every night but I heard him cry. He even reached out to Leia and she came and he sobbed in her arms. He didn't even want more children! That's how bad it scared him"

She is strong again. The reminder of Ben's love had made her stronger. Again. 

"So, yes, he is good to me. He is amazing to me. He loves me so much. I could not be happier than I am with him. I'm so, so sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry that he's such a pain in the ass to you. I know he pushes your buttons. I'm sorry he's a jerk"

She sighs and continues.

"But Finn, you are too. You won't give him a chance. You don't respect my marriage. You deliberately provoke him. I see that now. I'm so disappointed in you. Jannah loves you. She's my friend, you asshole. 

If you can't get over me, that's your problem. And maybe I haven't helped. But it's NOT Jannah's fault. If you can't love her, let her go. Quit living a fantasy"

She pauses, trying not to cry. She is shaking. 

"Quit flirting with me. Quit touching me in front of him. Quit staring at me. You know what you are doing. If you can't respect my marriage, I can't have you in my life as my friend."

Finn is speechless. Rey uses the force to open the door and leaves. 

She goes to the forest and sits at the base of a tree and sobs. 

Ben senses her emotions and panics.

_ Rey! _

_ Just….I'm fine Ben….I need to be alone. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	43. Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad news arrives and possessive Rey is back!

"Rothbert is dead"

Rey feels the room spin. She is standing next to Ben and immediately feels his arms behind her. His chest against her back. He steadies her. 

"Ty….." she breathes out the young boy's name. 

_ I know Rey. We'll get him.  _

"How did you find out?" Ben asks. 

"I'll discuss that later."

Poe looks pointedly at Ben as he says it. The two have become friends, though neither will admit it. Ben has learned enough about his new "comrade" to know they will be alone in that discussion. 

"Poe…." Rey stammers, still leaning back against her husband. They are in a rather warm looking embrace but it's more that she needs his strength and he needs to her to know he's there. 

"I know Rey….just….let me think"

"Do we have any reason to believe Ty has been hurt?" Finn asks. He also had formed an attachment to the boy. Everyone knows that's one reason why he's been so snappy. 

"No. He is safe. For now. He was the one who delivered the message. Hux was behind him."

Rey lets out a small sound. She won't cry. That won't help matters. Her anger will arrive any moment. 

"What's the plan?" Rose asks. 

"Rescue mission, somehow." Poe answers. 

"We have no one on the inside." Jannah points out. 

Poe leans forward. Zorii sits to his right, holding his hand. She doesn't speak much in these meetings. She's Poe's right hand, everyone knows. She probably knows every secret, every code. She is his advisor and his greatest support. He wouldn't be the leader he's become without her. 

"We have intel that we've never had before."

He nods to Ben. 

"But wouldn't anything he knows be obsolete by now?" Finn asks. 

"You'd be surprised how lazy Hux is," says Ben, looking at his adversary. "evidence has pointed to him not changing many things. Even codes. He's more cruel than he is smart."

"Rothbert checked on many things that Ben remembered and found that much of it remains the same." Poe informs everyone. 

"So we need to talk about rescue. Who's going, who's staying. Ben, I need to have a word with you. The rest of you can go. We'll meet again after lunch."

Ben and Rey stay as the others file out.

"Rey, I need you to go do a thorough inspection on our best ships. Take Rose with you."

"Ummm. Now?"

"Yes" 

Poe's tone tells her not to argue. Ben grasps her hand. 

_ Trust him. I do.  _

_ I have a bad feeling Ben but I'm so glad to hear you say that.  _

Rey leaves and Ben sits. 

"He wants you, Ben. He wants you to come. The message was addressed to you."

"So that tells me that Gensha is with him. It's the only way he'd know."

"Are you going?" Poe asks.

"Yes"

"Rey?"

"No"

Poe smirks.

"Have you met Rey?"

Ben laughs. Poe smiles. 

"She's going with you and you can't stop her."

"Watch"

"Yeah, I'll watch alright." Poe smirks. 

"Just me, alone. Finn won't have my back."

"He will if I tell him to."

"No, he won't Poe. He'd love nothing more than to see me dead."

"Finn cares about your family too much to endanger you. Give him time, Ben. He'll come around. Maybe you should try to apologize for what you did to him."

"Yeah. Poe, he wants Rey. He can't get past it."

"Nah, he wants something he thinks could've been. He doesn't want to see that it never would've been. Rey never saw him like that. She never saw anyone like that, except you. You are good for her."

Ben shifts. He's not comfortable with compliments. He takes care of Rey because that's what she deserves. She deserves more than he could ever give her. 

"We'll talk more later about when you and Rey are leaving."

"She's not going."

Poe chuckles. "Keep telling yourself that."

Ben leaves to look for Rey. Mine as well get the argument over with. 

He finds Rey and Rose under an X Wing and grabs some tools to help. 

He sneaks up behind her. Hopefully she's too caught up in what she's doing to sense him. Rose looks up and he shushes her. 

"Hey, need some help?" He says, sneaking an arm around her waist. 

"Ben!" 

"I'm getting better at scaring her." He winks at Rose. She smiles. They had also had a talk. Rose told him all about Paige and it didn't take long for Ben to get emotional. His deepfelt apology was accepted by Rose, only because she'd seen how happy her dear friend was now. And who could stay angry at this giant who didn't hesitate to roll on the ground with two toddlers? It wasn't easy but Rose has a forgiving soul. She understands that Ben was somewhat a victim himself. 

"Listen, ummm….I'm going after Ty. Not sure when. But I am."

"Not alone, you're not."

"Should I go?" Rose asks. 

"No!" Both Ben and Rey say together, staring at each other in defiance. 

"No Rey, you aren't going."

"Like hell I'm not. You wouldn't let me go alone."

"No, I wouldn't. But this is different."

"How? Cause I'm a woman?"

"No! Cause you are a mother!"

"And you are a father!"

"Yeah, Imma go….." Rose slowly backs away. 

Rey doesn't notice Rose's getaway. She puts her finger in Ben's face. 

"Don't do this. Don't leave me here. We are stronger together. You need me. You know we are stronger together."

"I can't put you in danger."

"I'm in danger now!"

"I'm not doing this with you."

He turns and marches off, going across the hangar to check another X Wing. She spins and throws her wrench across the room. 

Katlit watches, smirking at their little disagreement. 

She approaches Rey. 

_ What is this about?  _

Katlit looks Rey up and down.

"I guess that little show, your dancing last night was to, what? Stake your claim?"

Rey is speechless. Who is this woman? Her anger was about to get the best of her. Not only is she furious with Ben for saying she can't go with him, now this woman is harassing her. 

"Katlit, first off, it wasn't a show. My husband danced with me. It's that simple"

Rey steps up closer to her, right to her face.

"Secondly, I don't need to stake a claim. He's my husband."

Katlit looks down at her.

"Yeah. We'll see."

Rey's eyes are like fire.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?"

Her hand slides down to her saber. 

This is clearly a threat not only to her but to her marriage and family. Nobody fucks with that, Rey decides.

Katlit walks away. 

She removes her hand from her saber. 

Rey cannot start a scene. She is a General, after all. 

_If_ _I ship her off, I'll look like some jealous wife who can't separate business from personal. And fuck it all, she's a damn good pilot._

_ I've got to handle this a different way. _

But for now, she has work to do. She'll focus on that. 

Rose comes back over.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I can't just stay here, Rose. I can't."

"He loves you Rey. He just wants you safe."

"Well, he doesn't always get what he wants. And that  _ woman…. _ who does she think she is? I've got to do something. She has no right…."

Rose stops her.

"Rey", Rose says and then indicates she needs to look across the room

Rey turns and sees Katlit speaking to Ben. 

No one else can see or feel it but Ben is angry and uncomfortable. Even Katlit doesn't sense it, standing right in front of him. 

But Rey does.

Rey connects.

_ What is she saying to you? _

_ I'll tell you later _

_ You'll tell me NOW. _

Ben hesitates. Things are about to go badly, quickly. 

_ She wants me to meet her tonight. _

Rey doesn't even respond back to him.

"Go get Poe NOW." She says to Rose. 

Rose has never seen Rey so angry. She's shaking. 

"Rey, don't kill her"

"Rose, she wants to meet my husband tonight. In secret"

"Oh well, in that case I'll help you kill the bitch."

Rey starts across the room.

"Can I help you Katlit?" She says through clenched teeth.

"No, this is between me and Ben"

Rey gets in Katlit's face, almost touching noses. 

"There's NOTHING between you and Ben, understand? And you want him to meet you? What time? I'll be glad to discuss anything you need to talk about. Let's just cut to the chase. Are you propositioning my husband for sex? Are you trying to steal my husband from me?"

Finn and Jannah run over.

"Rey….." Finn whispers.

Rey throws her hand up at Finn. 

Katlit looks down at Rey Solo with a smirk. She clearly thinks size matters. She's in for a surprise. 

Ben wants to run. The last time he saw Rey this angry, she tried to cut his face in half. 

_ Fuck….. _

"I just told him if he ever got tired of a little girl he could come find a woman"

_ HOLY FUCK…... _

It happened so fast no one even saw it, not even Ben. 

Rey has Katlit by the back of the hair and has pulled her down to her knees. 

Katlit can't breathe. It's like someone is choking her. 

"Let me explain something to you. The worst thing you could've done was try to claim Ben Solo. Cause I can kill you with a twitch of my finger, okay? That is my man and the father of my children. I've killed grown men for him already. I've been through  _ hell  _ to get him. I'll be  _ DAMNED _ if some slut talks to him the way you have"

This time it's out loud when he says it. 

"Fuck…."

Rey loosens the force choke. Katlit gasps for air. 

"I won't kick you off this planet. But if you so much as talk to him again, I won't use Jedi powers on you. I'll just beat your ass, you got it?"

Rey throws her on the ground and looks at Ben, looking like a wild animal. 

"General Solo doesn't have to kick you off this planet because I am, go pack your shit"

Poe has arrived, Zorii behind him, grinning.

"Can I kick her ass, hun? Please?"

Poe has to cover his smile.

"No."

"Dammit, you're no fun."

Ben takes the two steps to his wife and looks down at Katlit. 

"In case you wanted an answer to your question."

He grabs Rey and slides one hand to her ass and the other behind her neck, pulling her to him. She grabs him by the hair on the back of his neck. He kisses her passionately, slipping his tongue deep into her mouth, bending her backwards, not caring that the whole damn Resistance is watching. He wants everyone to see that nothing will come between him and Rey again. They belong only to each other.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	44. Three Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe's friendship grows stronger and Ben and Rey prepare for their rescue mission. And their anniversary.

"Three days. That's when we will be leaving."

Poe looks up and up at this Jedi towering over him. He smirks. 

"Told you."

"I need to train with her. It's been too long. I need to know she's ready. Plus I've got something I've been planning for her. I need to do that first."

Poe's smirk is unwavering.

"Told you."

Ben sighs and sits. "I tried. I'm doing this for you, you know that?"

Poe's brow goes up. "Me?"

"If I leave her here, she'll kill all of you with her temper."

"She will be fine Ben. But yeah, thanks. She scares the shit out of me."

Ben grins, for once thankful for Poe's sense of humor. 

"You?? I'm married to her. I can't run. I tried. She chased me. I had scars to prove it."

Poe laughs. He's found Ben's ability to take and give with the jokes a blessed relief. Poe has always dealt with things that life has handed him with a crass sense of humor. Most people don't get him. Somehow, someway, Ben's father's personality had begun to shine through his son. The further away he's gotten from Kylo, the more his true self has come to light. Ben Solo was actually a pretty funny guy, Poe has found. He frequently forgets this is the man who tortured him. He doesn't even look like the same person. 

Somehow, a friendship has been born. Poe has found someone that can help him lead. And that, he knows, is Leia, buried deep down. 

"I'm surprised I don't have any scars from her." Poe adds. 

Ben shrugs.

"I'm special, apparently." 

Poe laughs.

"So, three days? She's willing to wait that long?"

"That was our compromise. We haven't trained together and I haven't trained at all in months."

"I thought it just...came natural."

"In a sense it does. Just like with a blaster." He nods towards Poe's blaster, on his desk, always within reach. "But I need to see her. I need to know she's prepared. It won't help much but….you know….I'll feel a bit better."

Ben looks down awkwardly, worrying.

Poe lays his hand on his desk a bit loudly, getting Ben's attention. 

"She's good Ben. She's the best. No offense."

Ben smiles slightly. "Hell man, I know it. I knew it from the beginning."

They shift, thinking of the  _ beginning.  _ It's weird, the past. 

"Hey man," Poe gets Ben's attention. "Thanks. Thanks for taking care of her. I still...I mean...she deserves it."

"She does. She's easy to care for. She's…."

Ben trails off. Poe knows. He's always known. He wanted to take care of her but now he sees more than ever, who is best suited for her. This man back from the dead, brought to life by a scavenger from Jakku. 

Poe has no doubt Ben would lay down his life for Rey. And that is the main reason he's let the past die. Rey had changed everyone she met. 

He truly trusts Ben. 

  
  


~*~

Zorii watches as they spar. It's truly awe inspiring. Like a dance. 

A  _ heated  _ dance.

Zorii grins like a wildcat. 

Ben spins his saber in wide arcs, walking a wide circle while watching Rey. She does the same, rotating her wrist in a figure eight, her saber glowing gold. Her eyes are like flames in the sabers light, intent on her goal. 

She flashes an image into his mind, her straddling him holding her weapon at his throat, pinning him down while his weapon lays discarded, lost in battle. 

He blinks with distraction and she pounces. He blocks her attack, pushing her backwards with his brute strength. 

_ I see what you tried there. Cheater. He _ whispers across their bond. 

_ Worth a shot.  _

He may be stronger but she is quicker, ducking down and behind him, pouncing up, swinging down towards his back. 

Zorii almost yells out, not believing her own eyes. Rey's about to slice his back!

Ben tucks his body and rolls to the side, rebounding quickly. He jumps into the air, bringing his saber straight down at her face. She throws her free hand up and tossed him back with the force. 

"Whoa!" Zorii shouts. She wasn't expecting them to use force powers. 

Ben tucks and rolls and lands on his feet, standing tall, smiling. 

He charges again and sabers crash. This time she spins and brings his saber downwards. Her back is to him but she kicks her foot behind her, the downwards motion of his saber pulling him forward as her foot hooks on his calf. She yanks her foot forwards, using the force to keep her balance. His leg buckles and down he goes, to his knees. 

She twists towards him and brings her saber down at the back of his neck. Then she freezes, a hair breadth away from slicing him.

"Gotcha" she boasts.

He is down, breathing heavily. He looks up, sweat drenching him. His face is lit up with a proud grin. 

"Wow!" Zorii shouts.

"Again?" Ben asks.

"No question" Rey responds. 

He leaps straight up, landing on his feet. 

They circle again, daring each other. Zorii can only imagine what they must be saying to each other. The little facial expressions they make, the little smirks, the way their eyes burn. She knows they've forgotten she's even in the room. 

They strike, parry, turn, twist and roll. Rey clearly is the stronger Jedi. Somehow, Zorii knows Ben is okay with that. She suspects that he even likes it. He watches her in awe. He worships her. It's amazing to see how his eyes glow with respect. Rey adores him. She sees it. She pulls from him, he gives to her. She comes so close to wounding him but holds back. It's terrifying to watch yet mesmerizing. They are a force to be reckoned with. 

The intensity has built to the point it's electric. They clearly get off on this, Zorii can see it. As they have trained, more and more clothes have been removed until Ben is down to his black tank undershirt and Rey is in her training bra and leggings. Zorii doesn't remember Rey stripping down to that point when the two of them spar. 

She's starting to recognize just exactly to what  _ point  _ they've forgotten she's there. As soon as she realizes just how much Ben is watching his wife's body dance across the room, swinging that gold saber, she stands. 

"Ummm, Imma go now, K? Seems you two...umm...hello?"

Suddenly Ben is on his back and Rey attacks, holding him with her saber at his neck and he grins, extinguishing his own saber. His hands grab her thighs. 

"Yeah, I'll lock the door behind me," she scurries out the door.

She sets the lock to general-only clearance, turns and then returns, setting it to "General Solo" clearance only. She wouldn't want the other two generals traumatized if they walk in. 

"Oops, we ran her out" he says, looking around the room, smiling then pulling his wife down for a kiss. 

"She probably won't want to watch us anymore." Rey grins.

"Fine by me. You warned her." Ben smiles. 

Rey lays atop her husband as his hands explore her body. They are sweaty, gasping as they kiss. 

"You and that damn sports bra, you knew what you were doing, you tease."

She grins that wicked grin as she slides backwards, undoing his pants. 

"Nope," he grabs her hands. "Later. We've got plans, remember?"

She pulls her bra off.

"But….please?" She begs, pulling his tank up, laying on him, kissing him. She rubs her breasts against his bare chest. "Just a quickie." She murmurs, nipping at the skin on his neck. 

He rolls her over, sliding his hands down under her ass, kissing her deeper and harder. He massages her ass until she's moaning, trying to thrust up at his cock. His hands grip her hips, not allowing her to move. 

He jumps up quickly.

"Nope. Not till later. But nice try.  _ Really  _ nice try."

She crinkles her nose at him and sticks her tongue out. He pulls her up with one hand, kissing her tenderly as he strokes her bare back. 

"Go back to our quarters. I'll be there later. Wear the white dress. Happy anniversary."

"I love you Ben Solo." She whispers as she strokes his face. "I can't wait to see what you do this year. You always spoil me."

"You deserve it. I love you too." He kisses her nose. "Get dressed. Go."

~*~

"You didn't have to fix it too." Ben tells Jannah when he slips into the kitchen to grab their meal.

"It was my pleasure, Ben. I heard about the  _ training session _ so I figured you'd be running behind"

Ben's ears turn red, peeking out from his wet hair. He'd jumped in the fresher in the girls quarters and then dressed. Jannah's eyebrows go up and she laughs. 

"Wow" she says. 

"Shut up." He says then winks at her. She laughs louder. 

"Thank you. And thanks for getting her gift together too."

"I enjoyed a few, I will admit. Sorry."

"Nah, it's good."

Ben's never had a sister but the camaraderie between them felt like he did. She is funny and sweet. Finn better not break her heart, he thinks. She's too good for him and he's told her that. But she loves Finn so he let it go. 

Jannah's comm goes off and she listens. 

"You better go. Zorii said she's dressed and waiting."

"Don't let the girls run over you. They'll push their bedtime."

"They're fine. They are sweet."

Ben laughs loudly.

"Have you met my daughter's?" 

"They push  _ you _ because you are wrapped."

"Yep, ever since I laid eyes on them."

"Go! Have fun! Get!" Jannah pushes him out of the kitchen, handing him the picnic basket. 

"Tell Rey I said Happy Anniversary!" She yells after him.


	45. This Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our space babies celebrate their anniversary.
> 
> The song for this chapter is Taylor Swift's "This Love"

"I've always loved that dress." 

They walk hand in hand through the forest.

She smiles, letting go of his hand and sliding up his arm to link it through his.

"I remember your face. You were speechless. I felt so beautiful just the way you looked at me."

He stops and sets the basket down, pulling her into his arms. He kisses her until she's weak in the knees. She never feels weak to him though. He always holds her, feels how strong she is. She is his lifeline. She saved him. 

"You were always beautiful to me. From the first moment I saw you, Rey."

She blushes and giggles. He still makes her so damn happy. She's so happy that he's hers. She finds him so damn striking. So handsome. She always has. He's wearing the long thin crimson tunic that she loves him in. He only ever wears black pants. She used to hate black on him but it's truly his favorite color. But that dark red, it just looks so good on him, contrasting against his white skin. He takes her breath away. 

"And you were always so damn hot, Ben Solo."

Now he blushes and she grins. He kisses the freckles on each cheek and then her nose. He steps back, determined to keep his mind on track. 

"Come on Rey, we're not quite there yet."

He takes her hand again as they wind down a long trail. Jannah and the other women had told him how to get there. Soon they emerge from the forest at a lake.

"Oh Ben, it's so pretty here. Like our lake."

"I like ours better."

"Yes, me too. But can I swim?"

"Of course, why do you think I brought you here? But not in my dress." He winks at her. 

She grasps her skirt to pull her dress over her head but he stops her. 

"Not yet. I'll never get to your gift if you do that now."

"Gift? I didn't get you anything. You said no gifts."

"It's for both of us."

He steps back and pulls a blanket from the basket. Leia's blanket. He smooths it on the grass. 

"That's your mom's. It will get dirty, Ben."

"It's okay. It's probably been dirtied before, knowing my parents." He says with a chuckle, sitting down, stretching his long legs, spreading them. He pats the ground between them. 

"Come sit. Eat. Jannah fixed us a meal."

"Aw, that was sweet of her."

"Well, I asked her to. So am I sweet too?" He grins at her. She sits with her back to him and leans back against him. 

"Yes, you are, you sweet man." She rubs his thighs and he pulls her hair to the side, exposing her neck. He trails tender kisses starting behind her ear and going down. He sucks at the skin where her neck and shoulder meet, not too hard, having learned his lesson about marking her where others can see. He can mark her where others  _ can't  _ see though, which he plans to do plenty of….later. 

As he kisses her skin she distracts herself by grabbing the basket. Her stomach growls and he rubs it gently, laughing. 

"I guess I better stop and feed you."

She smiles. "Yes, feed me."

He reaches around and pulls out her favorite rolls, with the cream cheese fruit filling, slices of apples, pears and cucumbers, her favorite cheese cubes and lastly, a package wrapped in foil. 

"What's that?" She asks. 

"Your gift. Dessert."

"Air cake?"

"Well that's here too but no, something new."

She reaches to grab it and he slaps her hand lightly away then pulls her knuckles to his lips, kissing them as he circles her waist with his arm, pulling her closer. Her stomach rumbles again against his arm. He laughs as she pouts. 

"Nope not yet. Eat first." 

"Feed me." 

"That was my plan."

He picks up the fruit, bringing it to her mouth and she bites down, making sure to get the tips of his fingers with her lips. He feels her lips and moans as her tongue darts out and licks them. She knows what she's doing. He loves it when she sucks on his fingers. 

"Stop it, little minx. I gotta eat too. You're gonna make me hard and I'm hungry."

Her response to that is to wiggle her ass against his crotch. He moans again. 

"I'd prefer to do that in the water, naked."

"Oh I see now, you brought me out here to skinny dip."

"Sure as hell did. You game?"

"Always. You know I love skinny dipping with you."

They feed each other until both are full and way too turned on. They make out for a while until they are about to burst. By then both are almost naked. 

"Wait….your gift." he gasps, having become fully distracted by her breasts, which are fully exposed to him. 

She pouts as he rolls away. Though she does enjoy the full view of his ass as he turns over to grab the package. She tries to remove his underwear but he moves away. She laughs.

"Your bare ass can be my gift. I'm totally okay with that."

"You are a wicked woman."

"Only for you, though."

"Damn straight only for me." He winks at her. "Here, open it."

She takes it from him and peels back the foil. Inside are chocolate covered red fruits. She's never seen these before.

"Yummy looking. What is it?"

"Strawberries. Dipped in chocolate."

"Oh Ben! I always wanted these! Ever since you told me they are your favorite! How did you find them?"

"Turns out they grow wild here. Rose told me. I convinced the kitchen staff to get some chocolate for you and Jannah dipped them."

"Do you want the first one? They are for you too."

"No, here." He feeds it to her. She bites down and the red juice trickles, trailing down between her breasts. He leans down and catches it with his tongue, licking up her chest, her neck and eventually he licks her lips clean. 

"Damn Rey, I didn't think about that happening. This is the best fucking present I could've gotten. I don't even need a strawberry, I'll just lick the juice off of you."

She reaches for another and holds it to his mouth. He bites it and she licks the juice off his chest. 

"This is amazing on  _ so _ many levels. Who knew strawberries were so  _ sexy _ ?"

They continue for a while, taking turns feeding each other then licking the juice off of each other's bodies. 

"These taste so good, Ben."

"You taste way better, Rey." He whispers, his face between her breasts. She grabs his hair with both hands, pulling him to kiss her. He lays her flat and they make out a bit more, until both are hot, sweaty and gasping for air. He removes her panties and stands, removing his underwear, his hard cock almost painful. He needs inside her  _ now _ but he promised her skinny dipping. He scoops her up and carries her into the water as she kisses his neck, biting and sucking marks on him. He has no problem being marked for  _ everyone _ to see he's hers. 

He lowers her in the water and she swims backwards, away from him, smiling. He had taught her to swim, the girl from the desert. Just like in everything else, she excelled him quickly. Just like every other time, he doesn't mind. Except she's swimming away and he  _ wants  _ her. 

"Hey you. Where you going?" He asked, smiling. "Get back here woman."

She laughs. "Catch me."

"Gladly." 

He propels after her but she's gone, swimming faster. He picks up his pace and she slows, never able to resist being in his arms. 

He catches her from behind, pulling her back into his chest. One hand grabs her breast and the other slips between her thighs. His long fingers slide between her lips, finding her wet, dripping from inside.

"Always so wet Rey. You're always wet for me, aren't you?"

Nothing gets to her like him and that damn voice of his. 

"Yes Ben. For you. Only for you." 

Two fingers slide inside and she gasps then groans. 

"So tight, too." He growls into her neck. He bites down on her shoulder as he uses his thumb to stroke her clit slowly. His other thumb circles her nipple. 

She writhes in his arms, gasping and panting his name.

"BenBenBen….oh Gods Bennnnnn….it's so good. You make me feel so good."

"Come for me Rey. Come on my hand. Let me feel it. I need it. Please."

"Faster Ben…."

He picks up the pace, his hands working together in time. He feels her cunt clenching and he knows she's close.

"Rey, my Gods what you do to me…."

"Ben, make love to me...please...I need you inside….please…."

He spins her and pulls her close. She immediately kisses him, parting his lips with her tongue. She pulls his tongue into her mouth, sucking it hard. He thrusts his hips into her groin, wrapping one arm under her ass. She wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him near her heat. She pushes up on his shoulders and he pushes into her, roughly. Her impending orgasm hits powerfully and she screams, throwing her head back. 

"Damn Rey…. _ FUCK _ …"

Her cunt clenches down hard on him and he struggles not to come too quickly. He's not ready for this to be over. Her heat builds and the noises she is making are too much. He pumps hard and fast and comes, shouting her name. They both gasp and try to breathe. 

"Sorry, damn it."

She's still kissing and nibbling on his shoulders and neck, moaning as she descends from her high. She moans. 

"We have some time until we head back, the sun doesn't go down for another two hours."

"Let's swim back to shore, I've got another surprise." He whispers, kissing her over and over. 

"More? I'd say that orgasm was enough gift for me."

He smiles, laughing low. Kriff, the woman is too damn much. He decides he isn't quite ready to pull out of her yet. 

"Yeah, stay in me. I feel so empty when you pull out. I like the way you fill me up."

"Holy Fuck Rey….you have a way with words. Yeah let's stay just like this."

They kiss and hold each other, their bodies wet, sliding together. He loves feeling her tits on his chest, so soft and warm. Her hands play with his hair slowly, giving him goosebumps. 

Eventually she shivers. 

"You cold baby?"

"Yeah"

They swim back and walk back to the blanket. She lays down, still cold. She grabs her clothing to dress and try to warm up.

"No, wait." He tells her. 

He walks to a large boulder and reaches behind it, pulling out two large bags. He brings them back and reaches in them, pulling out several blankets and pillows. 

He piles the blankets creating a large pallet and leans down to her, lifting her and turning. 

"Oh, nice. So, what's your plan?" She asks. 

Ben covers her with a blanket after laying her head on a pillow. He lies down next to her, pulling the blanket over his naked form then pulls her close. Her face nestled into his chest. 

"Well, we have a babysitter and I've heard the stars are beautiful out here. Let's stay the night."

Rey almost asks if it's safe out here at night but she knows Ben will always keep her safe. She sighs contentedly.

"That sounds amazing." She says as she cuddles up to him. She feels him relax and he drifts to sleep. Rey watches him, playing with his hair as he sleeps deeply. She remembers when he had horrible nightmares, born from deep fear of losing her. She's so proud of him. He'd finally given himself to his destiny, throwing himself into the force. Only then was he finally at peace. 

After dark, he opens his eyes to see her, watching him. They just stare at each other, lost in each other.

"How did I ever live without you Rey?"

"Poorly, miserably. Me too."

"Don't go tomorrow. Stay here. Please."

"No. You need me. I cannot bear to send you into danger. I have to stay with you. You said we'd never be apart. Don't break your promise to me Ben."

"But…."

Rey kisses him soundly, silencing him. She rolls him to his back, climbing atop his body. The mere vision of her, up there, her amazing body naked for him to see, is enough to make him hard. She lifts up and sinks down, taking him inside her again. She makes love to him slowly, caressing his wide chest with her hands then mouth. She runs her hands over his strong shoulders and biceps, taking his hands and running her fingers between his. She pushes herself back up, watching him in the starlight. She rides him slowly, sensually. 

_ I want to do this all night Ben. Just make love to you and watch you. You feel so good.  _

She closes her eyes, feeling how he fills her up.

_ Open your eyes Rey. I need your eyes. Let me see them. Your eyes are beautiful.  _

Her thighs begin to throb and he rolls her over, entering her again, slowly. His forehead pressed against hers. Her arms wrap his chest and she feels his strength, his passion for her. His love. 

"Oh….Ben….so good."

"Rey…." He growls low.

"I love the way you make love to me…."

"Reyyyy….." He moans.

They go on and on and on, in and out, no rushing, giving and taking, making love slowly, lost in each other's eyes, hearts, souls. 

The force humming deeply from one to the other. The dyad burning slow, heat building in them. Their souls merge, the stars seeming to burn brighter.

Gasping, panting, moaning, sweating. 

She mewls deep in her throat and he is weak for her when she does that. 

"Come for me Rey…."

"Bennnnnn….."

"You are so beautiful"

"Bennnnnn….."

"I need you. I've always needed you. You are mine."

"Yes I am Ben, I always have been."

"I'm yours Rey...you own me."

"You are so beautiful Ben"

She builds and builds up to the edge. He takes her there, he always does. Slowly, so slowly, her body cascades over, falling, falling. Her breath comes faster, panting as he watches her, captivated that he does this to her. Only he sees her like this, on fire, burning all over. 

Wetness pours from her, onto him and he groans, growling as she throbs around him. 

"Damn Rey….I can't handle you…."

"Bennnnnn……" she moans loud and low and he meets her, coming with her as they grasp each other tighter and tighter. The climax lasts and lasts, pulling everything from each of them. All the heat, the passion, the love, the hunger. The force is louder and louder, humming with content. 

"Hmmmm, Rey, my God, I love you." He whispers to her, their eyes still locked on each other. 

"I love you too Ben. I'd go anywhere, do anything for you. I'd fight, kill, go to war again for you."

He slides down, their sweaty bodies making it easy to glide down her body. His head rests between her breasts, where he hears her heart racing, slowly returning to a normal pace. He feels his own heart beat in time with hers. Their hearts always in sync, just like their souls. 

He's not too heavy for her. She loves his weight pressing on her, making her feel safe, loved, protected.

"I'd follow you anywhere Rey Solo. Thank you for loving me."

"It's easy to love you, Ben Solo."


	46. Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey go after Ty

"Mama and Papa are going to save a boy. He needs help. We will be back soon."

"Okay Papa….be brave." Leia says, her eyes downcast. She sniffles.

This was something he'd never been prepared to do. Leave them. He's never gone more than a few hours without seeing them since the day they were born. He doesn't know how long they will be gone. This  _ hurts.  _ His strong willed baby girl telling him to be brave reminds him that she has no idea of who her father was, in another life when battles like this were all he knew. It's a thought he shoves away, to be dealt with later. 

"Papa? Hold me?" Driea whispers.

"Always, baby girl." He responds, letting her climb up on him. She feels so small, curling into his chest, the same thing her mother does when she's afraid. He pulls Leliana up too. She's never one to want affection, never one to show fear, but her force signature echoes to Ben that she too, is afraid. He always senses them. Not like Rey, not a tether tying them to him but like a delicate string, one that always hums deep in his soul. 

"Everything is going to be fine. We will be back soon." 

He prays to the force that he is right. 

"Papa, the boy needs help? He is afraid?" Driea asks. 

"Yes, I'm sure he is."

"Who is being mean to him? A bad person?"

He breathes deep, a quick slip of utter fear. Hux would love nothing more than to hurt his girls, which is why he must die. Ben has kept them safe, a secret. He'll not always be able to keep them guarded, not as they grow up. He must kill Hux, for his family. A small, familiar slip of the dark side slips in. He isn't afraid of it, no more than Kylo was when it came to protecting his Rey. He'd use it, he'd use  _ whatever _ , to keep them safe.

"Yes, a bad man. A very bad man."

"Papa, go help him. Don't let the bad man hurt him. You will be very good at helping him. You are strong, Papa. He's not as strong as you are."

Ben is surprised and oh so very proud of his girl. Driea is very wise. She's a deep thinker, he knows this. She will be a strong Jedi. He buries his nose into her raven hair, committing her scent to his memory. Then he does the same to Leiliana. 

"No, he's not as strong as I am." Ben isn't referring to physical strength, even though that part is true. He's referring to the strength and purpose to overcome. Hux doesn't have what he has. He doesn't have purpose. A reason to fight. 

He sighs, reaching for Leia's chin and pulling her eyes to his. 

"You be good. You listen to Poe, Zorii, Finn, Jannah, Rose and Chewy. They love you very much and will take good care of you. Don't talk back. Be sweet. Do your lessons, okay?"

"Yes Papa"

"Driea, be a good girl. You two try not to fight, okay?"

"Yes Papa….Papa?"

"Yes?" 

"Take care of Mama."

He turns them in his lap so he can look in their eyes, cradling their little heads in his large hands, like he did when they were babies.

"Listen to me, I will always take care of Mama. Papa loves Mama so very very much. Remember? Papa saved Mama?"

"Yep," Leia smiles. "And Mama saved you right back."

Ben laughs, nodding at Rey in confirmation. 

"Yes, yes she did. She saves me every day. And so do you and Driea. Every day you save me. You make me strong. I will take very good care of Mama. I promise you that. I love your Mama. Very, very much."

"Yes, she's your Rey."

He smiles and looks up at his Dyad. She's holding back her tears. 

"She is my Rey."

He kisses them over and over, standing and turning, laying them flat and blowing bubbles on their tummies with his mouth, tickling them while they pull at his hair and giggle till they can't breathe, both fighting to get as many kisses and tickles as they can. He leaves them in a mess of laughter, hoping that he distracted them from their worries. He walks out quickly, Rey staying to speak with them. 

He's a mess, leaning against the wall, trying not to fall apart. He has a very bad feeling but he can't let it consume him. He probably wouldn't feel this way if Rey would stay. 

It's not just that though. He's never gone on a mission with a true fear of not returning. He'd never cared in the past if he lived or died. But now, now he has a lifetime of giggles and kisses and watching two young girls grow up that he doesn't want to miss out on. He must come back to them.

Rey comes out crying. 

"They made me promise to take care of their Papa."

Ben embraces her.

"They will be okay. They love it here."

She sniffles into his chest as his huge hand strokes her hair. He kisses the top of her head. 

"I know. Their bravery astounds me."

He grasps her chin, pulling her face up.

"They will be okay."

She nods, standing straight and taking his hand in hers. Her fingers twine into his. She always holds his hand this way, like she wants all of his skin touching hers, possessively. She pulls him along, eager to move towards their mission. Eager to get it over. Eager to return to their children. 

~*~

They had decided to go alone. Without their comrades. They didn't need to worry about the others. They were a team, together. 

They'd never done this, together. For a year they were enemies, but not truly. Enemies as far as everyone could see. No one had seen them united, sans the guards they had killed in the throne room. No one knew how  _ powerful _ they were, together. They'd never taken on an official mission. 

But they knew. They'd felt it, in that red room, how  _ unstoppable _ they were, together. It was quite the high. Quite exhilarating, that moment years ago. 

And as much as he hated having her here, he loved having her here. His partner, in marriage, in parenting, in the Bond and in life. And now, in war. 

She completes him. Helps him nagate life, obstacles, concerns. 

They leave Anja Kloss, alone. 

"How will I tell them?" He asks her, setting the ship to autopilot. They had not taken the Falcon. They were in a transport ship, one that Rey had customized for rescues. 

"Tell them what?" Rey asks, rechecking the coordinates. 

"Kylo"

She rolls her head on the seat, looking at him. "Where is this coming from?"

"She told me to be brave. Our daughter told me 'Papa, be brave'. Like she thinks I've never done this before. Fought. Went on missions. She thinks her father is just a Jedi carpenter. She has no idea…."

"They will never stop loving you, Ben. Never."

"Won't they? Won't they, Rey? Do you understand how  _ angry _ I was to find the truth of my lineage?"

"You won't lie to them, Ben. Not like Han did to you."

"So, when should I tell them? At 10? 16? 23? That's when I found out. That's too late. But, that's so young."

"Now you see maybe why they didn't tell you?"

"Don't make me think about it."

Rey turns and sinks to her knees on the floor. She turns his seat, spreading his legs and kneels between them, taking his face in her hands.

"They will always love you. You aren't some father who's been absent, unsure, afraid of their powers. You haven't ran all over the galaxy, trying to fix everything but the most important thing, your own family. You've been there everyday, loving them, teaching them everything, not just Jedi training but everything else too. How to fish and hunt and play and climb trees and cook and live. You even taught them how to braid their hair in Alderaanian braids. You have been a father. More than that you've been a Papa. Which is more important. I don't know how or when we will tell them but  _ we _ will tell them."

Her hand slides to his chest, over his heart.

"You," she moves her hand to her own heart, "and I,  _ we _ will tell them."

"I will tell them that there was a lost man, a man who had been lied to, overlooked. A man who was afraid, alone. Then that man found their Mama. He saw their Mama. He saved their Mama from being alone, he understood her and  _ loved _ her and  _ saved  _ her from being all alone. He cast aside evilness and took her and gave her his name when she had no name of her own. He helped her save the galaxy and then he saved her galaxy. That yes, you were evil once but then you were goodness, patience, kindness. Then you loved them more than anything you'd ever given up."

By then, tears flowed down his cheeks. Ben Solo was not a crier. Except for Rey.

"How do you do that, Rey?"

"Do what?"

"Make it all make sense."

"That's how I see it. That's how it was."

He grabs her face, roughly. 

"Don't leave me today. Don't. You have to stay safe. I can't help but worry you are going to get hurt. You are everything. I can't do life without you. You listen to me. Don't get stubborn."

"Me, stubborn?" She smiles. 

"I mean it Rey! Don't ignore me. If I tell you fight, you fight. If I tell you duck, parry, dodge, run, hide, whatever, DO IT. Don't be a rebel. Not with me."

"I've always been a Rebel."

"And I was  _ born  _ to rebels. But don't rebel from me. I'm in charge. No arguments."

She can tell he needs to hear her say it.

"I trust you."

"Good"

He kisses her nose, counting out loud. His lips fall to each cheek, still counting. He grazes his mouth across her hairline, finishing at a number she doesn't recognize. 

"What are you doing?"

"Counting your freckles. I want to kiss each one."

"You are too sweet, Ben Solo. You count my freckles."

"Kylo did too."

"What? When?"

"Every time you saw him. Every force connect, face to face, every saber battle. The first time I tried you were in that damn chair. Your face was dirty. I even tried when I fought you. But you moved too fast. One time I got to 14 and I almost got myself killed. I was just lost. In these."

His finger came up and he played connect-the-dots on her face. Her thumb slowly moved across his face, from one beauty mark to the next. They stared at each other, lost in each other's faces.

"I can't lose you." He whispers.

"You won't"

"But last time…."

"You  _ won't _ " she says more forcefully.

"Why couldn't you just stay behind?"

"Because you are  _ mine.  _ You are mine and I'll  _ never _ leave you."

The ship beeps, coming out of hyperjump. 

They are almost there. 

Their ship lands inside the empty hangar. Ben had used old codes, amazed that they still worked. And just like years ago, this hangar was manned only by droids. They'd used the force to mask any security cameras and turn back the Tie fighters guarding this side of the massive ship. These were techniques they had practiced and perfected for years as they grew stronger in the force. 

They both dressed in their disguises, him in a hard sought very large stormtrooper uniform and her back in Zorii"s disguise, the helmet remodeled in case anyone recognised it from before. 

"I'm so ripping that off of you later." Ben says. 

"Only you could still be horny in a moment like this." She responds, winking at him before slipping the helmet on. 

He attaches the cuffs to her wrists in front of her body. Then his hand sneak around to grip her ass in the skintight outfit. 

"Oh the cuffs make it much bett….worse. Better and worse. Damn Rey. Who has twins and looks  _ sexier _ afterwards? Your hips and ass came outta nowhere."

"Stop it! Focus!" She fusses then laughs. 

They emerge from the ship and he grabs one of her arms roughly. 

_ Hey! Watch it! _

_ I thought you liked it rough…. _

_ I swear if you don't stop…. _

_ Punish me later? Please? _

She snickers then stops herself. 

_ I have to look captured....Don't do it! No jokes about capturing me!! _

_ Ugh….dammit….. _

They move down the nearest corridor. Ben becomes all business as he searches for Hux's force signature. She searches for Ty's. 

_ This way, Ben... I feel him.  _

She feels alarm rise in Ben. 

_ Hux is that way too.  _

_ It's going to be okay Ben.  _

Rey follows Ty's signature, winding down corridors. No one stops them. No one pays attention to the trooper and his prisoner. 

They come to a door. 

_ You feel Ty? _

_ Yes…. _

_ I feel Hux. Rey, he's in there….5 guards also. _

_ Plan?  _

_ Remove your cuffs now. Get the boy behind you. I kill Hux. He's probably unarmed. You freeze all of the guards at one time. Kill them if need be.  _

Because of Finn, Ben had agreed to  _ try _ not to kill troopers. 

_ We have to do this fast. Before Hux calls for backup.  _

_ I'll hit him first.  _

Rey carefully removes her cuffs, laying them down quietly. She removes her saber, ready to ignite it. 

Ben readies his blaster, his saber at the ready in his other hand. 

He hits the door panel. 

Ty is in the corner in a chair, Hux standing next to him. As soon as he sees the blaster, he grabs the boy by the neck, injecting him with a poison. Ty slumps, unconscious. 

"So nice of you to join us, Miss Bliss. Or should I just call you Rey? Since you are too pathetic for a surname?"

Rey freezes. Ben stills the troopers with the force, barely moving his hand, so as not to alarm Hux. He will assume Rey did it. 

"Give me the boy"

"And what do I get in return?"

"To live"

Hux laughs. He walks to Rey, cupping her bare neck with one hand. 

Ben literally begins to shake. 

_ No Ben!! Stay calm!! _

_ He's  _ **_touching_ ** _ you…. _

"Who's your friend here? Dameron? Wow he's a tall guy."

"Yes, it's Dameron." Rey breathes carefully. 

"The poison in the boys veins is traveling quickly. He will be dead in minutes. Remove your helmets. Now."

Rey slowly removes her helmet and speaks. 

"Thanks, I can see better to kill you now."

He runs his hand up to Rey's face. 

"You don't like that, do you Dameron? You don't like me touching her. Is she good for a fuck?"

_ No Ben….not yet…. _

Ben can't even acknowledge Rey. He must pace himself. 

Oh, he's going to love killing Hux.  _ Love it.  _

Hux reaches for his comm and clicks it.

"Bring him in"

The frozen guards are still trapped in the force hold but a side door opens. 

Rothbert is thrown into the room, barely alive but very much alive. 

_ He's alive Ben!! Did he betray us?? _

Ben seeks out the battered man's mind. 

_ No….they beat it out of him…. _

_ Does Hux know you are alive? _

Ty moans and falls from the chair, convulsing. Rey hollers and Hux grabs her in a choke hold. Ben knows if he chokes Hux with the force his grip on Rey will only tighten down so he activates his saber, ready to strike Hux dead. 

Suddenly, they are hit from behind. Ben looks down at Rey. An dart protrudes from her back. He feels that he too has been hit. He grips his helmet pulling it off. 

Hux freezes. Obviously he didn't know Ben was alive. 

Hux's evil smile is the last thing he sees. Rey's hand is the last thing he feels as they reach for each other. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	47. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is about to happen to our space babies???
> 
> Read warning please!

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS WHAT COULD BE TRIGGERS. I am posting a summary at the end if you choose not to read.)

The room is swirling as the pain continues, over and over.

He can't feel her. He can't hear her. 

_ Rey!!! _

_ Rey where are you??? _

_ Rey!!!! _

She's nowhere…..

He can't feel the force….

He can't feel his girls….

He can't feel anything….

He does feel the punches...the pain radiates all over. But he absorbs it, letting it consume him. 

Just like before when being tortured by Snoke, he sinks into memories of her. Last time it was only memories of her face, her voice, the touch of her hand. 

This time it's her smell, her taste, her hands on his body, her lips on his. The first night together.

The memories lap over him like waves.

_ I'm yours forever…. _

_ I love you Ben Solo…. _

_ Will you be my husband? _

_ I'm pregnant again…. _

It's watching her belly swell, feeling it move with his children inside. 

The girls. Nuzzling their newborn hair, feeling their warmth on his chest. The first time they said Papa. Their giggles, smiles, their first Jedi lessons. 

He had learned how to deal with torture.

He was in and out of consciousness, not fully able to tell the difference in the two. The entire time terrified for his Rey. 

_ Where is she? _

Finally, the troopers walk away. He follows them with his eyes. 

Someone is strapped to an interrogation table.

It's her. 

Rey. 

How can he not feel her? She's right there!

Suddenly they attack her. They punch her in the stomach. 

Ben roars like a lion. 

"REY!!!!!"

Then Hux appears again.

"Let him see her!!"

"REY!!!" 

A trooper punches him. 

"So….you're alive. You ran off with her didn't you? You destroyed  _ everything  _ you built, everything I built, for HER. A no good scavenger. You been fucking her all this time? You left to go fuck  _ her _ ?"

Ben doesn't hear him. He only sees her. 

Rey lay almost naked, strapped to the chair. She is almost aware of being in danger but more aware that she can't feel Ben, even though he is nearby..

She can hear him scream for her but she can't seem to respond to him. Her head swims, the pain is unbearable as the poison races through her. 

Ben tries to use the force. He moves his cuffed hands, trying to reach out through the Force. To reach Rey, to choke Hux. Anything. 

_ Why can't I feel you Rey? Can you hear me Rey? Please babe! Answer me! Look at me if you can hear me! I'm so sorry!  _

Hux is watching Ben and he laughs. 

"You can't use your magic tricks anymore. The poison strips them away, you idiot."

They were incapable of using the force in any way. Not even to force connect. 

Rey was given double the dose while Ben was given not quite even one dose. Hux wanted him to know what was happening. 

He lifts Rey's hand and notices the fine golden band on her finger. 

"Take off his glove!!!" Hux screams. 

Hux sees the golden band on Ben's finger. 

"She's your wife??"

Ben won't give him the pleasure of an answer.

"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me! It's better than I thought!!" 

He walks up to a mumbling Rey and grabs her chin, leaning to examine her closely. 

"You married street scum? A rat?"

Hux removes his glove and runs the tip of his finger around Rey's jawline and across her lips, lustfully staring at her. She looks up and sees Hux and manages to spit at him. 

Ben is raging.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!!"

"Wow, she's a fireball isn't she Ren? I bet she's hot inside too..." he says as he rips off her breastband.. She is barely covered now, not even aware of what is happening, simply muttering.

"Ben….Ben….where...are...you…..Ben…."

"DO NOT TOUCH HER!!" Ben screams, thrashing about, unable to break the restraints. The drug has left him weak, physically and mentally.

He wants to call his saber to him. He cannot.

"Yeah, I think I may have to up her meds and find out just what you see in this gorgeous filth you married. I think she'd feel great with her legs wrapped around me."

He grabs her thighs and snatches them apart, digging his fingers into her thighs as she struggles against him. She screams, unaware of what was happening but afraid and in pain, feeling a violation occuring. 

Hux grins. "I do like it when a woman  _ fights _ me."

Somehow, someway, Ben finds a burst of strength. 

He breaks the restraints with a roar from his soul. Trying to charge at this  _ monster _ , He falls face down to the floor. The meds are working stronger on him the more he fights. He is desperately trying to get to Rey. 

Hux grabs Rey's hair, causing her to scream out. He forces a kiss on her. 

"Ben……" she whispers, sobbing. "where are you?"

Ben is crawling to her, determined to save her from being raped by this monster.

"I'm here Rey. I'm here...." 

Hux laughs and grabs her breast forcefully. She screams, not really aware of where she is..

Ben struggles to stand, struggles to call his saber so he can cut this bastard's head clean off. He is losing to the drugs.

"You make me sick fawning over this bitch when the galaxy was yours. I just have to figure out what's so great about her. She's mine now"

He nods to the troopers.

"Kill him"

Hux undoes his trousers. Rey whimpers.

Suddenly, an explosion. The doors fly off the hinges, smoke billowing into the room. Blasters are firing in every direction. 

"Rey! Ben!"

Poe! He's here! 

Guns blazing, Finn by his side, they blast their way into the room. Zorri and Jannah not far behind. 

Hux screams at the guards "KILL THEM!!!" Ducking through a secret exit and escaping. 

The group of friends destroy every single guard within seconds. They looked around and Hux is gone.

Poe spots Rey and runs to help her. He stops. Seeing her semi-naked he averts his eyes and shouts for Zorri and Jannah.

"Cover her and get her out of that!!" 

The women rush to Rey, cutting off her restraints.

"Ben….."

"He's here, Rey. Ben is here." Zorii assures her, holding back tears. 

Jannah looks at Zorii, grabbing Rey's breastband and wrapping it quickly around her. "Was she rap….."

Zorii lets out a sob, taking a second to smooth Rey's hair out of her eyes. 

"I don't know, Jannah. Go!!"

Poe calls for Finn to help him with Ben.

Ben is unaware of what is going on and is calling out for Rey. He can't seem to see his two comrades.

"Ben it's Poe, we got her. She's okay Ben. Ben? She's safe"

"Can we get him up?" Poe asked Finn

Finn responds, "We have to, I'll get Chewie but we have to try to get him going towards the Falcon"

They manage to half carry, half drag Ben to the corridor, out of this awful room. Finn screams for Chewie to come get him. Chewie roars at the sight of his nephew and Rey. He scoops Ben up like a ragdoll. 

The women had used their own jackets to cover Rey and then carry her. Finn takes her from them and tells them to run. More troops are coming. Hux is returning with reinforcements. 

"Go! I got her! Go!"

Finn runs to the falcon trying not to look down at Rey. Too much of her is still exposed. He just reassures her. 

"I got you Rey. I got you. It's Finn. You're going to be okay."

"Ben??" She cries out. 

"It's me, its Finn."

The drugs must be wearing off. She finally recognizes her friend.

"Finn?? Finn you shouldn't be here, it's not safe"

"It's okay Rey, I got you"

  
  


END OF TRIGGERING MATERIAL. 

(Rey and Ben were tortured by Hux after poisonous darts knocked them out and they were injected with a drug that removes their Jedi powers, including their ability to connect through the Dyad. Hux sexually assaults her with Ben there. Ben is helpless and can only watch. Hux was going to rape her but Poe and the gang show up. Hux disappears.)


	48. Safe

Both are laid side by side in the quarters. Poe runs to the cockpit with Chewie while Finn runs to the gunner. The fight isn't over. They have to escape.

Rey is the one who is the most experienced with the medical kit but the women do the best they can to try to bring them out from under the drugs effects. There is not much that can be done but wait. Jannah covers them both and watches over them while Zorri runs to help the men. 

Finn manages to take down the tie fighters and as soon as they are able, Poe throws them into hyperjump. 

Slowly, Ben comes awake. 

"Rey? Rey?"

"She's right next to you Ben, she's right there"

"I can't find her!" he screams in his poison filled stupor. 

Jannah takes Ben's hand and places it on his wife. 

She almost cries at the fear he feels for Rey. Ben is beyond terrified as he gulps in air and shakes violently. He can't stop screaming her name. 

Jannah stands over him, grabbing his face with her hands. 

"Ben! Ben! Open your eyes Ben!"

He opens his eyes suddenly. They are wild, wide, searching every which way.

"Jannah! Jannah! Where is she?? Is she okay? Where are we?? What happened??"

"Yes Ben she's okay. Look over here Ben. Right here. Calm down….shhh...look, she's right here."

She takes both of his hands and places them on Rey's body, he follows his hands. 

"There she is….Rey….oh Rey….."

Tears flow from Ben's eyes as he sits up, one hand on his unconscious Rey.

"Is she okay? He hurt her Jannah! Did he....oh God Jannah....did he? Why isn't she waking up?? Rey, wake up!"

Ben shakes Rey roughly. Jannah grabs his hands again, stopping him. 

"Stop Ben. She's unconscious. I don't think he violated her, Ben. I think we got there in time. Hux ran when he saw us. I'm pretty sure he didn't rape her"

"But he was about to….." Ben said through clenched teeth. His heart rate tripled. 

"Yes Ben, he was."

Ben could barely see, barely breathe. The words came back to him. He had called her filth, a rat, a bitch.....

He had touched her, humiliated her. He had touched Rey. His wife, his dyad, the mother of his children....

Hux will die for this. Slowly, thought Ben. 

He snaps out of his anger and remembers she is okay.

"Jannah, I could never repay any of you for saving her. Thank you"

Rey begins to moan. 

"I'll leave you two alone. Ben, I'm glad she's okay. I'm glad you both are"

Jannah leaves.

Ben gathers Rey into his arms. He sobs, openly, deeply. The memory of what just happened flows through his mind. The anger, the deep hatred for Hux was cast aside a moment while he held her, tears flowing. 

There had been a time that this was his nightmare. Watching Rey hurt, losing her. He had let that fear control him, almost causing him to return to the dark side.

While he has indeed seen his wife hurt, the fear doesn't conjure up the dark side. Instead, the force is there, slowly returning as the drug wears off. Giving him strength. He knows he will deal with Hux. He knows he will hunt him down and he will kill him. 

But for right now, in this moment, he is a husband. He has to focus on taking care of her. 

He connects to the force, centering himself, so that revenge doesn't eat him alive. 

As he does, he feels strength flow back into him. 

He holds her to his chest, breathing deeply and slowly, pushing his breath into her. His life force matching with hers. He places his forehead to hers. 

He senses fear in her. 

He connects to her through their dyad. She needs to come out from under this horrible spell. This evil drug. He can hear her thoughts.

_ Ben!! Ben! Where are you? I can't feel you! I can't feel them! Where are my girls? Where am I? _

_ Rey? It's me. I'm here. I love you. I love you so much. I'm here. I'm right here babe. I never left you. I'm holding you. The girls are safe. Come back to me baby. Wake up. Kiss me. _

He kisses her face all over, gently, still whispering to her through their bond. Her eyes slowly come open.

"Ben?" 

"Rey, I'm here. You are safe. I have you."

He pulls her up into his lap and she curls up, like she always does. He wraps her tightly. 

Tears flow from both eyes. "Ben, Ben.....I was so afraid...."

She weeps. He holds her and rocks her. He'll never forgive himself for what has happened to her.

"Shhhh, I'm here…. I'm here……"

She tries to sit up, suddenly panicking. 

"Where are the girls???" 

"They are safe. They are on Anja Kloss, remember? They are with The Resistance, remember?"

"Oh oh yeah. I forgot. What's wrong with me? I'm...fuzzy...something. The room is spinning. My head hurts"

"You were poisoned Rey. He poisoned both of us. Do you remember anything?"

He winces inside and prays she doesn't.

She doesn't seem to hear him.

She sits up more, touching him, running her hands over his face and chest. 

"Oh Ben, are you okay? Did they hurt you? Ben, your face….they hit you."

He is so overwhelmed by her love, he doesn't feel the pain. He doesn't deserve her. Here she is, injured but worrying about him.

He has to kiss her. He places his mouth gently on hers. Her tongue immediately parts his lips. She has to taste him. His tongue is healing for her. 

He can't help it. He kisses her deeply, passionately. He almost lays her back onto the bed to make love to her. He wants to. Not roughly. Not quick or fast. But slowly, gently. 

He had seen another man try to take her. The monster had looked over her naked body, lustfully. He even touched her.

Ben wants to reclaim her. 

But no, not yet. Rey needs rest, to recover. But when this is all over....

She is still kissing him, desperately, needing him. He pulls away. 

"Rey, you need rest. You need to drink something, here" he says as he reaches for a bottle of water, holding it to her mouth as she drinks. 

Her eyes are a bit glazed over from the drug. He realizes she is a bit drunk from it. She would not have pushed him away if he took her. 

As strongly as he is tempted, he will not take advantage of her. 

"Rey, rest. I want you too babe, so, so, badly but we can't right now. I want you to rest. You need to sleep that drug off"

"Okay Ben, but later?"

"Oh yeah babe, later. I can definitely promise you later"

He has to get away from her. He stands, still a bit wobbly. 

It occurs to him that later on, once he has to tell her everything, the last thing she will want will be sex. 

He accepts that. Whatever she needs from him. Even if it's space. He'll give it to her. 

The door slides open and there stands Jannah in the corridor. She was waiting to be welcomed back inside. 

Good thing he had not made love to his wife, he thought. In her state, she probably wouldn't be quiet. 

"Jannah, stay with her. I need to see the guys"

"Whoa, are you okay? The drugs are still in you too, you know"

"Yeah, just watch her. I got her to drink some. See if she will keep drinking. That will help flush it out of her"

  
  
  


Ben runs to the cockpit, almost running over Finn. 

"Whoa slow down. Where ya going?"

Ben grabs Finn in a bear hug, knocking the wind out of him, startling him. Ben had never even been nice to him, much less hugged him.

"Finn! Thank you. Thank you for saving her. I can never repay you"

"She would've done the same for me. Is she okay?"

Ben keeps walking quickly, he turns while walking backwards. 

"She will be. Jannah is with her"

Finn turns to go check on Rey

"Oh, uh, Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"I would have done the same for you too."

Finn's eyes go wide. 

"Ummm. Okay. Yeah"

He makes it to the cockpit only to be assaulted by his Uncle.

"Chewie! Yes I'm okay. Yeah she's alright she's asleep. No you can't go check on her Chewie. No....No....because she's almost naked Chewie! Okay? She's not dressed."

Poe shifts uncomfortably.

"Chewie I need to talk to Poe, okay? Yes, alone"

His uncle hugs him. There was never a gentle hug from Chewie. The unhealed injuries inflicted on him scream out. 

"Chewie!!"

Chewie chatters his wookie language.

"It's okay. I love you too"

Then he slumbers off, probably to go pester Jannah to see Rey.

There is awkward silence.

Ben had avoided the cockpit when he showed the girls their Papa Han's ship. He usually only stood outside the entrance, letting the girls explore. 

That's where he stood now. 

"Uh, Poe, ummm, can we talk?"

"Come in. I'm not putting it on auto pilot"

"Yeah. Umm. Well....nevermind...I'll talk to you later"

"Ben, get your ass in here. Face it already. I need to know if she's okay"

Ben steps inside. Memories flood over him like a waterfall. He looks at the pilot seat, where Poe sits.

But it's not Poe he sees. 

Han's voice echoes in his head.

"C'mon kid, get up here. Come sit in your cockpit. It's your ship and you know it." 

Ben shakes his head. 

He watches Poe fly "his" ship. It hurts like hell. He should be sitting there. 

"You should be sitting here Ben"

Ben is taken aback to hear Poe not only echo his thoughts but acknowledge the truth. Ben wonders sometimes if Poe is more force sensitive than he wants to admit.

"No. She's yours now Poe. I realize that"

"No, Ben. She's not. I realize that myself. Anytime you want to fly her, you don't even need to ask. Well, maybe Chewie. But not me, sit down" he gestures to the co pilot seat. 

"No! Ummm, I mean, no...it's okay. I'll stand"

Poe puts her on auto pilot. He can't stand to see the guy squirm. 

I swore I wouldn't let this guy get to me, he thinks. Now he's practically my brother. 

"Alright let's go in here then"

Poe sits at the chess table. Ben can't sit there either. He just stands. 

"Look, um..you were right about the trackers. Sorry for being a dick." Ben stammers.

The two had argued pretty hard before they left. Poe had insisted on them having trackers. Ben insisted he could protect them. Fortunately, Rey sided with Poe. The trackers were enabled with the ability to let Poe know of any loss of consciousness. As soon as they both passed out, the rescue team was launched. Poe didn't stay behind this time. 

"How is she?" Poe changes the subject, not only to avoid the awkward conversation but out of real concern. 

"Rey? Oh yeah, who else....She was drugged much heavier than me. She'll sleep it off. The women are listening out for her"

Ben can't talk about her physical injuries. 

"Does she remember anything? Does she remember what he was about to do?" Poe starts shaking, turning red.

Ben is surprised at his reaction. His wife has no shortage of friends. 

Ben finally sits. 

"Not yet. I don't know if I should tell her."

"I cannot imagine what that was like for you Ben."

He looks down and a tear falls. Poe pretends not to see but is impressed with his reaction. He really does love her, Poe thinks. 

"I've seen her dead, Poe, is it weird that this was worse?" He tries to hold back but lets out a small sob. 

Poe can't help it. He reaches over and puts his hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Ben, you were helpless this time, weren't you? Last time you didn't hesitate to save her. You knew you could"

"Yeah...I couldn't even feel her. The connection wouldn't work"

"I've never understood the Dyad thing you two have."

"She never explained it to you?"

"Ben, the only thing we ever talk about is the Resistance. She asks me questions about my personal life. She told me to go after Zorii"

"Oh, I thought..."

"You think she talks about you? No man, she doesn't talk to me about you and her, just jokingly, never serious stuff. Rey is very protective of you. And her marriage to you. She also knew I was angry at you for a long time." 

Ben feels the old tension and changes the subject. "Yeah, I can hear her thoughts, I can feel what she feels, she can with me too. But it's a choice. I usually don't just go barging in. Believe me, you don't want to hear every thought your woman has" 

"Oh hell no. Or yours either. I'd get my ass whooped every time a hot chick walks by"

"I never even think about that. Poe, she's the only one I want, I wish you would trust me with her. I'm not going to hurt her, not anymore"

Poe sits back, looks him in the eye

"Ben, I know that. How many times did you fight her as Kylo? I mean yeah, she can whoop your ass now but in the beginning, you clearly had the advantage. Besides, you had her in your torture room. She came out much better than me. You didn't even touch her"

Ben hangs his head. He'll never get away from Kylo Ren. 

"Yeah" Ben sighs. "Poe, I'm sorry. I'd tell you that wasn't me but I've got to face it."

"Hell. I was trying to avoid this. I wanted to kill you. Do you know what you did to me? You fucker. But fuck, I have to realize that led to you meeting her, killing Snoke, upending the First Order and ending everything they, you, them, whatever, were doing to the whole fucking galaxy. So yeah, my pleasure for letting you slice my fucking brain open, you asshole."

Ben stammers. "Ummm, thanks?" 

"You know how you can repay me? Take care of her.  _ Keep _ taking care of her. Fuck it all Ben, I loved her. I wanted her. You took my brain then you took  _ her.  _ Don't….and I swear to the Maker...do not hurt her again. Or I swear you'll pay."

Ben is looking down at the dejerik board, not sure what to say to all that. He nods then changes the subject again. 

"You and my Mom were close, weren't you? Thank you for taking care of her. For being the son I never was"

His eyes spill over and he turns to look away. 

Poe is trying to find the irony that the former Supreme Leader of the First Order is sitting here, crying for like the fifth time in ten minutes.

Poe can't stand it so he cracks a joke.

"Yeah, she fucking blasted me one time just for disagreeing with her. Knocked my ass out for a whole damn day"

Ben smiles, grateful for Poe's timing. 

"That sounds just like her"

They both laugh. Poe slaps him on the shoulder. He has to hide the fact that it hurt his hand. The man is a fucking brick wall.

"Listen man, this shit has gone on long enough without us saying it. I consider you a friend now."

Ben smiles again. 

"Yeah, I know. Me too."

"Stop with the jealousy, alright? I gave up on her years ago. I swear, she'd fucking sigh everytime she saw your ass. I thought to myself, well we're screwed. My number one soldier is in-fucking-love with the enemy. Then she comes dragging your ass back with her from Exegol. Hid you in a cave. I really knew it then. She high tailed it from Anja Kloss so fast with you so I kissed my chances good bye. Then I'll be damned if she don't get me back with my ex."

"Wait, you knew? You knew I was there?"

"Fuck yeah I knew. I'm the General. I know everything that goes on on Anja Kloss, I have to"

"You really are good Poe. I'm glad you took my mom's army. I never was a good leader"

"Hell no you weren't. You gave up your whole fucking army for a chick"

Ben smiles.

"Hell yes, I did and I don't regret it."

Poe pauses, "I couldn't have lost her to a better man, Ben. Your mom fought like hell for you. She said you'd come back. But I know she wasn't always a good Mom. She told me. I'm glad you gave it all up for Rey and those girls. You are a better parent than Han and Leia were"

Ben looks emotional again

"And if you cry on my fucking ship again, I'm telling your uncle to hug you and squish your ass"

Ben laughs out loud. 

Poe sticks his hand out. 

"Friends?"

Ben is shocked. He actually has never had a real friend before, other than Rey. 

He nods and shakes Poe's hand. Poe snatches it back.

"Damn!! Shit, I'm glad Driea showed up that day at your house. You would've broke every bone in my face. Fuck...." He shakes his hand, checking his fingers

"I don't know. I heard you can fight."

"I heard you kicked your buddy's asses on Exegol. Plus that man on Driea has a permanently bent nose"

"Well they all had it coming."

"Remind me not to mess with her. Dude my hand is numb now"

Ben smiles again "Oh no, she'd kick your ass herself, I'd just watch"

"That's the truth…."

"Ben!"

It's Jannah. 

Ben shoots up, running to the quarters where Rey is supposed to be sleeping. 

He hears her before he sees her. 

"Ben!"

He enters the room like the overprotective

husband he is, falling onto his knees at the feet of his wife, who is sobbing. He grips her face. 

"Rey, baby, I'm here….you're okay...I just went to tell everyone thank you...I'm sorry I shouldn't have left you."

Everyone has heard her shouting and has come running. They find her sobbing uncontrollably in the arms of Ben. 

Zorii sits next to her, Jannah at her other side. Next comes Rose, climbing onto the bed, rubbing her back from behind. Ben is still on his knees in front of her. 

He looks at Poe. "She needs water"

"I'll get it" says Finn. 

Ben cups her chin, forcing her to look at him. 

"I can't understand you sweetheart. Talk to me in the bond."

He closes his eyes and she does the same. His hand rests on her chest, at her heart. He breathes deeply and soon she follows. 

Zorii looks at Jannah and Rose, mouthing the words "How sweet, look at them…"

Ben opens his eyes. 

"Rothbert, Ty. She's scared for them."

"They're here." Says Finn, handing Ben a water bottle. 

"What????" Rey nearly hollers, causing Ben to jump. 

Ben's eyes go to Poe. 

"I'm sorry, in the midst of getting us the hell out of there and you sobbing on my shoulder, I forgot to tell you."

"You sobbed on his shoulder?" Zorii asks with a grin. 

_ "Not literally" _

"He was scared for his wife, give the guy a break," Poe says to Zorii.

"Where are they?" Rey whispers, starting to stand then stumbling. Ben catches her. He lifts her into his arms and motions for the three women to move off the bed. He sits and pulls her to him, curling her up like he always does. He reaches for the water bottle and holds it to her lips, cradling her head in his other hand. She drinks then settles her face into his neck. Ben wraps his arms around her entire body. 

The three women all sigh at the same time. 

Poe and Finn look at the women, back to each other and roll their eyes. 

"Sleep….Rey….see Ty later." Ben instructs her, ignoring everyone in the room. 

Rey pulls her head out from under Ben's chin and looks around. She's still quite exhausted. 

Rose steps forward. She had stayed on the Falcon during the rescue mission. This was the first she'd seen Rey since they escaped. 

"Can we say goodnight to her? Please Ben?"

"Of course"

Each friend took turns.

"Hey Rey. You're going to be alright." Poe takes her hand, squeezing it. 

"Hun, I'm here if you need me. Don't worry about Ty. We are taking care of him. He's not awake yet." says Zorii. She kisses Rey's palm. 

"I'm glad you are okay. We love you." says Rose, leaving quickly to return to Ty and Rothbert.

"Rey? You're okay. Don't worry. Ben is here. He'll take care of you."

This last comment came from Finn. Ben raises his eyes, making eye contact. 

"Thanks man." Finn says to him. "you know, for taking care of her. You are good to her. I….um…. I'm watching over Rothbert. He's beat pretty bad. But I've got him stable until we get him to the med bay"

"Is he gonna make it?" Ben asks. 

"I hope so." Finn responds then he's gone. 

Jannah will stay nearby, in case Ben and Rey need her. She ducks out of the room quickly. 

Ben sits and holds her until she stops shaking. He lies her on the bed and pulls her to him, face to face. He watches her for hours. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	49. Tenderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey deal with the aftermath.

After several hours, Ben wakes. She's asleep still, her back to him now. 

He thanks the force for saving her. He'll never forgive himself for what happened to her. 

_ How do I tell her? Should I? _

_ Is she dreaming? _

He doesn't like to impede on her thoughts unless she initiates it. He spent too long barging into her mind, uninvited. He loves to read her thoughts when he's making love to her, though. Or if they are in a precarious situation. But not when she's sleeping. 

He can't help it. He's worrying.

He touches her soft cheek, seeing the dream in her mind. 

She's playing with the girls. He hears them. 

"Mommy! Watch me dance!" says Driea. Driea is the imaginative one. Dancing, singing and drawing all the time. 

Ben misses her so much. I need them, he thinks. 

Leia is the jealous one, always serious. The fighter. 

"Mommy! Dont forget about me! Look at my saber! Watch this!"

Leia fights an imaginary enemy 

Ben prays she never really has to fight an enemy. She's his firecracker. 

She's got too much of me in her, he thinks. She's never afraid of him, even though she only stands as tall as his knee.

Rey tries so hard to pay equal attention to both of them. It's exhausting. 

He sees himself sneaking up. He roars and grabs both girls, running. He runs in a circle, both squealing.

He collapses in fake exhaustion as they climb all over him. 

Rey falls down next to him. He rolls over onto his wife and kisses her face. Both girls scream "Ewwww".

Rey laughs in her sleep

Ben is relieved that her dreams are peaceful and settles down next to her, gently laying his hand on her hip, her back to him. He buries his face in her long honey colored hair, breathing her in. He sleeps deeply from sheer exhaustion.

He wakes up during the night to find his wife on her back. She always stretches her arms above her wrapping one around her head. She is wearing a slip of a gown with thin straps. She kicks the sheet off and stirs, one breast is exposed. 

He's always been weak for her breasts. She says they are too small but to him they are magnificent.

Ben fights the urge to run his tongue around her nipple. She's probably still sore from the abuse she endured. The abuse that she doesn't remember. 

He goes to pull her gown back up and spots something. A bruise. Several in fact. Small and purple. Around her breast. 

Fingerprints. The bruises are fingerprints. He can't breathe. Hux left his fingerprints on HIS wife's breast. His heart takes off racing. He flashes back. Hears her scream. Watches helplessly as this evil personified grabs his wife's breasts, right in front of him. Both breasts.

Ben carefully lifts her top. Yes, both breasts are bruised. 

He fights the urge to rage, to destroy everything in the room. It's an old reaction, from another man. 

Hell, even Kylo would have killed Hux over this. Kylo loved Rey too. 

He knew it happened. He saw it happen. But for some reason, he thought maybe, just maybe, it didn't really happen. It was bad enough that he touched her. But he had squeezed so hard it left bruises. 

Ben and his wife had engaged in some rough love making. No, not love making, Ben thought.  _ Fucking _ . He'd never wanted to just use her. But she  _ liked _ it. He usually let her make that call. Sometimes he'd grab her hips too hard and leave bruises. He'd feel like shit later on.

But he'd never grabbed her breasts hard enough to bruise them. Her breasts are beautiful to him. He worshipped them, he never was rough with them. 

His blood is boiling. Seeing the bruises just brought it all back, made him realize it was real. 

Wait, Ben stopped. She said she didn't remember. She lied. 

How did he not pick up on that before? Why had she lied?

He is shaking. He needs to hold her, to take care of her. He wraps one arm around her and carefully slides her to him, pulling her head to his chest. 

She stirs, feeling the distress in him. The alarm. The anger. 

"Ben?" She says sleepily. She pulls her head out from under his chin. He is squeezing her, which doesn't take much for him to do being so strong. 

"Ow, not so tight" 

"Oh, sorry" 

"Ben what's wrong? Come here"

"Rey, I just....I thought...."

He sits on the edge of the bed and puts his head in his hands. She sits up and slides behind him, wrapping one leg on each side of him, laying her cheek on his back, running her hands on his biceps. 

"Talk to me"

_ I can't talk. I can't say it _

_ Then tell me this way _

_ You lied to me. I saw your body. I thought you didn't remember. Why did you lie? I don't need you to protect me. I was there. _

She speaks out loud

"I didn't lie to you. I didn't answer."

It hit him. She hadn't lied to him. 

"So you do remember?"

Now she can't talk. He turns to look at her. She nods and tears fall. He wraps one arm around her and pulls her around his body to his lap.

She cringes.

"Are your ribs sore?"

"Yeah, no, that's not it"

"Then what? What is it?"

She hates to do it. Hates to show him. He'd see it eventually, when they made love. And she desperately needs to make love to him. She needs him to make love to her. She needs her Ben to touch her body. To replace what HE had stolen from them.

No man had ever touched her but Ben. And now another had. It has to be fixed. 

She lays back and opens her legs.

On the inside of each thigh is a handprint. Two bruises shaped like handprints. 

Rage fills him. Rage like he hasn't felt in years.

He wants to yell but it would call attention to their quarters. 

Rey looks up at him, scared to speak, scared to ask. 

"What did he do? I don't remember Ben. I know SOMETHING happened but I don't remember"

He can't speak out loud

_ He...he...grabbed your thighs _

_ Then what Ben? I have to know. I'm not trying to upset you but I have to know. _

_ He pulled them apart because he was going to..... _

"Rape me? But he didn't, I would know if he had."

Ben didn't hear her. He was having a flashback. 

"He wanted me to see it. To torture me. He squeezed your thighs. Dug his fingers into your skin, forcing your legs apart. You were screaming. I was trying to get to you. I swear I was!! The drug...it was too strong"

His body is shaking. He begins to gasp for air.

She goes up onto her knees. She grabs his face. Looks him in the eye.

"I'm not mad at you Ben. It's not your fault."

"Poe blasted the door. Blew it up. He saved you when I couldn't. I owe him everything"

"Did you hear me? It's not your fault"

Ben removes her hands from his face and holds them in his. 

"You don't think anymore about how I feel. This isn't about me. I'll deal with my guilt. Any man, any husband would feel guilty. We are focusing on you right now. Not me"

"Ben?" She leans into him, pulling him down for a kiss.

He wraps her up in his arms again, gently. He knows what she wants.

"Please? I'm okay. Please?"

He kisses her. Not hard but softly. 

"Rey, no, it's not a good idea right now. Your body is healing."

She pulls away from him, looking down. 

"Are you sure that's it? Is that why you don't want me?"

This time he cups her face. She still won't look at him. 

He feels her across the bond. Rejection. She feels rejected by him. 

"What are you saying? You think I don't want you? 

"I don't know…." Her tears fell. She looks up into his eyes.

"Rey, look at me.  **_Look at me_ ** " he says, firmly.

"I am looking at you Ben"

"Look into my eyes, Rey Solo and listen to me, I love you. I want you, do you hear me? Here, feel"

He grabs both of her hands and places them on his chest.

"If you don't believe my words, connect to me, into our Dyad, feel what I'm feeling. I've NEVER lied to you, have I? Even when we were enemies, I never lied to you, feel me"

He pushes her hands hard into his chest.

She closes her eyes and dives into his soul, like a swimmer dives into the ocean.

Love, desire, heat, passion, deep lust. 

All for her. 

She falls into his arms and sobs.

"I told you. I told you Rey. I love you. I want you. My body needs you. I love your body, I want it everyday. Do you feel it?"

"Yes Ben"

"Nothing could change that, okay? You are still mine"

"I want to be yours. I want you to possess me."

He lifts her head and kisses her tears.

"If you need me to make love to you, I will. I don't want to hurt you."

She blinks and looks into his eyes

"I need you to replace his horrible hands with yours. I feel his hands Ben. It's like, burned into my skin. It's not your touch I feel. It's his evil touch on me. It's like he tried to claim me as his"

_ I'm going to rip every limb off of him. He had tried to claim her.  _

_ Oh  _ **_fuck_ ** _ no.  _

He nods at her request and runs his hands into her hair, kissing her deeply, possessively.

"You are still mine" he repeats "he'll never touch you again, I promise you that Rey. I promise you"

He lays her back slowly, going deep into their Dyad, connecting to her thoughts and her emotions. He wants to feel what she is feeling so he doesn't push her too far. 

_ This is about her, Solo, not you. Don't be selfish. _

"What do you want Rey? Tell me what to do. You are in charge. I'll stop whenever you want"

"Kiss me. Don't stop. Touch me. All over"

He gently kisses her. She separates his lips with her tongue, moving slowly into his mouth. He groans. 

_ I won't lose control Rey. I promise. _

_ But if I want you to…. _

_ I'll do whatever you want baby….but I won't be rough... I won't hurt you. _

_ Touch me Ben….Please…. _

He runs his hand down the side of her body, feeling every inch of her, still letting her kiss him. Her hands are on his back, slowly moving all over.

_ I love your back Ben. I always have.  _

He groans again. This is not easy. He is already hard. Her gown doesn't hide much. 

_ Take it off Ben, let me feel you.  _

He slides the gown up, still kissing her. He has to stop to pull it over her head. He tried very hard not to look at her breasts but he does. 

She is bruised all over. Her ribs and stomach are stained with bruises. 

His rage begins to build. 

"No Ben, not now" 

_ Rey, oh, Rey. _

"I'm okay"

_ Don't lie to me _

"Kiss me all over, please Ben"

He has to close his eyes and push away everything but her. He leans down and kisses her breasts, slowly, tenderly, gently moving over her ribs and her belly. He pushes away the anger, just for now. She runs her hands up into his hair. She can't speak anymore.

_ Touch my thighs. Kiss them, help me heal. Please.  _

He travels down and kisses her thighs, his eyes closed, trying desperately to shut out the memory.

_ Kiss me there too, Ben. I love it when you do.  _

He kisses her mound and labia gently and then slides his tongue in between. He slowly begins to forget the horror they had endured. Maybe he needs this as much as she does. She tastes amazing. 

He reaches for her in his mind, feeling her emotions. 

She is pushing it away too. She is relaxing into him, which was what he wanted. She is his. 

His tongue laps around her clit then down and inside and back up again. She roughly pulls and twists on his hair, gasping and writhing under him, begging him not to stop. Wetness pours from her and he bathes in it, forgetting everything but her. She is his goddess and he worships her with his tongue. 

She reaches her climax, gasping and moaning his name. He feels her let go completely, shuddering and trembling, pulling him back up by his hair. 

He works his way back up her body and kisses her desperately, needing her. 

_ Oh Ben, that was amazing….hold me a second...I need you too….just hold me a second….I love you….  _

He wraps her up in his body, kissing her sweat dampened forehead, stroking her back. He feels her grow heavier against his chest, her breath deepening.

She is sleeping. She lets out a peaceful sigh against his neck.

He knows he won't make love to her that night but she feels more at peace and that is all that matters. 

He wants to sleep but he is afraid to close his eyes, afraid of what he'll see in his dreams.

Fear becomes anger again. There will be hell to pay. Absolute hell is coming to his enemy.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	50. Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey reminsce about their past, good and bad and continue to heal.

He wakes up to her whimpering in her sleep. 

"Ben? Ben!"

Her eyes are screwed tightly shut and she is thrashing her head wildly, looking for him. 

Instantly he is over her, his hand on her cheek, speaking to her.

"Rey! Rey…..baby, wake up. Rey, come on baby…."

He has to shake her awake.

Her eyes fly open, wide, searching. She sits straight up, pulling at him yet pushing him away at the same time.

"Stop! Where's Ben? Ben! Who are you? Ben!"

He grasps her face with both hands, coming eye to eye with her. 

"Hey. It's me. It's Ben. I'm here Rey. I'm Ben"

Recognition comes over her face. Then tears. She pushes herself into him, digging at his bare skin with her fingers.

"Ben……"

"Shhhhh…..I'm here"

"I couldn't find you….I couldn't feel you….I can't remember the last time I couldn't feel you...it was terrible...I wanted to be sick"

He literally is on top of her but still wants her closer. He curls her into a ball and pulls her under him, grabbing the blanket and hauling it over them, making a cave just for them. He speaks through the Bond, trying to calm her.

_ I'm here….I'm here _

_ I know….. don't leave me…... _

_ Never….do you hear me? Never…. _

She sighs, her body heavy again in his arms, relaxing herself, straightening her legs and cuddling against him as much as she can. Her head against his chest, her hands pressed there too. He can feel her breathing against his skin. Kriff, he loves her so much it scares the absolute shit out of him. 

_ I heard that. I love you too. I think I've always felt you, even when I was small and alone on Jakku. I think you were the reason I survived and fought. I thought it was my parents, but it was you, Ben. It was always you.  _

He pulls her under his chin, burying his nose in her hair.

_ If I hadn't been so fucking stupid I could've saved you from that hellhole….. _

She lifts her head up to kiss his neck, running her hand up into his hair.

_ I know you would have. But I'm here now.  _

He moans at the feeling of her lips on his skin. How quickly they switch caring over each other. One second he is taking care of her, then she takes care of him. 

_ This is what we are Ben. We take care of each other. We always have. Well except for when we tried to kill each other.  _

She giggles and he instinctively tickles her ribs. She laughs out loud, biting his nipple. 

"Ow!!" He sinks down her body, determined to bite her back in the same spot. As soon as he gets there he grabs her nipple through her gown and starts to bite down but quickly stops, remembering her bruises. He instead kisses her breasts lovingly. 

Immediately he's hard. 

"Rey, you better get away because I don't want to hurt you"

Rey throws the blanket off and rolls her Knight over onto his back. She straddles him and quickly impales herself on him. He almost shouts. She does shout. She is not gentle in her love making. She needs him. She needs him NOW. 

"Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben!!" she shouts, riding him roughly.

He watches her take her anger out on his body. Force she is so fucking sexy, wild and unabandoned on top of him. Her head is arched back, her hands on his stomach, digging her nails into him. She is getting too loud. He pulls her down to smother her screams with his kiss. His other hand slides between them and he finds that spot that drives her over the edge. He maintains self control until he feels the beginnings of her orgasm. Then he can't be still as he thrusts up into her. This is what he needed. Her heat, her wetness. Her love. Her body had been his medicine during a dark time in his life. Hell, she had been his medicine since Takodana, when he first laid eyes on her. How many nights had he fantasized this? Her on top of him, riding him like a wild animal? 

They climax together, sweat pouring, gasping, kissing violently. Kissing was the only way to keep from screaming. They had to remember the walls are thin and they aren't alone. 

He can't talk, so overcome with her as he is.

_ Better?  _

_ Oh yes, very much so, Mr Solo. _

_ I had to kiss you to keep you quiet, wild woman. _

_ Yeah, sorry. But not really….. _

She wiggles a bit on top of him, wrapping her arms around his chest. 

"You feel so happy now. Are you okay Rey?" he whispers, pulling her damp hair off of her face. He squeezes her tightly, hearing an umph sound come from her. 

"I'm starving" she responds. He smiled. He knew that meant she was getting better. Rey was either starving or not eating. There was no in between with her. She ate when she was happy and didn't eat when she wasn't. Life on Jakku had spurred terrible eating habits. She could go two days without eating. He'd spent the past several years trying to fix that. 

Even when he was Kylo Ren he'd feel her diminishment from lack of food.

_ You need to eat Rey. When's the last time you ate? _

_ Get out of my head Ren. Mind your business. _

_ Eat, Rey….. _

She'd throw up her walls and be gone from him. He'd be so angry that she wouldn't take better care of herself. 

He remembered a time after they were finally together. She had no reason not to eat. They had Leia's money, they weren't broke. She was angry with him over something he'd said. She had pouted for days. He had apologized incessantly and now they were at a stand off. She was more upset than angry at this point and was not eating. He seriously considered force feeding her.

_ Don't...even...think...about...it...Solo _

_ You drive me crazy. Just eat, dammit. _

_ I'm not hungry _

"Bullshit!! I can feel you, remember? I'm your Dyad! You are exhausted!"

"I'm exhausted because you are so DIFFICULT!!"

"I'm difficult?? I'm not the one refusing to eat! Force woman you drive me CRAZY!"

"WELL YOU WANTED ME, BEN!"

He came storming at her. She didn't even flinch. He placed his hands on both sides of her face. He spoke sternly but in a whisper.

"I did want you. More than any man has ever wanted any woman. I wanted you so bad I hunted you across the stars, remember? Don't do this, please? Eat something. I'll go get you whatever. I love you, you stubborn ass"

He smiled at the memory only because she tried to get him in bed and he turned her down, telling her he'd give her ten orgasms if she'd eat first. She did and he gave her orgasms in every way possible until she passed out from exhaustion. 

He kisses the top of her head. She is his everything and he is so content, just holding her. But when hunger calls…..

"I'm glad to hear you are hungry, dear but you have to get off of me before I can feed you"

"Ugh, I'm all sweaty Ben I'll shower first then eat. If I go out there like this, they'll know what we've been doing"

"Hell, you're my wife, they'll know that anyways. Especially if they heard you scream my name. I stifled the last few screams but a couple got out"

She throws her pillow at him. 

"You are so arrogant! You know you hope they heard me!"

He laughs loudly "Yup, sure do." Then he runs out of the room to keep from getting hit by another flying object. 

He runs right into Finn. 

"Oops, sorry, I wasn't looking" 

"Damn it dude, pay attention"

Ben moves out of the way quickly. Finn is still being a complete dick. He lets it go. He has to fetch something for Rey to eat. 

He finds Jannah in the galley. 

"Hey! It's about time you two woke up. How is she? I was worrying all night. I wanted to check on her but I left you two alone. I thought I heard you fighting?"

Ben turns red and looks down. He is actually embarrassed that Jannah heard their "fighting". He didn't think about the women hearing. 

Then he looks up at Jannah and sees the smirk on her face. She knows the truth.

"Ben, it's okay. It's sweet. You two are so cute. Okay, that's weird, calling you cute"

He scrambles to change the subject.

"Jannah, about Finn….I don't know what to do…. I used to hate the guy and he obviously hates me but he helped save her and now how can I hate him? But he's being a dick. Your man is being a dick"

"Yeah, I'm working on that. Here, take this to Rey. You want one?" 

She shoves a sandwich at him. He tells Jannah that he'll fix his own. She's done enough.

He fills a glass with water and grabs a piece of fruit for Rey. 

He returns to find her showered. She is wearing his shirt. The one from Exegol. It is her shirt now. It completely swallows her. He smiles. She's so beautiful.

She eats quickly, her knees drawn up to her chest, the shirt stretched out over her knees. She watches him watch her. 

_ I'm fine. _

_ I don't believe you. Remember, I know the aftereffects of torture Rey. It's not over that fast.  _

_ But I will be okay. You'll take care of me. Besides, I've been tortured before.  _

"I didn't torture you, now stop it. You know I couldn't. Not after I saw you"

She has a mouthful of food but talks anyways "I'm sorry. You know I joke when I'm anxious"

He doesn't like being reminded of it. He changes the subject. 

"I need to go see Poe, find out where we are. We should be home soon"

_ That's not home Ben. Don't call it that.  _

"Well that's where Dreia and Leia are, so it's home for now"

The mention of their children makes her shoulders sag. 

"I hope they are okay. I hate leaving them. Next time you stay with them"

"No Rey, you are not going out without me. You stay, I'll go"

"You aren't going without me either"

They stare at each other, feeling the weight of parenthood vs. the fear of being apart. 

He walks over and kisses her head.

"Everyone is worried about you. Especially Finn. He's acting an ass. Go let him see you are okay"

"I'll talk to him"

"No Rey, it's between me and him. You've tried. I'll talk with him"

She stands and takes his face in her hands.

"I'm so unbelievably proud of you for trying. I was so glad to see you and Poe talking. He doesn't fake anything. I could tell you and him made amends. I love you both for it. Thank you"

"But you still love me more, right?" he winks at her to show he was joking. 

"I think what I just did to your body should prove that"

He growls at the memory, lifting her shirt and squeezing her ass. 

"Damn woman, put panties on. Are you trying to kill me? I've got shit to do around here. I'm already gonna get bitched at by Poe"

He lets her go and turns to leave and feels a slap on his own ass. She giggles and runs into the refresher in case he retaliates.

He shook his head. 

_ Damn I love that woman. Force, thank you that she's safe. _

He feels his anger rise up again and goes to find Poe. It is time to plot the death of Armitage Hux and Poe is as pissed as he is. 

He enters his father's cockpit and sits in the copilot chair. 

"Well it's about damn time. Finn's pissed cause he hasn't slept. He took your shift cause I asked him to"

Before Ben could thank him, Poe kept talking.

"She alright?"

"No, but yeah. For now. She says she is. She does remember it."

"Damn. What did she say?"

"I don't think she wants me to tell anyone yet."

Poe sighs, frustrated. He tries to respect her and Ben but it is weird having to go through Ben to find out about her. He lets it go. 

"Ben, we will find him. I swear we will."

"Oh yeah, we will."

"I'll hold his ass down and you can kill him."

"I don't think I'll need help but thanks anyways"

They are silent. Ben sighs.

"I know I told you last night but thanks again. I don't know what would've happened…"

"Don't you cry again!"

Ben smiles.

Rey appears in the doorway.

"Aww, look at you two."

Poe jumps up and goes to Rey, first grabbing her then letting her go, looking worried.

"You can hug me Poe, I'm not hurting."

"You alright? You look better. You alright?"

"Yes."

Finn rushes up behind Rey, turning her and pulling her into a hug. 

"You alright?"

"Okay guys, quit smothering me. I gotta fly this damn ship, let me by."

Poe stops her from sitting. 

"Ben can do it."

Ben looks up at his wife. 

"It's your call babe, whatever you want me to do" he says, reaching out to rub her leg. 

Poe and Finn, still not used to seeing them together, touching and using pet names, shift uncomfortably. Ben and Rey speak silently, staring at each other. 

_ I need to Ben, I'll feel, normal….. _

_ You sure?  _

_ Yes. _

"Alright, enough with the silent talking. We are right here" Poe jokes. 

"Oh sorry, we don't realize we are doing it. It just comes…. natural" Rey says, still staring at her husband, not realizing she is rubbing his arm. 

"Okay, that's enough PDA for me….where's my fiance?" Poe speaks loudly.

Rey looks up at Poe. 

"Jannah said she still hasn't come out of your quarters, go check on her."

"Yeah, I'll do that" he hurries off.

Finn just rolls his eyes and walks off. 

Ben and Rey look at each other and suddenly started laughing.

"I have to admit, it's fun making them uncomfortable" Rey says, wiping her eyes from the tears that formed from laughter. 

"I told you" Ben replies, happy to see Rey acting like her old self.

She settles into the pilot's seat and is serious. 

"Ben, you need to fly the Falcon. It's your ship."

"It's not mine, it's Chewie's. And Poe's. And hell, even Finn's. And yours too."

"You know what I mean" she says, rechecking the coordinates as she prepares to hyperjump. She reaches out and takes his hand as blue light engulfs the cockpit. 

"I will but not yet, now, let's go get our girls."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	51. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew summaries would be so HARD? I can't summarize this one.....

  
  
  


They arrive back on Anja Kloss. Ben and Rey can't wait to see the girls. It's been a long three weeks. They exit the ship hand in hand, laughing.

General Connix meets them at the Falcon.

Her eyes are red rimmed and she is pale, shaking all over.

"Ben, Rey, I need to talk to you."

"You can tell me", says Poe "They want to see their children. You guys go on. Tell them Uncle Poe and Aunt Zorii will be by later." 

Ben and Rey run past Kay. 

"That's it"

They turn slowly, looking at her tear steamed face.

"What's it?" says Ben, the hairs on his neck standing straight up.

Connix takes a breath. 

"WHAT'S IT CONNIX?!?!?"

"Ben, we can't find them"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND THEM!!"

"They were with Aja. She took them out to run. She turned her back and when she turned back, they were gone." 

The entire crew takes off running to the base, Bens long legs leaving them behind.

Rey stops. She uses her force energy to feel for them. If they are nearby her maternal connection will find them.

Nothing. A sob hits her and Jannah wraps one arm around her shoulder. 

A man from the base runs up to Ben, panting. He can't talk. His eyes are huge. 

"WHAT?? WHAT IS IT??" Ben screams at him.

"SIR, OUR RADARS JUST SPOTTED A SHIP LEAVING THE PLANET"

"WHAT SHIP?? WHOSE SHIP??"

"It wasn't one of ours."

Connix looks at Ben and cries.

"I'm so sorry, they're gone."

Rey comes up just in time to hear this.

She screams. She already knew they were gone but now she hears it. 

She faints, Finn catching her. 

Ben lets out a roar that scares everyone around him.

"FIND IT!!!! FIND IT NOW!!!"

Poe is running back to the Falcon, Zorii right behind him. "C'mon Ben let's go!" 

Finn is holding Rey.

Ben turns to him.

"Take care of her Finn, TAKE CARE OF HER YOU HEAR ME???"

"Yes, I will Ben."

Ben walks over and cups her face.

"I'll find them baby. I swear I'll find them. I'll burn it all down but I'll find them. I promise. I swear to you."

He kisses her head and her mouth, whispering to her.

"Go Finn. Take care of her, please. She's been through hell already." 

"I will Ben. I swear I will."

"Ben we have to go, now!!"

They run to the Falcon.

Within minutes, Finn runs up the ramp.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY WITH HER!!!!"

"I know Ben but you need a gunner and you are in no shape to fly or fight. Jannah and Rose are with her. They'll take care of her! You need me!"

"Rey needs  _ you _ Finn!!"

" _ You _ need me Ben!! The girls need me!!

Poe says "He has a point, Ben"

"THEN COME ON!!"

They receive the direction that the ship was seen flying in. Poe takes off, Chewie co piloting. 

Ben paces back and forth. Finn watches. 

"Ben, calm down"

"Calm down!!! No!!! I'll kill him. I'll kill him slowly. He better not. He better not hurt them Finn!!!"

Ben begins to gasp and turn even paler.

"Breathe Ben."

Finn walks up and grabs Ben, helping him sit down before he passes out.

Finn tells him, "We will find them. Connect to them. You can talk to them"

"I can't! Only Rey can connect to them because of the maternal link! I haven't ever been able to talk to them through the Force. I'm not even sure if they are strong enough in the force yet to talk to Rey! Leia might be. She's further along in her training"

"Leia?" He asks, puzzled

"Leiliana. I call her Leia"

"Ohhh. Yeah she's definitely little Leia" He grins like the proud uncle he is. 

"She is Finn, she is" and the tears start. 

Finn grabs Ben and says "No. Stay strong. Like you said, she's Leia. And Driea is definitely her mom made over. They are strong girls. They have the Solo-Skywalker DNA. Try to sense them Ben. Just try."

Ben calms his fear. Fear has to go. Anger has to go. He concentrates. Harder than he ever has. He focuses on them. He pictures their identical beautiful faces. They are so pretty, he thinks. He thinks of how they smell, how they feel in his arms as he carries them. 

He feels for them. They are always there, in his soul. Like a thin rope. He never has had to really pull on that rope. So he does, pulling it, following it. 

He gasps and Finn jumps. 

There they are. 

He sees them. They are afraid but they are okay. Leia is calming her sister, like she always does.

"It's okay Dreia, Papa will find us. Papa will save us"

_ Yes I will baby. I'm coming. Papa's coming.  _

Leia looks right at him, right into his eyes. She knows. 

Ben falls to the floor, exhausted. 

"Did you find them? Did you see them?"

He stands straight up, pushing through his fatigue. 

"Yes"

He turns and walks into his father's cockpit, eyes ablaze. 

His girls are waiting for him. 

"I know where they are, we are going the wrong way."

Poe jumps up from the pilots seat.

"Then here, find them."

Ben looks down at his father's seat. Suddenly, it's like Han is there, with him. 

_ Dad...I don't know if I can do this…. _

_ You can, son. You can.  _

_ I miss you Dad. I miss you so fucking much. I need you right now. I don't know if you are who I hear in my head or if it's just a memory of you.  _

Suddenly the music player starts playing. 

The one no one else knew about but Ben and Han. 

Chewie doesn't even know about it. Han installed it for Ben. But just like that, it started playing. Poe and Finn jump. 

"What the hell?" Poe shouts. "The falcon has a radio??"

Ben smiles and switches it off. 

"Yeah"

_ Thanks Dad. I get the message. Be with me, okay? _

_ I'm right here, kid. Go get my girls.  _

_ You're the only other man that can call them that.  _

Then he reaches, pushing buttons and pulling levers like he just flew it yesterday. He spins them around. 

Poe straps into the seat behind him, Finn in the seat behind Chewie.

Poe looks at Finn and nods at Ben, eyebrows raised, impressed that Ben can fly it so easily. 

After all, it is Ben's ship. 

He maneuvers into place and sets it to hyperjump.

"Chewie?" He calls out to his father's copilot

Chewie waits for the words with a huge grin. He can't help it. He's waited for this moment since this man next to him was born. 

"Punch it"

~*~

Rey wakes, gasping and clamoring to get up. 

"Ben!!"

Jannah pushes her down, not wanting her to harm herself, looking at Rose for help. 

"GET OFF OF ME!!"

"Rey….it's Jannah…."

"GET OFF!!"

"Let her up Jannah she's liable to force kick your ass if you don't" Rose points out.

Jannah jumps back, suddenly reminded of her friend's abilities. 

Rey is up, wide eyed, panting. She tries to reach for her saber but fortunately Rose has it. 

"I told you. She's likely to kill all of us"

Rose was always the unlikely brave one of the trio. 

She walks over to her friend, staring her in the eye.

"Rey, hun, sit down" she says calmly.

"No!!!!! Where are they? Where's Ben??"

Rose takes Rey by the face and looks her in the eyes. 

"Listen to me Rey. If you will sit down, I'll tell you. I need you to breathe. Breathe with me, okay?"

Rey takes deep breaths with Rose while being slowly pushed down to the bed. 

Jannah and Rose exchange looks. 

"Damn", Jannah whispers.

Rose is bending over Rey, whispering to her. 

"Rey, what do you remember?"

She thinks, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Landing the falcon…."

"Kaydel…."

"Ben hollered…"

Her eyes go wide and she turns very pale. She begins to hyperventilate.

"No!!!! No….no….no….Rose…..noooo…."

Jannah sits down in front of her, taking her shaking hands. 

"Breathe Rey….."

"Ben?"

"He's gone Rey. Remember?" 

Her shoulders begin to shake. 

"He left without me?"

Jannah puts her hand on Rey's cheek. 

"He loves you so much Rey. He had to go. You know that, right? He couldn't take another chance with your life."

She goes into another tailspin, her breath catching in deep gasps, sweat pouring down her face. 

"She's having a panic attack Jannah! Shit, I don't want to knock her out. That's what's going to happen. We have to help her!"

Jannah moves as Rose sits next to Rey on the bed. 

"Rey….Rey .. look at me….look at me…"

Rey's eyes are wild as she tries to focus on Rose's face. 

"Feel the force Rey...I'm no Jedi or force sensitive but I've seen you. I know you. Plus Finn is force sensitive and when I was with him I saw him do it. Connect to the force. Your babies are force sensitive. Reach out for them. Maybe you can communicate with them? You said Luke and Leia talk to you? Connect with them. They will all help you. You said all the Jedi connected with you to defeat the emperor? They will again. They care about you and what's more important than your love for your children? I can't help you but I can sit with you."

"I need water." Rey whispers. 

Jannah runs to the sink and fills a glass. Rey gulps it. 

"What can we do Rey?" Jannah asks. 

"Just stay. Don't leave me."

"Not on your life sweetie." She sits on the other side of her. 

"I need the bed. I need space."

They both jump up. 

Rey sits, crossing her legs. She closes her eyes and takes several breaths. 

"Be with me….Driea…. Leiliana….Be with me. Leia, be with me….Luke….I need you...Be with me"

As she continues to connect, she begins to levitate. Jannah grabs Rose's hand. She looks at Rose in pure shock. Rose nods, reassuring her this is good. 

"Leia…."

_ I'm here Rey….. _

They are back in the forest. Rey falls into her mother in law's arms. Leia sits down on the ground, pulling Rey to her, like a mother does. 

_ Leia...I need you! My babies!! And now Ben is gone after them! What if…. _

Leia lays the tips of her fingers on Rey's mouth. 

_ No, sweet Rey. Don't say it. I'm with them just as I'm with him just as I'm with you.  _

A man's voice.  _ Rey? _

_ Luke!!! Oh Luke!!  _

Luke squats down, taking Rey's hand. 

_ They are okay Rey. I was with them. They are strong, like the women before them. Strong in the force too.  _

_ Luke, they're so beautiful…. _

_ Yes they are. Precious. That Driea, she has Padme' in her. You too.  _

_ Rey?  _ A voice speaks…..

A man and woman appear. The man is a force ghost. The woman isn't but she's holding his hand. 

The man and woman also kneel down. They all see her panic. 

_ You're Anakin and Padme', aren't you? _

_ Yes, and we heard your call.  _

_ My babies….Ben…. _

Anakin speaks

_ We are with you Rey. And your family. We are your family too. We are with you and Ben and our great granddaughters. _

Padme' holds her face in her hands.

_ You can do this. We will help you.  _

Leia speaks.

_ Close your eyes Rey, feel them. Do you feel them? _

_ I think so Leia….wait…..there they are. My precious babies. Mama's here….be brave. Papa is coming.  _

A deeper voice, her balm. Her water. Her life. 

_ Rey? Are you okay my sweet love? _

_ Ben? Yes. Your mom is here. And your grandparents.  _

_ I'll bring them back to you Rey. I promise. I swear it.  _

_ I know you will, my love.  _

Their eyes. She sees them. Dark and like the chocolate they so love. So brave, so strong. They see her. 

She opens her eyes and floats down to the bed. Jannah and Rose watch, wide eyed. 

"I know where they are"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  



	52. Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren has NOTHING on Enraged Papa Ben....

"Um...Ben?" Poe asks nervously. "Would you care to enlighten us to where we are headed?"

Ben looks  _ intense,  _ hence Poe's nervousness. Everyone had been afraid to speak, or even breathe. Ben has gone from shaking and crying to looking very much like his old persona, Kylo Ren. 

Pissed.

Pissed is an understatement. 

No one knows what to do with this Ben. The only one who did, Rey, isn't here. 

Zorii is sitting behind Ben and glances at Poe. Ben didn't seem to even hear Poe's question. 

Zorii reaches over Ben's seat and tentatively places her hand on Ben's shoulder. Ben flinches. 

Zorii speaks calmly. "Ben, honey, you okay?"

"No." He growls. 

"Ben," she continues to speak very low. "We need a plan. We're we going?"

"I don't know yet. I'm following their signatures in the force."

"And….this is reliable?" Poe asks. 

Ben glances back at Poe. Chewie nods. He trusts the force. He's seen enough in his life to know.

"Poe, it's all I know to do, okay?" Ben says with a sigh. 

"Okay big guy. But at some point when you know more, talk to us, okay?" 

Ben nods. 

"C'mon Poe, let's let him concentrate, okay?"

Poe leans forward to Chewie. "You take care of big guy here, alright Chewie?"

Ben smiles just a bit. He's not used to people caring about him. Except for Rey, of course. 

Rey…..

Ben reaches through their bond. 

_ Babe? You okay? _

_ No…… _

_ Me neither…. _

_ Where are you? _

_ I felt them. I'm following it.  _

_ You saw them? Are they okay? Ben what did you see? Tell me! _

_ I saw a glimpse. I'm trying hard to grab it again. They looked good. Afraid but good.  _

_ My babies….they are scared. Ben….. _

_ I know babe…..I'm hurrying….. _

_ Hurry faster Ben…. _

_ I can't talk to you and reach for them…. _

Rey severs their bond immediately and damn, if it doesn't hurt. He understands though.

"Chewie…."

<We'll find them Ben. We will. And there will be hell to pay>

"Is this how they felt when I disappeared?"

<I've never seen them so afraid. Don't think about that right now Ben>

Ben feels like crying again but he won't. He has to focus on the girls.

_ Driea? Leiliana? Do you hear me? _

He feels them but he can't hear them. Almost...but not quite. 

"Chewie. Swap with me."

Chewie and Ben swap seats so Ben can focus harder. 

_ Driea? Can you hear me? Leia? _

He sees them, barely. 

_ Reach out. Like I taught you. Remember? Focus. Do you feel me? Remember that day? Papa hid. You found me. Remember? Like that. Focus. Try to push away your fear, okay? Do you feel me? _

_ Papa? _

Ben lets out a sob. 

_ That's it, baby girl. Talk to me. Not out loud. Inside. I love you.  _

_ Papa? Where are you? It's so hot here. _

_ I'm coming. I'm coming. I'll find you. I'll always find you. I want you to reach out for Mama. Can you feel Mama?  _

_ Papa, Nana's here. I see her.  _

Ben sobs again. He reaches for his mother. 

_ Thank you, Mom. Stay with them Mama, please.  _

_ I'm here Benny. I'm with you too.  _

_ Driea? Baby are you able to hear me too?  _

_ Yes Papa.  _

_ Try to reach for your Mama. Don't talk out loud to Nana, okay? I love you.  _

Ben lets go, exhausted. That took a lot of focusing and he has to reserve his strength. 

~*~

Hours pass, the further they fly into the galaxy, things begin to come together. 

_ Ben…..I know where they are…. _

_ I think I do too…..what are you feeling? _

_ Mustafar….. _

_ Me too…… _

_ Hux knows about Mustafar? _

_ No, but the Knight does…. _

Rey's alarm goes way up. She starts shaking. 

_ Rey! Try to breathe baby….. _

_ She's luring  _ **_you_ ** _ there Ben. She wants  _ **_you._ **

_ She wants all three of us….. _

Ben immediately appears to Rey, because he knows what will happen. 

Rey is heaving into a bucket that Rose is holding. Ben sits behind her. Rose can't see him of course so she's quite shocked when Rey's hair moves back by itself. 

"Rey! What's happening??"

She is gasping. "Ben….is…..here"

_ Tell her to go. I'll take care of you for a few minutes.  _

_ Go back to the cockpit Ben! _

_ Rey, Chewie and Poe are there. It's okay. They have the coordinates.  _

She vomits again, Ben holds her. They both are shaking. She turns into his chest and he pulls her into his lap. She sobs and he cries silently with her. 

_ Where's Rose and Jannah? _

_ Nearby….. _

_ I have to go now….I'm losing too much energy….. _

_ I love you….. _

_ I love you too….. _

He's back on the Falcon, sitting at the dejerik board. He's exhausted. 

Mustafar. That's where they are. That terrifying place. He's thanking the force that he can connect to them because if he couldn't, he'd lose his mind even more that they were terrified. 

They are so brave. 

He is so proud. 

He stumbles his way back to the cockpit where Poe doesn't even hesitate to jump from the pilot's seat. 

"Any clearer indication of where we are headed?"

"Mustafar"

"Oh great. Just the most terrifying place in the galaxy."

~*~

"Rey!! No Rey!! Stop!!"

Rey stops and spins, saber lit. 

"Either turn around and walk away or come with me. But I'm going. I'll hurt whoever tries to stop me."

Jannah and Rose freeze. 

Rose whispers "But Ben said….."

"I don't care what Ben said. I'm going."

"Well then, so am I." Rose responds. 

"Me too" Jannah adds. 

"Then get your asses in gear, ladies"

They board the small ship, equipped to fly long periods at hyperspace. 

"One condition. We fly. You rest. You've been through enough." Rose insists. 

"Fair enough." Rey responds, strapping in. 

"Set coordinates to Mustafar."

Rose sighs. 

"Oh great, just the most terrifying place in the galaxy."

~*~

Ben doesn't hesitate. He runs off of the falcon like the madman he truly has become in the last several hours. 

_ Papa!! _

_ I'm coming baby. Stay calm. Don't talk to me out loud.  _

He hears his mother's voice. 

_ I'm here Ben. I'm here.  _

_ Mama, stay with them.  _

_ Of course. _

And then Rey….

_ Ben!  _

_ I'm here Rey. I'm going to find them. _

It's too many voices. His daughters, his mother, his wife. He has to push some out. He's not used to so many at once. No way in hell it's his girls though. He blocks himself off from the two women. 

Poe, Finn and Zorii run behind him. 

"Ben, wait for us!! It's too dangerous, wait!!"

He ignores them. 

~*~

"Lightspeed jump. Now." Rey instructs. 

"But Rey….."

"NOW!!! Ben's already there!! He needs me!!"

Rose punches a button and they all are thrown backwards, waves of nausea hitting them. 

"Whoa…." Jannah says. "Intense"

"Did you tell him?" Rose asks. 

"No." Rey says, a tone to her voice that Rose has never heard. But Jannah has. 

"That's the warrior I met." Jannah says to Rose, whispering. 

"I can hear you." Rey says. 

Her teeth are bared and she's breathing heavy. The fire in her eyes is frankly, terrifying. 

"Somebody fucked with the wrong one." Rose whispers. 

"Ain't that the truth." Jannah whispers back. 

~*~

Ben zeroes in on the castle. They haven't encountered anyone, or anything trying to stop them.

Ben stops, chest heaving, heart pounding. 

"Kriff, it's fucking hot." Poe says, catching up to him. 

"Yeah, lava tends to be that way." Ben growls. 

"There's no one here. No one trying to stop us." Finn says, heaving from the run in this god-forsaken place. 

Finn glances at Ben. He's seen him this mad before. On Starkiller. 

"They knew I would come. It's what they wanted. They used my daughters to lure me here. That's why no one has stopped us. They want me."

"They?" Zorii asks. 

"Hux and Gensha"

"She's here?" Poe asks. 

"Yes, she took them. Not Hux."

"Why?" Finn asks. 

"To turn them into Knights. The rest are dead. She wants to raise them to be Knights. No doubt there's more kids. Force sensitives. But who better than the offspring of the last Jedi? The ancestors of Vader?" 

"Oh fuck Ben."

"It won't happen, let's go."

They run into the castle. Fortunately, Ben's familiar with it, having been here numerous times. 

Just for a moment, Ben releases his connection to the girls and feels for Gensha. Rey is desperately trying to tear down the wall he's constructed to keep her out. He pushes her further away. 

~*~

Rey tears herself from the seat.

_ Ben!!! What are you doing?? Let me in!! _

She gasps, breathing heavy. She stumbles to her knees, sweat pouring. 

Jannah hears her fall and comes running. 

"Rey?? Are you okay??"

"He's blocked me out. Why?? I need to know what's happening!!"

Jannah goes to the floor next to her friend.

"Trust him. Trust him, Rey."

"How dare he keep me from seeing what's happening!!"

"Rey, listen. You know he loves them. I know he has good reason. Trust him. Come on Rey, come back to the cockpit. We need you to tell us what to do."

Rey nods and stands, shaking. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	53. Mustafar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See my previous summary for the last chapter....still true.....

Ben rushes in, eyes on fire. Where he was afraid, now his anger keens, like a waterfall after a flood. 

He is expecting a hostile attack but there's nothing, no one. 

Mustafar has a way of messing with his senses. He knows he feels an enemy present, but there's no one. 

Poe, Finn and Zorii run in behind him. 

"Where is….there's no one here?" Poe remarks. 

"Shh…" Ben waves his hand out. He feels into the force. 

They're here. His girls. He knows that like he knows every color in his Rey's eyes.

Hux is here too. Nearby. 

The visions of his wife, strapped down, sobbing his name in desperate fear, hands on her, not his own, digging, bruising her soft skin, in places only reserved for  _ him _ to touch, assault his mind. 

He's  _ seething _ in anger, like the lava outside. It rushes, unrestrained. It's not the dark side. It's something much more powerful. 

It's taking back what is his. It's putting right what was taken from her. From them. 

It's ripping Hux from limb to limb. 

"Stay here." Ben speaks through clenched teeth. "This is  _ mine _ ."

They don't move an inch.

He stalks his prey slowly. Hux is here. Like the fool he's always been. 

He enters the next room, dark, like the rest of the castle. 

Hux is apparently unaware of his presence. Not that it gives Ben an advantage. Anger, like none he's ever felt, gives him the advantage. 

He could use the Force choke. He's used it before on Hux. But he'd much rather use his bare hands. 

He simply reaches and grabs, giving no thought as to why Hux is alone. He grabs around his neck, jerking him backwards. 

"You have no  _ idea _ how badly I've wanted to do this. For  _ years _ ."

Hux kicks in mid air, his feet off the ground. He clutches at Ben's hand. Only one is at his throat. The other rests against his temple, slight pressure causing Hux to feel the vertebrae in his neck pop several times. His eyes bulging grotesquely. 

Ben whispers in Hux's ear with a voice that he himself is afraid of. He's never even heard his own voice like this. Blood curdling. 

"But no, I was stupid. I let you live, over and over. And how did you repay me?"

He throws Hux forward, face planting a stone wall hard enough that Ben hears bone break. Hux screams. 

"You touched her."

He turns around, blood pouring from his nose and mouth. He sees Ben's eyes and  _ quakes.  _

Ben squats down, coming face to face with this evil monster. Hux scrambles backwards, his back against the wall that just broke his face. 

Ben speaks. 

"You will tell me one thing before you die. Where are they?"

Hux stops, grinning, showing blood covered teeth. 

"Oh, you mean your little pieces of trash that you reproduced with that rat bitch? Oh, they are  _ lovely _ ."

Ben grabs his wrist, breaking it smoothly. Hux screams. 

"Where….are….they?"

Hux continues to grin. Ben realizes it won't be that easy. That's okay. 

He'll find his girls. He'll  _ always  _ find his girls. 

Ben nods, standing. 

"That's alright. We'll stick to just the first subject we discussed."

Ben turns, deliberating how this will go. 

He feels it before it happens. 

Hux pulls a blaster out from under his robe with his good hand. He fires. 

Ben throws his hand out behind him, freezing the bolt in mid air. Hux turns even paler than his usual pasty complexion. 

Ben slowly turns, keeping his hand in the air, the bolt still frozen. 

"See Hux, here's where you and I differ. You want power. At any cost. Whereas, I wanted balance. You wanted to dictate. I explained time and time again how that would backfire. You wanted to take what wasn't yours to possess. The galaxy, the beings in the galaxy. Then, that wasn't enough. You decided to take what is mine and  _ that  _ is where you  _ really _ fucked up."

Hux interrupts.

"You betrayed us all for what? Rey? Or better yet, for Rey's pussy?"

Ben throws the bolt at Hux's hand, removing it clean from his body. His screams echo throughout the castle.

"You haven't earned the right to speak her name."

Hux laughs.

Ben ignites his saber and in one full swoop he removes Hux's other hand.

In the midst of his anger, he loosens control on the wall holding Rey back from his mind. She charges in. She can feel the dark side bubbling at a vicious temperature. Like lava. 

_ No Ben!!! Don't give in to it!! It's not worth it! _

Ben stands over this weak mess of a man. A man who steals children and rapes women. A man who has let evil turn him into a demon. This was not the Hux who was once his friend, many years ago. This was what happened when evil was allowed to run rampant. Ben would know. He was this evil at one time. No, not this evil. He never took a woman's dignity. 

_ You are worth it Rey _

He plunges his saber clear into Hux's throat, watching blood pour out of his mouth and his eyes bulge. 

He leans over, growling the words. 

"And you sure as hell didn't earn the right to touch her"

He pulls his saber out slowly and walks away. 

~*~

Rey falls backwards into the chair. 

Her friends grab her. 

"We are almost there Rey. Hold on."

"Ben….he killed Hux."

"I hope it was slow." Jannah remarks. 

"It was."

The planet comes into view. Great lava fields are visible even from here.

Rose gasps. "Woah" 

"Yeah" Jannah agrees. 

They land with no opposition in sight. 

"That was too easy." Says Rey. 

She reaches for Ben. He's put the walls back up. She feels for his emotional state. His anger is overwhelming to her. Something like when he was Kylo, something like the throne room. Not when he killed Snoke. That was resolve she felt in him then. But after, when the guards charged them. No, not them, her. Because he told her later, years later, the anger she mistakenly thought was for his own safety, was really for hers. 

"All I could do was think of how they wanted to hurt you. Kill you. I was terrified and angry that you could die, right there, steps away, not even knowing that I loved you. I was so angry that they'd take away my everything. My Rey."

This anger that she feels from him now, it's like the anger she felt from him then. That someone could take away his everything. 

She quickly retreats from his mind, feeling that same anger rise in herself. 

She runs. 

~*~

He is stalking again. 

He clears each room, finding no enemies. But also not finding his girls. They are here. He knows they are. 

_ Papa!! _

_ I'm here. I'm coming. Just a little longer baby girl.  _

He senses a presence. It's her. Gensha. 

He enters the room, saber activated. His steps do not falter as he enters. No fear in him.

The room is filled with Praetorian guards. Ben quickly counts. Fourteen. More than even Snoke had in the throne room. 

"Gensha!!" He growls. 

The guards step forward but Gensha throws up her hand and they fall back. 

"Ah, there you are. Thank you for coming. It's been a while. I see time as been good to you. You always aged like a fine wine."

Gensha is a striking woman. Tall, curvy. Long blond hair, curling at the tips. Dressed in all red, complete with red leather boots, ridiculous heels for someone who's a warrior. Lipstick to match. She smiles a kilowatt smile and brushes her hair back. 

"Come see me, Kylo. Let me see how good you look."

" _ Where are they? _ "

"Oh they are safe. I wouldn't dream of hurting them. They are darling, Kylo! Beautiful little raven haired things. Like their Papa….that's what they call you? So adorable! They are going to be stunning when they grow up!"

_ " _ **_Where.are.they_ ** _ " _

"Calm down! Goodness! You'll see them. They have their own little room. Sweet little things. Oh and  _ powerful.  _ I cannot wait to see what they become capable of! Kylo, we can teach them so much. Me and you. As upset that I was about you running off with that girl, it's okay. I understand. I hated her, you know? But she was good for something. She did what I never wanted to do. I could never fathom pregnancy. I mean, my figure would just be  _ shot.  _ So at least she could do that for us, you know? Now you and I can take them and mold them into Knights. They will be  _ amazing _ ."

By now she is inches away from Ben, running her fingers into his hair, making him sick. Her voice is like honey.

"Put that thing away. You killed Hux? Thank you! He was so irritating. Do you know he thought he could sleep with me? I was constantly fighting him. I do have to admit though, it was fun stringing him along. You know, I do love to tease a man."

He deactivates his saber, hooking it to his belt. He can see now where this game is going. 

He hears the girls become more desperate, feeling his presence nearby. His mother is holding them now.

_ Hurry Ben. They are panicking.  _

He can see now he'll have to play this game. 

~*~

Rey runs into the castle, her friends on each side. 

"Where is everyone? Anyone?" Rose asks.

Rey reaches out to Ben again. The walls are thick. Why won't he let her in? She reaches for the girls and feels their panic. They are nearby. She won't speak to them, afraid that will make them panic more. She knows they aren't alone. Leia is with them. 

They find Hux. It's a grotesque sight. 

"Hux?" Jannah asks. 

Rey nods.

"Good riddance" Jannah says. 

They check every room. Nothing, no one. 

Finally Rey senses her other friends. 

"Rey!" Zorii whispers with alarm. She pulls her friend into an embrace. 

"Where...is he?" Rey stammers out. 

"He told us to stay here." Poe says.

"And you listened???" Rey nearly shouts. 

Finn hugs Rey, relieved to see her better than the last time he saw her.

"He's okay Rey. Believe me, he's quite scary right now. We watched him kill Hux. He never even raised his voice. It was cold. He's terrifying. I've never seen him like that." 

"I have" Rey remarks. "I have to find him."

"Rey he's not in his right mind."

Rey looks at Poe. 

"He'd never hurt me. I've never been afraid of him. Not then and surely not now."

She walks on, leaving everyone behind. But soon, she feels the presence of Zorii and Rose at her back. Finn is holding Jannah and won't let go of her. 

She comes to a doorway and peeks inside. There he is. 

This woman, clad entirely in red, has her hands in his hair, stroking his neck. 

Rey's emotions are everywhere. Her children are here somewhere, afraid. A woman is touching her husband and he's just  _ standing _ there. She can't even read his emotions, he's walled her away from him so thickly.

The guards are large in number, ready to fight at a moment's notice. They must not be force sensitives because they don't seem to be aware of anyone else but the two in the center of the room. Rey still uses her Force powers to blind them to her and her friend's presence. She needs to get to Ben. 

  
  
  
  



	54. Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa Bear Ben is calculating a plan without consulting Mama Bear Rey

  
  


Ben has to throw the thickest walls ever between not only him Gensha. He has to make her believe he wants her, as much as it pains him. He literally feels sick, feeling this woman glide her long nails over his chest. She's so close he can feel her breath. 

He does not keep the walls up between him and the girls and his mother. 

The wall he's erected between him and Rey makes him oblivious to her close proximity. 

Meanwhile he speaks to the girls. He knows they can see him. 

_ Close your eyes. Don't open them until I say so.  _

They obey their father. 

"Come join me Ben, join me and I'll save your precious girls" 

"You will spare them if I come to you?"

Rey panics, thinking she's not only

about to lose her children to the dark side but her husband too. No, Ben..... 

Gensha grins mischievously, he's considering her offer

"Yes I will make them ours and they will be safe....."

Ben inches closer to Gensha, slipping an arm around her waist, hauling her into his chest. 

"I've always loved you Kylo. You are my dream come true. Leave that desert rat. Be mine. Be all mine. We will rule the galaxy together. Be mine."

"I'm yours"

She screams at him through their connection as Zorii and Rose hold her back. The others soon join them, confused.

_ No Ben! We can save them together! Don't listen to her!  _

But nothing. The walls are thick. He has shut her off completely. She knows he hears her. Silence.

His voice lowers to that deep tone he only has previously reserved for his lover. 

"Yes, Gensha, yes….I'm yours. You belong to me now…."

Ben kisses Gensha deeply, mouth opening as he sinks his tongue into her mouth, holding onto her with one arm, pulling her body up to his. 

Hot tears spill from Rey's eyes at the words that Ben has only ever reserved for her. 

She watches her lover, her soulmate, her Dyad, her husband, kiss another woman, declare himself to her. She turns away, unable to look, falling into the arms of her best friend. Finn pulls her close, his mouth open in shock. 

He continues to kiss her. Gensha loses all of her senses. This man she has dreamed about, this man who she refused to kill because she WANTED him, he was finally hers.

She pulls herself to him, wrapping both arms around his neck.

Ben waited, impatiently, disgusted, until he feels her let her guard down. This is it, his only chance. 

He slowly moves his hand to his saber, allowing this woman to grope his body. He unhooks it and pulls it around to her side. Just like Snoke all those years ago. 

Gensha is lost in her lust, in her dream coming true as she moans into his mouth, pushing her body into his.

He pulls her closer, sinking his tongue deeper into her mouth. He feels the war inside. He hears his children crying for him to hurry. He builds his walls up thicker at Rey. He has to do this, he has to do whatever it takes to save his girls from this monster. 

He moves his saber carefully, sensing the guards whom he's froze in the force so they do not alert her. The saber is pointed at her side. 

He activates it.

The saber pierces her body. He ensures the damage and then turns it off. 

She stumbles backwards, looking at him with shock.

"I thought you wanted me." She gasps.

"I only belong to one woman." He whispers to her.

She would bleed to death and he wasn't sorry. He supposed that it wasn't a very Jedi like thing to do. But it was something that a father would do and above everything else he was a husband and a father.

"BEN!!!" yells Poe. 

He turns. Rey is staring at him. 

And then her guards are on him.

She looks confused.

"REY!!!!" He yells, running towards her. 

She shakes her head and runs from him. 

Then maternal connection kicks in. 

She knows right where they are. She runs past the dead woman on the floor, taking out a guard on her way. 

Poe looks around, accessing quickly. 

"Let's go motherfuckers" he yells, pulling out his blaster, blowing one guard right in the head. Their helmets are blaster proof but the sheer force topples it backwards. Jannah walks up and uses her bowcaster to plunge an arrow into it's throat at close range. 

Zorii is able to disarm one of its vibro-axe and immediately removes its head. 

These little girls had invoked a calvary and they weren't leaving until all were dead who had dared mess with them. 

Rey runs towards the direction she feels the pull, saber ready in case of enemies. She pushes down every emotion. Except the maternal instinct, now throbbing in her chest.

She screams so that they hear her.

"DREIA!!! LEIA!!!"

The sweetest sound fills her ears then her heart.

"MAMA!!!! MAMA!!!!"

She nearly punches the pad to enter the room. She slides into the room, deactivating her saber, clipping it and grabbing one daughter in each arm, not wasting time. She is now vulnerable. She can't reach her saber if they encounter anyone. 

"Leia, grab my com link, push the button, hold it to my mouth, okay baby?"

"Okay Mama." She is calm. Like a true Solo.

"I'VE GOT THEM!! CLEAR A PATH!! I'M NOT COVERED!!"

"YES YOU ARE!!" yells Ben.

She doesn't answer back.

Instead she runs out, Ben watching from afar. The guards lay dead around him. 

He runs after her. 

"Rey! Rey! Give me one of them! Rey!!"

She exits the castle and goes up the ramp to the ship, carrying them straight to the quarters. She sets them down, looking them all over. Touching them, kissing them, sobbing for every reason she could sob. 

"Are you okay?? Are you hurt?? Mama's here!"

They are sobbing too, clutching at her with desperate hands.

Ben runsinto the room, falling on his knees, grabbing both of them.

"Papa!! Papa!! You came!!"

He is crying too. They are alive. They are safe. 

"Are they okay Rey?? Are they hurt?" 

"They are okay Ben. They seem okay, just shook up" 

"I told you I was coming. Didn't I tell you? I told you"

"Try to calm down Ben. They won't stop crying until we do"

"Yes, yes, you are right." He says, shushing them as well as himself. He sits in the floor, pulling them to him. He reaches for his wife, trying to pull his family into a hug.

She stands up.

"I'm going to help co-pilot. We may encounter resistance trying to get out of this hellhole."

"Rey, stay here with us, Chewie and Poe have it."

He reaches for her leg as she walks by. He grabs her calf. She snatches away, like she has been burned.

"Don't. Don't touch me Ben." Her voice is cruel, riddled with anger. 

"Rey?" he calls after her.

She leaves and he stays. He sits on the floor, holding them until they cry themselves to sleep. He lays each of them down and curls up next to them. He can't stop thinking about how close he had come to losing them. His heart is hammering in his chest. While trying to get to them, he had pushed his fear aside. He couldn't let it touch him. 

He knows what fear does to him.

He hears her return. She silently picks Driea off the small bed and lies down in the other bed with her. Ben is afraid to speak. Rey never even looks at him. She turns her back to him and cuddles Driea in her arms. 

Neither one slept. 

He calls out to her through their Dyad. Nothing. 

He can see the wall. It was going higher and higher. Strong and thick. Until she has pushed him completely out. She's all but severed their Dyad. 

Like many years ago. When he was Kylo. 

He is terrified he has lost her forever.


	55. Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Ben lost Rey?

When they land on Anja Kloss, the medics are waiting. Along with everyone else.

The girls are checked over. They are healthy. Whoever was in charge of their care had watched over them. They had not even missed a meal. 

The plan was not to harm them. The plan was to brainwash them and turn them into monsters. Thank Force it had not yet started.

Rey sat with them for hours, Ben in the corner nodding off. 

Eventually, she felt confident enough to leave the room. 

Ben woke up alone with the girls. 

He reached out for Rey. He only ran into the wall, thicker than it was earlier. 

He rose and kissed the girls, who were sound asleep. 

He went out of the room and saw the three women sitting there.

"Will you sit with them?"

Zorri spoke, "Of course Ben. About what happened….."

"Not right now, Zorri, where is she?"

"We don't know Ben, she won't speak to us"

He goes to their quarters. She's not there but she has been. All of her stuff is gone. 

He panics.

He goes to the next logical place. The girls quarters. All of her stuff is there but she isn't. 

At least she didn't leave the planet, Ben tells himself. Well of course not, she's not going to leave the girls, he realizes.

She has left their room. She has moved out. He walks back to their room, feeling helpless.

What else could he have done? He did the only thing he could do. 

He remembers how hard she tried to get to him through their bond when he arrived on Mustafar. Hell, he'd walled her off so much he didn't even feel her there. 

Would he have carried through with that plan if he had known she was watching?

No way. He would never make her watch that. He thought she'd never know or at least get to explain himself afterwards. 

Anger rises. Not at her, at himself.

He resorts back to an old coping mechanism. He destroys the room. 

And just like years ago, it only creates more problems. Except now he has no servants to pick up his mess. He'll deal with it later.

He leaves the room, stomping everywhere, storming through the base, searching, looking, feeling for her. Seeing that wall every time. 

He screams inside himself.

Zorri approaches him. 

"Ben, stop. Sit down"

"Where is she??? Where is she Zorri??"

"Sit down"

"NO!!!"

"Boy if you don't sit your ass down!!"

He knows they sent her because she was never intimidated by the former Kylo Ren. 

He sits, heaving, shaking. He feels sick.

"If you are going to hurl, walk your ass over there"

"I'm not Zorri!!"

"Calm down!" She yells again.

He tries. He leans over, gasping. 

She waits. 

He looks up. "Where is she? Do you know where she is?"

Zorri takes in the sight before her. She had not known Ben as Kylo. But she knew who Kylo was. This very man before her had terrorized her home, fucking blew it up. Kimjii wasn't really her home but she had been there long enough that when she heard it was gone, she vowed to kill Kylo Ren. Then she met him. 

Years had gone by. She thought she'd see some asshole. Instead she saw a man holding a toddler in each arm, clearly enamoured by both of them. Then she saw the way he looked at her new friend.

Every woman should have a man look at her the way Ben Solo looks at Rey Solo. 

She was instantly jealous. Not of Rey but of that LOOK he gave her.

And now sitting here before her is the former Supreme Leader of The First Order. 

Except the man is crying like he just lost his best friend. 

Well he has. She kinda feels sorry for him. Except she is pissed.

"So, what the actual FUCK is wrong with you??"

He looks at her with the biggest puppy dog eyes she's ever seen. He is a mess.

"Ben, dude, why???? Of all the damn force tricks you know, why did you go with THAT plan??"

"I couldn't use that shit on Gensha! She was as powerful as I am! I had to appeal to her weakness! Rey should know that!"

"Damn, you are stupid. She watched you shove your damn tongue down another woman's throat!! RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!!"

"I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS THERE ZORII!!"

"I can't with you. Look, just, just, give her space, okay?"

"Did she tell you to tell me that?"

"No Ben!! She was sobbing too hard to say anything!!"

"I should've trusted her, I shouldn't have pushed her away. She is wiser in the force than me. She always has been. I should've let her at least tell me what she thought we should do. The girls are her girls too. Zorri, I messed up"

"No. You fucked the fuck up"

She went to walk away and turned to tell him one last thing.

"And quit doing that force connect Dyad thing. It hurts her head. She is not going to let you in right now Ben"

With that Zorri had relayed the message and was gone. 

Ben sits there for hours. Exhausted. No one else came to speak to him. He wondered how Poe felt. As close as he had become with him, he figured maybe Poe would come talk to him. But he knows Poe's loyalties lie with Rey. Once again, he is without a friend.

Finally he goes to see the girls again. He sees Rey enter the medic room and waits until she comes out. She doesn't see him and he lets her go, as horribly painful as it is to do it. Watching her walk away is physically painful. 

He walks in and finds Jannah. 

"I just came to check on them and say goodnight"

"Stay as long as you want Ben. I'm just here when Rey isn't. I'll be outside"

"Where did she go?"

"She went to grab find the medic I told her to eat but she won't"

She pauses, "I know you don't care what I think and they are your children so it's none of my business but I'd not stay when she returns. These kids don't need that negative energy"

"Jannah, I do care what you think. I'll leave in 20 minutes. Will you wait outside?"

She tries not to smile but the guy is a mess. 

"Yeah Ben"

"Jannah?" he calls after her

"Yeah Ben"

"Will you take care of her? She won't eat. She does that. She will practically starve herself. She gets stressed and won't eat. Except when she's pregnant, then she eats everything" he smiles at the memory. 

Jannah is fighting tears.

"Make sure she eats. Don't let her train too hard. She'll train herself to death. She'll pass out. I caught her one time. She almost hit her head"

He gazes off in worry over his soulmate.

Jannah walks over and lays her hand on his shoulder. This guy is really a big teddy bear. 

"Ben, I'll watch her, okay?"

Ben reaches up and grabs Jannah's hand, desperate.

"Will you tell her I love her? And I'm sorry? Will you tell her I'm an idiot and I'm stupid and I love her?"

Jannah is wiping tears now.

"Yes, Ben, I will. Spend some time with the girls. I'll tell you when she's coming, okay?"

"Thanks"

Jannah leaves. 

Ben overhears Finn outside the door. He can't understand what is being said. He does hear bits and pieces.

"No Finn, leave it alone...."

"Jannah, I just want to talk to him...."

"No!" 

"Do you see what he did? Rey is crying!"

"I know that! Leave it alone!"

Great, now everyone wants to kill him.

Then Poe comes.

"Tell him to come out here."

"No Poe! Leave him alone! He's seeing his kids!"

"Rey is a mess! I don't understand him! Right in front of her!"

"Leave, Poe. NOW!!"

He lies down next to the girls. He knows they are okay. He cannot be more thankful. Even though this is hell, at least they are safe. 

When Jannah sees Rey coming, she walks in to tell him.

This big huge guy is curled up on the bed with his daughters, his face buried in Driea's hair, his hand swallowing little Leiliana's arm. 

He is sound asleep. 

She walks back outside and stops Rey

"Rey, he's asleep with them. Maybe give him some more time? I'll get someone to come fetch you when he wakes up"

She hangs her head in literal pain.

"Okay Jannah, thank you"

"Ben told me to tell you he's sorry and he loves you." 

Rey just pats her arm and walks away. She goes to the girls quarters and cries herself to sleep.

It is after dark when he wakes up. Jannah is sleeping in the chair.

He touches her arm.

"I'm leaving now. Thank you Jannah. They need their mother to spend the night with them. I'll be in my quarters if anyone wants to see me"

He walks back in the room to and lean over, kissing them good night, glad they are sleeping.

"Bye, baby girls, I'll see you tomorrow"

He leaves. 

Jannah actually cries. 

Ben goes to his room and sits there, looking at the mess he's made. He takes a shower, trying very hard not to remember all the times he and Rey have made love in this shower. They pretty much never shower alone. 

Walking out and seeing the bed doesn't help.

What if I never touch her again? 

He reaches down in the cabinet and pulls out a full bottle of liquor and a carton of cigarettes.

He leaves the room. No way in hell he can sleep in that bed, without her. Without her body to wrap himself around. Without the little sighs she makes in her sleep. Without her hair to bury his face into as he sleeps. 

Ben isn't a drinker. But tonight he is. He smokes on occasion. 

He found his way to the nearby forest and drank and smoked until he passed out.


	56. Someone You Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is not dealing well with Rey's anger. He has some time with his baby girls. 
> 
> The song for this chapter is "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi

He wakes as the sun rises, rolls over and pukes. 

He feels like death. 

And once again, stupid as fuck. 

_ Here I am with two kids in the medic and I'm hungover. Some Dad I am. _

He hauls himself up and stumbles to their, no, his quarters, he remembers with a sharp pain in his chest. 

He pukes two more times on his way there. 

He knows he can't throw up again. His stomach is empty. He has not eaten in almost 2 days.

No way is he going to the dining hall. He manages to stop a kid and give him credits to go get him something, anything to eat. The kid is glad to help out "The best fighter pilot in the Resistance"

Ben rolls his eyes.

The kid has also told him there is a big party planned later to celebrate the defeat of the First Order.

Great, Ben thinks. He may drink that second bottle of liquor in their quarters.

Somehow he manages to shower and pass out again on their bed. 

Someone is beating on something. He may kill them.

It's Poe. Killing him may be a good plan, Ben thinks. Except that sure as hell won't help with Rey. 

He walks to the door and hit the button. 

Poe is not happy. 

"You alive?"

"I'm..not...sure"

"Yeah, you alive. That's all I needed to know. Damn these responsibilities"

Clearly General Dameron is just doing his job. No one had seen Ben all day except the kid who said Mr Ben was sick. Sick everywhere. 

"Poe? How is she?" 

"Don't ask me. I'm busy. Go back to your bottle"

And he is gone. It was obvious that the guys weren't going to have any mercy on him. 

He sleeps off his hangover and wakes up just as the sun is setting. He needs to see the girls. 

As soon as he opens his door, there they are. 

With Rey.

They lock eyes. Ben watches her entire body tense up. He wants to touch her. Hold her. 

_ Dammit, she's my wife. _

"I wanted you to know they were released. I don't understand why you haven't been by today, but whatever"

"Yeah, I was sick earlier"

She looks past him into the now-destroyed room. 

"Yeah, okay. I heard different. Well, they wanted to see you. I'm going to the celebration. I knew you weren't going so I thought they could stay here with you"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Have they eaten?"

"Yes Ben. Don't drink, okay?"

"Oh,you heard about that….."

"Do whatever you want. Not around them though, got it?"

She kisses each girl on the head and turns to leave.

"Rey?"

She stops without turning

"What Ben?"

"Can we talk later tonight?" 

She stands there, quiet. Then she walks to her door, keeping her back to him. 

"No, Ben. Good night"

She walks inside her quarters and the door closes.

He turns to his daughters, who look perfectly fine considering all they have endured. He feels their Force signatures. They are healthy but confused and exhausted.

"Hey baby girls, come sit with me" he says as he climbs onto the bed. A wave of nausea hits him but he contains it, using a bit of the force to center himself.

"Come on, it's okay, come let me see you"

They slowly climb to him. He feels weariness coming over them. He takes one in each arm, positioning them on his thighs. They are quiet as they settled into his chest. He senses a feeling of safety come over them. He almost becomes emotional but pushes it away. This is about them, not him. He is in awe of how he holds the power to make them feel safe. 

"You two are so brave, do you know that?" He kisses each of them "I'm so proud of you. You did a great job controlling your focus to connect with me. Your training paid off well. Did it help knowing you could talk to me...and Mama?"

He hesitates on the last part. The tears almost escaping. 

_ I miss her so much.I need her here with us right now. _

Dreia whispers to herself.

"What? What was that, Driea?"

"Papa, who was that woman? She was scary. I was scared a little"

He feels like the worst man ever. How could this have happened? He'd sworn he'd protect all three of them. Yet he'd let all three be taken. He feels sick again. 

He shifts Driea to look at him.

"I'm sorry you were scared. That woman is gone. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"No Papa, I'm tired. I want to sleep now."

His other thigh had gotten heavier. Leia is asleep. Her little mouth is open, drooling on his shirt. 

"Come on let's lay down. I'll be right here"

"Okay Papa. You know what? You were very brave too. You did a good job connecting to us. We knew you'd come save us. We told her. We said 'Our Papa is Ben Solo he will be here soon. He's big and strong and you should be nicer cause he's coming to get us' but you know what? She said that your name was different. She called you a different name"

By this time he is laying on his side with Leiliana asleep on the outside of Driea. He doesn't know what to say, he is using all of his strength to hold back the dam of tears. 

She is face to face with him, her eyes the color of her mother's. She is identical to Rey, his love who is not here. The physical pain in his chest is almost unbearable. 

She reaches up to touch his cheek.

"Papa, you can cry if you want to"

A small sob escapes him. This child is such a pure heart. Leiliana is his mini warrior, strong in a way that terrifies him. This one is sweet and tenderhearted. Too sweet. Which also terrifies him. 

"I love you, you know that Driea? Yes, I had a different name a long time ago. Are you okay? I'm sorry that I wasn't here to protect you. I swear I'll never leave you again, okay? I'm sorry"

He turns his face to the bed to hide the next sob that came tumbling out.

If only he had been here, oh Force thank you that they are okay. Thank you. 

He turns his head back to her. She's finally asleep. Her hand still on his face.

He leaves it there and closes his eyes, his one arm around both of them . Leia turns and snuggles her face into his hand, sighing. It is amazing how that small hand on his face and that small face in his hand are both so comforting to him. 

He falls asleep, for a moment forgetting the deep pain in his heart that is his soulmate not there with them.

He awakes to a clicking sound outside.

He knows that sound. It's her.

He slowly sits up. He is lured by her. He always has been.

He slides his door open just in time to see her from behind. She is wearing the white dress that she danced with him in, tight on her perfect ass. Her hair is curled and she has new heels on. 

She sways her hips as she walked. 

He doesn't know exactly what she is thinking but he knows enough. 

She is dressed to kill and pissed as hell. She knew he'd hear her walk by. He knows that sway was meant for him to see. She meant to piss him off and turn him on. It worked.

He comes back inside and sits down, hard,

thinking about the night they danced together. Thinking of her ass, her hips, her breasts. The way she smelled. Her mouth.

_ She sure knows how to fuck with my mind, dammit. _

He knows she will dance and drink and have fun. She loves stuff like that. He's now angry.

_ Well fuck me then. I'm what? Just her husband?  _

He knows she has every right to be pissed. 

All he can think about is how the men watched her that night. Except now he won't be there to intimidate them into staying away from her. 

He checks the girls again and dug out the other bottle of liquor.

At one time, he thought making love to her might kill him. 

Turns out, not making love to her might just do it.

__________________________

  
  
  


"Someone you Loved" by Lewis Capaldi

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me

This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

I need somebody to heal

Somebody to know

Somebody to have

Somebody to hold

It's easy to say

But it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

Now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to

This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you

Now, I need somebody to know

Somebody to heal

Somebody to have

Just to know how it feels

It's easy to say but it's never the same

I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

Now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes

I fall into your arms

I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

For now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

But now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Source: LyricFind


	57. Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey struggles with her decision to be apart from Ben and throws herself into trying to have a good time. Poe decides Ben may have to leave and Rey's friends try to reach out to her.

  
  


It's been three fucking weeks. 

She misses him so much her body hurts. 

Ben has spent several nights drunk as hell, Rey quickly realizing the girls don't need to stay the night with him. 

She finds herself worried about his well being, but why should she be?

He clearly doesn't care about her.

Part of her knows she is overreacting. 

The other part can't close her eyes without seeing him holding that evil woman, telling her that he belongs to HER, parting her lips with his tongue. 

Well, hell, now its her turn to get wasted. Not something she is very familiar with.

She misses him so much.

She sees him and fakes happiness. As long as she keeps that wall thick and tall, he won't know the truth.

She goes to yet another birthday party. There is more time to have fun now that there is no one to fight. The only reason anyone is still there was because they don't have anywhere else to go. Most of the Resistance is consisted of people with no family, no home. 

So they have fun. Finally. Rey dresses up every time. She knows he slides that damn door open. She hears him. She walks more sexy just to piss him off. 

She rounds the corner, sits down on a crate and cries, wishing he'd come after her. 

Then one night he does. He is drunk. She walks past his door. He slides it open and follows her. 

He doesn't care anymore.

She bends over to fix her shoe.

She hears his voice.

"Damn, Rey"

She stands, keeping her back to him. 

"Drunk again Ben? That's pretty regular now."

"It didn't used to be."

"What do you want Ben?"

"You"

"You just want to fuck. You don't love me" Rey says defiantly.

He is on her in a flash. He pulls her to him, pushing her hair away from her neck, placing his lips on the spot where her neck and shoulder meet. He knows the spot always made her weak as he lightly sucks it.

Her knees buckle. He holds her upright with his amazing hands. She almost drowns at the feeling of his lips on her skin. 

"I've loved you since I captured you and you broke into my mind, devastating me. I've loved you since you scarred me, marking me as your own. I've loved you since you reached for me in that hut. I've loved you since you stole me away and made love to me the first time. You are killing me. I'm watching you live without me and it's killing me. Do I want to fuck you? Yes Rey. I want to fuck you and love you and fight you for an eternity. Come with me back to our room. Just come back tonight, if not forever. Let me touch you Rey. Just tonight"

"Ben..." She growls long and low under her breath. She is tempted. Very, very tempted.

She turns and grabs his chin, looking into those dark eyes. She loves him. She is still in love with him. 

She wants to let it all go.

But the alcohol on his breath is too much for her. She can't find the strength in herself to save him again.

"Ben, sober up, please. I need you but not like this. Sober up and then come for me, I'll be with you the rest of my days. I love you. I miss you. I need you. Somehow, I'll forgive you, with time. Come to me when you sober up"

She walks off. 

He went back to his quarters and drank until he passed out. The next morning he remembered none of it. He thought it was a dream. 

~*~

He can't fly. He won't stop drinking. He is taking up space that Poe could use for a volunteer.

"Rey, he has to leave. I need the space"

Rey looks at her friend and fights the urge to scream. But he is right. She also has responsibilities. People depend on her. 

But the thought of Ben leaving makes her want to puke.

Yes she is mad. Yes she is hurt. But at least she can see him. The girls can see him. 

The Resistance is all she has left. She sees no point in going back to Driea with her drunk husband who can't keep his hands off of other women. 

Yes, yes, Rey. It was only one woman, she thought. And yes, Rey it was to save your children from being turned into monsters. But still…..what if he meant it? What if he enjoyed it?

"Do what you need to Poe."

Zorri's chin hits the floor.

"Poe, can I speak to you outside? NOW"

Zorri doesn't give her lover a chance to answer. She storms outside. 

"Um….excuse me a moment" 

Nearly everyone rolls their eyes. The drama is daily. General Dameron and Commander Zorri. General Finn and his girlfriend. General Solo and her husband. It can wear on one's nerves.

As soon as Poe steps out of the door he sees his love pacing back and forth down the corridor.

She spots him and throws her hands up. 

"WHAT??? WHAT??? No!! Poe, you sure as hell better NOT run him off"

Poe thumbs over his shoulder, back towards the meeting room door.

"But Rey said……"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK WHAT REY SAID? If I could kick Rey's ass I would! They are husband and wife! You don't split up a husband and wife! What the hell is wrong with you? No. NO"

"It's not your job to fix them, Zorri"

She wants to roar at his face.

"Then whose job is it?!?"

She stops to breathe.

"Poe, is Rey as good as she was before? Is she as good a pilot? Or anything? Before I was here, she was apparently the best. Is that still the case? Can you please take her off that fucking pedestal? Because I see a mediocre pilot. She's okay. There was a moment she was really good, right after Ben started flying with us. Then he joined us and she was fucking unbeatable. Now without him, she's making mistakes. Why can't you see it? She needs him. And God knows his skills took a nosedive after we rescued the girls"

Poe is stunned. Zorri continues.

"They are nothing without each other. Together they are invincible. I also help her because, honestly, I love her. She's an amazing person. I can see why you were in love with her"

Poe can't talk. Or breathe.

"You think I didn't know? Oh my love, I knew it on Kimjii. It's why I stayed away. I wasn't going to force you to choose. I don't beg a man to love me"

She continues, "Ben and Rey are one soul in two bodies. A Dyad. We should all be so lucky. It is best if we keep him here. She'll go back to him. She is dying in front of my eyes. Don't send her husband away. She will never forgive you. And as far as what she said? My girl is stubborn as fuck. I'm doing for her what she did for us. She's the reason we are finally together. Yeah, I know about that too"

Poe grabs her and pulls her to him. 

"Woman, you are…..something. I love you. I always have"

They kiss passionately, finally coming up for air when people walk around the corner. 

"Help me get them back together, please Poe. We need them together. The galaxy needs them together. Those girls need them together. Forgive Ben. The man is killing himself"

He looks at this woman who had changed him and smiles.

"Yeah, I can do that, my love"

~*~

  
  


Finn and Poe have the girls. Their constant barrage of questions are killing their mother.

"Where's Papa? Why don't you stay when he gets here? When are you and Papa going to take us to the forest again? Are you mad at Papa?"

She has blown up at them a few times. She has not been to train. Has not meditated in the Force. She hasn't touched her saber in a week. She can't practice without Ben.

Once again, Jannah, Zorri and Rose are there for her latest crying session over Ben. They need to quit drinking. She always does this when she drinks. They are both drinking too much. 

"Rey, listen, it sounds to me like he did the only thing he knew to do. It's not like he screwed her. I'd hate to see you and him split up over this"

Rey looks at Zorri and Rose to see if it's three against her.

Zorri runs her hand up and down Rey's back, "Jannah is right Rey. Forgive him. You should see the way he watches you. He tries to hide it when you walk by but after you get past him he watches till you leave. It's so sad. I feel bad for him"

"Fine, you feel bad for him then!" Rey is almost yelling, her emotions well up.

Rose sits down and hugs Rey. Rose is always the loving, kind friend. "I understand why you feel the way you do but we love both of you and we hate to see you both hurt"

Zorri stands and is blunt, "Well if you won't talk to him, at least don't come in the dining hall when he's there. He stops eating. Poor guy is too skinny. He's losing weight. He looks awful, if you noticed."

"Of course I noticed! I notice every fucking thing about him Zorri! He's my Ben....." 

She cries and they rush to her. She couldn't get through this without them. 

"You still love him Rey. You know it" says Jannah.

"Take him back Rey, please. You need him." Rose begs. 

"I need him? You don't know what I need! So fuck off and leave me alone, all of you!"

So they do.

  
  
  



	58. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben tries to pull himself together.

Ben is sitting with his back against the headboard. 

Rey is sitting between his legs, her back against his chest, attempting to read aloud. She wants him to listen. 

He's not behaving. Things have been very busy around the base. Between late night training and spending time with the girls, there isn't much alone time. 

As she is reading, he pulls her hair off of her neck and slowly kisses her bare shoulder, inhaling her scent. 

"I love you, Rey" 

The tip of his tongue traces up the side of her neck, causing her to shiver and giggle.

She sets the book down, sighing deeply.

"Mmm-hmm, I love you, too"

He bends her head forward and places kisses all along the hairline of her neck. He knows this drives her crazy.

She digs her nails into his thighs. 

He decides to tease her, smiling against her skin, moving to the other shoulder.

"You know, there was one time I connected to you....you didn't know"

"Hmmm? What? When?" 

She lays her head to one side to give him better access to her neck.

"One time you were in your quarters, you didn't sense me"

"What? No I always sensed you"

"Not this time" 

He slides his hands up inside her top and cupped her breasts, teasing her nipples with his large fingers. She moans. 

"What was I doing?" she whispers.

"Dancing"

"Alone?"

"Yes" 

He continues the slow assault on her body.

"I never dance...oh wait...."

"Yep" he confirms.

"You SAW that?"

"Yep" he slightly bites her neck.

"You j-j-just watched me?" She stammers, distracted by his hands and mouth.

"Sure as hell did..."

"That song....Ben...I forgot about that"

"I haven't forgotten...."

"I love that songgg...." She moans as he reaches between her legs, cupping her in his hand, squeezing just a bit

"I saved it on my playlist"

"Oh Ben...did you ever listen to it?" She moves against his hand.

"All the fucking time" He strokes up and down, feeling her wetness.

She gasps, "Play it for me"

"Only if you dance for me" he withdraws his hand from her, sliding up her stomach. She pouts.

"Ben, I only did it that one time"

"I know...I want you to do it again"

"I'm not good at it" 

Rey turns and faces him, sitting on her knees. He wraps his arms around her, pulling up her thin sleeping gown and grabbing her ass with both hands.

Ben chuckles, "Oh yes you are. C'mon baby please. I need you to"

"Only if you dance with me" 

She slides her hands up into his hair.

"I'm not the dancer, you are"

"You still have to, Ben, please"

She kisses his neck, sucking slightly on his skin.

He groans, "See you made me forget about it" He lifts her up, closes his legs under her and plops her back down, her thighs straddling him. 

She whispers in his ear "No, Ben...you have to dance with me first"

"I thought you didn't want to..." he runs kisses down the front of her neck.

She giggles her little sexy laugh that drives him wild.

She stands up while holding his hand and pulls on him. He relents only because of the look in her eyes. The one she always gives him. Sometimes from across the room when they were surrounded by everyone. 

"Play it Ben"

He reaches over and grabs his music player, scrolls to it and hits play

She sighs. The lyrics always made her think of their Force connections. 

"Rey, you are such a sexy woman. You always have been"

Suddenly shy she turns away, "I can't look at you. I can't believe I'm doing this"

She awkwardly swings her hips.

Once, twice, she swings her hips, closing her eyes. She places her hands on her hips and runs them down her thighs. 

After a few swings, she's lost in herself

Ben gradually backs away. He has to sit. The urge to grab her is too strong. 

She seductively moves from one side to the other, dipping a bit further each time, until she is killing him.

She turns to face him, eyes closed.

Her hands go to her face, down her neck, then down her breasts. He groans. 

She runs her hands up. Up into her hair and slowly pulls it down and shakes it loose.

He reaches to the device and hits repeat on the song. 

He stands and walks to her. He is so hard he is throbbing and runs his arms around her body.

"Keep going don't stop Rey"

He grabs her ass, pulling her roughly to him, spreads his fingers wide and just feels her move

At first her hands are still in her hair then she slides them slowly down her face, her neck and goes to lay her hands on his chest.

"No, don't touch my chest, touch yours"

She slightly smiles and looks up at him. Her hazel eyes are burning with passion. She feels so sexy right now. 

She not only slides her hands over her breasts, she slowly opens her top, never looking away from his eyes

"Ben, lean down I'll tell you a secret"

He lowers his ear to her mouth.

She nibbles his earlobe then whispers, 

"I knew you were watching me that night"

Those words shove him off the cliff.

"Damn, baby" he growls at her, biting her neck.

"I hoped it was killing you." she says with a sexy laugh.

She wraps her arms around his neck and he slowly lifts her, feet dangling.

He walks backwards to the bed, sitting down.

"You teased me, I was fucked up for days"

She pulls off his shirt, rubbing her breasts against his bare chest. He thrusts up at her, his erection hard and ready. 

"Good, you shouldn't have watched"

"Oh….but I'm so glad I did….."

Rey wakes up, reaching over for him. 

He's not there.

As she slowly remembers, she cries. 

~*~

Ben is visiting the girls in their quarters. Rey is there. The room is filled with tension, as usual.

Driea climbs up in her father's lap and taks his face in both hands. She eyes him deeply 

"What is it Driea?" 

"Papa, you changed. I don't like it"

"How have I changed?"

"You don't be happy now. Can you be happy again? Can you smile Papa?"

He smiles with tears in his eyes. She is still the smartest baby in the galaxy. Her and her sister. 

"I will Driea, I'll be happy again, go play, okay?"

He stands and walks over to his wife. 

"Ben, stop drinking"

"Is that what she sees?"

"Yes, they see it. They just don't know what to call it. Can you please stop?"

"Will you come back to me?"

His eyes are killing her. She wants nothing more than to be in his arms again. But for some reason, she just can't get past what happened. She walks away from him.

"I've got to go Ben. We have pilot maneuvers, remember? Are you going to be there?" 

He hangs his head. 

"Yes Rey I'll be there"

"Can you fly?"

"Rey, I haven't drank in weeks."

"Really?" She can't hide her excitement at that revelation. "You quit?"

"Yes Rey, I quit." He says. "Not for you, for myself"

She grows cold at the words.

"Good. See you in the air"

She still won't come back to him. He wants to punch something. He wonders how he wasn't tempted by the dark side like he used to be. He supposed Kylo really is dead now. 

He decides it is time to meditate and try to strengthen his force abilities again. 

It is time to move on. It's been six weeks. Six weeks without Rey. He doesn't have a choice. She has made the choice for him. But he is still a father so he has to straighten his ass out.

This is harder than anything he'd ever been through. His heart is standing on the other side of this base, not missing him at all.

He has to find something to focus on. He's tried drinking his thoughts away. He's tried showing her how bad he feels. The drinking only pushed her away further. It also meant he couldn't be alone with his girls. He almost got his ass kicked off base because of it. Which would've meant he would be cut off even more from his family. 

He's been angry, felt sorry for himself, been depressed and lonely as hell. He has to pull himself up. He won't give up on her. Never. He won't move on. But he needs something else to think on. He can't just die of a broken heart. He has his girls to think of. And they'd been through hell. 

A thought hits him. He thinks of his girls. Not just them but Aja and Ty. That young man is turning out to be quite a good pilot. He too, has no family to return to. Rothbert, the spy who almost got his ass killed, has become a surrogate father to the young man. And seems to have struck up quite the friendship with Rose. 

There are several children who have nowhere to go, now residing in base. Many from Jakuu. Former child slaves of Unkar Plutt. There was no way in hell they'd be sent back. 

Ben has a little time before the pilot training starts. He returns to their quarters. He refuses to think of the room as his quarters. 

He goes to the chest holding his parents things and opens it, wondering for a moment where Rey left his mother's ring. She's not wearing it. She is, however, still wearing the ring he put on her finger, her wedding band. So there must be some part of her still holding on…..

Ben shakes his head. 

_ Focus, Solo.  _

He empties the chest, glancing over at his parents blanket strewn over the chair in the corner. It still has grass stains from their anniversary by the lake. He pauses, losing focus again. 

_ No, don't think about that. She's not.  _

Back on task, he feels around the bottom, pretty sure it's there. Yes, a false bottom. He lifts it out to find stacks and stacks of credit chips. 

He counts it all and puts it back in, returning the false bottom and the contents of the chest. 

After pilot maneuvers, he requests a meeting with Poe. He used to be allowed to just walk in but things have been tense between the two men so he goes about asking to meet like everyone else has to. 

"What is it, Solo?" Poe says, gesturing

for him to sit. 

Ben sighs. "First off, thank you."

"For what?"

"Not getting rid of my ass for drinking."

Poe looks down at his desk. "Well, turns out you have quite the fan club in my fiancee and Jannah and Rose. They saved your ass."

"Thanks though. It was still your call. I'm clean now. And ummm….thanks for taking care of her. I know you guys have watched over her."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I need to do something. I'm going out of my mind and I think we all have seen what can happen if I go off the deep end. So, um, I want to try to right some stuff I've fucked up, you know, in the galaxy."

"And that would be? What?"

"I want to change things on Jakuu."

Poe's face says it all. "You want to...how? Ben we don't have the resources to do anything like that."

"I have the resources. My mother's money."

"I thought you used all that up on Driea."

"There's more."

"How much more?"

"Enough."

Poe sits back, not able to hide his shock.

"Ben, that's great. Wow. So you are thinking what? Talk to me."

Ben explains the dream that he's had for years. End the scavenging on Jakuu. End Plutt's child slavery ring. Establish a true support system starting with a consistent water supply, greenhouses and a proper orphanage for the parentless children. A med base. Decent doctors. A training facility so the orphans can learn skills to support themselves and have the freedom to leave or stay there. 

"Well, sounds like you are going to Jakuu"

Poe says with a smile that Ben hasn't seen directed at him in weeks. 

"I don't know about that. I think someone else should be in charge."

"Ben, I want Plutt dead. Now this is completely off record, alright? I want him dead. He starved and beat her…."

Ben grips the chair. "I know. But you know she wouldn't want us to kill him."

"Well, what she doesn't know…."

Poe leans forward. "Do you want her back?"

Ben stares at Poe. "More than anything I've ever wanted in my life."

"Well, you've wanted her before and you chased her all over the galaxy, changed everything about yourself, killed your own master and DIED to get her. This time, you'll rescue all of the little Rey's and Aja's and Ty's and restore her former home to what it should be. And kill her former owner. Well….she doesn't need to know that last part."

"Poe, I'm sorry I hurt her."

Poe looks him right in the eye. 

"She's wrong. I realize that now. I love her but she's wrong. You did what you had to. Ben, she'll come around. I see how she watches you."

"She does?" 

"Yes, you two make me tired. Look, I have a meeting. You go write up your plans and we will meet tomorrow."

"Yes sir" Ben says with a nod and a smile.

"Oh shut up, Solo."


	59. Kay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben makes a new friend....

It is recruit day. Rey is in no mood. This is one of those days when she has to be General. She prefers the days when she can just fly or spar with Zorii. No one leans on her those days. She can just....be. She can be herself. The responsibility of talking, putting on the mantle and getting to know the recruits just takes a lot out of her. And that was on good days. Now that her entire kriffing world is flipped upside down, it is exhausting to carry her responsibilities as General. 

It doesn't help that the girls have so many questions. 

"Where is Papa?"

"Will we see Papa today?"

"Why doesn't Papa stay here with us?

"Why didn't you kiss Papa?"

She really wants to pound her head on a wall. She can't tell them. She doesn't know why. She needs to. They adore him. How does she tell them he isn't going to be there every day now?

"FUCK!!!" she screams at the wall, glad no one is in the storage room, where she has retreated, just for a moment of alone time. 

The worst part is now, there is a new situation. Something else to pull her emotions like a tug-of-war. 

It seems that Ben has an admirer. 

Kay Connix. That bright, bubbly, BLONDE. 

Poe had sent Ben on assignment somewhere. Some new mission. Rey didn't ask and Poe didn't tell. She figures it is to give Ben something to do. 

Unfortunately, Kaydel was assigned to assist him. So they (they?? Now they're a they??) have been spending a lot of time together. Probably alone. 

Rey likes Kay. She really does. Kay is extremely intelligent, funny, sweet-as-honey and fun to be around.

And gorgeous. 

Ben seems to have noticed the same. It makes her want to tear this storage room apart. 

_ Why??? I walked away from HIM. Why should I care if Kay likes him? _

_ Because he's mine..... _

_ No!! Stop Rey. He's not yours. Not anymore. HE made that choice! He obviously yearns for something beyond what you have given him for six years. No, for seven years. Because everything you gave him started WAY before Exegol.  _

Shit. The way that Kay LOOKS at him. She knows. Hell, all the women here know. They know he's gorgeous...sexy....funny….

smart. 

A kriffing package. 

She punches the wall.

He smiled at Kay the other day. A real smile. It hurt like kriffing hell. He wasn't trying to make her jealous. Ben isn't like that. Deep down, she knows he still loves her. She knows he doesn't want her. She knows that. 

But still, the possibility is there. That he might be attracted to her. Attraction and love are two different things. And Ben needs affection. Hell, the man couldn't ever seem to go more than three days without sex. He was always touching her. A hand on her back, his fingers skimming her arm, her knee. Even in meetings on base, he'd reach under the table and take her hand or touch her leg. 

Ben has needs and if Rey isn't fulfilling them, he may reach out to another woman. Maybe Kay. 

Would Kay sleep with a married man? She doesn't know but he'd be hard for her to resist. He is talented like that. And hot as hell in bed. Some men just look like they would be good in bed. Ben looks it because he  _ is _ good in bed. Damn him and his damn hands and mouth and tongue and muscles and damn it, she will  _ not _ think about his cock.

"Hell, hell, hell, hell, HELL!!!" she screams, kicking a crate.

She can't be hateful to Kay. She is her subordinate. 

That would be unprofessional. Poe just had to put her in a leadership role! Now she was stuck, watching this BLONDE smile at her estranged husband. And laugh, and watch him walk away.....

She sighs. 

Well, it is what it is. Rey had pushed Ben away, so she was in no position to be jealous. 

_ Jealous? I'm jealous? If I'm jealous then does that mean I'm not ready for this to be over? No, I'm not ready....so what now? I'm I ready to forgive him? No, I'm not.  _

"Shit" she says out loud, sitting down. 

She wishes she had never come here. She wishes she was at home, eating dinner with her family. This was clearly a mistake. She's been traumatized, her children were kidnapped, her marriage is ending. 

_ Damn Poe for bringing me here. No, it's not his fault.  _

There is someone beating on the door. 

She stands and opens the door.

"Rey, are you okay? I saw you go in there, I left you alone but then I heard you scream. You alright?"

Dear sweet Rose. She is worried. 

"Yeah, I just, I needed a moment alone"

"Do you need to talk?" 

Kay walks by, saying hello to Rey and Rose, continuing on to whatever her job is at that time. 

Something in Rey's eyes must've given her away because Rose watches her face then turns to watch Kay. 

Ben is nearby. Both women watch Kay smile her kilowatt smile, saying something to him. Ben nods and smirks at whatever she just said. He drops his head, stealing a glance at Kay. He doesn't seem to notice Rey is nearby. 

"Oh…." Rose nods.

Looking back at her friend, Rose got that fire in her eyes, that angry knowing look, reading Rey's thoughts.

"Rey, he doesn't like her, you know that, right? The man is devoted to you. We've told you what he's said to us. And Kay, she's THAT type. The type that flirts without realizing what she's doing"

"She's beautiful, Rose."

"He only wants you, Rey. Don't let your imagination go there. I promise, he doesn't want her"

Rey shrugs her shoulders, throwing her wall back up. 

"Either way, it doesn't matter. Ben can do what he wants."

Rey says all this to Rose while staring at Ben's ass, bent over. 

Rose just shakes her head. 

"Okay Rey, whatever. Listen, Poe wanted me to come find you. The recruits have arrived. He needs you to come, now"

Rey straightens herself, holding her head high. 

She walks past Ben. 

"Rey? I wanted to ask you..."

"I gotta go Ben"

He runs his fingers through that damn hair of his…

_ I won't look. I won't think about how he likes me to pull his hair during sex. I won't think about it! _

"Yeah, okay....later? I'm training today but I'll be right here for a little longer. You look nice today, Rey"

Rose looks over her shoulder after they pass Ben. Yeah, he'd watched Kaydel walk by. But the look on his face as he watched Rey walk by is completely different. 

Oh yeah, Rose thinks, Kaydel Connix has got nothing on Rey Solo, in Ben Solo's eyes. 

Rey walks on, her heart beating a little faster, feeling his eyes on her as she walks away. The temptation to tell him he looked nice also was overwhelming her. She wouldn't be lying. He does look nice.

He looks more than nice. 

_ Damn him in his all black clothes! _

Rose has another mission. One she has just invented.

Find Kay. Now. 

"Hey, um, Kay? Can I talk with you?"

She smiles that stupid smile and nods. 

"Hi Rose. Yeah, what's up?" 

"Um, I just, I have a question"

"Everything okay? You seem upset"

"No, well yeah, um, I had noticed something earlier and I, um, just wanted to ask..."

Kay stands there, blue eyes blinking, looking innocent. 

"Do you, um, realize that, um, Ben Solo is still married?"

Kay's face turns pink then red. Her eyes big as saucers. She looks at her feet then back up. 

"Why do you ask me that? Is there something I've done?"

Rose holds her head high to the taller woman.

"Yes! You are flirting with him! Why?"

"I am not Rose!"

"Kay...come on....I'm not stupid....did he, did he come on to you? I need to know"

"No! I mean, he's talked to me a few times, we've been spending a lot of time together on this mission. He's sweet. Which is weird considering who he is and all. He helped me the other day. I didn't realize I was flirting. I just...I know him and Rey broke up...I didn't mean to flirt….if I did….oh kriff, did Rey say something?? Oh no...I would never hurt her."

"Kaydel….." Rose drags her name out. "Do you have a crush on him? I won't tell Rey. I promise. I won't judge you. Just be honest with yourself."

Kay squirms and damn, her face is burning.

"I didn't mean to have a crush on him. He's so handsome and funny. I didn't mean to."

"Kay, has anything happened?"

"No!!! I promise!! Nothing! He has no idea. He's been a perfect gentleman. I'm just lonely. I see how he watches Rey and I really care about Rey. I'd never do that to her. Please Rose, don't tell her. She'll hate me."

Rose sighs in relief. She didn't think Ben felt anything for any woman but Rey but after all, he is a man. A lonely man. 

"No she won't. But I won't tell anyone. Just...keep yourself in check, okay? As far as being lonely, girl! You know I'm the hook up master around here! I got the perfect guy in mind….."


	60. Jakku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben focuses on his new project....

So far, he's avoided going to Jakuu. 

Kaydel has handled everything, including supervising the rebuilding and establishment of everything Ben designed. 

She's been amazing, just like Poe said she would be. Kaydel had been his mother's right hand woman and that was one reason Ben was glad to have her assistance. 

She is like the kid sister he'd never had. They get along well and he's learned so much about his mom through her. She loves telling funny stories about Leia. Ben would laugh so hard. Force, he misses his Mom. She'd help him get through this. 

Kay had recently pulled away from Ben, canceling appointments. He figures it is because of her new guy. Ben had checked the guy out. Kay had gotten her heart broke too many times. She falls in love fast and hard. Ben made sure this guy was legit. He'd keep an eye on him.

So far, Rey has no idea what is happening on Jakku. He doesn't want her to think he was doing this to get her back. He is doing it to atone. The distraction helps though. 

Poe calls him into his office one day. 

"Ben, we have a situation. You'll have to go handle it. Kay doesn't know what to do."

"What's going on?"

"Plutt escaped custody. He must have had help from his bounty hunter friends."

"Shit. I thought we had established law enforcement? What good are they if they can't hold on to that slug? It's not like he can run."

"Well, here's your chance to deal with him. You know, strictly off the record."

"I'll leave as soon as I can. Let me tell the girls. It may take me a few days."

"And...tell Rey goodbye." Poe adds, winking. "You know, absence makes the heart grow...or some shit like that."

"Yeah. Hopefully." Ben says with a smile. 

"So...um...there's been some talking. About you and um...Kay?" Poe says, shifting in his chair. "I killed it. Don't worry."

"The fuck??? Oh shit Poe. Did Rey hear??" Ben panics. 

"I think she noticed. Kay clearly has a thing for you."

"Holy fuck. No. No. NO. She's just a friend...why the fuck didn't you tell me already??"

Ben is already up and leaving. 

"I just found out myself!" Poe yells after him. 

~*~

"Where's Rey??" Ben asks Rose, the first one he comes across. 

Rose holds her hands up at Ben. Which is rather funny since he's a good foot taller than her. 

"Woah, big guy. Where's the fire? What's wrong. Are the girls okay?"

"What? Oh yeah. Yeah. They are fine. Rose, where's Rey?? I need to talk to her."

"She's out flying. I thought you could sense stuff like that."

"Not anymore. She won't let me. Shit!!"

"Come on. Here. Sit. Talk."

She pushes Ben down. Well more like encourages him to sit. She sits with him. 

"She thinks….she thinks…. there's apparently a rumor?"

"Oh that. I took care of it."

"You heard?? How come I'm the last one to fucking know??"

"Ben, it's okay. I told Rey there's nothing to it. She believed me."

"No Rose.  _ I need to tell her! _ "

"Okay. Okay. Come on. I'll go with you."

"Rose... I'd never….I don't want anyone else. Shit! How could anyone think...I mean, Kay's pretty but Rey. She's gorgeous…."

"Breathe big guy. We know Rey's gorgeous. The only one for you. We know."

"Hell yes the only one for me."

The two walk to the other ships and wait. Rose has some work to finish so she walks a few feet away, still keeping an eye on this mess of a giant, who is pacing. 

Rey lands and climbs down the ladder, removing her helmet and shaking her hair out. That act in and of itself rendering Ben speechless, Rose notices. 

"These two are killing me." She says, standing close enough to be of support for both of them. 

"Rey...hey...um...can we talk?"

Rey keeps her back to him. 

"Yeah Ben. What is it?"

"Um...I heard something and I've got something to say. Rey, um...you know, there's nothing between me and Kay, right?"

Rey turns and looks her husband straight in the eye. 

"I've no idea what you are talking about."

Ben sighs with relief. "Oh good. Stupid Poe. He said he thought you thought there was something...there's not Rey. We just talk about our mission and Leia and her new guy. That's all. I don't want anyone else. I just wanted to tell you. Rey, I still love you. Okay?"

Rey turns, cutting her eyes at Rose, who pokes her lip out like,  _ give the poor fool another chance, you crazy bitch. _

Rey keeps her back to Ben. "Okay, Ben. I heard you."

Ben continues to stand there, all awkward like. Looking like all he wants to do is grab Rey and hug her. 

Rose starts trying to figure out how to kick Rey's ass. 

"Is that all Ben?"

"No. I'm going on a mission."

Rey turns, trying to look nonchalant. 

"When? Where? How long? Cause...the girls will ask."

"Now. I can't talk about it. I don't know."

"Now?" Rey asks, trying to keep the alarm out of her voice. 

"Yes, I'm going to tell the girls now."

Rey steps towards Ben. She doesn't think about it first, she just hugs him. Then she thinks about it but can't let go (because that would be rude). 

Ben is shocked. He embraces her, trying to breathe. He hasn't touched her in almost two months. Oh Kriff, she feels so good. 

Rey inhales his scent. Damn what was she thinking?? Holy hell, he feels good. She quickly lets go, her heart racing. 

"Please be careful."

"I will Rey. I love you."

"I know."

She watches him walk away, turning to find Rose right behind her. Rose just opens her arms and Rey is crying before she even gets to her embrace. 

"He's leaving….and he doesn't like Kay."

"I told you. You are a stupid bitch. But I love you anyways."

~*~

Somewhere between the base and Jakku, Ben manages to become pissed. 

He can't wait to kill this guy, you know, strictly off the record. 

He exits the Falcon, the unbelievable heat hitting him. No wonder his wife stays so cold, he thinks. 

He approaches the man appointed head of law enforcement. 

"I'm Solo. Are you Larth Len?"

The man is rather large, not as tall as Ben but very built. He shakes Ben's hand firmly.

"Yes sir. Thanks for coming. I'm hoping we can find Plutt quickly."

"What happened?"

"Apparently he has many bounty hunters that owed him a favor."

They walk along the sand and Ben feels grains already in his boots. He  _ hates _ sand. They seem to be headed to a new building in the center of town. Well, all of the buildings are new, from what Ben can see. There were never any buildings here before, just tents. He knows that from Rey's stories. He's glad to see his mother's credits put to good use. 

"Len, I need to know if the training has been inadequate here. Do you need more officers?"

"Well sir, the more we have…."

"Consider it done. I'll inform Connix. She will get it taken care of."

"Sir, can I be of assistance? I feel rather bad about this…"

Ben waves him off. 

"No, just tell me what you know."

They enter the building and Len quickly shows him to his office. They sit and Len explains what he's heard. Ben also takes into account everything he knows about Plutt from Rey. He's glad she's opened up over the years. Being their current relationship status, he couldn't go to her now and ask. She would be suspicious and he's determined she not know about this. None of it. Not yet, anyways. 

Ben thanks Len and once again, reassures him that more help will come. Clearly it's needed. 

Ben rents a speeder and takes off to the neighboring village, many miles away. He thinks of nothing but Rey as he races along, passing a downed AT-AT along his way. Was it hers? He had no way of knowing and couldn't stop to check. After all these years, it was mostly covered in sand. He thinks of his precious girl, trying to survive in such a harsh climate. Surely there was no tougher, fiercer, more courageous woman than her, anywhere. 

He arrives in the next village, hopping off the speeder, checking for his saber and blaster. He had not always carried a blaster but now, it makes him think of his dad, telling him the more weapons the better. He's never too far from his mind. 

He reaches into the force, feeling. He's never known Plutt but he still reaches, just in case. 

He spots a tavern. Plutt is known to drink excessively. 

After checking there, he inquires around. No, that's the only tavern. No more seedy places to check, he moves on. 

The next village is bigger, more like a town. He moves swiftly, in and out of places. It's getting late and he's having no luck. He checks into a local inn, deciding to rest and eat. He's got nothing but time right now. It's not like he needs to rush back, not like Rey will be waiting. He pushes that thought away. He has to stay focused. 

He leaves the inn, looking for a place to grab a bite. Not too far away is an eatery. Rather run down but his dad had taught him the most run down places tend to have the best food. 

Ben enters, sitting in the booth closest to the exit. Yet another Han Solo thing to do. 

_ Gotta be prepared to make a quick exit son. Plus you can watch who comes and goes.  _

He smirks at all the Solo advice he's following, reaching into his pocket, feeling for the dice. He always has them with him now. 

_ Wish you were here, Dad. You'd love this place. _

As he's waiting for a waitress to notice him, he hears a loud voice. 

"Hit me again!"

"Alright, shut up already!"

The loud man laughs obnoxiously. 

_ Something about that voice. _

Ben stands, trying to make it look like he's searching for another booth to sit in. 

Rey had dreamed of Unkar Plutt. Nightmares. She'd wake up gasping and Ben would hold her. Like most nights, they dreamed together. It is part of their bond, always happening the closer they were in the force. So even though he's never seen the man, he's  _ seen  _ the man. He's also heard his voice, mocking Rey, harassing her, laughing. 

_ Girl, one of these days, I'll have you. You'll show me those perky tits of yours. And that cute little ass too. One of these days, you'll be mine.  _

Just the shared memory inflames Ben. 

Yes, it's him alright. 

Ben accesses the situation. He's pretty sure there's no bounty hunter friends around. He wonders how in hell Plutt had any favors owed to him. But whoever owed him favors was long gone. The man, if you can even call him a man, seems to be alone. Drunk to boot. 

Ben sits next to him at the bar. He won't even need his saber for this. A good old fashioned choke hold oughta do it. 

"Whatcha drinking there?" Ben asks him. 

"What's it to you buddy? You buying?"

Ugh, the  _ thing _ stinks, Ben thinks. 

"Nah, just asking."

"Then mind your business." Plutt says, laughing way too much at his own comment. 

"Speaking of my business. I heard there is a girl you used to know. Rey's her name? That ring any bells?" 

"Oh yeah. I knew that bitch. She stole my freighter. Years back. I heard she joined the Resistance. She couldn't get any from me so she went off with some man. She was probably fucking him. Why you ask? You looking to get some action? She was a purty little cunt."

Ben grips the edge of the bar, waiting. 

"I heard she's married now. Big guy. About my size."

Plutt laughs. "No way anybody'd marry that desert rat."

Ben had heard enough. He turns on the stool, looking at Plutt, leaning in. 

Plutt gasps for air, squirming, almost falling off the small stool that is barely holding his weight.

"What the….?" He manages to squeak out. 

Ben whispers.

"Her name is Rey Solo. My name is Ben Solo, son of Han Solo. You may also know me as Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader. Recognize that name?"

Plutt nods, hoping for mercy.

There's none to be found.

"That's my wife you are talking about there, you worthless shit. You abused her, neglected her, starved her, beat her and would've raped her except you underestimated her. I understand that last part, the underestimation of her because for a long time, I did too. Her strength, her talent, her all-encompassing beauty, you missed all that. I've seen what you did to her. I've wanted to do this for years, motherfucker."

It was the slowest he'd ever choked anyone. He wanted Plutt to feel himself dying, to know why. He was quiet about it, not laying a hand on him. Just looking at him. Hoping that in some way, he was bringing justice for his soulmate and all the others this creature had hurt. 

Plutt hit the ground, dying slowly. Ben ordered himself a glass of water, the bartender not even noticing the hand under the bar, slowly twisting the windpipe closed through the Force. 

No one in the bar even cared that the man on the floor was convulsing. It was that type of place, in that type of town, on that type of planet. 

After he was dead, Ben left the bartender a very generous tip, walked straight back to his speeder and left this hellhole. 

He hoped Rey never dreamed of Plutt again. 

  
  
  
  
  



	61. Leal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has an admirer.....

He's back. 

She had anxiously awaited word, bugging the shit out of Poe for two days. At least once an hour. He finally handed her a commlink after she busted in on him and Zorii making out. 

He's back. He's okay.

She can breathe again.

She watched from afar as he walked down the ramp of his father's ship, looking better than when he left. 

His eyes met hers and he smiled. She blushed and turned, walking away, thanking the force that he was safe. 

He totally saw the slight smile right after her cheeks turned pink. 

~*~

Every night for weeks he had tried to reach her. 

He knows she felt it, felt him hitting against the walls she's constructed.

The Dyad is still there but she had cut him off, her walls thick and strong. 

She hears him say her name. She pauses, then moves on. 

At night he dreams and she can see herself in his dreams. She lets the wall down just a bit. He won't know. 

She longs to go to him at night. She doesn't know why she won't. She misses him. She loves him. But she can't let go of what he did. So she pushes him further away.

She watches him move on. He begins to focus less on her and more on the kids, more on his Jedi meditations. More on his fighter pilot skills and whatever his secret mission is. 

She tells herself she is glad he is moving on. She lies to herself every time she sees him. She sees him in his fighter pilot uniform and her breath catches, every damn time. 

He knows it. He feels it. He also knows the less he pays attention to her, the more he feels it. 

He is playing hard to get. It is working.

Until a new pilot shows up.

Poe was not recruiting at the moment. This guy volunteered.

Poe put him in her squadron. They had been down a pilot since the last fight. Ben had wanted to switch to her squadron, Poe said no, something about it being a distraction and it's too dangerous. Ben now avoids Poe as much as possible. 

This guy is a piece of work. He spies General Solo right off. Rey still wears her ring but as soon as he finds out about their separation, he's following her around, chatting her ears off, checking out her ass when she's not looking. 

Ben wonders if he could sneak ammunition on board and blow this bastard out of the sky during practice.

He watches this guy flirt with his wife and wants to choke his ass.

One look from Rey stops him. 

Oh yeah, she heard him think it alright. He only smiles because she heard him. 

Rey finds the man to be handsome. But nothing like Ben. Ben is....striking. Ben is gorgeous. Even though he is too skinny now. He's not as muscular as he used to be. Her friends were right. He's not taking care of himself like he used to.

But he still makes her quit breathing when he enters the room. Sometimes it is all she can do not to remember kissing him, touching him, holding him, making love to him. Even just laughing with him. Hell, she even misses fighting with him. She smiles at the memories and then corrects herself. 

Ben hurt her. 

Embarrassed her. 

Ignored her on Mustafar.

But he is still the only man she's ever wanted. 

She still doesn't even let him take one brick off that wall. She's not sure why. She is still in love with the man and cannot lie to herself anymore. Her sleepless nights while he was gone showed her that. 

This pilot is irritating her. His unwanted advances are too much. Even Ben had not pursued her this heavily.

That was saying a lot too. After all, Ben chased her across the galaxy. 

But Ben never pushed himself on her. 

Leal walks over to Rey and leans in very close to her face.

"Hey, sweetheart, I know you are my superior and all but I just wondered, you wanna go with me to the party tomorrow night? I heard you like to dance. I'm a great dancer."

"Umm...I have work to do, Leal. Maybe you should go finish your duties. I'm sure General Dameron won't like seeing you neglecting them, okay?"

He winks. "Yeah. Just let me know about tomorrow night, k?"

Jannah stands watching, her eyes narrowed. She spies Zorri and sends her a low whistle. Zorri looks up at her friend. Jannah nods at Rey and this flyboy. Zorri shoots arrows at this piece of work with her eyeballs. She makes her way over to Jannah. 

"Okay...so...this shit has got to stop" says Jannah.

"Where's Rose?" Zoriii asks.

"There", Jannah points across the hangar.

"Get her over here, we need a plan"

Jannah throws out her whistle at Rose

Rose quickly comes over.

"This makes me sick, look at Ben." Rose points out. 

They all three watch Ben. He looks like he could lightsaber the whole base, which, on good word, they've heard he's capable of doing. But more than that, he looks heartbroken. 

"I don't like this new guy. What is wrong with Rey? He looks like a dog compared to Ben"

"Hell don't they all?" Rose laughs. 

"Except Poe." Zorii adds with a smile. 

"Time for an intervention, girls."

All three step out, minds on one thing only.

Rey pulls her eyes off of Leal and sees her best friends. 

Uh-oh, here it comes, she thinks. She knew it would eventually. 

"Come with us, Rey." Zorri grabs her elbow, pulling her to the storage room.

Rose gives Leal a glance.

"Don't you have work to do? Well? Go on, shoo."

He looks at this little woman, impressed with her gall and winks. She steps towards him and he runs.

Zorri pushes her into the storage room, Jannah and Rose walk in behind Rey. Rose closes and locks the damn door.

Zorii goes first.

"I'm going to repeat something I once said to another Solo. Sit yo ass down girl."

Rey falls into the chair behind her.

"What the hell?" Rey exclaims.

"We've decided on this little meeting. Your presence is required." adds Jannah.

"Alright ladies, what's up?"

"You are a stupid ass bitch. No offense." Says Zorri.

Rey tries not to smile at that last comment. 

"Lemme guess, you think I'm stupid for leaving Ben."

Rose was not usually so bold but she was tired of this.

"Yup. My God Rey, do you KNOW what I'd do to have a man love me like that?? Do you not realize your husband is hot as hell?" 

Rey narrows her eyes. 

"Love is kissing another woman? And yes Rose, he's hot as hell. Believe me, I know"

Her eyes glaze over thinking of just how hot he is.

All three, in unison, roll their eyes.

Zorii snaps her fingers in Rey's face

"Hello? Could you stop fantasizing about your estranged husband's body long enough to explain why you won't go back to said estranged husband?"

Jannah speaks up. "Didn't you tell us he once called you a nobody, a nothing? How the hell you overlook that but not this? You said to us 'He's not like that anymore, he changed'. So, he can change from being verbally abusive but he can't be forgiven from this? Do you not see how stupid this is? Hell Rey, the only thing he wanted to tell me that night was how he was worried you wouldn't eat. He asked me to take care of you!"

"He said that?"

All three holler. 

"YES!!"

"Just go back to him, please?"

"I've got shit to do." says Rey, standing. 

"Yeah! Go fuck your husband! Please!" Zorii practically yells.

"I meant I've got mechanic work to do! And I'm going to deal with Leal, okay?" Rey yells back. 

Jannah lays her hand on Rey's shoulder.

"We don't mean to be disloyal to you Rey. But we care about Ben too"

"Alright, I get it. Let me by"

The trio watches her walk away.

"There goes one stubborn girl." Says Rose.

Zorii pipes in.

"Eh, she's getting there. You should've seen her watch him climb out of his X wing earlier. Ben's ass almost caught on fire from how hard she stared at it."

"I need a drink" says Jannah, summing up all three of their feelings.

Rose grabs her hidden cigarettes from a box in the storage room and passes them out. All three light up and watch. 

Ben watches her walk straight to this other man. He feels sick. 

Leal looks up eagerly at this beautiful woman he calls General and flashes a smile at her. 

Ben comes very close to breaking an actual wrench in half with his bare hands. 

He suddenly doesn't care anymore.

Rey may not like it but damn it all to hell, she's still his WIFE. 

Force choking is too easy. He wants to feel this asshole's face break under his fist. 

Rey spots Ben and throws her hand out at him, warning him to stop.

He freezes in place and decides to get really drunk if he doesn't like what happens in the next thirty seconds.

Rey stops a good ten feet from Leal.

"Leal, I have something to say to you. I appreciate your attention, I'm flattered, really. But I'm not interested. I'm married, okay? My husband is still important to me. So....just stop, okay?"

Leal's face falls as he watches her turn away. 

As soon as she turns, she feels Ben's eyes on her. She looks up at him and stops. 

_ I stopped it Ben. _

He stops breathing at the sound of her voice in his mind, quaking through his soul. It is like water on a fire. 

She herself had said it. She still loves him. 

Well she hadn't said that exactly but he'll take what he can get. It was implied. 

As they stare at each other for a tension filled few seconds, he thinks to himself, maybe all hope isn't gone.


	62. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a bit of hope, Ben goes to a party....
> 
> The song for this chapter is "Say You Love Me" by Jessie Ware.

The next night, he decides to go to the party. Yet another birthday. 

He doesn't know if it is a good idea but he can't sit alone, again. 

Besides, after the way she looked at him yesterday, it gave him a little bit of hope. He knows that she will be there.

The girls are already fed and asleep. Chewie is keeping an eye on them for him.

He enters the hangar alone, sneaking in unnoticed. 

He grabs his old spot and orders something without liquor in it. He is done with that.

Rey had subconsciously searched for him each time, her eyes always falling to THAT corner. It was always empty.

Except tonight. 

She quit breathing. HE'S HERE. 

She stumbles a bit and Jannah grabs her.

"See? See what he does to you? Dance Rey. I dare you" she winks and walks away. 

So she does, keeping her back to him. Not to tease him. Not this time. But because she can't look at him. 

She also knows he won't look anywhere else, which quickens her pulse and makes it even harder to breathe. 

"Go get me a drink Zorri. I can't stay unless I drink something"

Zorri smiles. Seems that his presence had her friend all fucked up. A plan begins to hatch in her mind.

Zorri walks over to the temporary bar and orders her friend a really strong drink.

"Send it to General Solo", she instructs the bartender 

Zorri walks over to Ben

"She's drinking Ben. She knows you are here"

Ben doesn't like it when Rey drinks.

"Well shit. I guess I better go"

"No Ben! She's drinking because she's getting up the nerve to dance! You two drive me nuts. SHE'S DANCING FOR YOU, you idiot"

"Really?"

"Just watch her, okay?"

"Zorri, there's nobody else in the fucking room but her....in my eyes....damn she's beautiful."

Zorri wants to punch Rey right in the throat for being so fucking stupid

"I heard a song that made me think of you two. I'm going to play it. Wait a little while and go dance with her"

"She'll push me away"

"Not in front of everybody she won't. I promise you she won't. Just trust me, okay?"

"Do you know something I don't, Zorri?"

"She's been watching you. A lot. Don't give up on her Ben. Don't give up."

"No fucking way. Never" 

Zorii looks at him and stars be damned almost gets emotional. Damn these two making me all romantic, she thinks to herself.

Rey takes a sip of her drink and chokes.

"Shit, what's in this? This shit is strong"

"I figured you needed to relax"

Ben watches, dying internally with every swing of her hip. Those same hips used to ride him. His cock twitches. No other woman could ever touch him the way she did. 

He's already hard watching those long legs. He can see the freckles on her thighs from here. Kriff, he knows every freckle on her entire body. 

He tries to calm his erection. If he touches her right now, she'll think he just wants sex. It's never been just sex with Rey. He'd give his left arm to make love to her again. 

Zorri looks at him and nods towards Rey, encouraging him to come out there

He is eternally grateful to her friends. It feels good to have someone on his side.

Maybe they know her thoughts better than he did, for once. Maybe she won't push me away. Maybe....

He walks out there, pure shaking all over. He's not felt this vulnerable in years. 

He walks up to her. Her eyes are closed. She is quite tipsy. She is so cute tipsy, he thinks to himself. No, gorgeous. 

_ The things this woman does to me....she is everything. _

He dares to touch her, his hands sliding to her waist. 

Her eyes fly open, surprised.

"Ben", she whispers. He tries to keep his head straight but she has not whispered his name in a long time and now he can't breathe.

"That's my name, Rey" he says, moving with her. "Don't push me away"

"What are you doing?" Her arms are at her sides. He doesn't let it stop him. 

"You looked like you needed a dance partner. Do you want someone else to dance with you?"

"No Ben" she tries to cover how badly she does NOT want it to be someone else yet blocks him from hearing her thoughts as they tumble in her mind.

_ This man, what he does to me...... _

She places her hands on his biceps, barely stopping herself from sighing out loud. His arms....

Zorri and Jannah high five each other from the sidelines while Rose bounces in place. 

"Did you play this song?"

"I didn't Rey, I promise"

Her eyes go to her friends and they smile widely. Zorii points at Ben, mouthing at her to look at him. 

"Look at me Rey'"

"Don't talk, Ben. Don't fuck it up"

She lays her head on his chest, hearing his heart racing. 

Just for a minute. Just pretend for a minute that everything is normal again, Rey.

He smells amazing.

His buries his nose in her hair. He slowly lowers his face to her neck, inhaling her, tightening his hold on her. 

She smells amazing.

They move together, like they used to. She anticipates his every move. She knows him so well. 

He can't stop himself as he lightly grinds into her. She can't stop herself as she grinds her hips against his pelvis. It's like their bodies call to each other. 

But it's not just about sex. It's pure passion. Heat. They just can't help it.

His lips press against the skin in front of her ear. She digs her nails into his arms in response and her knees almost give out as he rolls his hips into hers, just slightly, enough to elicit a slight moan from her, almost undoing him. 

_ This is not about you getting laid, Solo. Calm down. Talk to her. _

He leans down to be completely open with her. 

"I love you Rey. I always will"

"I love you too Ben, I always have"

"Leave with me, please" he whispers, his breath hot on her ear, his large hands fairly covering her entire back. The heat coming from him made her body throb.

"Okay" 

She pulls him by the hand. All he can do is follow this woman, this queen, off the dance floor and out the door.

Zorii breathes normal for the first time in weeks while Jannah squeals and Rose fans herself. They all hug and high five like teenagers at a school dance. 

"They are killing me" she says out loud.

~*~

They go to his room silently, her ahead of him, her hand in his. She is completely in charge. 

The door closes and they are all over each other, clothes flying in every direction. She crawls up onto the bed and he follows. He wraps his arms around her naked form. Her skin against his almost pushes him over the edge. He tries to turn her around.

"No Ben. Take me from behind. Now"

He grabs her breast in one hand as his arms encircles her hips. He thrusts up into her then makes himself slow down. He's needed her for too long to hurry this. 

Somewhere deep inside he knows she is using him but he pushes it away. He is high on her and can't process any emotion other than how much he loves her.

Afterwards they sleep. He wakes up during the night to find her on top of him. 

She never kisses him or speaks, not even the third time she wakes him up, rubbing her rear against him. He doesn't reject her. He's incapable of rejecting her. After all, he belongs to her. 

He wakes alone the next morning, not surprised but yet it hurts. It hurts like hell. 

No, he didn't have her back yet. But it was something. It had to be something. Right before he falls back to sleep he realizes the sheets smell of sex and her. He dreams of her.

He flew better at the next practice later that day. Poe didn't even have to correct him.

"That was awesome, Solo" he told him "You were like your old self, damn man" Poe spoke into Ben's helmet mike.

Upon landing, he saw Jannah waiting for him. She's been crying.

Ben climbed down the ladder some then jumped off. 

"Jannah, what is it? Are the girls okay?" 

"She's leaving Ben. Tonight"

"WHAT???" he hollered "WHERE IS SHE GOING?"

"Back home, Ben. She's packing. We tried to stop her. She's so stupid!"

"We both are, Jannah"

"What happened last night Ben? Did you two fight?"

He threw his fighter helmet and snatched his gloves off, throwing them too.

"No Jannah, we didn't fight"

"Then what happened Ben??"

"We fucked, Jannah! What do you think happened??"

"Well shit! We thought that would fix it!'

"I knew it wouldn't Jannah"

"Then why did you do it??" 

"Cause I'm a man and I love her Jannah! Do you realize how long it's been? Do you realize what she DOES to me?"

"Ben. I'm sorry. I'm sorry it didn't work"

"What did she say? Where are her thoughts Jannah?"

"I guess she feels used"

"Well guess what? She used me too! Three times!"

Jannah blushes. 

"I'm sorry Jannah, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable"

He sits down on a crate.

"What do I do? I don't know what to say to her. She said last night that she loved me. What does she want from me??"

He stood and punched the wall, leaving blood. His knuckles were busted. He shook his hand and wiped the blood on his uniform.

Jannah walks up to him.

"Don't give up Ben. Just don't give up. We are on your side"

"When is she leaving?"

"Tonight"

"DAMMIT!!" 

"Don't stop Ben. Go to her, okay?"

  
  
  
  
  



	63. Listen to Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter to the song "Listen to Your Heart" by Roxette.

She's leaving, Ben thinks.

She's really leaving.

There's nothing left for her here now. The First Order has been defeated, again. They did what they had set out to do.

But in the process, they had lost each other.

Rey felt used. Ben had used her last night. She couldn't stay here, she thought. She wouldn't be his whore again.

She went back to her room to change just as Ben showed up to say goodbye to the girls.

Chewie would take them home and then return. Ben had insisted on the girls and Rey taking his ship. The Falcon was like home for the girls, just as it was for him as a child.

Ben watches Chewie load up the Falcon. He pulls Chewie to the side.

"Chewie, I don't have enough words. Thank you for going with her. I wish it was me. I trust you with my family"

Chewie moans. He hates this.

Ben's heart hurts.

It is past sundown. Rey had decided to travel after the girls fell asleep. It would be hard to co-pilot with them running around. 

Ben carries each girl and passes both to Chewie. He can't bring himself to go onto the ship.

Ben kisses each on the forehead as Chewie carries them onboard.

"I promise I'll see you soon. Be good girls. I promise it won't be long I'll see you" 

He has to walk away. As he does, his tears flow. This is pure hell.

Rey returns.

She is wearing her old clothes, the ones he hates. He's so pissed at her subtle message. 

But it gives him an idea.

"Rey I need to get something off the ship. Give me a second? Can you do that?" 

"Yeah, hurry up Ben" she says and walks off. He goes onboard and grabs Chewie.

"Chewie, help me look for something, hurry"

He goes to find his sweater in her things. The one with the hole.

He finds it in her trunk. The fact that she was taking it with her gives him a bit of hope. Maybe she's not quite ready to let go of him after all.

He snatches it and pulls off his jacket and his black shirt, tossing them to the side.

He puts it on. He goes to search for a black tunic, Kylo's tunic. He'd kept it on the falcon where she couldn't find it. She'd throw it away. Oh wait, he still had his pants from that day and his old boots too.

She wants to dress like her old self, he can play that game too. But with a twist. 

He puts the black tunic over it, looking all-for-the-world like Kylo Ren. He goes back down the ramp and casually leans against the ship. 

Chewie shakes his head and goes back up the ramp. These Solos make him tired.

She comes around the corner, sees him and cannot believe it. He's dressed like Kylo! That old tunic! 

Ugh, he's a pain in the ass. But damn, she forgot that she sorta had the hots for Ren. The man was too damn fine. Dammit! 

She walks past him, steadying her breath, throwing up a thicker wall so he couldn't feel how he just made her heart skip. 

The whole time a whisper is in her head.... _ Rey......Rey......stop ignoring me Rey..... _

It's the first time he's reached out to her in weeks. He used to try all day and all night. Then just when he saw her. Then just at night. Then he just gave up. 

He watches her walk towards the falcon. 

_ Rey! He pleads, you don't have to talk. You don't have to listen. Just look at me. Let me look at your face one more time before you leave. Please Rey! Look at me! It's all I ask. After everything..... everything....6 years Rey....you don't owe me anything....but please just look at me. _

She turns her head but not her body. Just a look over her shoulder.

The jacket is gone. He is only wearing the sweater. 

THAT sweater.

She had not seen him wear it in years. She sometimes wore it to sleep in. It was her favorite material possession. It was THE sweater.

The one from that day. The day he became Ben. 

Seeing him standing there in it, wearing not only the sweater but even the same pants and boots from that day, her heart skipped. She flashed back to Kef Bir.

"I did want to take your hand..... Ben's hand"

She had saved him in that sweater.

He had came after her in that sweater.

He had called to her in that sweater. 

He had climbed a damn cliff to get to her in that sweater.

He had saved her while wearing that sweater.

Their first kiss, he was wearing that sweater. She had clung to it after he died, putting it on until he found her again.

It represented not only his redemption but the beginning of their relationship, their decision to be together.

He wore that sweater right before he first made love to her.

For just a second, a millisecond, a few bricks came down from the wall. She almost cried.

Ben snatched the opportunity

_ Rey, I'm sorry, I did what I thought I had to, don't go. PLEASE _

She turned her head away from him. But he felt it, a little hope. A little catch in her breath. A little hesitation. He seized it.

"Rey!!!" He hollers out loud at her back. 

One last attempt.

No, there will never be one last attempt, he thought, I'll never give up. She never gave up on me years ago, I'll never stop loving her. I'll never stop trying to win her back.

She stops, her back turned from him. His voice has always got her. Goosebumps rise up on her arms, like a low burning fire under her skin. 

She rubs her arms. He senses it, the fire he's just lit. A few more bricks have fallen.

He takes three steps. She starts to walk away. 

He speaks out loud.

"Rey....please....it was stupid. Rey....."

She stops, between his voice calling her and that sweater, damn, the memories overwhelm her. She tries not to look back. His face, his body, his voice, have always been her undoing but she fell for him last night, not again.

She glances over her shoulder.

Damn him....she thinks, but she doesn't move

He walks a bit closer, close enough that every hair on her body stands at attention. He still does this to me, she thinks. She thinks perhaps he always will. 

"Rey...look at me. Please. Look at me" he says out loud while throwing all of his emotions, all of his love, at her. 

A bit more of that wall comes down.

He is only a few feet from her. 

He whispers to her familiar words…..

"You have single handedly ruined a man and saved another man......" 

Her breath catches in her throat, her hands cover her face, trying not to feel the emotions from his vow to her six years ago.

He stands right behind her, still afraid to touch her. He continues his marriage vows to her, he has not forgotten them.

"You are everything. My everything.

So many people call you friend, hero, Jedi. I call you mine" 

He pauses, takes a deep breath and continues

"Can I call you mine again? I need you Rey. You complete me. Will you please keep my name? Be my wife again? Stay with me?", he repeatd those same words he spoke to her on that lake. Their lake.

He sighs, "I cannot live without you. I'm sorry I hurt you"

She lowers her head, allowing a sob to come from her body, squeezing herself tighter.

He dares to touch her shoulders, turning her towards him. She feels that fire that started with hearing him say her name, that low flame, grows and spreads throughout her body as his hands slide down her back. 

Her fists ball up and she lifts them to meet his chest, crying harder.

"You fucking asshole. You ass. I hate you. I hate you. You said to her 'You are mine'! I thought those words were just for me! You kissed her! I would've helped you fight her! You doubted me! You thought I couldn't do it! But I could! I could Ben!!!"

Her whisper has turned into a yell

He refuses to let go, letting her yell, letting her hit him. He holds her tight. If she really wants to pull away from him, she'll kick his ass with some Jedi move. She could do it. She had done it before. 

The fact that she hasn't flung him away tells him she doesn't want him to let go.

"You always think I'm not strong enough!! I am!! You wouldn't even let me connect to you!! I had a plan!! A fucking plan Ben!! We could've done it TOGETHER!! BUT YOU SEDUCED HER BEN!! YOU KISSED HER!! YOU TOUCHED HER LIKE YOU TOUCH ME!!"

She i screaming but not pushing him away. In her anger she has not even realized she is grabbing his sweater, digging her face into his chest and slowly letting go, leaning into his body.

He slowly moves his hand up to her chin and lifts it to his face.

"Do you want to leave? I'll let you go. I will. I will come see the girls but I'll let you go. Is that what you want? I'll die every day when I wake up alone, I'll stay here and do the best I can to help. I'll stay here and leave you alone, just tell me that's what you want" 

He is lying. He can't not try again, try forever to get her to fall in love with him again. Because he will always, always be hopelessly in love with her. She is his breath, his soul.

"I'm a fool Rey. The stupidest man ever. I did what I thought was best. I was terrified of losing my little girls, my little Rey's. I wasn't thinking straight. You are right. I should've listened to you"

She is finally silent so he throws everything out there at her

"I was disgusted at her. I lied. I hated touching her. It made me sick. Oh God Rey, please, please forgive me. Even if you go, please try to hear me. I'm so sorry"

He lowers his head to hers.

She feels hot tears come from his eyes.

"Ben, in all you've said, there's one thing you haven't said....."

She whispers through their Dyad,

_ You haven't said the one thing I need to hear.... _

He pulls away, his eyes blurry with tears. He looks deep at her hazel eyes, those eyes than enraptured him when he was the most lost.

"I love you Rey. You are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy and I love you. I need you. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME"

He can't stop himself. He sinks his lips onto hers, pulling her to him. He has not kissed her in so long.

Her fists uncurl. Her hands fight their way out from between their chests, sliding up, up around his neck, intwining their way into his hair. 

She is still angry but he feels so good. He smells so good. Damn him.....she pulls away from his kiss.

"You asshole, I'm still mad Ben" she whispers. 

"I know Rey, make love to me anyway", he begs her, using the words he's used every time they fight.

"Take me to bed Ben" she whispers.

He leans down and scoops her up, bridal style and turns towards his quarters.

Chewy looks on, smiling. He is proud of them. For years he had practically begged Han and Leia to put each other and little Ben first. 

He loves his niece's and is once again confident that they won't endure what Ben has suffered through watching his parents marriage fall apart.

He is glad to babysit. Plus they are sound asleep, he laughed.

Ben is going to be sweet and slow with his estranged wife but she is having none of that. She is angry and wants it rough. 

"Put me on that wall Ben, show me that you want me, only me"

She does't have to ask twice. He is hard as a rock right now. 

"Set me down and take my clothes off Ben, but not yours"

"Yes ma'am" he says, trying not to smile. Damn....this woman....

No way in hell any other woman could be as sexy as she is, he thinks. 

He pulls her clothes off quickly while she kisses him, pulling his hair between her fingers.

He has a feeling she is planning to tease him to the brink of insanity. 

"I am" she purrs into his ear, hearing his inner thoughts.

He growls deep inside his throat.

She is completely nude and tells him to take his sweater off

"But nothing else"

He almost tears it off.

"Don't tear it! That's my sweater now, remember?"

He smiles and grabs her, lifting her to the wall.

"No more smiling. Kiss me"

She purposefully pushes her breasts into his chest, knowing he loves that. She grinds his cock forcefully. She feels his largeness against her clit. Oh damn, she wasn't expecting that. She moans. 

"Damn Rey, you are gorgeous. You are the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. I love to kiss you and ONLY you. I only want you. Please believe me, oh God Rey, you are killing me right now"

She continues her game, teasing him. She is trying not to let herself fall into his spell.

"Damn you Ben. I am so mad at you"

"I know....damn Rey, quit....I can't....no, don't quit...."

She is grinding into him, kissing him, pulling at his hair. He is enraptured by her, the feel of her against him, her tongue, her lips, the sounds she is making. She is close to her climax, anger fueling her lust. 

Well if she wants to tease him, at least he'd make it worth her effort. He does deserve this punishment, after all, he thinks.

He reaches under her and slides his finger inside of her, thrusting his hand up roughly while thrusting his hips up at her. 

"Come for me Rey, Oh please, please come for me. Gods I love watching you come"

She screams his name as she comes on his hand. 

Watching her pushes him over the edge. He releases inside his pants, which is torture. 

He moans. 

He turns her away from the wall and lays her on the bed, looking at her body. She is always so beautiful after having sex with him. 

"Rey, dammit, you got me. That was hell"

"Good, you deserved it"

  
  


He is afraid she'll run off if he goes to shower.

"Please stay here Rey, don't leave yet, please?" 

She moans and seductively rolls over and grabs his pillow, moving her bare ass to tease him again. 

"I need a nap anyways" she purrs again, messing with his head. 

"Damn it Rey, you are so sexy"

He knows she needs the reassurance from him that he only desires her. But he isn't lying. 

He strips his pants and boots off and turns the water on.

Within just a few seconds she is there.

She keeps her distance, reaching down to stroke him. 

"I'm trying hard not to enjoy this punishment, Rey"

"You better not. I'm still not going to let you make love to me"

He grabs her chin. 

"Look at me Rey'"

Water is cascading down both of their bodies as he stares at her until she reluctantly makes eye contact.

"Quit fooling me Rey. I'll let you tease me. I'll do whatever you want me to do to your body. I'll worship your body, do you hear me? But this is not my Rey. You are pushing the hurt away and covering it with your physical need. You want me? Fine. If you are horny, tell me. I'll finger you again. I'll eat you out until you scream"

He growls the words at her, pulling her to him roughly. 

"You are the ONLY woman I've ever wanted to touch, to kiss, to lick, to fuck, you hear me? I'll make you come all night long, Rey Solo. If you want to fuck me, I'll let you. I'll fuck you over and over till you can't walk. But STOP THIS. Quit hiding your pain behind sex. This won't fix anything. Be my Rey. Be my sweet, sensitive, funny, beautiful, kind, loving Rey. Then, after we talk and we work this shit out, you can be my sexy hot wild woman again. Cause as bad as I want to fuck your brains out right now, I want to make love to you even more"

He pauses, sighing. "Let me in Rey, please. Oh please Rey"

He stares at her, holding her face with both hands, gently stroking with his thumbs.

Her bottom lip starts quivering. 

The bricks start falling. He can feel her again. Her emotions start screaming at him. 

He grabs onto their connection, sending words into her mind like arrows on fire.

_ You know you can take whatever you want, Rey. _

He once was so stupid to think he could just take her. But the opposite is true. It always has been. She's the one with the ability to take whatever she wants. But she doesn't have to take it. He'll give it to her freely. 

Her eyes water and she slowly melts.

"Ben, hold me. Please"

"Always" he says, scooping up his bride.

He carries her to bed and dries her off as she cries. He dries himself off and lays with her, whispering through the Dyad.

_ I was so stupid Rey. I panicked. I didn't let you in. I just thought if I could get close enough to her and kill her, we could get to them _

_ But Ben, right in front of me? Why don't you trust my abilities to fight with you? I'll never forget seeing you kiss her. You told her that you were  _ **_hers_ ** _. _

He speaks out loud.

"I lied Rey. I was lying. You do know I didn't mean that? I only kissed her for a quick second so I could unclip my saber without her noticing. Rey, I had to do something!"

"I was trying to tell you what we could do!"

"I know! I just panicked! The girls were connecting to me! They were scared!" 

She sits up and looks at him, confused.

"Wait, that's a first.... right?"

"It happened first on the falcon before you showed up. I reached out to them and I heard them cry for me. I had their voices crying in my head and you trying to concoct a plan in my head. I didn't mean to push you out, I was trying to talk to them, calm them down. I'm only used to one voice at a time in my head. Not all three of my girls at once talking to me!" 

"But you are right Rey. I shouldn't have done what I did, I should've connected to you"

"Oh wow Ben I didn't realize"

Now he becomes angry at her. jumping up off the bed.

"You never would let me tell you!!"

That makes her angry again.

"How would you feel if it was me?"

"What?"

"What if the Knight was a man and I walked up and told him I was his and kissed him? Even though it was to save the girls? And you were watching? Because you know how you feel when I tell you I belong to you? That's how I feel when you tell me I am yours! You could've said ANYTHING but that to her!!"

"Umm, no. I would've long stopped it before then"

"What if you couldn't get to him? For whatever reason? And instead of speaking to you and trusting you, I just whored myself to him?

"I didn't fuck her! I only kissed her!"

"Well in my heart you did fuck her, Ben. And I know you. If some other man kisses me and I tell him I belong to him, you'd feel like he fucked me"

"Would you?" He asks.

"Would I what? Fuck someone?"

"Yeah, if it meant saving them"

She jumps up, furious. He is having trouble focusing. She is completely nude. He is a bit light headed.

He really hopes they can reconcile so he can keep the promise he made in the shower.

"What is wrong with you?? Why would you even ask me that?"

"Because you would do whatever you had to do for them. Even though I was 1000% WRONG Rey, do you hear me? I WAS WRONG. I panicked. I should've let you in my mind and realized you could kill her nasty ass! But I PANICKED"

Then he jumps up. He grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist. He throws a sheet at her and she wraps it around herself. 

"I'M SORRY REY?? OKAY?? I'M SORRY!! I'm not a perfect man, okay?? I really thought it was the only way!! But you, you just want to throw it all away?? You are the one ruining us, NOT ME. This is THE worst thing I've ever done!!

Losing Dad and Mom doesn't compare! Hurting innocent people is NOTHING compared to hurting YOU. I was so abusive to you, you forgave me. I killed my parents, you forgave me. Is your forgiveness ability just gone? Did I use it all up?

How can you forgive me for all that but not this? Just tell me, tell me now. Is it really over? Are we really over?"

He stops, breathing deep and hard from the emotional rollercoaster he is on. She turns her back to him. She has to breathe for a minute. Her head is pounding 

He speaks again, only it is quieter, breaking with emotion.

"Decide. Decide right now. I've waited for weeks. I've left you alone. I've laid here every night, missing you. And then last night, you tease me and you fuck me THREE TIMES AND LEFT, like it meant NOTHING. You never even spoke to me the whole time!"

She whispers, "It wasn't nothing, it was everything"

But he doesn't hear her.

"Because it meant something to me Rey! It meant something! There's never going to be another one for me, Rey Solo. I'll never even think about anyone else! So you can go. Go find someone. I'll stay here and be alone"

She spins around and screams,

"DID YOU HEAR ME? IT MEANT EVERYTHING BEN! Last night meant EVERYTHING!"

She finally takes a good look at him.

She's not seen him like this. She didn't notice last night because she was tipsy and horny. She can actually see his ribs. His muscles aren't as defined. She'd heard he had not been training with anyone. He wasn't eating enough, clearly. He is more pale than usual. He has circles under his eyes. He is shaking.

She realizes he is making himself sick.

Over her. 

He really means it. He feels awful. He looks awful.

No, she thinks, he could never look awful. He is beautiful. 

He is her Ben.

She begins to cry.

"It meant everything Ben. I missed you so much. It felt so good when you touched me"

He wants to hold her but he is afraid to move, "Then why did you leave this morning?"

"I don't know. I don't even recognize myself anymore"

"But I recognize you Rey. Nobody knows you. But I do, remember? You are amazing"

He takes one step.

"And smart and funny."

He takes another step.

"And sexy as hell. Rey, you've ruined me for other women"

He is standing in front of her.

"And mine, if you want to be"

She launches herself at him kissing him.

She speaks through the Dyad, ripping the wall down her her hands

_ Ben..... baby, I'm not leaving.....I love you. _

He pulls away from her mouth, grabbing her face with both hands

"Really?" he asks out loud, "you aren't leaving me? Do you forgive me?"

"No, I'm not leaving you"

She pulls away and looks up at him, serious.

"And no, I don't forgive you"

He looks down, confused.

"Ben, forgiveness takes time. I will forgive you. But for now let's just stop talking. Let's just start right now and move on. I want to take care of you. You always took care of me, when I was sick, when I was down. I promise I'll stay here with you, okay? I promise I will forgive you, besides....."

She smiles, running one hand up in his hair, rubbing her fingernails on his scalp. She digs the nails of her other hand into his bicep, hinting at what she wants him to do to her.

He groans, gripping her ass with both hands. He needs her. Not just to fuck. To consume. To devour.

"You made me a promise, remember?"

He speaks in that deep voice she loves.

"No, no I'm breaking that promise."

Her eyes flicker with hurt. He places his fingers on her lips, silencing any questions. 

"I will not just fuck you. I did that last night. You deserve more. We deserve more. I want to make love to you. I want to be face to face with you Rey. I want to take it slow and touch you and feel you. I want to watch you come apart around me, under me, with me. That's the Rey I want. Sweet, beautiful, fiery and passionate. So no, I won't just fuck you. I need more. I desperately need to make love to you. I love you. Only you. Only  _ ever  _ you."

Now her eyes are brimming with tears as she slightly smiles and brushes her lips against his. Then she nods.

"That's what I want too. That's what I need. Make love to me Ben"

"Are you still mine Rey? I'm still yours"

"Always Ben. Always"

A wicked grin comes across her lips.

She pulls his towel off. He grins.

"Oh God woman, you are killing me" he said, lifting her in his arms.

"Well, it's a hell of a way to go, ain't it Solo?"


	64. Epilogue #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that our space babies are back together, everyone is breathing better! Especially me!

Ben and Rey walk into the mess hall together. Holding hands. 

Rose notices first. And lets out a whoop.

She points to them, not even able to form words. 

"IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!" erupts a loud voice. That would be Zorii. 

Jannah just drops her head on the table in relief.

Poe smiles, widely. 

Finn smiles just a bit. Like one corner going up. Rey beams at him. 

They sit together, Ben slipping his arm around her, possessively. Rey looks at him strangely and notices him watching someone. 

Leal. 

There's a bit of a staring contest happening. Rey reaches up, grabs Ben's face and kisses him. Not a long kiss. Just a peck. But enough. 

She whispers to him.

"Calm down, tiger. I'm yours, remember?" 

He wants to go back to bed. Now. 

His stomach rumbles and he's brought back to reality. 

_ Eat. Then back to bed with you….. _

_ You forget, you have a mission today. You're leaving, remember? _

_ Shit! Damn. Maybe I can put it off?  _

_ No. You have top secret stuff to go do.  _

_ You know, there is a bed in the ship I'm taking….. _

Rey giggles out loud.

"Okay, enough for me….." Poe says and he's gone. 

"You two weird us all out with the staring and giggling and silent talking thing. You know that, right?" Zorii says. Then she winks. "It's adorable. Fuck! How'd I become a fucking romantic?"

She looks for Poe. 

"Dameron! Wait for your fiance. We have important shit to discuss. In my room. Now!"

The two practically run out of the mess hall. 

"Seems we've started something." Ben points out. "So he can shirk his duties but I have to leave my newly found woman? Hell no."

He pulls her closer, watching her eat ravenously. Her appetite is back. So is his. 

"Give me a bite. So I don't have to let go of you."

She feeds him off her fork. 

"And….I'm out." Rose says. 

"Mmm-hmmm" Rey nods. "I saw you and Rothbert this morning. If you're going to make out, can you do it further away from our window?"

Rose isn't one to blush. She simply puts her hand on her hip. 

"You're one to talk! I heard about you two in the corridors! Did you find Rey's belt yet, Ben?" 

Ben is the one who blushes. Which is always funny because of his ears. He reaches up to cover them when they start to burn. 

"Aww baby, don't cover them! I love them!"

Rey swats his hands away. 

"Yeah, y'all are too much…." Finn says, standing to leave. He pauses and gets serious. Ben and Rey look at him, confused. 

"Hey, listen. I haven't said much to you two lately. I tried to stay neutral. I'm really happy you two worked it out."

Ben and Rey are speechless. 

"Really Finn?" Rey says, tears in her eyes. 

"Yeah. I owe you two an apology. I've been an ass. I hated what being apart did to both of you." 

He looks at Ben.

"Yes, even you, Ben. I have to say this. I was blown away at how you went after the girls. How you tried to fight to save Rey. How you stormed in that castle, no plan, just ran in there. You are a good man. I see that now. You're good to her. And those kids. It made me sick to see Rey hurting without you and I wanted to tell her to take you back. I should have told her. I can see now that you two are good together. The Force didn't feel right again until last night. The Force wills it. And I'm happy for you two. I really am."

Rey is crying. She jumps up and runs around the table, hugging him. 

"Thank you Finn. I needed that so much."

Jannah stands and hugs her. Rey whispers in her ear. 

"Thank you Jannah for looking out for Ben. I know you did. Thank you."

Jannah looks at Ben and he winks at her. 

"Thanks Jannah." he says. 

"You'd do the same for me."

"I would. Hey Finn?"

"Yeah?" Finn replies, unsure of what Ben's about to say. 

Ben stands and walks to Finn. He sticks his hand out. 

"Truce?"

Finn takes his hand. "Yeah man, truce."

Ben yanks Finn to his chest. Finn lets out a whimper of surprise. So do Rey and Jannah. 

Ben looks down at the shorter man. 

"Just so you know, if you hurt Jannah, I'll kick your ass. Got it?"

"Umm...yeah man. We cool. I got it. We cool."

Finn smiles and takes Jannah's hand in his. They walk out together. 

Ben sits again, pulling Rey down in his lap. 

She places a hand on his cheek, looking into his honey colored eyes. 

"You….you are full of surprises, Solo."

~*~

The girls are thrilled to see Mama kiss Papa again. The couple finds two little things wrapped around their legs, giggling. 

They weren't so happy to hear that Mama and Papa are leaving on a mission. 

"Come here. Bring the lip with you." Ben tells Leiliana as he sits down.

He makes a big to-do about pushing her pouty lip back in, causing her to smile. 

"Yes, Mama is going with me. Papa has to go do a big job. I need her help."

Driea wiggles her way up onto his other leg.

"But Papa, last time bad things happened."

Ben hangs his head. 

"Look at me. Both of you." Rey sits next to him. "I can't promise you nothing bad will ever happen. Life is bad things, sometimes. But I can promise you this. I will always be your Papa. I will always love you and be proud of you. Besides, we have to come back because two little girls are turning  _ five _ and we have to celebrate, remember?"

They both squeal very loudly and Ben flinches. 

_ Nothing like cake to distract them. _

_ You are so good with them.  _

_ Good. And tired. I'm too old for this.  _

_ Well, that's your punishment for robbing the cradle, old man.  _

_ I'll show you an old man, Solo.  _

Ben stands and turns, still holding two squealers and passes one to his wife. It still feels like an advanced Jedi trick. 

They settle them into bed and kiss them good night. Aja comes in and hugs them both. She's been so patient and understanding with the girls. They will miss her. Poe and Zorii are adopting her and she is already glowing with happiness, having finally found a home and a family.

~*~

"So, where are we going?" asks Rey. 

"Babe, come sit with me." Ben says, putting the ship on autopilot.

"Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of that."

Ben takes her hand and pulls her to the living quarters of the ship. They sit across from each other.

"Jakku" Ben says, immediately reaching and pulling her into his lap when she starts shaking. She doesn't panic or cry. But the deep rooted fear in her subconscious seeps out in her hands. He grasps both hands in one of his. 

"It's going to be okay Rey. Everything will be okay."

"But Ben…."

"That's where my mission has been. Weeks ago, I went to Poe and told him I wanted to atone for my mistakes."

"But Ben, you've done that. You're a good husband and father and you've helped the village grow and you destroyed the First Order again."

"I wanted to do more."

"What did you do?" 

"You'll see it. Rey...Plutt is dead."

She turns quickly in his arms, her mouth open wide. 

"What.did.you.do.Ben"

"What makes you think I did anything??"

He says this with his best innocent-of-all- wrongdoing face.

"When you left last week. You killed him, didn't you?"

"Well, he escaped custody, Rey."

"Ben…..did you tell him you were my husband?"

"I told him you were the wife of Kylo Ren"

"And you told him you were Kylo Ren?"

"Maybe……" he peeks up at her.

"I can't decide if I'm mad or if I'm turned on that I'm the wife of Kylo Ren."

He looks at her confused.

"Wait…...I thought you didn't like Kylo."

Rey forgets about Jakku for the time-being and decides to torture her soulmate. She turns, straddling him.

"Didn't mean I didn't want to fuck him."

Ben's eyes go wide.

"WAIT…..I can't decide if I'm jealous or turned on."

She taps him on the nose. 

"That….we will explore later. You still got those clothes?"

"Ummmm…..yeah…..why….."

"Later. Now I wanna hear about Jakku and what you've been doing."

"You'll see….tell me more about this Kylo kink you got going on."

She whispers in his ear and they make good use of the large bed onboard.

~*~

Rey grips his hand tightly as they exit the ship. He holds onto her, knowing this could bring back memories she's tried to forget. 

"You okay babe?"

"Ben…..this isn't Nimaa. Where are we?"

He stands behind her, wrapping her in his arms.

"Rey….this is Nimaa."

She turns in his arms.

"What….Ben….what did you do?"

"Here, I'll show you."

He takes her hand again and walks with her to the center of the outpost. Which now looks like a town.

"That…" he says, pointing to the first building. "is the orphanage and that" he points to the building next to it "is the medbase."

He points out the law enforcement building, the greenhouses off in the distance, the trade school, the other schools and lastly, the water facility. 

"Water? They have water Ben?"

"Yes, sweetheart, they have a consistent water supply, run by solar energy."

She turns, tears streaming down her face.

"Ben...they have water…."

He puts his hands on her cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe her tears. 

"Yes. They do."

"But...they….they have an orphanage? No more scavenging?"

His heart is rent in pieces at the sight of his Rey. 

"My sweet scavenger girl.. My beautiful scavenger girl. There will be no more scavenging here. They have a real roof over their heads and water and a food supply and medical care. They can go to school and learn trades and they can choose to stay or leave. No more Plutt. No more portions. No more starvation or slavery or beatings. No more sex trade. Just...a home."

She's actually sobbing.

"I would do anything to go back in time and find you. Bring you with me. Give you all this. But I can't. So this will have to do."

She grabs him and kisses him, the sound of children playing off in the distance fading away as they kiss deeper, her tears wetting his face. 

She lets go of him, reaching up to wipe her own tears off of his cheeks. 

"You are….how? How did you do this?"

"Mom"

"Leia? What? How?"

"Turns out, she had saved even more than we initially thought."

"You did this with your own money?"

"Hers. Her money."

"Ben, that was money left for you. You did this. Not her. My Ben did this."

"Would you ever want to come help here? Volunteer? You could teach machinery repair."

"You could teach carpentry. We could teach fighting skills! Together! Rose could come teach too!"

"You wouldn't want to  _ live here,  _ though, right?" 

"Oh no. No. I love Driea. Our house and the lake and I really miss Violet"

She stands on his feet. She does that sometimes, to get closer to his face. He doesn't mind. 

Her face is aglow in the Jakku sun. He counts her freckles again. 

"You are…. something, Ben, you know that?"

"So are you, my scavenger girl"

  
  
  
  
  



	65. Love Bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Thank you Thank you to my lovely AMAZING readers! 
> 
> This chapter was solely for me and I decided to add it. Love Bites by Def Leppard is my all time favorite song. I had this mental image of Kylo listening to it torturing himself over Rey way back before my fic. 
> 
> So this is just a little thing I did and changed it to fit the end of my story. 
> 
> Thank you again for the kudos and comments!

"Chewie, can I fly the falcon? Me and Rey, alone?"

<You don't have to ask. It's your ship>

"No Chewie, I'll always ask. It's yours"

<The Falcon belongs to the Solo family. Always will. If you won't accept it, give it to Rey and the girls. Ben, I'm too old for this. I'm going home to be with my family>

"Chewie, are you serious?"

<Yes little Ben. I'm serious>

"I will miss you Uncle Chewie"

Ben suddenly can't breathe because he's buried in fur. Also because his uncle is squeezing his breath out of him. He hugs back, desperately thankful to at least have one family member.

"Can we come see you?"

<I'd be very upset if you didn't little Ben. I need to see those girls grow up>

"Chewie, I'll never ever be able to make up for what I've done. All I can do is take care of what I have"

Ben has never felt physically small but in one moment he did. Two enormous furry hands grip his face.

<You are a good father and husband. They are watching you. They are proud. I am too>

Ben can't help it. He cries into his uncle's fur.

"I love you Uncle Chewie, I'll miss you"

<I have always loved you, little Ben. I'm only a hyperspeed jump away>

~*~

"Really Ben? Just us?"

"Yeah" he says, holding his wife in his arms. He nods to the door. "Let's go"

They sneak out, not really knowing why. It's not like they have reason to keep it a secret. It's her ship now, after all. But they still giggle, holding hands, running in the darkness, like two teenagers. 

He sits in the co-pilot seat. She just looks at him. "No, fly"

"It's not my ship"

"I want to see you fly it. Please? For me?"

He stands and kisses her. He takes his dad's old seat. Rey takes the other seat, smiling.

Then they are airborne.

She thinks back to her short time with Han. She knows wherever he is, he is so happy to see his boy flying his ship. 

Ben hears her thoughts. 

"Tell me about that day. Tell me what he was like with you"

Rey tells him all about it.

"He wanted you to work for him? Wow. He never did that before. It was always him and Chewie. He really did like you Rey. He knew you were special. Dad was never easily impressed. He saw in you what I saw. What I still see"

_ She saved me Dad. You were right. She is something special _

Rey feels tears flow down her cheeks. 

"You saved yourself Ben, I just held the mirror. But I'm glad you are able to talk to him. I think he can hear us and see us"

Ben reaches over, grinning, and tickles her inner thigh. Rey laughs out loud.

"Maybe Dad doesn't need to watch right now"

"Just fly, Solo" she said, hitting the buttons he had instructed her to hit earlier

"I don't know why watching you co-pilot this hunk of junk turns me on"

"Everything turns you on, Solo"

"Yep, everything YOU do turns me on, MRS Solo"

"Hey, Ben?"

He looks at her "What babe?"

"Punch it"

He laughs out loud and throws them into hyperspace. She loves it. 

When the falcon settles, Ben hit some buttons Rey wasn't familiar with. Then he looks at her, winks and turns a knob. Music begins to fill the cockpit. 

"Wow! Ben! Music? How? I never knew about it!"

"Dad put it in for me. I asked him to do it when I was about.....nine? I had gotten into music"

"Oh Ben, I love hearing all these stories. Tell me more"

He tells her about all the times him and Han flew. Sometimes with Chewie. Mostly alone. She watches his face relax, his eyes light up. These are memories he had repressed. Things that were washed away as he got older. 

Now that he was truly free from the dark side, the memories had returned. She listened but she mostly watched him. 

"Ben, please pass these to the girls. They need to know this. It's their heritage"

"Yeah", then he was quiet. 

They continue flying, looping, spinning. The music playing in the background.

Then the first notes of a song begin to play. Ben sucks in a breath. Rey looks over at him. 

Her husband is....blushing?

"What? What is it Ben? What's this song?"

"Well I'll be damned" 

"What?"

"This song. I used to listen to it on repeat. I hated it. I tortured myself with this song"

"Then why did you listen on repeat?" 

"Because of you"

He reaches over with his long arms, lifting the armrest on her seat. He grabs her waist and pulls her to him in one swift move. 

He settles her in his lap, she is straddling him. He reaches around and switches the falcon to auto pilot.

"I would listen to this and think about you. Think about making love to you. Touching you. Kissing you, everywhere. Feeling every inch of your body pressed against me. I used to torture myself thinking you were making love to someone else. It was hell"

Ben buries his face in her neck, smelling her scent deeply. He slips his hand up the back of her dress, gently rubbing her back.

"Drove myself nuts"

He kisses her neck, moving lower. She moans and ran both hands into his hair.

"It was torture. Sweet hellish torture" 

He whispers the lyrics into her skin.

"When you make love, do you look in the mirror? Who do you think of? Does he look like me?"

Rey moans and shifts herself in his lap. Which only causes him to grow harder under her. She slowly moved against him, feeling his length pressed against her.

"Ben, I wasn't with anyone else"

"I know now but back then, I knew those men wanted you. Hell, who could blame them? Looking at you daily, you are so beautiful"

He starts singing again, in a whisper while kissing her neck and then her chin. 

"I don't want to touch you too much baby, cause making love to you might drive me crazy"

She whispers back, lightly kissing his amazing lips. 

"Does making love to me drive you crazy? Is it as good as you imagined it to be? Did I fulfill your fantasies?"

"Oh kriff yes, better, so much better" he thrusts up at her, grabbing her rear roughly. She squeezes his hips with her thighs, slipping her dress over her head. He groans, taking her breast into his mouth. 

"Show me Ben, show me how I drive you crazy" 

"Oh damn Rey, damn"

"Did you fantasize making love to me to this song?"

He growls deep in his throat. 

"Yes"

"Then I'll make your fantasy come true"

"Oh force Rey, you are…..ugh….what you do to me, damn baby" he thrusts up harder, sinking his teeth onto her nipple, pinching the other with just enough pressure to drive her wild but not hurt her.

She hollers out, grinding him faster. He grabs her panties, which are thin and barely cover her and he rips the sides, pulling them off. He reaches down and strokes her clit, still lavishing her breasts with his mouth.

She pushes his hand away so she can reach and undo his pants. She grasps his cock, stroking him, rubbing the head on her wetness. 

He almost comes undone just from her heat.

"Put me inside you Rey, please" he begs.

"Not yet" she whispers and bites his shoulder, still holding his length in her hand. 

She rubs him on her clit, grinding into him. He can feel her wetness increasing. He is going mad to be inside of her. But he can't move, he's so taken by how she looks, wild and wanton. He presses his forehead against hers, stroking her breasts with both hands as she climbs higher in her passion for him.

"Let me watch you come Rey. I love watching you come for me. Please."

Her climax is building, he feels her body vibrating. She hollers his name over and over, gasping loudly. He watches her writhe as he holds her against him.

"That's it my love, you are so beautiful when you come. That's it, come apart for me"

He grabs her hand and pulls it up his body. Her hand is wet. He licks her fingers, tasting her, watching her eyes turn to flames.

She can't hold back. She lifts up and impales herself on him. This time he hollers her name between gasps. 

"Rey...Rey….oh…. Rey you are amazing...so wet...hot…"

"Rey, grab the armrests, now"

She did as she was told and he thrust up into her violently, holding her tightly. She screamed his name. He growled hers. 

He can't stop. He buries himself over and over, roughly, her screams only encouraging him to go faster, harder. 

He feels her walls flutter around him and he knows she's climbing again. He knows he is too. 

They climax together, feeling each other through their dyad as they gasp and shout each other's names. Then they slowly descend, the muscles inside of her still throbbing around him. 

Rey rests her cheek on his shoulder. They inhale together. They exhale together. Their hearts race then slow.

She lifts her head and places her forehead to his. 

"I love the way you make me feel" 

Ben finds himself unable to speak out loud.

_ That was better than even I imagined it back then…. _

She sighs deeply, shifting in his lap. She pulls herself even closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She loves how his large body swallows her. She shivers as the sweat on her body cools.

He grabs his cloak on the floor and wraps them up in it. He loves feeling her naked body pressed against him, shaking from her orgasm. Shaking because of what he did to her. Only he gets to do that to her and he's still in awe that she lets him. 

This is his Rey at her most vulnerable. He is the only one in the galaxy who gets to see her this way.

"Yeah, that too Ben….oh yeah….that too….but what I mean Ben is that, I love how you make me feel about myself. You make me feel so beautiful and smart. You make me feel like I'm funny and pretty and intelligent. You make me feel like I'm everything"

The words she was saying make him smile. 

Except the last one. 

It hits him. Something he has never repaired. 

"Look at me Rey"

He sounds so serious all of the sudden. She lifts her eyes to his, perplexed at the feelings she feels coursing inside of him. 

"Rey, I've been so awful to you"

She goes to cut him off, correct him. 

"No. Listen. I was a complete monster to you. I was actually abusive to you. I'll never understand why you are here. Why are you in my arms? I'll never understand"

He pauses.

"If any man EVER...."

Ben suddenly has fire in his eyes. Every muscle in his body tenses. 

She kisses him gently and he is instantly calmer. He breathes in deeply.

"If any man ever told Driea or Leia they were nothing, I'd kill him. I'd make him suffer...."

"I know you would Ben" she says, pulling her fingers through his hair. 

He sets Rey back, still keeping his cloak around her.

"Rey, I was so wrong to tell you that. No matter my motive. No matter if I was brainwashed. No excuses"

She opens her mouth to speak.

"No Rey. Just....listen....I was wrong. You never were nothing. You were my dyad from birth. But even if you weren't, you were never nothing"

"You think it was from birth? I thought it was from that day on your ship"

"I think it was from birth. Rey you are everything. The Suns, the moons, the stars, you are my breath and the blood in my veins. You steal me again everytime you look at me. I hear your voice in my mind and I gasp. I don't understand why you loved me back then. Why Rey?"

She is so amazed by him.

Who is this man? This man who could barely speak to her when they first arrived on Driea? This man who was a complete idiot every damn time he spoke for the first year they knew each other?

Their love had changed him. She smiles, holding his face in both of her hands.

"When I looked into your eyes I knew you were not trying to be cruel. To you, being nothing was not a bad thing to be. In your weird stupid way you were trying to say that you loved me"

"Still, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it but that's no excuse. I'm still sorry"

"I forgive you Ben. I even forgive Kylo"

She breaks into a sob. He smoothes her hair back from her face as she whispers into the Dyad. 

_ Can I say something? _

_ Anything. _

She places a hand on each side of his face, stroking his cheekbones with her thumbs. She feels him completely relax at her caresses. She looks deep into his honey-colored eyes. 

"Kylo, I forgive you. I know you're still there, somewhere. You're still in there and that's okay. You aren't a monster. Not to me. Kylo, I love you. As much as I love Ben. I love both of you. Both of you belong to me."

He blinks in surprise and smiles.

"You are amazing, Rey. You see right into me"

He has a confession to make.

"You know why I had the helmet reconstructed? To keep you from seeing that I was in love with you. I knew you'd realize it if you looked deep enough in my eyes"

"And that was a stupid thing to do. You should've just been honest with me"

"Hell, Rey, I was terrified you'd break my heart"

She slid her hand over his heart. "Never, I love this heart. I did back then too"

Then she smiles a wicked smile with a twinkle in her eye, wanting to change the subject.

"It also helped a lot that you were fine as hell too with your broody eyes. And hair. And lips. And body. And hands. Do you even realize how hot you are?"

She slightly grinds him, taking his lips onto hers, rubbing her breasts up against his chest.

He lets out a moan. She sure as hell knows how to change the subject. She does it again, slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He is instantly hard again. She lifts up and settles down on him, pushing him inside of her as deep as he can go. 

This time it is slower, more gentle. 

He tells her she is everything to him and that he loves her so much. She just listens because she knows he needs to heal some more by confessing his love for her.

She loves this man so deeply. This man who is her best friend, her lover, her rescuer and her hero.

She climaxes again. It is deeper this time. Each time is better than the last time. 

He holds on until he can't then he falls off that cliff with her, moaning her name.

She collapses on him. She snakes her arms around him, burying her face into his neck, feeling his heart racing.

"I just want to sleep on you but we better stop. There's no telling where the auto pilot has taken us"

"Oh I know where we are"

He nods out of the window and she turns to see.

They are home. Driea.

She turns back and looks at him, eyes wide with surprise. 

"We are home Ben!"

She kisses him, laughing.

He beams at her joy. She surely loves this little planet on the outer rim. He does too.

"Did you set a course here? I thought we were just drifting"

"You needed to come home Rey. We all did"

"Wait. The girls. We left them on Anja Kloss!"

She jumps up. He watches her naked body scramble around for her clothes. He finds it sexy but funny at the same time. 

"Rey, calm down. Chewy is bringing the girls. Poe and Zorii are helping him"

She stands up, still naked, looking for her dress. Then she sits back down in his lap and grabs her boots, pulling them on. Her new boots. With the heels.

He groans at the feeling of her bare ass on his crotch, squirming trying to get her boots on. 

"I really need you to put some clothes on babe. I'm getting hard again. I'm going to need you to just wear those boots next time"

She stands, naked in her boots and hits him.

"You are always so horny!"

"Well it's your fault. I swear you tease me constantly"

He stands up and wraps his cloak around her and kisses her deeply, grabbing her naked ass with one hand and lifting her up off the floor. He slides one hand between her legs and strokes her. She goes to wrap her legs around his waist, boots and all.

"Let's go around the planet one time" she growls in his ear.

He sets her down and says "Nope" 

He walks out of the cockpit, snatching his cloak off of her. 

She stands there in shock, naked.

"Hey!!! No fair!!"

He laughs loudly at her, his laugh filling the ship.

"Next time quit teasing me woman! You knew what you were doing putting your boots on first! Get dressed and land your ship!"

She reaches and finds her dress. And torn panties. 

"Ugh! Again! You ripped my panties! This dress is too short! Give me your cloak back!"

He reappears in the door with new panties.

Hanging from his mouth.

"Here, I packed these" he says through gritted teeth. 

"Ben!! Gimme those!" She hollers and snatches her panties from his mouth, pretending to be angry. He stares at her and when she can no longer resist, she looks at him. He grins and winks. 

She sat in the pilot's seat, still naked and slips her panties over her boots. Then she stands, turns her back to him and slowly bends to pick her dress up off the floor.

He blows air loudly from his mouth.

"You distracted there, Captain?" she asks as she pulls her dress over her head then sits down.

She smiles at him with a wink and spins around to pilot the falcon. He leans on the doorway and watches her.

She is much better at this game. 

She quips at him "Put your shirt on and quit teasing me"

"Where have I heard you say that before?" He said, teasing her about the topless force connect from years ago.

"Hey! Wait a minute! Since when do I have panties on the falcon??"

"Since I snuck a bag on here yesterday"

"You planned this whole thing? Swooping me home, sneaking the girls here....did you plan on making love to me in the cockpit all the way here?"

"Nope, I'm just lucky as hell" he says and laughs "It never occured to me that chair could withstand all that"

She tries to hit him but he jumps back, laughing. She loves hearing him laugh. 

He slides into the co-pilot seat. 

"Wait, you want your seat back?"

"Not even a little. You look beautiful in it"

"Well then set the course for home"

"Yes ma'am!" He says very seriously and she bursts out laughing

"I love you, Ben Solo"

"I love you too, Rey Solo"


End file.
